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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 21:56   #1
No Dachi
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The Bitter Pill

This is a bar-type thread from No Dachi and Co.

The Bitter Pill
A gate on the road of a busy street, made of wrought iron and stretched between the front of a gap in the otherwise solid line of buildings, opens up into a tranquil and lush green garden. A sign hangs flapping in the breeze from a wooden post driven into the ground next to the well-beaten path leading inward from the gate. On the wooden sign is a picture of a pill, with a few lavishly painted words beneath it reading "The Bitter Pill - Public House Est 1816". The path is tan-coloured gravel, and has been displaced by frequent use. Walking further up the path, you encounter a red brick building fashioned in classic Victorian style. Going inside, you find an aesthetically pleasing bar room almost entirely pannelled by oak. You are now in 'The Bitter Pill'.

Rules of ye Threade
1) This is an easy-going, non-serious thread. Keep the RPing low-profile. The aim is to "chill"

2) Feel free to fabricate your own interesting events.

3) I am the owner, I am God, you will obey. You will also obey Fluffie.

4) No smoking.

5) All clientelle are obliged to use the similie once every three posts.

6) [Add anything that I say is a rule after this post in here]
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`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 22:06   #2
Crazyboy
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*Whlie between his many joureys from pub to pub, Crazy comes across one he hasn't spotted before. Stopping in his interstellar and inter-dimension pub crawl ( ), Crazy crawls into the newly found pub, slumps up to the bar and orders a pint of whiskey*
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I admit defeat...

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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 22:08   #3
No Dachi
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Re: The Bitter Pill

No Dachi leans on his left arm, elbow rested on the polished oak surface of the bar. Lazily, with his right hand, he reaches beneath the bar and produces a pint glass full of camel urine. He then reaches beneath the bar again and produces a little wooden umbrella as can be found in particularly lurid cocktail drinks, opens the umbrella, and puts it in the glass of camel urine, which he then slides across the bar toward Crazy.

"One pint of Camel Piss, enjoy."
__________________
`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 22:18   #4
Crazyboy
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*Crazy looks suspiciously at his drink of Camel Piss which then turns into a Pissed Camel*

"Was that meant to happen?"
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Zen Master Ellis says:
I admit defeat...

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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 22:19   #5
No Dachi
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Re: The Bitter Pill

"Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't. Either way I need £20 for that Camel Piss."
__________________
`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 22:26   #6
Lakhim
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Lakhim sits down and does nothing for quite a long time, looking blankly at a spot on the bar between No Dachi and Crazyboy.
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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 22:28   #7
No Dachi
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Re: The Bitter Pill

No Dachi stares at Lakhim for around five seconds before lifting his right hand to point at a brightly coloured sign hanging above the bar, on which are written the command: "No looking at blank spots on the bar without paying for a drink first, you cheap scum."
__________________
`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 22:29   #8
AcidK
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*AcidK walked in carefully and looked now towards the bar. Rubbing his hands together, he sat down and called Dachi over.*

Ho there, just wondering if you have any bar work you may want to... ahem... allow someone else to occupy
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Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
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I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 22:29   #9
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Phang2USearchBot.exe enters the bar.

"Hello, did you know that girls wanta.bigger@one? get our all natural viagra substitues from 235.56.35353.5/shifty/looking.ip
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To install click YES!

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Nah, I Was just kidding. You can still click YES!

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and lkatdaxsldrtik see.mygirlfirends wet pussy on camera for you only 9.95 dollar/hour! yes! rude progenitor duluth matilda motherland ..."

And then someone activated the junk mail filter and calm was restored
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Unread 6 Apr 2004, 22:32   #10
Lakhim
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Lakhim's hand slowly moved down to his wallet, took out three $10 bills and threw them on the counter, never taking his eyes off of the spot on the counter.
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 01:27   #11
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Bakan walks on into the new bar and looks around. Seeing only a few people, he goes over to the bar,

"Bartender, a cold beer please."
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 10:08   #12
anarcharnate
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Re: The Bitter Pill

following Bakan very subtly and quietly, Anarcharnate ducks out of his gaze as he looks around. Sneaking just behind him as he approaches the bar, he peeks just over the edge and tries to get No Dachi's attention through frantic eye twitching.
"Bartender- a warm beer please. And quietly. He doesn't know i'm here."
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 11:10   #13
No Dachi
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Re: The Bitter Pill

No Dachi looks lazily up at AcidK, having just been asked if he needs any bar work done.

"No, thank you, but we barely make enough money to keep the place running as it is..." He replies, scooping Lakhim's donation into the cash drawer of the till, a bulging mass of paper notes straining against the spring-loaded arms holding them in. He wedges the new notes into a narrow gap at the side, and then pushes the till shut. It gives a pleasant bell chime noise. No Dachi nods approvingly at Lakhim, content for him to continue staring at the bar.

Presently some crazy foo' search engine walks in, followed closely by a stranger, who himself is being followed closely by another stranger. The first stranger asks him for a drink, as does the second stranger who is stalking them. Speaking to noone in particular as he laboriously straightens up and crouches down below the bar, No Dachi rises again with a pump action shotgun.

"I'll get you gentlemen drinks in a moment, but first I have to take out ze trash - with avengeance." On the last word, No Dachi reloads the shotgun with a satisfying noise of clicking reloading mechanisms. A used shell is ejected from the side of the gun. The combination of this chilling line and the equally chilling reloading of the shotgun give No Dachi multiple points. He levels the business end of the shotgun at the search engine and fires, reloads, fires, reloads, fires, reloads again, and then fires one last time for good measure. He then returns the shotgun to its place below the bar, once more dissapearing from sight, before resurfacing with two pint glasses of cool, foaming beer, which he then places on the bar in front of Bakan and anarchmate. With his right hand, he then reaches into a box below the bar, and comes out again holding two pills. The pills are different shape and colour. He drops one in each beer.

"Two mystery mixer surprises, enjoy. £20 each. Also payable in dollars and virgin blood. Bwahahahaha. Ahem."
__________________
`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 11:37   #14
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Quote:
Originally Posted by No Dachi
This is a bar-type thread from No Dachi and Co.
3) I am the owner, I am God, you will obey. You will also obey Fluffie.

4) No smoking.
Slight change to rule number 4.
Dutch people called "Fluffie" can smoke. But only pot.
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i want to cover her body with apple pie and eat it off her
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 12:23   #15
AcidK
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Re: The Bitter Pill

No matter, I'll have a Myst Breaker

*AcidK places two bags of gemstones, each counting up to the equivilent of 1,000,000 Shraanian Credits. He then took out a cigar from hit top pocket, placing it in his mouth and smiled to taste the familiar taste of tobacco. He then shot his arm forward, a lighted suddenly bursting out of his sleeve. Catching it and lighting it in one fluid moment, AcidK lit the cigar and let the lighter fall into his sleeve. AcidK took one puff, enough smoke suddenly surrounding him to hot-box a small car.*
__________________
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 12:45   #16
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Fishbone opened the door loudly, walking into the bar.
"Effing freezin' out there!" he exclaimed, to noone in particular.
He looked around at the sullen faces and strange costumes people were wearing, muttered something under his breath, and bounded over to the bar.
"Hey man, how's business?" Fishbone nodded to the bartender.
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 13:02   #17
AcidK
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*AcidK looked at Fishbone as he began reading the thoughts booming out of Fishbone's head.*

You gots something wrong with my cloak and gauntlet arm?
__________________
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 13:06   #18
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Fishbone turned around to face AcidK, a big smile on his face.
"Ohh, is that what it is? Gauntlet arm eh?"
Fishboned slapped AcidK on the arm, and moved it away quickly as he noticed AcidK's annoyance at his behaviour.
"Let me buy you a drink, friend. What'll it be?"
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 13:16   #19
J-Kama-Ka-C
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*Kama strolled along the footpath with a dry old stick he had picked up somewhere, and passed the time by rattling it along the line of wrough iron fencing, noticing the inward trending path found admist an otherwise respectable looking street, he shrugged, followed it to the door and disappeared inside.

"One serving of your est bottled water or I shall be off in search of another drinking extablishment."
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 13:59   #20
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*flapjack pulled on the flight stick of his hyper-interceptor as he hit the atmosphere, moving ever so slightly to fast. On his way down flapjack was forced to evade a small airliner, which he almost succeeded in, before again attempting to pull up hard before hitting the ground. There was however at point the minor problem of a lack of wings. a few milliseconds later the ejector sequence started and flapjack was shot out of the interceptor as it smashed into the street and laid ruin to the area, after about a minute flapjack landed in front of some bar and quickly donned his 'chute before walking in*

"Something strong please, oh and can i make a phone call from here?"
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 14:01   #21
Fluffie
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Re: The Bitter Pill

"No phonecalls here!"

Fluffie roars. He roars the above!

"Line's still dead."
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 14:33   #22
Bakan
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*Looking at his beer with the mysterious pill inside, Bakan shruggs, and opens his mouth wide and drinks the contents of the entire glass in one large gulp, worthy of . Getting the glass back down at the table, Bakan gestures for another glass.*

"Good shit yo."
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 14:55   #23
No Dachi
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Re: The Bitter Pill

No Dachi waves his hand dismissively.

"Fine, fine, fine, Fluffie's allowed to smoke all the cannabis he wants. You, on the other hand..." He says, pointing at AcidK, who is wreathed in cigar smoke, "are not except from this rule. Normally I'd let you off except you didn't use the smilie either! What do you think this is, some kind of crazy bar where people don't use the smilie and get to smoke all the damn cigars they please?! Fie! Fie I say!" No Dachi hammers his fist down on a large red button marked 'Fluff-Com' and yells urgently into a microphone that appears seemingly from nowhere. "Yo, Dude Fluffie, we've got a rule breaker here. You know what to do...ehehehehehe...ahahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHA!" No Dachi lapses into hysterical laughter, staring the whole time at AcidK out of the corner of his eye, before once more clearing his throat, and turning to face Kama.

"You get a 20% discount for being so . Unfortunatly, since you've got a dry old stick, you have to pay the Dry Old Stick Tax, which is 20% extra." As he says this, he reaches beneath the bar and comes up with a large glass bottle. A label on the side reads 'WATER, PREMIUM TRIPPLE EXTRA!', as well as a danger warning from the Health Ministry. Vapour from the dry ice that the bottle was stored in billows into the air. No Dachi produces a glass from beneath the table, as well as a welder's mask and a pair of long tongs. He steps back from the bar, closes the tongs around the bottle and puts the welder's mask on over his face. Slowly and carefully, he lifts the bottle up, turns it slowly horizontally, and pours water into the glass untill it is full. Not a drop is spilled. No Dachi breathes a sigh of relief, and in doing so spills a single drop of the water from the mouth of the bottle. It falls toward the bar. No Dachi sees it. "OH SWEET JESUS!" He yells, throwing himself flat on the ground, managing to catch the falling bottle with both hands. He puts it on the ground and covers his head with his hands. The drop of water, meanwhile, hits the bar and makes a tiny splash mark. No Dachi remains on the ground. After a few seconds, he lifts himself into a wary crouching position and looks at the splash mark carefully. He stands up, takes the welder's mask off, and straightens a non-existent necktie. "Ahem. You can never be too careful with this stuff..." Producing the tongs again, he pushes the glass across the bar toward Kama. "£30 for that, including the discount and the extra tax."

He turns to Fishbone. "When you've decided what you want to drink, you just tell me, okay? Then I'll ignore you as is customary."

Lastly, he turns to Bakan. "Another glass for the gentleman? Very well..." Once again, he reaches beneath the bar, producing another glass of golden, foaming beer. He produces a particularly gaudy looking pill, which is green at one end and neon pink at the other. "Looks like the gentleman is lucky," He says to Bakan as he puts the pill into the beer, "...and probably dead." He adds, speaking to noone in particular.
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`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 15:15   #24
Fluffie
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Upon the bashing of the Fluff-button, Fluffie suddenly disappears from somewhere and ly re-appears standing behind AcidK.

"Is he... un?"
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 15:38   #25
No Dachi
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Re: The Bitter Pill

"That depends. He certainly was violating the smilie rule though..."
__________________
`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 15:41   #26
Fluffie
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Re: The Bitter Pill

* Stabs Acid with a stabby thing, jerking out one of his kidneys.

"There. Enough punishment for now."

Fluffie throws the kidney at a random, suddenly appearing and disappearing dog before re-disappearing again.
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 15:48   #27
No Dachi
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Re: The Bitter Pill

No Dachi suddenly spots the newly re-appeared Fluffie and immediately straightens up.

"Well good day to you, Mr Fluffie, I didn't know you were here. Say hello to Fluffie, everyone. Say hello to Fluffie..." No Dachi produces the shotgun again and places it on the table...
__________________
`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 15:54   #28
Fluffie
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Re: The Bitter Pill



<3 Dachi & shotgun <3
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 16:05   #29
Bakan
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*Now having a second mug of beer in front of him with a special pill in it, Bakan again, using his powers, downs it all in one gulp. Setting the mug down, Bakan slowely stands and wavers as the alochol and the drugs hit his system in full force. Smiling at the pink elephants flying by, Bakan waver and stumbles, and lands in front of the piano. Smiling drunkinely, Bakan, using his drunkiness, starts playing out songs, amazing really really good. Smiling, Bakan throws his body into the playing of songs on the piano, not signing though for taht would be un.*
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 16:21   #30
flapjack
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*flapjack waits for a strong drink to be delivered so he can be *
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IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 16:28   #31
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Fishbone stifles a cough as he watches the guy he was talking to look unconcernedly down at his kidney flying across the room.

"Right.... uh... "

Fishbone looked back at the bartender, glancing at the shotgun nervously,

"Hey boss, I'll have a double whiskey in a wide glass, with two icecubes in it please. And one for yourself"

He opened his wallet, checking inside to see how much cash he had on him.

"Do we get a discount for student cards? "
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 16:34   #32
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Re: The Bitter Pill

No Dachi freezes dead in his steps, ignoring everyone around him, for around a minute, then, suddenly, he grabs the shotgun and starts firing into the air at random.

"I SAID SAY HELLO TO FLUFFIE YOU MOTHER****ERS!" He screams, levlling the shotgun down low and blowing a chunk out of the bar, "SO ****ING SAY HELLO TO ****ING FLUFFIE ALREADY!"
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`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 16:36   #33
flapjack
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Re: The Bitter Pill

"hello Fluffie. Now can i have my drink?"

*flapjack ducks behind the bar while awaiting a response*
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IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 16:37   #34
Bakan
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*While waving around drunkinly in his chair in front of the piano, and even making his voice in rithem with his song, Bakan yells out.*

[Song Mode]"A-ND HELLO MR. FLUFFIE, who's so fluffiethatheisafluffythatallthegirlhavetocuddleupithcauseheissofluffywhoissocauseheisFLUFFIE! !!!!!!"
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 16:42   #35
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Re: The Bitter Pill

* Sits down next to Bakan, being the only one smoking. Smoking stuff.

<3 Bakan <3
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i want to cover her body with apple pie and eat it off her
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 16:48   #36
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Re: The Bitter Pill

No Dachi growls a low, gutteral, menacing growl and leans over the bar, apron and all, before levelling the shotgun vertically downwards at Flapjack#s head and reloading.

"Say it like you mean it!"
__________________
`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 16:49   #37
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*Plays some rather dramatic music.*
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 17:09   #38
Fishbone
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Fishbone freezes for a moment, looking confused at the manic barman shooting into the air.

"Hey Fluffie, how's tricks?"

He held out his hand,as if to shake Fluffie's, but thought better of it, grinned at him, and turned back to the barman.
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 17:10   #39
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Re: The Bitter Pill

No Dachi lifts his head from staring down the gunsights at Flapjack to look at Fishbone.

"I'll be with you in a moment, kind of busy here..."
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`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 17:12   #40
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Re: The Bitter Pill

* Draws a shotgun, levelling it at Fishbone's head.

"Got him!"
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 17:33   #41
flapjack
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Re: The Bitter Pill

"Errr, hello fluffie..."

*Flapjack crawls back slightly, wishing he'd still have his flightsuit on or at least the bulletproof vest in the flightsuit*
__________________
IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 17:42   #42
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Fishbone sees a large shotgun being pointed at his head, out of the corner of his eye.

"Uhm, hi Fluffie... "

Fishbone gingerly moved his hand towards the barrel of the shotgun and moved it away from his head, pointing it towards a large moose's head on the wall.
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 17:44   #43
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Fluffie grins, makes the shotgun disappear and nods at Dachi.

"Drinks for the man!"

Then, he puts on his (shades ) and continues smoking. The world starts shaking soon there-after
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 17:54   #44
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Fishbone gives another of his annoying grins and looks to Dachi for his drink, eyes glazing over at all the bottles on the shelves, that he'd never heard of.
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 17:56   #45
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Re: The Bitter Pill

* Stabs and jerks out one of Fishbone's kidneys as he turns around.

"Hehehehe, sucker!"

* Quickly adds the kidney to a little, hidden freezer, storing them to sell them on the blackmarket later on.
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 18:07   #46
AcidK
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Not sure what you'd like with a non-functioning kidney... aaw, look at that, you got my suit filled with blue blood... I may not be as much a -user as you uns are but I certainly would like that hole repaired in my jacket. Aww, look at this, my cigars are soggy.

*AcidK uses his cigar and pokes it in Fluffie's eye.*

And make the drink a double! Gah, my money bags are covered in this wretched stuff...

*AcidK removes a hand from his pocket, this blood dripping from them, flicking it at Fluffie.*
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 18:08   #47
flapjack
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*Flapjack immediatly morphes into his dragon form when he noticeses blood from Acidk*

"Run, run."
__________________
IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 18:21   #48
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Re: The Bitter Pill

Satisfied with Flapjack's proper greeting of Fluffie, No Dachi is busy making Fishbone a drink when he suddenly gets a dose of unabashed insolence from AcidK, directed at none other than Fluffie, the Duke of . In a fit of violent rage, No Dachi picks up the shotgun (which was still on the bar at the time) and fires two point blank shots into AcidK's head. Shotgun pellets tear through his skull and rip his brain into a thick, useless goo. Gore and crimson viscera is thrown out on the other side in a magnificent cloud of blood. No Dachi reloads with satisfaction and then chucks the shotgun back over his head onto the floor. On impact with the ground, it fires a second time, smashing a row of brightly coloued bottles. Shards of glass fly on a trajectory improbable according to the physics of the universe as we know them and mutilate AcidK's corpse. No Dachi comes out from aroudn the bar, produces a mop, and mops uo some of AcidK's blood. He then squeezes out the liquid from the mop's ropen tendrils into a glass, which he then pushes across the bar toward Fishbone.

"One Foo'-Who-Dared-Be-Insolent-Toward-Fluffie's Blood. £30." He says, hand held out expectantly, before apparently thinking better of it. No Dachi puts the muzzle of the shotgun in his mouth and, having reloaded, pulls the trigger. A dense-packed group of shotgun pellets shatter his cerebral cortex completely, and his entire body gives a single jerk before collapsing into a heap on the floor, surrounded by a rapidly expanding pool of blood, which also covers the drink bottles that were behind him.

---

Dying in this thead isn't much of a barrier. If you die through natural (eg, contracting malaria and dying) or unnatural (like having two cartridges of shotgun pellets unloaded into your brain because you stuck a cigar butt in Fluffie's eye or something), you can just walk through the door again . This bar is less a non-plot thread than an excuse for inexcusably manic comic caperings, so dying and reappearing then is quite permissible.
__________________
`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 18:45   #49
AcidK
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Re: The Bitter Pill

*AcidK's eyes, or what remains of an eye, looks now at Dachi before fading out.*


*AcidK opens the door of the Bitter Pill, slamming it open and with a cigar in his mouth, unlit, staring now around the bar.*

I hope you like your muscles melting.... You do know what happens when I can't control my blood flowing around the place (ie, by two shotgun shells in the head) do you not?
__________________
When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 7 Apr 2004, 19:05   #50
No Dachi
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Re: The Bitter Pill

A newly-alive No Dachi emerges from a trapdoor set into the stone floor behind a bar. He is carrying two dead sheep, for no apparent reason. He looks around as though confused, then shrugs, throwing one sheep back through the trapdoor. He puts the remaining sheep on the bar.

"My apologies, sir, please do accept a sheep with compliments of the establishment."
__________________
`The Root of evil Avarice,
That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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