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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 09:53   #51
Richpur
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Re: [witty thread title]

(Got to be the first thread I've been arbitrarily killed in because the dm couldn't be arsed to read )
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 14:20   #52
Crazyboy
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Re: [witty thread title]

"Phew. What a stink!"

Crazy passed out.

Crazy woke up again a few hours later when the smell had finally disappated.

Crazy then decided he needed some more drink. He fell out of the bed with a loud thud and stumbled off in search of an unopened bottle of alcohol.
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:11   #53
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

Crazy
Go on, stumble on. Think luxery hotel suite, with drunken-fun-and-other-assorted-things junk and items laying about. She's still asleep, better be quiet.

Richpur
I read it... But that kind of post is not what the thread wants. At least, not yet.
But yeah, posting "good" (mind that "good" is subjective) killed you

Feel free to restart. If you want, of course.

Bakan
The laser malfunctions and you realise too late. You're on a collision course with the congestion, at high, terribly high speed.

mrmao
Fluffie of course only has you thinking you are important to him. It's like playing a game of chess, and you're not even a piece without knowing it. But, as they sometimes say, ignorance is bliss, eh?

Sitting behind your desk in the office and not having realised the above, nor ever being even slightly able of coming to grasps with such a though, your butler steps in and announces the spy.

The latter walks in, looking overly self confident.

"You were expecting me, I assume?"

David91
Overly annoyed by someone suddenly appearing at their lovely airport and even more annoyed by that someone trying to cause a riot, Dutch elite troopers (which, in this thread are oh so very elite, eliter than you, even if you are going to post and say they are not) start surrounding you, utilising whatever means of not being detected they want.

They leave it at that however, they are merely observing you for now.

Someone else though, annoyed by your behaviour, punches you. In the nose. Hard.
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:16   #54
Bakan
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Re: [witty thread title]

"WHEEEE!!!!"

"CollisionS!"

*Hitting a button on the dashboard, Bakan's Astro Martin jumps into the air, and the wheels invert Back to the Future sytle into a funky hovering car, which travels over the congestion.*
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:21   #55
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

Bakan
Happy the Hover Mode still works, you glide through the sky with great ease. Finding your way into and finally above the clouds, you just cruise, when suddenly a HUD bleeps into life in front of you.

An incoming call.

And the car's computer automatically connected, which meant that it was someone on your priority list. Ah! The ultra elite super Dutch special forces were on the line! Maybe you would have some more fun today.

An helmed and masked face appears on the HUD, immidiately beginning to speak.

"Mr. Bakan, are you available? We have something, or rather, someone you might want to handle."
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:23   #56
Bakan
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Re: [witty thread title]

*Checking the time, Bakan decides to listen to the job, while warming up the wormhole generator in his car.*

"Go ahead, what you want."
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:25   #57
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

Bakan
The masked face disappears, his voice still talking to you. Instead, an image of someone apparantly disturbing the normally enjoyable and reasonable quiet atmosphere of Schiphol Airport.

"We might require this man.. or.. erh, boy... to be taken out soon. Interested? We'll wire the usual fee to the Suiss bank account, if you accept."
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:26   #58
Bakan
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Re: [witty thread title]

"Sure thing, location and name please, and choice of death."
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:29   #59
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

Bakan
The image, which seemed to be coming from one of the advanced Schiphol Airport Security Network, faded away, replaced by another image, which seemed to be coming from another camera from the same Network. It showed the private hangar where you had been before... This was not your first visit to Schiphol.

"Name currently unknown. We'll leave the method up to you, but try and not cause too much commotion and destruction to the site. We'll have someone waiting at the hangar."
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:32   #60
Bakan
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Re: [witty thread title]

*Checking the coordinates of the hanger, Bakan inputs them into the wormhole generator in his Astro Martin. In front of him, a wormhole appears, and Bakan's Astro-Martin jumps through.*

*In front of the hanger, a wormhole appears, pumping out some funky music, and Bakan's Astro Martin jumps through, pumping funky tunes out of it's funky sound system.*
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:33   #61
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Re: [witty thread title]

The Monkey King could feel the air moving gently against his Monkey Skin as a slight breeze blew through the Royal Monkey Chamber. It was time.

In an instant, he was off the Monkey Throne's raised area and onto the floor, standing in front of the One Banana. Curling his hands into fists and feeling the power and strength stored in his frame, No Dachi dropped into a martial arts stance and awaited the One Banana's first move. All of Monkeykind was depending on him.
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-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:37   #62
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

Bakan
Looks like the Dutch had not been informed of the latest modification to your Astro, since no-one was waiting for you yet. It wouldn't take long though, the Dutch weren't that slow.

Maybe this was a good time to check your trunk for toys, or maybe just watch some of those old fashioned planes fly around.

No Dachi
Without even noticing he was about to move and even not noticing that he was in fact moving, the One-Banana's fist was suddenly in your face. Or rather on your face, hitting you right on the nose. Luckily it was just bleeding (badly)... Flying back and connecting with the wall, you slide down, leaning against it.

The Banana is still standing there, now laughing. He raises his arm and points his finger at you, mockingly.

"You dog! You are no longer strong enough to keep me down! Fool!"
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:38   #63
Bakan
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Re: [witty thread title]

*Landing the Astro Martin, Bakan walks to the trunk, and opens it up to check out his toys.*
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:39   #64
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Re: [witty thread title]

Mrmao reclined as the spy came. “Don’t even bother starting the conversation I know who you are, Mr. Blond.”

The spy looked surprised yet none the less confident. He pulled out a Walther PPK and began to try at converting Mrmao away from his ways of evil. “You know mrmao a lot of good could be done with your genius, think of it no more world hunger, world peace,-“

Mrmao of course was bored right now and interrupted, “Yes cure cancer and etc. heard it all before not interested.” Mrmao pushed a yellow button on his desk, a trap door opened up beneath the spy. He fell into a tank full of Red Belly Piranhas, after the sloshing ceased Mao pushed a button with a lighting bolt on it. The next was heard some humming, and the lights flickered a little. After electrocuting the water Mao pulled out an MP5 form under his desk walked over to the trap door and emptied the clip into the tank beneath. He then went back to his desk and hit the button for his receptionist. “Yes we are going to need the tank cleaned and new shipment of Red Bellied Piranhas.” It was an expensive to keep doing this but it was thorough. He was making enough money anyway. Besides he could always move away from the supply end and move to the action end of things.
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:40   #65
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Re: [witty thread title]

By way of reply, the Monkey King brought one of his legs sharply round, taking the One Banana's feet out from beneath him before leaping into the air. Kicking off against the wall behind him, he flew through the air down the Royal Monkey Chambre's length, coming to a halt around the middle of the room and landing smartly on the floor before turning to face the ancient nemesis of the Monkey People.

"Fool Banana! I will send you back to the ground from which you grew!" Roared the Monkey King defiantly, before leaping through the air toward the One Banana, a powerful flying kick aimed at its face.
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That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
Emply'd a Million of the Poor,
And odious Pride a Million more.'

-The Grumbling Hive: or, Knaves Turn'd Honest, Bernard Mandeville
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 17:54   #66
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Re: [witty thread title]

Quote:
Originally Posted by flapjack
There was a white flash, the type you always see in movies when something happens that the director doesn't want people to see and there was Flapjack, looking around the small alley he had been landed in.

This isn't Auir, now what did they do wrong?
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<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 19:24   #67
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

flappy
sorreh dude.

What indeed did they do wrong. Everything seemed normal, but still... odd. Was there something going on? If you had to judge by the feel of it, there was. But what?

So many questions, but here, so few answers.

In the distance, you hear the sound of an inn, normal, but still... not?

No Dachi
A mighty attack indeed, but not at all effective. Your flying kick only hits air, leaving to you to land and slide to a stop. Behind you, you hear the One-Banana laughing.

"You should have never forgotten about your power."

He laughs some more, louder now.

"Your rule made you careless... And now..."

He simply laughs more. His words held truth though, you had indeed once wielded a power, greater than anything ever seen before at that time, but now... Did you still have it in you?

mrmao
The phone starts ringing. Better answer it, no?

Bakan
Just as you open the trunk, a gust of air catches you. And this, of course, is no normal gust of wind... A white flash follows and suddenly, you are a child again, standing in the playground of the school you attended when still young.

The bullies that always got to you were eyeing you again.

You quick, and desperately, check yourself, but none of the equipment you had on you in your future life, as you knew, was on you...
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 19:58   #68
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Re: [witty thread title]

Mrmao had shifted his attention out the main window. As he stood there a woman in a red cocktail dress fell to the pavement below. There he thought, love interest taken care of as well. He turned to his desk he was going to call the men on the roof who had disposed of her and congratulate them on a job well. However the phone rang, Mrmao picked it up and answered, “Hello.”
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 21:01   #69
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Re: [witty thread title]

ooc/Everybody makes mistakes, normally I'd have made some witty threat to your adress but I don't feel like it right now/ooc

Flapjack looked down to himself, checking his power armor and seeing if his psi-blades weren't damaged by the particularly bumpy ride through the warp gate, not to mention the fact he was on some alien world.

About at that point a couple of humans walked past at the end of the alley, apparently not noticing the rather oddly dressed and clearly non-human Flapjack, he however could clearly see them and cursed the technicians once more. Not only had they missed Auir, they'd landed him on a Terran planet, things couldn't get much worse now could they?
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<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 24 Mar 2005, 21:24   #70
mrmao
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Re: [witty thread title]

occ/ at least you aren't in a zerg hive/occ
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 00:02   #71
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

flappy
Do you know Sigil? City in Planescape: Torment?

mrmmao
"Hello."
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 00:22   #72
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Re: [witty thread title]

ooc/ nope, I never played Planescape. And Mrmao, that wouldn't have been worse, I'd have token a few dozen zerglings down with me and died an honorable death! Now I'm stuck on some crappy back-water planet (prolly Earth) with nothing to do! /ooc
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<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 05:18   #73
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Re: [witty thread title]

"Hello, how can I help you?" Mao said
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 17:14   #74
Hewitt
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Re: [witty thread title]

*Due to the awesome power of this thread, one of Hewitt's characters from another thread gets ripped out of the time/space continuum and is displaced here. Which character that is, only god (fluffie ) knows........*
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 17:30   #75
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

mrmao
"Are you... alone?"

In the background on the other side of the line, you hear sinister laughing.

flappyK.
You're in a fantasy-esque medievil city, with fantasy elements. Think big and strange, and then some. All kinds of races etc etc.

The city is dark and quite empty, the only sound you hear coming from the before already mentioned inn thing.

Hewitt
Your filthy, disgusting, ugly and smelly () Spideron form suddenly finds itself... on Hawaii. People are looking at you and it seems there thoughts are certainly not on the positive side.

Even though they don't know what you are, they obviously don't like filthy, disgusting, ugly and smelly Spiderons
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 17:36   #76
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Re: [witty thread title]

"why yes i'm alone, what do you want and who is that laughing?"

Occ/so much for secracy as to hewitt's character
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 17:49   #77
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Re: [witty thread title]

*Looking around at the bullies, little-Bakan sees on the ground next to him, a old piece of pipe about a meter long. Picking it up, he waits for the evil bullies, while wondering what the **** is going on here.*
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 18:27   #78
Crazyboy
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Re: [witty thread title]

Crazy, trying to be quiet, seems to make as much noise as it is possible for a semi-drunk looking for drink in a messy luxery hotel room full of empty bottles, clothes and other mess.
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I admit defeat...

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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 19:34   #79
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

Crazy
Maybe there's water in the bathroom.
Maybe there's still something else left to drink in the mini-bar.

Maybe she's paying, so you could try ringing roomservice.

Chibi Bakan
The lead pipe feels heavier, but then again, you are only chibi now. In the distance, you swear you see a mushroom cloud, but apart from that visual, nothing else seems to be indiciating a major explosion.

The bullets have turned and are now looking at you, lizards walking up and down them, through their clothes, hair and what not. They don't seem to mind.

mrmao
Metal spikes suddenly shoot through the ear end of your telephone. They hit you and penetrate a centimetre into your skull, before retracting. It hurts and as you let the phone fall, the line disconnects.
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 19:39   #80
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Re: [witty thread title]

"Hmm. Mini-bar... not quite empty!"

Crazy grabs the last few drinks from the mini-bar and starts drinking, before stumbling over a not quite empty bag and landing rather heavily on the bed.
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 19:59   #81
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Re: [witty thread title]

"Oww Damit"

Mrmao is already bleeding profusley from the wound to his ear. He hit the button to call his secritary. She picekd up almost imediatley. First he asked for a perimedic then he asked to have someone come in a take apart his phone.
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 20:03   #82
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

mrmao
The secritary didn't pick up. You didn't even phone, it had disappeared. The room had changed too, it looked as if.. you were in some kind of, strange, medievil dungeon...

Crazy
Oh no! It seems as if she's waking up! And she's known to only mix with millionaires, which you certainly are not! She might be angry and kill you! Oh no!
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 20:21   #83
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Re: [witty thread title]

Crazy suddenly starts getting panicky.

He must do something. And quick!

He looked around the room for something. Anything! To help with this predicament.

Then he spotted it! In the medicine cabinet, which was hanging slightly off the wall and had lots of contents split on the floor.

Rushing over, he grabbed the bottle of chlorofome and rushed back to the bed, where he waved the open bottle under Paris Hilton's nose, hoping that the fumes would do their job.
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Quote:
Zen Master Ellis says:
I admit defeat...

Ghetto Master Ellis says:
Heil Crazy!
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 20:33   #84
flapjack
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Re: [witty thread title]

*Flapjack tries to activate the camouflage functions that where in his suit, normally they'd just make him a little harder to see but in this case he focused specifically on trying to make himself seem more human, and making his suit of power armor look more like 1 of the Terran spacesuits, hoping that they wouldn't quite notice straight away*

*Flapjack then headed into the inn, prepping his plasma shielding and his psi blades as he pushed the door open, almost immediatly realising he wasn't on any present day planet*
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IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 25 Mar 2005, 21:01   #85
mrmao
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Re: [witty thread title]

"hmmm,'" Mrmao said as he noticed he was chianed down to a table in the middle of the room. There was lots of tourture equiment. However it was medievil. Someone had sent him back in time. Mrmao knew only one person who could do that. "Fluffie!" mrmao belows.
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Unread 26 Mar 2005, 05:11   #86
Hewitt
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Re: [witty thread title]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluffie
Hewitt
Your filthy, disgusting, ugly and smelly () Spideron form suddenly finds itself... on Hawaii. People are looking at you and it seems there thoughts are certainly not on the positive side.

Even though they don't know what you are, they obviously don't like filthy, disgusting, ugly and smelly Spiderons
ooc: lol

"Wha-what!?"

*The respected trader looks around at the sudden change in scenery and all the hideous scantly clad terrans gwaking at him.*

"What isss thisss place? How did I get here? What in godsss name am I-ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!!!"

*The respected trader suddenly collapses on the beach sand having a spasm attack has his evul, spideron consciousness is forcably replaced by a much stronger presence...

Hewitt's. *

"Woohoo! *Jumps to his multiple feet* Margaritiasss are on me everyone!"

*Runs as fast as he can into the nearest five star hotel waving about large sums of money and several intergalatically accepted credit gold cards.*
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Unread 26 Mar 2005, 12:20   #87
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

Hewitt
Crossing the street to reach said five star hotel, a sound to your right catches your attention. Dare to stop and look to see what it is?

Crazy
Oh no! It's not working!

mrmaro
That bad, bad thought is punished. Your stomach explodes and all kinds of Pokemon enter the room, sing songs about how all your internal organs are going to explode one by one.

flappy
No heads turn to look at you, everything continues as normal.

Near the entrance, there is a man, covered in flames hovering above an iron plate, with holes in it. He doesn't seem to notice you though.
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i want to cover her body with apple pie and eat it off her
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Unread 26 Mar 2005, 12:36   #88
Crazyboy
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Re: [witty thread title]

Crazy panics. He looks around for somewhere to hide, but gives up and just hides under the quilt on the bed.
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Quote:
Zen Master Ellis says:
I admit defeat...

Ghetto Master Ellis says:
Heil Crazy!
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Unread 26 Mar 2005, 16:23   #89
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Re: [witty thread title]

*Flapjack looked around in amazement, this wasn't a normal place, this appeared to be something out of the ancient Terran history books he had seen, people in rags, drinking substances that would never have been deemed drinkable on Auir. A few moments later he noticed that the ball of fire he had first assumed to be illumation, was in fact a human, apparently unphased by the scorching flames around him*

*Stepping over, Flapjack took the pre-caution of activating his plasma shield, he didn't feel like getting burn-wounds on a foreign planet*

"Hello? Are you alright?"
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IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 26 Mar 2005, 16:27   #90
Hewitt
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Re: [witty thread title]

ooc: No, because it's probably a mack truck hurlingly towards me and if I stop it will most likely squash me like a... bug

*Hewitt, running across the street to get to the promised land of margaritas hears a strange sound off to his right. Once he's crossed the street successfully, Hewitt looks right to see what the source of the noise is.*
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Unread 26 Mar 2005, 16:30   #91
Hewitt
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Re: [witty thread title]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluffie
Oh no! It seems as if she's waking up! And she's known to only mix with millionaires, which you certainly are not! She might be angry and kill you! Oh no!
Obviously Fluffie hasn't seen 'the tape'.......
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Unread 26 Mar 2005, 16:40   #92
Crazyboy
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Re: [witty thread title]

the tape?

more like tapes
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Quote:
Zen Master Ellis says:
I admit defeat...

Ghetto Master Ellis says:
Heil Crazy!
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Unread 27 Mar 2005, 02:46   #93
Inspectre
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Re: [witty thread title]

Yo!
I'm back from the dead
What's this, has fluffie made a new thread?

Why, yes he has
A pity Cheese isn't here with my good friend Chaz
Otherwise we could team up
And keep the rap up
Till that crazy Dutchie
always a bit touchy
goes insane, from the pain
that bad rap causes him to feel!
Yeah!

/ooc Nostalgia made me do it. ooc/
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Quote:
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like you in your threads after about a week



ZING!
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Unread 27 Mar 2005, 07:45   #94
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Re: [witty thread title]

SO whats going on here then?
my arms feel like jelly
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Unread 28 Mar 2005, 04:52   #95
Wraith[x]
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Re: [witty thread title]

Wraith suddenly appears, compliments Fluffie on his snappy dress sense and sophisticated yet understated sense of style, then heads off to find a tavern...
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Unread 28 Mar 2005, 11:58   #96
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Re: [witty thread title]

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fluffie
No Dachi
A mighty attack indeed, but not at all effective. Your flying kick only hits air, leaving to you to land and slide to a stop. Behind you, you hear the One-Banana laughing.

"You should have never forgotten about your power."

He laughs some more, louder now.

"Your rule made you careless... And now..."

He simply laughs more. His words held truth though, you had indeed once wielded a power, greater than anything ever seen before at that time, but now... Did you still have it in you?.
The Mighty Monkey King heard the One Banana's words and felt their significence. He had grown complacent in this dominion over the Monkey Kingdom, over-confident that the One Banana would never appear in his lifetime, just as it had not appeared in the countless generations since the Jungle War. But he could feel the Monkey Power within him, he could feel it coursing through veins infused with the blood of his revered Monkey Ancestors. The Monkey King pulled himself to his feet and turned to the Monkey Throne upon its raised platform - his father had built the throne as a symble of his power, but to No Dachi the chair now appeared only as a sign of the decadent decay of the Monkey People. Raising his right arm to the ornately carved seat, the Monkey King suddenly clenched his hand into a fist. The Monkey Throne imploded, crushed from all sides by the incredible, invisible energies of the Monkey Force. No Dachi turned now back to the One Banana, returning his arm to his side. He was not in any combat stance, and merely stood easily, watching his opponent.

"Make your move, Banana."
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That damn'd ill-natur'd baneful Vice,
Was Slave to Prodigality,
That Noble Sin; whilst Luxury
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And odious Pride a Million more.'

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Unread 28 Mar 2005, 14:19   #97
Fluffie
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Re: [witty thread title]

oh man.. so much to dm

No Dachi
"Dog!"

He closes his eyes for a second and the room seems to grow darker. He muttered, almost hummed, a few words you couldn't understand a few words. Looking up again, his eyes open, staring straight into your eyes.

"No! Make yours!"

Crazy
"Who, the ****, is hiding under the quilt."

You hear a sound... Not entirely able to describe or place it, the closest thing you think it resembles is...

A SHOTGUN BEING LOADED?!?!?!!

Inspectre
The roof gets torn of your house. Dare to look up, Mr. Cheeseh Wanna-Be?

Hewitt
A rocket slams into the street you had just been crossing, tearing it a new one. Looking at the source of said missile, you see a giant Battle Mech, state of the art with everything a Battle Mech pilot could dream of. On it, is written: PEST CONTROL, along with thousands of bug-drawings, probably symbolising the amount of kills it has made thus far.

Wraith
Doc Oc comes crashing in from the night sky. He doesn't look sober...

Kal'rek
And behold! They are indeed now made of gelly?!! THE HORROR!

flappy
The man doesn't really respond, he seems busy... Burning.
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Unread 28 Mar 2005, 20:02   #98
flapjack
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Re: [witty thread title]

*Flapjack looked at the man again, assuming he was meditating, Flapjack moved over to the bar, dropping his little illusion from earlier since it didn't seem like he could possibly attract any more unwanted attention then he had so far*

*Thinking about it, Flapjack also realised he didn't actaully attract any attention when he came barging in with a full Terran marine spacesuit, considering the fact this placed appeared to be medievil, Flapjack had somewhat expected an angry mob to instantly form out of nowhere, like they always appeared to do in Terran history, and attempt to burn him on the stake. Realising the stupidity of his toughts, Flapjack wondered if Terrans ever used warp gate technology*
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IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 28 Mar 2005, 21:02   #99
David91
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Re: [witty thread title]

"Ow!" exclaims D91, and stumbles backwards, tripping over a cleverly hidden trooper.
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