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2 Feb 2005, 06:32
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#1
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edited for readability
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: for something...
Posts: 1,207
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What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
I thought it was funny.. feel free to discuss.
WEB-EXCLUSIVE COMMENTARY
By Andy Borowitz
Newsweek
Updated: 12:45 p.m. ET Feb. 1, 2005
Feb. 1 - Under intense pressure from the Bush administration to sell its controversial Al-Jazeera network, the nation of Qatar stunned the television industry today by agreeing to sell the broadcast company to Rupert Murdoch's Fox News Channel.
Television insiders were taken aback that the network whose motto is "We Report. You Decide," would acquire a broadcast entity whose slogan is "Death to the Infidels."
But according to Murdoch, chairman and CEO of Fox parent News Corp., the merger was a natural because, in his words, "We took a look at their format and realized that it was almost identical to ours."
To pay for Bush’s extravagant inauguration, the White House is selling advertising space on the vice president Murdoch added, "If we really roll up our sleeves and make this merger work, we may wind up with the fairest and most balanced network mankind has ever known.”
The media mogul said that changes to Al-Jazeera's programming would be "minimal" at first: "We'll be going through their news copy and every time they call President Bush 'Satan,' we'll take out the words 'President Bush' and replace them with the words 'Ted Kennedy.'"
But viewers can expect much bigger changes to come, as the channel plans to drop Al-Jazeera's most popular program, "This Week in Jihad," in favor of a new show, "Hannity and Hussein."
In the words of a Fox-Jazeera press release, "Hannity and Hussein" will be "a lively political discussion featuring Fox personality Sean Hannity, from the right, and deposed Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein, from his prison cell."
Elsewhere, after Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.) fainted during a speaking appearance in Buffalo, Sen. John Kerry (D-Mass.) wished her a slow and protracted recovery.
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2 Feb 2005, 09:46
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#2
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Lonely analytic
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,390
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Nice but sooo fake but yet not fake
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For real
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2 Feb 2005, 10:17
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#3
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Rawr rawr
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Upside down
Posts: 5,300
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by xtrasyn
Nice but sooo fake but yet not fake
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Did you read your PM? I'm hoping you have something extaordinarilly interesting for me because I'm rather tired of this no-structure way of work.
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"Yay"
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2 Feb 2005, 10:35
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#4
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Lonely analytic
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,390
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Structural Integrity
Did you read your PM? I'm hoping you have something extaordinarilly interesting for me because I'm rather tired of this no-structure way of work.
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I did but I have not finished answering it yet - you will receive an additional extra bonus one later - for free!
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For real
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2 Feb 2005, 11:11
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#5
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Freedom Fanatic
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Doing evil deeds in the name of freedom
Posts: 680
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
My lips may have momentarily quivered into something resembling a smirk, well done QD, C+
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The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil and no good, nothing but blind pitiless indifference.
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2 Feb 2005, 11:49
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#6
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Jungle King
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottingham
Posts: 123
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6894936/site/newsweek
why copy and paste a whole article, when you can just paste a link
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when life gives you lemons; you clone those lemons, and make super lemons
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2 Feb 2005, 12:37
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#7
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Why the "3" in "own3d"??
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If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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2 Feb 2005, 12:49
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#8
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Rawr rawr
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Upside down
Posts: 5,300
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Why the "3" in "own3d"??
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B'cause it's l33t.
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"Yay"
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2 Feb 2005, 13:45
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#9
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
the thing is that im still not sure if you actually think al-jazeera is a western hating news channel or not...
i didnt smile either
d-
:-((((
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2 Feb 2005, 22:32
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#10
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Fake.
Aljazeera doesn't have a programme called "This week in Jihad".
Fact.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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2 Feb 2005, 22:42
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#11
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
I think it was 'a spoof.'
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2 Feb 2005, 23:09
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#12
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
I was just trying to point out how fake it is since I've got the bleeding channel on my Sky Digital.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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2 Feb 2005, 23:10
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#13
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
I was just trying to point out how fake it is since I've got the bleeding channel on my Sky Digital.
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Do you not have to pay for it?
Does this mean you're in al-Qaeda?
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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2 Feb 2005, 23:14
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#14
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
Fake.
Aljazeera doesn't have a programme called "This week in Jihad".
Fact.
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DAMN! We wuz duped...
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2 Feb 2005, 23:21
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#15
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Ajaj Kapten!
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Sweden
Posts: 638
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
the thing is that im still not sure if you actually think al-jazeera is a western hating news channel or not...
i didnt smile either
d-
:-((((
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Aparently he does.
Wich is a tad scary.
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Godwin's Law prov. [Usenet] "As a Usenet discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one." There is a tradition in many groups that, once this occurs, that thread is over, and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost whatever argument was in progress. Godwin's Law thus practically guarantees the existence of an upper bound on thread length in those groups. However there is also a widely- recognized codicil that any intentional triggering of Godwin's Law in order to invoke its thread-ending effects will be unsuccessful.
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2 Feb 2005, 23:22
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#16
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Do you not have to pay for it?
Does this mean you're in al-Qaeda?
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No.
No.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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3 Feb 2005, 05:54
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#17
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edited for readability
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: for something...
Posts: 1,207
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
No, i think that Al-Jezera caters to its audience a bit too well. And lets face it, there arnt a whole lot of people in the middle east that are giving praise to the United states, so it kind goes a long with the whole things.
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3 Feb 2005, 09:25
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#18
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
What good will having democratic elections be then?
"Hay guys, turns out we were right all along they really do ****ing hate us and now they want us out of their country what should we do?"
"Well we could call the new guy in charge a dictator, support him in his genocidal rampages, provide him with the weapons to kill his own people and then invade claiming we're here to save the people"
"...........hmmmm"
"What?"
"Nothing, I've just got the strangest feeling of deja-vu."
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Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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3 Feb 2005, 12:38
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#19
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Lonely analytic
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,390
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qdeathstar
No, i think that Al-Jezera caters to its audience a bit too well. And lets face it, there arnt a whole lot of people in the middle east that are giving praise to the United states, so it kind goes a long with the whole things.
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Please, tell me you are gravely underaged or have a mental handicap.
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3 Feb 2005, 14:28
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#20
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edited for readability
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: for something...
Posts: 1,207
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
tell me why thats not an accurate picture.
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3 Feb 2005, 14:47
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#21
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
because al jazeera is primarily made up of EX BBC/ Ex CNN reporters and journalists who became dissolusioned with the way in which the press in the west is biased towards the west. Al jazeera has become popular because it tends to report things a bit more factually and with less spin.
Obviously it will have a slightly pro arab slant but its quite good. Far far far far x 1000000 than fox is or ever will be.
Anyone who thinks fox news is 'fair and balanced' wouldnt understand the meaning of the two words....
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3 Feb 2005, 15:24
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#22
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
wow one right leaning news organization that cares more about trashing its competitors than 'facts' takes over another right-leaning news organization that cares more about trashing its competitors than 'facts'
the only noticeable difference would be they would probably stop trashing each other.
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3 Feb 2005, 16:30
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#23
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
Anyone who thinks fox news is 'fair and balanced' wouldnt understand the meaning of the two words....
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No, they understand the meanings of the words well enough. They're just liars.
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3 Feb 2005, 17:21
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#24
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Damn Dog
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 1,249
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
that wasnt funny at all, you have shit opinions.
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the tolling gang
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3 Feb 2005, 17:41
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#25
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Lonely analytic
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 2,390
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Re: What if Fox News own3d Al-Jazeera
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_dastardley_chihuahua
that wasnt funny at all, you have shit opinions.
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Yes but have you smelled them yet
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