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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 21:43   #1
Iniluki
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A funny joke

Why did the baker have brown fingers?

He needed a poo.

Get it, kneaded, needed...
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 21:44   #2
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Re: A funny joke

No I don't get it, can you explain it again. Thanks.
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 21:45   #3
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Re: A funny joke

Right, it's because kneaded (the action bakers do to make bread rise) is phonetically like needed (an urgent desire).
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 21:48   #4
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iniluki
Right, it's because kneaded (the action bakers do to make bread rise) is phonetically like needed (an urgent desire).
I thought you were dead
Or Belgian
Or worse

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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 21:51   #5
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Re: A funny joke

Oh I pissed off. Remembered this place existed and decided to see what it's like. I like it that I am currently an unknown quantity at this point.

The rollover alt text containing a snippet of the thread is awful though. I shall complain to the management, whoever that is.
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 21:51   #6
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iniluki
Right, it's because kneaded (the action bakers do to make bread rise) is phonetically like needed (an urgent desire).
Okay so let's do this logically so that way maybe I can understand how this is funny.

Let's say object A were the baker, and let's call the poo object B, and the action of needing action C and then kneading will be action D. So the humor then is concept E. Would the following statement then be true:

The difference between a duck is that one leg is the same.

?

Please explain. Thank you.
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 21:53   #7
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Re: A funny joke

No, ducks aren't funny.
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 22:47   #8
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iniluki
No, ducks aren't funny.
AH! I get it! OMGROFL Man, that is humour. Phew, I need to take a break now.
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 22:56   #9
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Re: A funny joke

How do mathematicians relieve themselves of constipation?....

They work it out with a pencil!
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 23:02   #10
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arachnidman
How do mathematicians relieve themselves of constipation?....

They work it out with a pencil!
Sick. And the relationship between a mathematician and a pencil is tenuous. You're pushing it buster!
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 23:31   #11
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Re: A funny joke

Did you hear about the two antennas that got married?

Tbh the wedding was simply shite. Terrible decorations, ceremony just went on, boring as hell.

But the reception was great.
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 23:39   #12
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Re: A funny joke

Acropolis, you have deviated from the "faeces" theme.....

or has he?
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 23:45   #13
Iniluki
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Flavius
I remember you.

Sadly you don't remember me.


Or maybe that's a good thing.


Oh, who cares!
I do remember you. You're the one that had botchulism aren't you?
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Unread 15 Sep 2005, 23:48   #14
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arachnidman
Acropolis, you have deviated from the "faeces" theme.....

or has he?
i said 'shite'



old skool fecal joke:

A young girl goes to her father and says, "Dad, can I borrow the car to go to a party tonight?"

He leers at her and says, "Sure, but you have to suck my dick first."

Well, the girl really wants to go to this party, so reluctantly she pulls down his zipper and begins sucking. After a while, she looks up at him and says: "Dad, your dick tastes like shit!"

"Oh damn, that's right, your brother already has the car tonight."

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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 00:41   #15
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Re: A funny joke

Ini, Idi, idler
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 00:44   #16
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
i said 'shite'



old skool fecal joke:

A young girl goes to her father and says, "Dad, can I go to the prom?"

He leers at her and says, "Sure, but you have to suck my dick first."

Well, the girl really wants to go to the prom, so reluctantly she pulls down his zipper and begins sucking. After a while, she looks up at him and says: "Dad, your dick tastes like shit!"

"Oh damn, that's right, your brother already has the car tonight."
shouldn't she be asking to borrow the car too?
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 00:55   #17
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Re: A funny joke

This whole thread made put me in a state of hopeless despair. Off to tap the keg.
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Quote:
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Gay ducks only do it because it impresses their peers.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 01:04   #18
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Re: A funny joke

Rumours abound this evening that Yahwe had a little shit before going to bed.
























In an apparently unrelated incident, doctors at nearby St. Catherine's hospice reported that a young man, identified only as 'Stew' had been admitted with severe anal trauma and would be keeping him under observation until the stitches in his anus healed.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 01:15   #19
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Re: A funny joke

it was mm who fancied stew.

my comment was that he was unfanciable because he was made of twigs.

he seems to have adopted that epitaph as his custom title.

which is nice
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 13:13   #20
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Exclamation Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
it was mm who fancied stew.
It didn't stop you from grabbing his arse.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 13:14   #21
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
It didn't stop you from grabbing his arse.
I'm sort of glad in a way that no-one likes me enough to invite me to any of these GD meets.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 13:18   #22
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Exclamation Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arachnidman
I'm sort of glad in a way that no-one likes me enough to invite me to any of these GD meets.
The idea that meets are events where barely supressed homoerotic desire intermingles with excessive quantities of alcohol is simply false. Most of the offers of blowjobs and lunges for crotches are done at the very end of the evening and for the most part people are well behaved.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 13:26   #23
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Exclamation Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nantoz
Now no one will come to the next meeting. They won't have anything to look forward to...
Don't be so shy, Ingy. You know I'd always make an exception for you.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 13:29   #24
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
The idea that meets are events where barely supressed homoerotic desire intermingles with excessive quantities of alcohol is simply false. Most of the offers of blowjobs and lunges for crotches are done at the very end of the evening and for the most part people are well behaved.
And they are usually turned down too...
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yeh so Plastic Brilliance is now known as FOXYSTOAT - Come on by and check it out!
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 13:32   #25
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Exclamation Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
And they are usually turned down too...
Usually?
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 13:46   #26
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Re: A funny joke

Anyone remember Raggety from the Rupert The Bear stories?

I only mention it because like Stew, he was made of twigs
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 13:50   #27
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Exclamation Re: A funny joke

I did a brief physical examination of Stew and I can conclusively state that what I felt was most certainly not made of twigs.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 15:52   #28
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Re: A funny joke

Dear Sirs,

The comments made by the individual Marilyn Manson are in no way endorsed by Yahwe Corp. Our package holidays and weekend away breaks are arranged to the highest standard for all involved (which is pretty bloody high to them given they come from the north). Our consistent provision of high quality entertainment is something upon which this company prides itself (and not one of the bastards was grateful for it).

Any rumors of sexual harrassment have been investigated fully by our chairman and a conclusive report was published. I refer you to page 28 paragraph 7 of said report which concludes "I certainly didn't grab stews arse you pissed lanky northerner".

Thank You.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 15:55   #29
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1-X
shouldn't she be asking to borrow the car too?
you know it's pretty hard to get confused mid joke and forget or ruin the punchline when only posting on the internet.

and only cut/pasting the joke.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 16:17   #30
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Iniluki
Why did the baker have brown fingers?

He needed a poo.

Get it, kneaded, needed...
Shouldn't it of been

Why did the baker have brown fingers?

He kneaded a poo.
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 17:26   #31
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Minty
Shouldn't it of been

Why did the baker have brown fingers?

He kneaded a poo.
i don't think that joke was meant to be written out at all; in general jokes based on homophone double entendre lose out when written out.

on the other hand, i've been recently seeing jokes (more and more) that couldn't be told outside of the internet (or would be very difficult).
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 17:39   #32
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
i don't think that joke was meant to be written out at all; in general jokes based on homophone double entendre lose out when written out.

on the other hand, i've been recently seeing jokes (more and more) that couldn't be told outside of the internet (or would be very difficult).
Couldn't agree more.

I still don't mind seeing these jokes though, considering this is all text based communication!
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 19:39   #33
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Minty
Shouldn't it of been
How awfully common
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Unread 16 Sep 2005, 19:54   #34
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Re: A funny joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by SYMM
How awfully common
Shouldn't it HAVE been

I'm from Essex, innit
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