The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

[flapjack]

*flapjack heads out into the garden, tip-toeing through the Tulips and into the maze, where he begins to wander around and not fall into any pits, yet*

[AcidK]

H'of course, your manijmentship...

*AcidK quickly fixes a Joybuzzer for PK, before rubbing his back a little with his ten tails.*

Ack, what I'd give for a bar maid...

[okiN]

*okiN stops marching. He plucks the small squig off his head, sets it gently on the floor and gives it a little nudge, advising it to move along and enjoy its freedom. He then turns to AcidK* "I should think that a barmaidsquig would be in order. Obviously you'd have to pay him/her/it proper wages in accordance with The New Declaration Of Squigs' Rights (Working Title), which will be released shortly." *okiN speaks in a very convincing tone, and one can practically hear him pronounce the capital letters in "The New Declaration Of Squigs' Rights (Working Title)" quite perfectly, and can do nothing but marvel at his verbal acrobatics*

[AcidK]

okiN... do you see a Barmaid Squig behind my bar? No... And there are a many good reason for it too.

*AcidK quickly morphs a chair from the ground beneath him and sits down.*

They get in the way, they don't know as many mixtures or the names of my highly deadly drinks... plus the last one drank a bottle of Myst Breaker, copying my act... It took us three days to clean the walls and glasses after that, not to mention my payment to the Barmaid Squig's Barmaid Squig family, a good four thousand each componsation after deducting a good fifteen million shraanian credits worth of highly dangerous and explosive substance.

*AcidK sighed and arched his back a little before relaxing again.*

It was within a cooled fridge-vault that I use for Fireblog IV, Myst Breaker and Pepsi, seeing as they are the most deadliest substances here... but she managed to get a hold of a bottle, the gods only know how.

[okiN]

"Well, yes, but surely if you allocated a reasonable portion of the budget to training..." *okiN arches his eyebrows in a meaningful manner*

[AcidK]

You want your spinal cords to be a part of the Bar decoration? I hardly give a damn for squigs, I see them as I see kylithium, a substance I can modify into a weapon...

*AcidK stood up again, now he was at his full height and his eyes glowing red.*

And I'd keep your mouth very tightly shut if I were you.

[okiN]

"Now, now, my good man, no need to get so excited. I thought we were having a reasonable discussion here." *okiN begins to slowly back away from the bar*

[AcidK]

*AcidK pulls out a metal baseball bat from under the bar, complete with bloodstains dried over the years.*

No, you dared argue with me...

*AcidK walks through the bar, his mass turning into a spirit form before closing back up in front of the bar as AcidK's solid self.*

[okiN]

"'Argue' is a pretty big word, I wouldn't go as far as to say I was arguing... oh, bugrit." *okiN dissolves into a puddle of thick, reddish-brown liquid on the floor. The puddle bubbles for a few seconds, lets off some foul-stenched vapors and rises up from the floor. Slowly, it begins to take form. First, it grows some horribly melted, misshaped legs and props itself up on them. It sprouts a pair of stubbly, thin arms that end in three spindly fingers. It changes its colour to a more greenish hue, then starts working on all the details. The mass grows a pair of eyes, a mouth, a couple of nostrils and something resembling a pair of ears. It then moulds its arms and legs to their proper proportions and finishes its transformation by adding the rough, wart-riddled and pus-covered skin and covering its nether regions with a pair of pink boxer shorts with yellow dots. Its metamorphosis complete, the creature reveals itself to be none other than... A SHAPESHIFTINGCONSPIRATORSQUIG!!! It stretches up to its full height of 1.273 metres and takes a deep breath* "Right." *The squig begins to run away from the bar in huge, leaping bounds and at this precise moment okiN, bound and gagged with duct tape, breaks out of the barroom's broom closet*

[AcidK]

*AcidK watches the metamorphis, every now and then he looked at his watch. When the squig darted away, AcidK charged after it, grabbing his net and cage, as well as grabbing a bottle of myst breaker during his run.*

I'll catch you, squig...

*AcidK chases all the way towards the outsides of the HrH, but comes to a steady halt as the squig runs into the Rusty Destroyer.*

... I'm not suicidal just yet... or... maybe I am...

*AcidK watched the squig get to the side of the Destroyer, was about to climb in before a dart landed within his pink boxers with yellow dots. Another dart hit near enough the same area, but on another side of the squig. AcidK, some distance away smiled as he raised an arm, his other grabbing a part of it and pulling out what looked like a cylander, with many darts placed in and two holes. On one side it read 'Warning: Emotion Darts Can Cause Unknown Effects', next to that read 'Bravery'.*

Emotion Tranqs... who could resist?

*The squig lowered itself from the entry plank of the Destroyer and turned to face AcidK, running suddenly towards him before melting and changing shape. AcidK suddenly grabbed the cage and scooped the squig's liquid presence up, closing the side and pressing a button, sealing all known air holes with energy to prevent it escaping.*

I have caught you... and you are gunna enjoy the experiments I have lined up for you...

*After this, AcidK trotted back to the bar, a wide grin forming on his face and an enclosed cage by his side, a squig within changing from shape to shape, simply to get out.*

[okiN]

*okiN rolls and wriggles along the bar floor, letting out a few muffles cries and occasionally letting off some steam by slamming his head into the floor*

[Verric]

"The people are all rather odd here," Verric says apologetically to Bob.

[AcidK]

*AcidK passed Verric on his way to the bar, nodded at where Bob would be and gave a grin.*

Even Verric here...

*AcidK strode through the bar, again his form simply flowing through it, and turned, placed his hands on the counter and smiled.*

[flapjack]

*flapjack continued through the maze*

[Planetkiller II]

*After buzzing about a little due to drinking his Joybuzzer, PK wanders off in the general direction of the Ghardun, to watch flapjack wander the maze, which due to an odd singularity seems to have trapped him into going round in circles without noticing.*

[flapjack]

*After a while of walking, flapjack notices the same large pit he saw earlier, a few hours earlier*

"Hmm, I appear to be either going or circles, or I inadvertly tripped a teleporter."

*flapjack takes out a compass and turns towards the center of the maze*

"Yep, circles. Well, time to take the shortcut."

*flapjack takes out a shovel of moving things and begins to shovel his way to the center of the maze*

*Suddenly a man falls trough the door. When he hits the ground he passes out. Immediatly he jumps on his feet again and screams:*

"Where is everybody!?!?"

*The man then comes to rest and takes of his hat which had been in front of his eyes. He sees two man and Bob staring at him.*

"Hi, I'm Vao."

[Wraith[x]]

Wraith hurries through the side door of the bar, calls back over his shoulder "For the last time, I DON'T want a 100% double glazed outhouse!" and slams the door into the Doortodoorsalesmansquig. He glances through the window next to the door, and watches in satisfaction as the pesky squig's trajectory sends him arcing into a nearby fountain.

Wraith strolls over to the bar and notices AcidK is nowhere to be seen. "Hmmm, that's odd... I could just mix myself up a little something..... But I'd better not. Don't wanna get on the wrong side of him already..." Instead, Wraith sits on the nearest barstool and glances around the bar, waving to Vao as he introduces himself.

[AcidK]

*AcidK suddenly appears behind wraith as he is turned to wave at Vao, leaning forward so when Wraith turned he was right there.*

Yes, Mr. wraith? What's yur poison today? We have Pespsi, fireblog IV and some Myst Breaker... somewhere...

[Wraith[x]]

Wraith falls of his seat in chock, landing on a passing mole. "Ah, there you are, AcidK," he says, picking himself up, dusting off the mole and slinging it with the utmost care and consideration out of the window, where it bounces off a passing Squig's head. "Nothing with too much... kick, not a this time. Just a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, if you please."

Wraith sits himself back on a stool a little further away from AcidK, and waits for his drinkle.

[AcidK]

*AcidK, with speed and care, suddenly mixes the PGGB and places it in front of Wratih.*

One Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, not the usual AcidK... kick and more of the PGGB taste and effectiveness... Mr. Wraith.

[Wraith[x]]

"Thankee, Mr AcidK" Wraith takes the proffered drink and taakes a large gulp from it.

"So, anthing interesting been happening round here?"

[AcidK]

Well, I caught a Shapeshiftingconspiritor Squig not long ago, tried to cause hassle, you know how it is. Befreing a Beserkmystbreaker Squig no problem... which never happens with anyone. Other than that, Flapjack's digging in a circle within the HrH Maze... and I think Verric's himself...

[Wraith[x]]

"Ahhhh, it's good to be back. Is my old room still available, number 42?"

[AcidK]

It should be still in perfect condition, however you may find a few of my GeneticmishaphideinroomBOO Squigs in there...

[Wraith[x]]

"They wouldn't have anything to do with your Hexperiments on that entire floor would they?"

[AcidK]

They might...

[Planetkiller II]

"Ah, Mr. Wraith, so nice to see you back here in one piece. There is the small matter of your room's cost not being paid when you left. This leads me to the conclusion that we need to h'extricate some payment from you. Thus, Bert and Ernie here..."

*Gestures to a pair of H'imprengator Squigs*

"Will be having a chat with you until some funds are produced. I trust this is not a problem? And Mr. AcidK, if you h'experiments have gotten loose again, you can fumigate them yourself this time. I don't know how many problems they caused last time."

[AcidK]

To which I have paid for, h'with h'extra I might add...

*AcidK pulls out a small notepad.*

Lets see what they did last time...

1. Explosion of Wraith's bed and bed belongings - replaced
2. H'intimidation of Satan Squig's socks - Componsation paid for
3. H'explosion of the karioky machine - Replaced
4. H'intimidation of the Smiley Band - Still in H'operation and H'will remain that way
5. Running around the Dunjuun scaring h'inmantes with wooing sounds - H'experiments still not found

[Gryffin]

*The door from the HrH H'restaurant bursts open, and a small stampede of live reallytastywithsalsasquiqs charge through into the lobby, yelling loudly, jumping on the furniture, stealing things from shelves, and generally making a nuisence of themselves. A couple even nearly run into the bar, but then stop with a sudden premonition, and simply leg it for the door. A white hatted Gryffin bowls out of the restaurant, screaming curses at the errant squiqs and swinging a fryingpansquiq at them with deadly accuracy, though why he is using that rather than the plasma rifle slung over one shoulder is anyone's guess. He chases the last one out of the front doors, still cursing the air blue, when he realises everyone in the lobby is staring at him, and he grins nervously, and laughs, but not very convincingly.*

"Erm...Hello, everyone, t'is just me, your friendly chef, hehe...Crafty fellows, those squiqs, my yes, hehehe...."

[Planetkiller II]

"Ah, excellent. It's about time we had some good cooking around here. You know, the dinner's actually been talking back since you disappeared Mr. Gryffin."

[Lady Hawk]

There is a scream..............

followed by a large blood curdling roar................

then another scream

followed by the sound of ripping clothes

then another scream

the the sound of barefooted running, the doors to the HrH fly open as one partially clad, semi naked LH full of scars and blood - holding a silver spoon and a half eaten boiled egg, comes hurtling thru the main lobby of the HrH.

She is being pursued by the 15 foot tall with black and brown fur, also has razor sharp Lady Hawk clothes tearing (tm) claws. it has 2 eyes and a mouth full of fangs. It also has 2 arms and 2 legs. Lives in caves in the mountains in the National Happy Roid Hotel Reserve and does not like to be hunted, especially during squig hunting season. Has razor-sharp Lady Hawk clothes tearing (tm) claws, a really nasty bite, and can also breathe fire. Can only be killed by a magical yodelling toothpick called Bob. also called the SATAN Squig.

Hello all....................SCREEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMM RIPPPPPPPPP bye all !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LH runs off into the vast halls of the HrH

[AcidK]

*AcidK looks at Lady Hawk run in, shed of half her clothing, and then run out screaming, waving a silver spoon, AcidK could only guess what the boiled egg was for. AcidK turned to Planetkiller...*

Shall I call my h'experiments to h'inidate the Satan Squig sir, or shall they remain to just do it to it's socks?

*AcidK then turned to Gryffin, only bothering to look his way at that exact second.*

You need a drink, sir? One to... ahem... clam the nerves, so to speak?

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin watches LH and the Satan Squiq run through screaming, and smiles, knowing that he may be mad, but he's not alone in it. He vaguely wonders where Bob has gone, when he realises he is achually being spoken to.*

"Aha, yes, please, Acidk, if you would be so kind. Guiness, a pint of, thank you. And I shall endevour to make the meals keep their smart comments to themselves from now on, Mr. PK."

[AcidK]

*AcidK slowly pours a pint of guiness, a drink he would never rush, and places it besides Gryffin.*

A perfect pint... instead of a charge, would you make me a dish of Mystbreakersquig Suprise?

[Wraith[x]]

"Uh, yes, payment... well, there's a funny story about that... What happend was... OH MY GOD! LOOK BEHIND YOU A THREEHEADEDMONKEYSQUIG!!

Wraith uses the distraction of the Threeheadedmonkeysquig to quickly duck down behind the nearest bar stool, hiding as best he can behind the narrow leg of the stool...

[AcidK]

*AcidK looks up slightly and then down... then down further to see wraith trying to hide underneath a rather thin barstool.*

[Planetkiller II]

"There's no Threeheadedmonkey Squigs inside the hotel Mr. Wraith, even you should know... damn, where did he go. Release the Bloodhound Squigs!"

*The Bloodhound Squigs are released.*

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin sees the Bloodhoundsquiqs coming at him, screams slightly, and launches himself into the air. Then he realises he has left the pint behind, screams in proper anguish, drops down, picks it up at the bottom of a swoop just before the Bloodhoundsquiqs knock the table over, and ends up drinking it slowly, hovering above the bar, his wings beating rythmically to keep him up. Miraculously, he didn't spill a drop.*

"H'of course, Mr. Acidk, I would be honoured to. But can I wait until this minor fracas is over with?"

[AcidK]

*AcidK watched as the Bloodhound Squigs began to knock tables over. AcidK didn't seem to notice, but as soon as a Bloodhound Squig so much as touched the bar, they were suddenly launched away at incredible speed, AcidK still looking unnoticing.*

[Planetkiller II]

*One of the Bloodhound Squigs finds Wraith cowering behind his stool, and taps him lightly on the shoulder with a long, sharp claw, whilst grinning profusely.*

ooc// btw, the HrH Webby Forum needs people to come back too. There's basically no one there currently. //ooc

[Wraith[x]]

Wraith shuts his eyes tightly, refusing to turn round.
"If I can't see him, He can't see Me!"

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin watches Wraith crouch behind a chair, close his eyes, and dissappear. This is slightly shocking, as Gryffin didn't know Wraith could do that, and he nearly chokes on the drink he happened to be taking at the time. Gryffin decides to test if Wraith is still there, and so throws a peanut at him.*

[Planetkiller II]

*One of the Bloodhound Squigs sees the spinning peanut, and jumps at it, trying to eat it in mid air, flying in the general direction of behind the stool.*

[AcidK]

*AcidK feels a sudden surge in the visual word, Wraith disappeared under the stool. AcidK looked down, many of his strange eyesights still saw Wraith whilst some did not, his normal vision of light and colour was one of them. AcidK picked up the stool from where Wraith was and began to test if Wraith was there, moving it from side to side so the bootom ends of the feet tapped Wraith's kidneys.*

[flapjack]

Flapjack suddenly burst in through the back door, a large h'angry h'impregnator squig with a large club chasing directly behind him

"I found the center, so did he" Flapjack yelled as he rushed past the bar, crushing several chairs as the club landed on them. Flapjack quickly ran up the winding straight staircase, stopping only at the shrines and headed for his room. Behind him Flapjack heard several loud noices, indicating that the h'angry h'impregnator squig had not stopped at the shrines and would most likely not be able to continue the chase

[Planetkiller II]

*PK continues to watch the antics of the Bloodhound Squigs, pausing only to call down the wrath of Lady Sarah on the hapless H'impregnator Squig in the form of a large lightning bolt that phased through the room without causing damage, then blasting the beast into small, charred pieces.*

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin nods at the impressiveness of the lightning bolt that just zinged past his ear at an impressive speed and power.*

"Hmmm. I'm glad I never questioned why you have to stop at the shrines."

[AcidK]

Indeed, now I've been praying double normal amount latly... must be time to pray triple when I head to my rooms...

[David91]

"Haha! I have arrived!"

*Creatior, half-werewolf (the wolf half), Shifter of Webbies and Not Particularly Good With Numbers, formerly known as David(91), H'official HrH Smilie H'army Commander who naively thought that roleplaying smilies were a good idea - has returned.*

"PHW0AR!"