Planetarion Forums - The star ship Idiot

26 Nov 2002, 03:32

oh probably... tho i i don't know how long it will keep him down.
(all this is coming from external hidden speakers)
*continues to pound after tj and after catching up compleatly unloads his clip of tranqs(50 darts) into tj. tj collapses on the floor complete with muscle spasms*
i wouldn't suggest taking off your gas masks yet

Oysia · 26 Nov 2002, 03:34

All right. *sends one more tranq into TJ before walking off, begins to look for a phone and a phone book, so she can call the funny farm*

26 Nov 2002, 03:38

ooc- yay the funny farm!! send him to the funny farm (funny farm = mental institute)

Oysia · 26 Nov 2002, 05:45

*finally locates a phone (complete with phone book), dials the local funny farm, and sits waiting for an answer* Here we go. *half an hour later, Oysia realizes that there is no ringing noise, and that the phone is a toy*

ToeJam · 26 Nov 2002, 16:11

Toe Jam turns as the 1st tranq dart hits him. hemoves swiftly nd is able to avoid a few dozen more but eventually his luck runs out and more darts find there mark.

NO NO NO MRE DARTS,. THE TWEETYS DONT YOU SEE THE TWEETYS.. THATS WAHT THEY WANT..WE FIGHT EACH OTHER AND TEY CONTINUE TO GROW NO MOOOOOORRRREEE AAAAAAAAAAHHHH.

He collapses to the floor..his muscles spasm.. alreayd having been hit by prior tranq darts and the special herbs the gypsies gave him.take an effect. his system almost immediatly commences to fight of the tranqualizer... in a short span of time he starts to stir.. his muscles twitch and he opens his eyes his vision is as if he was looking thru a long dark tunnel.

Finally he gains control of his muscle and mind.. he see's that Oysia sems to be trying to talk to someone on a toy phone. taking advantage that no one is watching him. he rises silently and swftly takes the few steps to Oysia. with a fast movement he grabs the tranq gun and fires a dart at Oysia. watching as it hits behind the neck.

Toe Jam turns and runs off to a secluded part of the ship that no one knows . even the computer does not have any sensors in that area it also shielded from scans..

Toe Jam now needs a new way to get rid of the Tweetys.
the Tweetys must be stopped..

26 Nov 2002, 16:27

well looks like i have to find him... AK he shot Oysia thats it he has pissed me off for the last time. i'm glad one of those darts put a tracker in him
*looks at his hud with a map of the ship and a yellow blinking dot. runs after toe jam*

Oysia · 27 Nov 2002, 03:24

*rubs neck sleepily, feels dart* Owww. *pulls dart out, wobbles to feet and continues search for a phone* Must... call... somebody... *falls down in the middle of the hall, completely unconscious*

27 Nov 2002, 04:29

*catches up to toejams blinking light*
you dumbass stop trying to kill the evil but innocent tweetys they haven't done anything to me or to you exept fly around your head. and if you don't stop i will have to load actual ammo not just tranqs. ok
*loads a large battery like thing into a slot in the apbfg*
this is a shock core its like a laser but much more fun you can balst a large hole in the bulkhead so don't try anything

ToeJam · 27 Nov 2002, 04:43

BNo they are not innocent dont you see they are evil.. evil tweetys .. they will grow and when they are big enough they will take over the ship..

we must destroy them .. they must be killed or at least cooked in alight lemon sauce with a good white wine and perhaps a little scalloped potates on the side..

Toe Jam realizes that Mad Cat does not understand or perhaps the Tweetys have taken him over.

Taking 2 fast steps Toe Jam leaps into the shute he commences a slip and slide thru the inner parts of the ship. passing thru an electrical grid TOe Jam is temporarily hit by high votlage he hears a fissle and slightly burnt.. the tracking mechanism recieves a massive overload and is destroyed in the process.

Toe Jam continues to slide hru the shut and to places unknown on the ship.

Oysia · 27 Nov 2002, 04:47

*rouses briefly, points to the galley* There's lemon's and white wine, and potatoes in there. *collapses back on the floor*

27 Nov 2002, 18:24

*sends a prob in after toejam*
keep with him don't let him get away and avoid the power grid
*goes off somewear*

Oysia · 27 Nov 2002, 18:30

*shakes, gets up, heads towards the kitchen, grabs all the ingredients for TJ's Tweety dish, and sends them down the shaft* Here y'go!

28 Nov 2002, 05:45

*wo2 sees Oysia, who to him, seems a bit woozy still.*

*digs in a pouch* hmm magic mushroom....moldy cheese... Ah-ha here it is Smelling salts.

*wo2 mix's it into a drink and hands it to Oysia.*

Here drink this.

J-Kama-Ka-C · 28 Nov 2002, 23:52

*The captain finally emerges at a point of notible signifigance... namely the engine room.

*He begins playing around with the injection coils and the relay convertors and all the usually stuff, that Midi usually prevents him from doing when he's arround.

Oysia · 29 Nov 2002, 03:09

*takes the drink and chugs it back* Thanks wo2. That helped. *shakes head, and slides after the ingredients*

1 Dec 2002, 14:02

THE END

Evil_Ginge · 1 Dec 2002, 16:02

:: walks down to the canteen

"well gimmie a drink"

3 Dec 2002, 04:14

Oh sure I got plenty more. Will that be with or without Magic Mushrooms?

ToeJam · 3 Dec 2002, 08:19

Toe Jam finnaly comes to the end of the chute. he tumbles does 2 360 turns and falls flat on his face..

oOOOOOWWWWW dam Tweeety.. thats it your mine now all mine.. no one can find us here.

as he turns he hears something. he looks at the chute and again is hit strraight in the face..
opening the care package he notices that he now has all the ingredients for his Tweety in lemon sauce..

OK now to business.. He locks all the exits except one , placing double mechanical locks and then welding all the doors including the chute..

Placing the ingredients on the floor ,Toe Jam removes a mini-plasma bomb he had saved for a special occasion.
he opens all the ingredients and places them on top of a box , one side of the box is open.
placing the bomb under the box he activates it for a 10 second delay.
immediatly he runs out the door and locks it, he is able to take 30 more steps before the bomb explodes. the door comes of the hinges and flys toward him. he veers left in the passage and watches the door fly by.. but following it is a major plasma fireball.
Toe jam runs he turns and finds himself at what appears to be a dead end.
looking around frantically he sees a small doggie door, crawling down on all fours he pushes his way past the doggie door to find himself in a large room fully decorated in roman style. including one of the largest hot tubs he has ever seen.

Toe Jam immediatley dives into the hot tub to find out that the water is scented with a sweet perfume.. to his surprise 2 excuisite young females enter the room, they are barely dressed and leaving almost nothing to the imagination.
they approach Toe Jam and inform him that they are here for his pleasure both physically and mentally..

Toe Jam relaxes now that the Tweety are gone ,, he deserves a good break..

Evil_Ginge · 3 Dec 2002, 09:29

"with"

3 Dec 2002, 16:18

*the probe flys into the room after toejam*
oh my this i do NOT want to see
*detonates the probe in one of the corners sending little bits of shrapnel into the wall and floor but not far enough to do any harm*
ok then i guess i can get out of this thing

7 Dec 2002, 06:01

*wo2 takes out several large contains and starts to mix and match.*

Alright 3 shroom's.........few of these, couple of thoses..... *hes starts to throw ingredeants over his shoulde and they land neatly in the cup.*

*he shakes it up and gives it to ginge*

Here you are sir your Magic Mushroom Speicial.

Gryffin · 7 Dec 2002, 22:28

*Gryffin sidles over to wo2 and gives him a nudge.*

"Can I have one too? I'm bored, see."

Evil_Ginge · 7 Dec 2002, 22:38

*Ginge sips the drink and nods in approval (remember is till have taht chip in my head, yes a computer microchip that allows me to control almost all the ships systems, those not contrlled by wo2 that is, not a potatoe one) and goes off to sit in the corner, starting to giggle

7 Dec 2002, 23:49

*wo2 looks at Gryffin and starts to mix another one.*

Here you are sir.

Gryffin · 11 Dec 2002, 23:34

*Gryffin takes the drink, mixes it with his orange juice, drinks it, and prompt collapses into a happy looking unconcious state with a silly grin on his face. Occasionally he giggles in his sleep.*

QazokRouge5 · 22 Dec 2002, 01:38

Qaozk zoomss in on his battleship, throws a paper-ball at J-Ka-Kama-C and zooms away laughing.

J-Kama-Ka-C · 22 Dec 2002, 02:40

*Picks up the paper ball and with a large black crayon, draws two eyes and a smilie face on it, he places it in the helm's chair and begins barking orders to it

ToeJam · 3 Apr 2003, 22:49

After a long couple of months relaxing in the hot tub.

Tie Jam raises himself up,, ohhh dam im wrinkley.. not finding any clothes he commences to walk around the star ship idiot trying to remember were his quarters were.

he starts to yell out but no response.. activating a comms unit he trys to hail someone,, but no response.
finally giving up he continnues his search.
on the way he stops at the galley and gets himself a peanutbutter and jelly sandwich luckily hte ships engines kept the food in a good condition.

done with his snack he starts to skip thru the hallways.

muhahah im all alone the ship is mine mine all mine ,, weeeeeee
gonna go blow stuff up now..
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Gryffin · 3 Apr 2003, 22:52

*Gryffin giggles, and wakes from his drug induced slumber/trip, and vows never to touch such vile concoctions ever again. Thirty seconds later he is prowling the ship, looking for a departed wo2, and the drinks he can provide.*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 3 Apr 2003, 22:56

*On the bridge, Kama lays spralled backwards, the headrest had long given up, leaving his neck craning at the ceiling, tongue out and snoring.

The faint noise of slurred dreaming speak echos the now vacant room

Where had the crew gone? Would they be back? Will any of their plot lines ever make sense?

ToeJam · 3 Apr 2003, 23:12

after a few hours of wandering around.. playing with some of the buttons on the ships engine and entering a virus into the main computer.

Toe Jam finnally finds his quarters. putting on some bermuda shorts with a bright orange and red hawaian shirt white soxs and sandals he commences to strap himself down.

looking at his timer he waits as it runs down to virus activation.
he commences to augh out loud in a really insane way.
hahahahah weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee shippy gonna go all sorts aways now ..
yeah yeah weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

the alarm goes off.. ths ship starts to veer this way then that way. the artificial gravity is shut off. things begoin to float within his cabin.

toe jam continues to laugh out loud

wee hahahahahaha weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

somebody gonna be mad now

oppsss forgot to mention hahah ship is programmed to head staright into a meteor field and the shields are turned off..
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

muhahahahah wasnt me wasnt me.. tweety did it was tweety yeah yeah tweety did it

J-Kama-Ka-C · 3 Apr 2003, 23:27

*Floating upwards, Kama is rudely awakened by the collision with the ceiling. Coming around he discovered the ground several feet below

"Ah not again..."

*Climbing down the wall in a mad inverted scramble, he reaches a computer terminal and hits the diagnosic button to do all the work for him

System check complete...
All computer function infected...
Complete opperation shuffle...
Find and activate cure.prog...

*It appeared the virus was rerouting ever computer command, to toally unconnected operations

*Kama attempts to turn gravity back on, but the replicators activate and start flooding the corner of the room with soda cans

flapjack · 4 Apr 2003, 08:38

*flapjack wanders into the ship absentlymindedly, not knowing or caring about how he got onboard*

*flapjack wanders around and arrives in the engineering room and decides to play around a little with the engines, to bad they don't do anything*

ooc/ which positions are still open ?? /ooc

okiN · 4 Apr 2003, 14:49

*okiN wakes up in his quarters, where he has spent the last two years...* "Right. What'd I miss?"

J-Kama-Ka-C · 4 Apr 2003, 22:00

(Pretty much all the positions are vacant... crew come and go as they please...)

*Kama searches for the shut off to the can dispencer, eventually finding it as the last can of mountain dew on the ship hits the ground. Flicking it quickly, but instead of shutting the machine off, it has switched on all the showers on H-Deck

Gryffin · 4 Apr 2003, 22:56

*Gryffin floats onto the bridge, and begins demolishing the pile of drinks cans looking for the special drink he had several months ago. He completely ignores everything else to the point of idiocy, but he didn't seem to care.*

Lady Hawk · 5 Apr 2003, 16:19

on H-Deck,

whilst recovering from a heaaaaaaavvvvvvvvvyyyyyyyyy night and having an early morning shower....

LH - AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

then all the showers unbenowest to moi are turned on thus draining all the hot water..

LH - AAAAAAAHHHHHHH........???????......!!!!!!!!.....BBBrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

she run nekkid out of the shower wif nout but a skimpy towel and runs/streaks into the corridor looking for the hot water button turny onny thing that will allow the hot water to run again.....

as she is in the corridor

*slam*

the door closes

LH - *gulp*.....er??????......Oh dear......

okiN · 5 Apr 2003, 20:55

*okiN wanders along the corridors, and runs into the scantily-clad Lady Hawk* "Lord have mercy!" *Faints*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 5 Apr 2003, 23:32

*Kama chuckles and starts to burry Gryffin, who is digging himself deeper into the stack of cans. When he can no longer hear the muffled chattering, he soon bores and wanders back to the center of the bridge.

Only now noticing that the viewscreen is showing the meteor field they are on a collision course with. It looks horribly close, possibly close enough for you to remark how visible your house was from this point, had you been interested in deep space realestate. Kama of course wasn't and so couldn't "see his house from here"... his house was some distance off and currently obscured by the HUGE rock they were about to hit.

Cowering in fear for three solid minutes, he eventually opens his eyes to look around - finding himself and the ship very much still intact, he remains puzzled for a moment. The view screen is now displaying what appears to be a very very wide screen viewed grain of sand on the side of a meteor

"Computer, decrease magnifcation, real size please...?"

The field is revealed to still be quite some distance away, which should give them just enough time to cobble together some sort of plan

*Kama gets off his knees and goes for a walk

ToeJam · 6 Apr 2003, 09:14

Toe Jam continues to laugh insanely, finally he stops and unbuckles himself. he floats over to the storages bin and retrieves a very very old pair of DR.J"s converse high top gravity sneakers.
He laces them up and completes his ansable of red with big yellow flowered hawian shirt green bermuda shorts and High tops.

Picking up a hand held a sub-zero blower he walks out of his quarters. as he makes his way down the hallway he notices Okin laying on the floor. he then sees LadyHawk standing over him, but in closer inspection Toe Jam notices that Oking is peeking up from the floor and looking up LadyHawk's towel.

Toe Jam doing the gentlemanly thing turns on the Sub-zero blower on ultimatly nasty high and turbo air. as he shifts the nozzel towards Orkin the air bounces of the walls then 1st lifts LadyHawks towel up over her head

then the towel takes off flying down the corridor.:eek:

Toe Jam stands there in amazement luckily he is standing close enough to watch as the 1st goozebumos appear on LadyHawk..

Gryffin · 6 Apr 2003, 21:18

*As Gryffin struggles with the cans, one flies off the top of the pile in the zero G and hits the security console, pressing an emergency fire control command. Suddenly, walls drop with alarming speed in front of Toejam, and a long way behind as well, sealing him off from the others. Then the foam jets activate, and fill the corridor with foam, choking Toejam.*

[ooc] Try and keep some decorum, or Mods are going to close this.

[ooc]

ToeJam · 6 Apr 2003, 21:40

ToeJam watches as the foam starts to fill the corridor he is in. reaching into his sock bag he pulls out a oxygen producing sock mask.
Looking around he finds a maintanence hatch opens it and commences to crawl thru it. makinh his wy to places unknown.

ooc/ Gryffin
1st nothing written was graphic.
2nd the only 2 poeple in this thread that can chastise me is LadyHawk or J-Kamma-Ka-C.
3rd I am not really interested in what you have to say.
4th I am also not going to enter into a debate with you. so you can post what evere else you want, cause im really dont care.
ooc/:e_chick:

J-Kama-Ka-C · 6 Apr 2003, 22:54

*Kama whistles along with the turbo lift music, only to find it grinding to a haul over some security breach warning.

Muttering he attempts to reach the emergency exit hatch on the roof of the lift... fall short, he is lucky to remember the gravity is still off and bangs his head on the door mechanism. The hatch opens and he floats upwards, towards the nearest deck

16 Apr 2003, 18:24

wakes up in the engine room after everything went black. shakes head and begins wondering where he is
damn humming!
twitches and begins searching for somthing that explodes
what? no dynamite? YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG!!!!!
runs around and amazingly crashes through the door runs down the hall yelling and trips over okin
oww! my face hurts.
pokes okin
hehe!... hehehe!... hehehehehe!... when boredom strikes!

notices a thermostat on the wall and sets it to 35 degrees C.
BOREDOM!!!!!!!!!

Demon Dave · 25 Apr 2003, 14:16

*Demon Dave mystically appeas next to Kama upside down and 3 feet off the floor. He then falls to the floor face first after floating in midair for a few seconds*

"ouch, alright kama. you still captain around here?"

okiN · 25 Apr 2003, 15:08

*okiN cranks the thermostat up all the way to 90 degrees celsius, and runs to his room to prepare for sauna*

25 Apr 2003, 15:24

runs to the kitchen and gathers up 3 boxes of sugar cubes and begins munching
hehehe! mmmmmmm.... sugar
chases a small fly around the ship

J-Kama-Ka-C · 25 Apr 2003, 16:39

"DAVE!! just the fellow we need.. the ships on collision course with a bunch of big rocks and no one knows how to work the helm. Other than that a virus is running rampage in the computer functions, gravity is cross wired, and the turbo lifts are on the blink... So yeah... everything is basically just like when you left

"

Breezer · 25 Apr 2003, 16:50

*Breezer comes out of hyperspeed next to the Starship and docks. He foolishly doesnt LOCK it in dock though, so as soon as the pressure lock closes behind him, his ship floats away into space*

"Oh well. Hmmm well, either way I still have these strange alien virus samples from the andromeda system!"

*He takes one of the viles out of his shoulder bag and tosses it to himself as he runs down the hallway*

"Anyone know where this goes...."

*SMACK! he crashes into the wall and the virus vile breaks on him, oozing the red sample all over him. Soon he mutates into a giant walking duck with a runny nose*

"Antidote antidote! Gosh, I hope this isnt contagious....."

*Quickly leaves the scene of the accident so as not to be identified with it*