Planetarion Forums - The star ship Idiot

flapjack · 12 Sep 2002, 19:44

*flapjack wonders what the ******** is going on*

Gryffin · 12 Sep 2002, 21:44

*The automatic security system installed for Lady Hawk's safety teleports Toejam back to the bath tub and tells him to fix what he messed up.*

ToeJam · 13 Sep 2002, 14:03

Toe Jam opens an intercom to the eapons master and requests the following, 2 phaser rifles, 1 newtron grenade 500 pounds of plastic explosives 200 feet of detonation wire,1 transmitter 1 reciever, 1 main battle tank 2 light fighters and a partridge in a pair tree..

he relaxes on Ladyhawks bed until his order arrives.

flapjack · 13 Sep 2002, 14:46

*flapjack silently sneaks in with toejams order, then drops it onto L'H's bed, before toejam gets off it*

*flapjack then disappears into the ship again*

Demon Dave · 13 Sep 2002, 15:14

*DemonDave (the weapons officer) wonders where 2 phaser rifles, 1 newtron grenade 500 pounds of plastic explosives 200 feet of detonation wire,1 transmitter 1 reciever, 1 main battle tank 2 light fighters and a partridge in a pair tree have gone from his stores. he then notices that the detenation wire has been dropped leaving a trail which he starts to follow*

flapjack · 13 Sep 2002, 15:50

*flapjack waits till DD finds toejam, covered in 2 phaser rifles, 1 newtron grenade 500 pounds of plastic explosives 200 feet of detonation wire,1 transmitter 1 reciever, 1 main battle tank 2 light fighters and a partridge in a pair tree

ToeJam · 13 Sep 2002, 19:03

Toe Jam places the 2 phaser rifles side by side with a string attached to the trigger the string is then attached to the partridge in the pare tree(they are very easily spooked). he points the phaser at the 500lbs of explsives that are placed by the front door taking the newtron grenade and removing the pin he jambs the nade in ladyhawks closet next to the whips. placing the 2 fighter (rather crowded in the room now) on a hover mode aiming towards the bathroom he takes some detonating coord and connects it to the photon torpedos from the fighter the other end is placed inside the tanks ammo bins.

now tying it all together with his motion-detector socks
and the finally is placing the reciever/detonator to te explosives.

Toe Jam activates the intercom system and advises Gryffin that he is ready to deal with the problem in Ladyhawks quarters, Toe Jam laso advises gryffin that he should put on some ear protectors cause its gonna be loud.

flapjack · 13 Sep 2002, 19:14

*flapjack walks into the room, sees the incoming explosions and disappears into nothing*

Demon Dave · 13 Sep 2002, 20:11

*DD, still very very very very very far away tugs at the wire setting everything off and blasting a very large hole through the side of the ship. DD then walks to a window and sees TJ float off into space*

"*waves* bye!!!!!"

ToeJam · 13 Sep 2002, 20:30

Toe Jam having put on his protective sock suit fly' out the hole done by the explosion, he reaches into his sock pouch and pulls out to extending sock claws with mini-rockets he activates the rockets and watches as they head to the ship upon tting they the claws are activated latching unto the ship.

Toe Jam see DD waving and waves back .

Toe Jam reels himself back and enters thru an airlock. he activates the ships comms and informs Gryffin that the problem in Ladyhawks suite has been taken care off.

flapjack · 13 Sep 2002, 20:38

*flapjack goes to rebuilding that section of the ship*

Gryffin · 13 Sep 2002, 21:53

"Thank you. Now, deal with the large hole in the ship which the first problem has caused, if you please."

Evil_Ginge · 13 Sep 2002, 22:02

*Ginge walks around the ship, playing with the internal security guns, shocking random crewmembers with low electrical charges

14 Sep 2002, 00:30

*wo2s sensors detect massive internal explosinons and he wonders what is going on.*

Warring Emergency decompresion of Deck 13 (ladyhawks room is on deck 12) Will start in 1 minute.

*Whoossshhhh*

I will now put air back in *Whoosshhh*

Please report all lost object to the captain.

flapjack · 14 Sep 2002, 13:38

*flapjack notices they have lost toejam and goes to report that*

QazokRouge5 · 20 Sep 2002, 04:18

Qazok leads his Battleship into the open space...

Hi-Ho-Hi-Ho... Its off to war we go!

*warps towards battle*

flapjack · 20 Sep 2002, 17:40

err ?

20 Sep 2002, 19:44

Ooo battle that souns fun. Shall we go all those in favor engage warp.

J-Kama-Ka-C · 20 Sep 2002, 20:18

*Looks up from his sleep
"hmm what? ah... yeah? lets!"

Jackass · 21 Sep 2002, 15:54

*wonders around the outside of a ship...occasionally coughin because of the lack of air.*

can somone let me in please.
i have some space monkeys trying to eat my legs.
prefrably kama cos i know him.
dont want anymore hostile activity towards me....AAAAIEEEE THE MONKEYS ARE CLOSE!!!

*bangs on airlock window*

Fluffie · 21 Sep 2002, 15:59

Fluffie wakes up next to Kama, grinning widely.

"G'morning

"

Jackass · 21 Sep 2002, 16:02

:eek:

*looks in from the airlock window in shock*

AIEEE!!
what are u doing next to kama...waking up and smiling....eeek..

p.s please let me in the monkeys are chewing my toes.

*hits the window with a space monekys bloody skull*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 21 Sep 2002, 16:03

*Frowns at Fluff
"No one but me sits in the captains chair... now get back to your Science post and report on what ever those monkeys I hear are coming..."

Fluffie · 21 Sep 2002, 16:06

Yes! YES! He frowned at me! \o/

"Aye aye cap'ain. Want any cows to go with that?"

Fluffie happily rolls out of the chair and makes his way to the science station, beginning to press random buttons.

Jackass · 21 Sep 2002, 16:06

*growls at kama, then eventually smashes the window with the monkeys head and blocks up the hole with the monkeys body.*

ahh thats better *brushes himself down*
wheres kama?
*looks around*
ahh there he is...
*walks over to kama*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 21 Sep 2002, 16:08

"No more cows! get to work... before they get in here"
*Looks at Jackass
"ah one of them is already on the bridge!"

Fluffie · 21 Sep 2002, 16:11

*scratches his head*

"before who get in here?"

Jackass · 21 Sep 2002, 16:12

no no no!!!
its Jackass your dear friend...whats going on here...OMG THERES A SPACE NINJA OVER THERE MAKING SILLY PICTURES AND GIFS OF HIMSELF!!!! (which i have if anyone wants em)...oh no wait its only kama.

so whats going on?

J-Kama-Ka-C · 21 Sep 2002, 16:18

"Before the monkeys get in here Fluff"
*points to the few that are climbing through the broken window

"... ah of course Bob" *frowns at his suggestion*

Fluffie · 21 Sep 2002, 16:22

"What monkeys? There are no monkeys here!"

*presses some more random buttons and suddenly all of the monkeys are transformed into..... german killer cows

*

*giggles evilly and points at the crew*

"Go, mein cows! Killz ze crew!"

Jackass · 21 Sep 2002, 16:22

heh sorry kama...u got any guns on this ship?
i got my shotgun but not much ammo and that wont do much to the space monkeys...when i say monkeys i mean space killer silver backs. with sharp teeth and lasers on thier arms.

so yeah some energy projectile rapid fireing gun would be good right about now.

Jackass · 21 Sep 2002, 16:27

*watches the transformation reverse back to monkeys and the monkeys go for the nearest target...fluff*

****.
we had better help him...those guns would be handy about now kama.

*watches the 1000's of space silver backs savagly tear fluff apart*

oh god...

J-Kama-Ka-C · 21 Sep 2002, 16:35

"He'll be fine... give him a few minutes"
*After hearing some uneasy screams from the science console, Kama decides he'd better save him
"That's solved rather easily"
*Goes back to his chair and hits the Captains override button on the internal weapons, not able to actually turn them over to his own control but can work around Ginge's integration to at least set the targets

click
*Several turrets fold out of the ceiling and rotate out of the walls
Terrible horrible awful sound
Terrible horrible awful silence
*No more monkeys*
click
*The guns retract and stand down

Fluffie · 21 Sep 2002, 16:36

*sniff*

"mein cowz.. you havze killed mein cowz.."

*sniff*

Jackass · 21 Sep 2002, 16:39

sweet =D

i'd like to improve those in the future sometime tho. i noticed some things that could be improved on the design.

what now then

Evil_Ginge · 21 Sep 2002, 17:30

*Ginge smiles as four security taser guns activate around jackass

"now for experimentation"

*all the security guns fire and knock jackass unconcious where he is draged off and tied down to a operating table, then a message goes out to all decks

"if there is a molecular biologist on board you have a test subject in the medical room, if not, there is a cut and play dolly for any psychopaths"

Jackass · 21 Sep 2002, 17:36

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GOD HES INSANE!!!

*pulls out his pocket knife and cuts himself free*
*loads the shotgun*
*grins evilly*
*shoots console so guns are fkced*
*shoots ginges feet and hands off.*

dont mess with me im as insane as u are, my fellow saneless f001.

ask kama...i seriously disfigured him in irc after he hid my shotgun.

Evil_Ginge · 21 Sep 2002, 17:48

whoever said i was using a consol, and please apply to the laws of physics, you are restrained, and since you are as such you can't move your arms and legs

Jackass · 21 Sep 2002, 18:54

i cut myself free...using my ears.
i have many double joints so i got out of it easily. =D

well either way i destroyed the guns

flapjack · 21 Sep 2002, 20:22

*flapjack's voice suddenly screamed trough the ship: YOU DESTROYED THE CONTROL CONSOLE, YOU WILL BE DESTROYED, the turrets then unfold, releasing a massive barrage of gunfire, energy projectiles and instant death to whoever gets within range, when the turrets disappear there is nothing left of jackass*

(i'm the ships computer)

Jackass · 22 Sep 2002, 11:07

*thanks kama for all the wonderful HOSTILITY he didn't want.*

ack
is there a medic on board?

J-Kama-Ka-C · 22 Sep 2002, 12:16

*Sighs and hits a few buttons on the pannel, teleports the mess of what remains of Bob to the medlab, automates Runo off screen saver mode and activates respawn protocalls 3.1

"bah, always complaining, now, lets get to warp and go join that battle..."

(Flapjack, wo2 is the computer, but besides that Ginge kind of took over almost all functions until we find another way to burst his ego

)

Jackass · 22 Sep 2002, 16:00

im back in one piece!
what attack is this?

Evil_Ginge · 22 Sep 2002, 20:24

my ego will never be burst

*Ginge walks around some more, ending up on the bridge

"ok here we go everyone, warp factor"

*The star ship idiot goes into warp, going to battle

flapjack · 22 Sep 2002, 20:46

oops, wrong thread, i'm the computer in the starship LEARNER not idiot, here i'm the person that sabotages everything

Demon Dave · 23 Sep 2002, 15:34

*DemonDave sees a ballon floating around saying "Ginges Ego" on it and then takes a pin to it, causing it to burst*

"

problem solved"

Jackass · 23 Sep 2002, 15:45

heh. may i ask who we are going to battle with...and why...are we bored.
and do u have any manually operated ship guns as i would like to man them...=D

=D

flapjack · 23 Sep 2002, 16:09

*flapjack hides in the engine compartment, then pulls 1 little blue wire out of the wall socket, suddenly stopping the ship, sending everybody ('cept me) across the ship*

vampire_lestat · 25 Sep 2002, 07:57

*lestat walks up to kama, pokes him, and asks "got any spare jobs on the ship? Preferably summit high ranking"

Evil_Ginge · 25 Sep 2002, 18:19

*Ginge feels a small part of his ego burst

"hey that hurt, and there are no manually operated ships guns, that would be no fun, but you can fire a pistol out of a air lock"

*shifts his position and takes the ship out of warp into the middle of a random battle