The star ship Idiot

In the clouds of Dust, Qazok sees an oppurtunity, and de-cloaks, he aims his Tachiron Pulse Cannon at the captain, and fires. The dust is instanly vaporized (making that duster guy happy) and Qazok Cloaks himself again and moves to another sector of the ship. The Captain is rushed to Sick-Bay, and the Doctor doesnt know what will happen next...


[Suspensive music : DUN DUN DUN!]

Attetion Evil-Ginge I have deteced weapons fire near the captains location I think the inisble person has struck. Only thing is hes not to invsible. He needs to pull up his invisble pants I can see his visble underware!

[Maniacal_Intent]

Laying in a tumbled heap at the bottom of the turbo lift's elevator shaft, Intent makes a note to stop and check the lift is at his deck before sliding through the doors.

Suddenly his entire form glows whiter and brighter until it lights up the entire lift shaft before it shatters into a million points of light which slowly wink out.

[Tseia]

Originally posted by Gryffin
[ooc] My last is on the 27 of June. Isn't that just terrible [ooc]

bad luck. what are you doing?

[Evil_Ginge]

"affirmative Wo2, i have him on thermal imaging, i'm tagetting internal weapos systems now"

*force shields activate around Qazok and weapons systems come online, the comm systems activate


"your soo screwed.............."

*the weapons systems fire, making the corridor a blaze of fire and bullets

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

*J-Kama-Ka-C lies under several feet of flour and is unable to move
"...hey what's that burning smell"

Another warning blowing up a halway is not recomnded!

Qazok, thinking quickly, reconfigures his cloaker into a transporter, and transports himself to his ship. On the bridge, the comms officer reports that a cloaked ship has just decloaked and is preparing for warp. With thier external weapons offline, (due to massive flower clogging up the barrels) they can do nothing but watch as Qazok goes into warp, and leaves hem all behind. But little do they know... They havent seen the last of Qazok the Assassin...

[Evil_Ginge]

*little did Qazok know that as he had transported, a bomb had come aboard and a little message played over on the comms systems

"your still screwed"

*the bombs blows up in the engine room of Qazok's ship blowing the engins sky high, sending him hurtling through space with no means of getting back

"i think we have seen the last of him"

[QazokRouge5]

at the next closest planet, the real Qazok recieves the message that one of his automated assasins have been destroyed. He authorizes a full fleet mobilization, and is going to send them to attack, but he thinks better of it. "Let them come to us"... he thinks. After that he Beefs up his Planetary Defence Systems [pds - for all the n00bs] .

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

*The captain looks thoughtfull
"you know... if we had enough eggs,etc we could make a giant loaf of bread with all this flour...where's the chef gone"

[Evil_Ginge]

*teleports the flour to cargo bay 4

"permission to destroy that little invisible ^£$% sir"

[Gryffin]

[ooc] CCEA - AS physics [ooc]

*Gryffin suddenly finds all the flour he was sweeping has dissappeared, so goes to the galley amd makes himself a Surprisesquiqpie. He then eats it.*

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

"request for mindless violence approved"
*The captain, now able to stand again goes to find his office

[KraKto$is8]

Originally posted by J-Kama-Ka-C
"request for mindless violence approved"

"yay!"

* KraK grabs a monkey and hits Kama with it *

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

"ouch... watch it with that thing, I don't know where its been"

*the computer beeps on the brigde and wo2s face appears on the main screen.*

Sir I'm detecting a massive fleet movment. Hey your not the captain....oh well you'll do *wo2s face flickes off.*

*Midi turns on his new toy and suddenly 40 other vessles similar to the Idiot apear around us in random locations...."Lets see what they says to them"*

[Evil_Ginge]

*ginge smiles and takes over controls

"ok people, battle stations"

*the idiot hyperdrive engines engage and within seconds they are next to the offending person planet


"err every availible crewmember to manual gunports, and fighters"

[KraKto$is8]

Originally posted by J-Kama-Ka-C
"ouch... watch it with that thing, I don't know where its been"

"Yes you do. THis is your great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great ... [etc] ... great grandmother. Respect her, she's very old."

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

"like I said, I don't know where its been, and don't hit me with it!"

[KraKto$is8]

"It's a her, not an it!"

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

"that's not the point!"
*Runs off to somewhere safe

[QazokRouge5]

*Opens a comm like with the wounded captain* "You have successfully killed one of my elite assassins... but lets see how you do against Battleships. We will recall all hostilities if you will surrender you w0m3n to us. Immediatly. You have 24 hours to respond." *closes comm link* Shall the Star ship die because of their stubborness of heir women? or shall they surrender, and live to see tommorow? (well see next episode!)

*Midi increases the number of ships around the Idiot to 100*

[Evil_Ginge]

*opens up a comm link

"hey sucker, you are so screwed, we have a lot more fighters and battleships that you could possibly imagine, look around, we have about 100"

*closes comm link

*opens up a comm link to midi

"are those ships real, cause if there not we are gonna have one hell of a battle on our hands"

*Midi blinks*

" Umm well no.. but each one has an independant responce system for shields and hull and firing control.. when we fire several other ships will fire on the same vessle.. making it really hard to figure out which ones reall.... On the up side there is a battle fleet on its way that is real.. i think about 30 ships.. and another wave of 20 behind it by 30 minutes .... Im working on a Confusion system though should be interesting."

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

*Now in realitive safety the captain checks the the computers to see what's going on
"...erm can someone explain where all this battle just came from?... oh well, we better win"

[Tseia]

Tseia mans a gun port.

[Gryffin]

"Fighter wings 2 through 20, fall into my lead. All other squadrons, split high and low, take the lead capital ship. Fire on my mark. Mark!"

*An assortment of strange missiles fly at the enemy ship, and all explode at once. The ship turns into a purple chicken, which explodes in the vacuum.*

"Scratch one up for us! Yay!"

[QazokRouge5]

(Back on the Planet) Assistant : "Qazok, SIR! the victims have destroyed our unmanned lead ship. Requesting for overkill command." Qazok : "Granted, show them how we work around here... Oh, and the ship with the women... capture it."

(Back at the battle site) Midi : (to the captain) "SIR! GET TO THE BRIDGE NOW! 600 Heavy Battle Cruisers just de-cloaked on our Port side! 200 War Cruisers just de-cloaked on the Starboard side. Weapons are raised. The lead ship is hailing us. They said to surrender our women, or die. What do we do??" (Midi faints)

DUN DUN DUN! What will the captain do?

<ooc> Hey no playing other people.. Im not the tactical officer just Cheif engineer .. I just control all the kewl gadgets LOL<ooc>

[QazokRouge5]

did i mention i am god? lol

[Evil_Ginge]

"captain request perrmission to use executioner protocol"

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

"Approved... but can't we just inedvertantly destroy the planet like the last three we've met?"

[Evil_Ginge]

"we can do that afterwards captain"

*a large incoherent Improbability wave is emmited from the Idiot and it turns all the surrouning battleships and enemy ships into some really random objects some vases, others in the true style of hitchhikers guide, large whale's

"now we can destroy the planet at my will"

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

"Very well, fire at will"
*The captain lingers around the auto turrets mowing through the various remains of the fleet before returning to the bridge

[QazokRouge5]

(BAck @ the planet) Assistant : "Sir, the Idiot has fired its impulse wave as expected. The Virus has been planted, and the Idiot will self destruct in 1 hour." Qazok : "Good. The only way they live now is to give me the women ship." "Were 300 million lightyears away... theres no way in hell they will get here in 2 hours."


Will the captain finally surrender his women? or die?

DUN DUN DUN!

[Evil_Ginge]

*ginge purges the virus from their systems,

"as suspected they used a virus too sir, but we loaded one into their systems as well, a nice latent one, they won't be able to detect it until i activate it, it will then crash their systems"

*the idiot jumps into non space and jumps out next to Qazok's ship, within 2 seconds and opens fire with its laser batterys

[Shadow275]

The USS Skyflyer enters the sector, watches 'The Idiot' fire its laser batterys, and quickly leaves the sector, never to return.
Onboard Shadow laughs

[QazokRouge5]

f00lz! we have probability sheaths... we cant die! LOL

[Evil_Ginge]

*ginge activates the virus and everything on the ship gets shut down, consols explode and interfaces that were not attached dissentegrate

"now i see u are and idiot"

**ginge opens fire again, this time with the heavy batterys, explosions rock Qazok's ship as HE shells rip huge holes in his ship

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

*J-Kama-Ka-C pulls up the tactical readouts and starts to watch the destruction of Qazok's ship in 3D-widescreen-stero

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin watches from his fighter as the rest of the fighters close on the ship and begin to cut through it. He opens some pop-corn. He spills it down the console. He curses. He tries to pick up the spilage, and spills more. He curses again. He tries to pick up the spillage.....*

[Evil_Ginge]

*the heavy batters continue to rip huge rents through the hull and massive explosions rock the crew within

[J-Kama-Ka-C]

*The captain flicks up a side monitor on his chair and starts to pad in a few sequences, searching the computer core for a certain file

[Shadow275]

*Shadow, sad after the loss of the Skyflyer, 'ShadowBlends' to the Idiot*

"Nice fight"

*Shadow does a thumbs up and then 'Shadowblends'

*Midi messages Ginge .... " That was a good move confusing the enemy sensors by changing the appearance of all the ships.. It went quite well with my little trick since we knew its secret ^_^.. Props!."*

[Evil_Ginge]

"yes midi, i had that charging the whole time, needed to use it some time or other"

*a little bleeping sound goes off

"ooh the lance battery is charged, watch your veiwscreen this will be interesting"


*Suddenly four huge beams of laser blast out of their ports and hit the enemy ship, they blast straight through the hull and out the other side, then they move, each in turn, and cut the ship into quarters

[Gryffin]

*Gryffin cheers at this show of strength, and then chokes on the popcorn.*