Planetarion Forums - The star ship Idiot

vampire_lestat · 29 Mar 2002, 09:22

*lestat saves MI from the killer youghert and fires several emp blasts at it, he then trips over a pipe and falls into the youghert himself*

Evil_Ginge · 29 Mar 2002, 11:36

*ginge fires a grappling hook at intent and drags him out of the yoghurt, leaving lestat there to die

"sorry lestat, the grapple only works once"

vampire_lestat · 29 Mar 2002, 16:45

"thank you very much" gargled lestat as he sunk
*lestat pulls out the plug on the youghurt, draining whatever he was in of youghurt and saving his life, lestat then goes to the science place WHERE HE WORKS and does science officer type stuff*

29 Mar 2002, 17:02

*wo2 stars screaming as some yougurt enters his computer core*

EEEEEKKKKKK

*wo2 gives it a zap and it runs out*

hehe *wo2 then starts chasing it with a droid on little wheels*

Gryffin · 29 Mar 2002, 22:26

*The yoghurt runs around a corner to get away from the trolly on little wheels and gets zapped by an irate Gryffin with a blaster.*

"Is anyone else really begining to not like yoghurt? At all?"

J-Kama-Ka-C · 29 Mar 2002, 22:54

"..this is why I prefer jelly"
*The captain starts to fire randomly into the yogurt

KraKto$is8 · 29 Mar 2002, 23:40

"Er... can't we just eat the yoghurt?"

* KraK gets his knife and fork *

Evil_Ginge · 29 Mar 2002, 23:46

*ginge comes round the corner, carrying a rocket launcher in each hand

"i hated yoghurt to start with"

*ginge fires at the yoghurt with the rocket launchers

KraKto$is8 · 29 Mar 2002, 23:49

"Oooh, toasted yoghurt, even better!"

Maniacal_Intent · 30 Mar 2002, 09:10

After coughing up several mouthfuls of inhaled yogurt Intent recovers enough to realize he was just rescued twice...and if that wasn't enough of a shock one of his rescuers was Ginge! Understandably Intent is quite stunned at this display of compassion and walks off shaking his head as well as thinking he's stumbled into some backwards paralell dimension.

vampire_lestat · 30 Mar 2002, 14:29

*lestat finds a giant straw and starts to drink away the youghurt.*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 30 Mar 2002, 14:50

*J-Kama-Ka-C continues to fire randomly into it, but seeing its not really helping starts to shovel lumps of it into the waste disposel

30 Mar 2002, 15:20

Kama, you can't put the yoghurt in there, it will start to eat away at our rubbish and keep it at a maintainable level. That means that we won't have anything to throw at unsuspecting people when we land on planets!!!

vampire_lestat · 30 Mar 2002, 16:22

i have an idea!
*lestat makes a cardbord stall*
"GET YOUR YOUGHURT HERE, ONLY 1SPACE £ FOR A SPACE KG. GET YOUR YOUGHURT HERE!!!"

Gryffin · 30 Mar 2002, 20:48

*Gryffin walks up behind Lestat and whispers in his ear.*

"We are the only people on the ship, so you won't have anyone to con. Only the complete idiots among the crew will fall for this. By the by, here is £20. Can I have it delivered to my quarters, or do I have to carry it?"

Evil_Ginge · 30 Mar 2002, 21:17

*realises the rocket launchers arn't doing anything but damaging the ship, ginge picks up a multi melta and starts burning his way throught the yoghurt

J-Kama-Ka-C · 31 Mar 2002, 00:03

"Could someone teleport me in a bigger shovel....I have to find someway of shifting all this yogurt out into space faster..."

Evil_Ginge · 31 Mar 2002, 00:07

*ginge teleports kama a bigger shovel, and a vacuum pump

J-Kama-Ka-C · 31 Mar 2002, 00:46

"ah perfect"
*J-kama-ka-C starts to shovel faster, periodically stopping to flush the waste disposel and blow the yog out into space

31 Mar 2002, 19:15

What exactly does a space kg weigh?? Without gravity it won't weigh anything, so your asking me to pay a £ for nothing, hardly seems fair!

Gryffin · 31 Mar 2002, 20:32

"He is right! I'll have my £20 back, thank you very much!"

*Gryffin takes the note back, and goes back to the fighter bay. He finds it full of yogurt. To remeidy this, he clmbs into his fighter, which is yoghurt free, and opens the bay doors. The yoghurt is all sucked out into space, but so is his fighter, which is stuck in the yoghurt.*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 31 Mar 2002, 22:48

"and I'll have money back too! despite the fact you are selling a universally accepted measurement of one 'space' kg as opposed to the wieght of a kilogram in space... and further despite I never bought anything"
*retrieves a couple space credits from lestats and goes back to the shovel, only yo find it burried in yogurt

Evil_Ginge · 1 Apr 2002, 09:58

*teleports kama another shovel

vampire_lestat · 1 Apr 2002, 10:25

*lestat complains about everyone taking his moneh*

Evil_Ginge · 1 Apr 2002, 10:35

*ginge stops lestat complaining by teleporting his voicebox into deep space.

"there we go, thats my public service done"

KraKto$is8 · 1 Apr 2002, 12:07

* KraK finishes the humiliation of lestat by taking all his money and buying yoghurt *

vampire_lestat · 1 Apr 2002, 13:04

*lestat grows a new voicebox on a plant, before inserting it to its rightful place, he then attacks ginge with some youghurt, starting a food fight.*

1 Apr 2002, 15:09

*Paul constructs a trebucket with which to fire yoghurt at lestat. (Paul kicks ass at food fights as he can make a bazooka with nothing more than a potato, can of deodarant, a tube (plenty on this ship) and a flame).*
DIE (in the metaphorical sense of course after all a potato bazooka isn't really gonna do that much damage except to people with soft heads (the majority on this ship)).

KraKto$is8 · 1 Apr 2002, 15:51

* KraK loads the yoghurt into his shotgun and fires it everywhere, covering everyone in the stale milk *

J-Kama-Ka-C · 1 Apr 2002, 19:19

*The captain sneaks up on Paul and starts to bury the trebucket in Yogurt

Gryffin · 1 Apr 2002, 21:27

*Gryffin teleports himself and the fighter back to the ship since no-one else seemed about to and begns to wander around the lower levels in search of fun, money, girls and perhaps all three.*

2 Apr 2002, 05:01

*wo2 sends a droidonwheelswithreallybigzappything after a stary piece of yougurt*

hehe

2 Apr 2002, 16:57

*Midi starts counting down from 100 when the salt is finished mixing with the yogurt onboard and readies the activate yogurt eating salt button..*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 2 Apr 2002, 20:00

*The captain decides that's a very good plan and goes to find his shampoo, which to his knowledge also had some kind of active ingredient

2 Apr 2002, 20:45

(The captain's obviously NOT stealing this from Evolution)

*Paul simply fires his trebucket to remove the stuff Kama's putting on. He hits Midi.*
Good team work Kama!
*Kama turns round*
Pity there's no teams in a food fight.
*Paul hits Kama on the back of the head with some congealed yoghurt.*

Gryffin · 2 Apr 2002, 20:47

*Gryffin, by some stroke of insane genius, does achually find all three in the same room, deep in the bowels of the ship. He subsequently isn't heard for quite some time.*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 3 Apr 2002, 00:29

(No chance, I'm fairly sure yogurt is also carbon based, therefore the active ingredient would also kill us, not the best idea for shampoo ingredients, the Evolution guys had the benifit of fighting the next one over from carbon, what ever it is... though yogurt is more likely to be Calcium based that just won't work the whole metal thing or something.... ok so this excuse is kind of waring thin, and the active enzyme that eats Yogurt has no chance of being found in a shampoo, whcih is why Midi probably went through the whole salt thing

ramblings over)

*The captain mutters something along the lines of "you just can't get good idiots these days" and starts burry Paul in yogurt now

Maniacal_Intent · 3 Apr 2002, 00:51

Meanwhile down in the science lab or SSI equivalent...

Intent, being Intent, is whiling away the time by shoving various test tubes and beakers filled with colourful lizuids into a microwave. Setting it on high for 30 minutes he then proceeds to dissasemble the gas spectrometer and build a hoverbike out of the resulting mess of parts.

Removing the 'stuff' from the microwave he pours it into the fuel tank, jumps on the bike and hits the go button causing several things to happen in a reasonably short amount of time. they are as follows

A) the hover bike shudders violently and stops
2)Intent gets off and boots the bike
33 sub-paragraph 9) The bike explodes in a large and greenish manner

8) The science lab is now covered in blue flame
G)Intent runs out of the lab leaving a trail of fire behind him and starts setting fire to other parts of the shoip.

3 Apr 2002, 04:12

*Midi regains consiousness and wonders what the hell hit him.. he was the only one in engineering.. but shakes it off untill he figures it out....Then realizes a plazma fire alarm is going off and its spreading fast.. "GREAT, CRAP, ****!!! HMMMMMMMMMMM... not a bad idea.." ::funbles around on the consol:: " Everyone grab a pair of grav boots from the nearest suit locker in your sections and report in.. BUT DO IT FAST!!! or were going to run out of air to breath.. And while your at it the first person that see's intent. KNOCK that idiot out and strap a pair on him to!! you can let him keep burning if you like as well."

3 Apr 2002, 13:51

*Paul takes out a pocket size tissue and cleans off all the yoghrt Kama actually managed to hit him with. Then shoves some boots and other related paraphanailia on.*

Gryffin · 3 Apr 2002, 21:00

*Gryffin doesn't hear the anouncement, as he is having way to much fun to care.*

Evil_Ginge · 3 Apr 2002, 21:05

*ginge puts on his oxygen mask with a infinate supply of oxygen and continues to have fun

4 Apr 2002, 00:50

*wo2's sensors sees a mobile fire running through the ship*

odd *wo2 sends 10 highpressurewaterhose Bots after it to put it out.*

4 Apr 2002, 05:48

<ooc> speeds up time a bit<ooc>

*Recieves what appears to be a compleat all clear minus Gyrffin (dosnt notice) and triggers the active chemicals in the salt vapor throughout the ship ::Instantly the Yogurts being to break down to its normal form and melt:: then blows the Bulkheads in the fire ridden corradors and various highly infested yogurt locations of the ship.. :: WHOOOOSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... FFFFFFFSSSSHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTTTT.. SLLLLLLLLUUUUUUUURRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPPP:: is heard as the ship undergoes a conroled decompression and yogurt is sucked into the vacume of space, which takes care of alot of cleaning duties, and the plasma fires are extinguished.. The computer signals an all clear of sencient yogurt life forms and the Bulk heads close while Oxygen is pumped back into the ship rapidly.. "All hands.. It is now safe to return your gear to its designated area.. dispatch cleanup bots and personel to needed decks.. Thank you for your cooperation.. Midi Out" *

Evil_Ginge · 4 Apr 2002, 09:10

*ginge walks back up to the bridge and sits in his second in command chair, next to the captains and waits for the next idiotic thing to happen

4 Apr 2002, 16:41

*Paul is confused by the announcement as he doesn't have a designated place.*
I eat a lot so I think I'll head to the kitchen.

KraKto$is8 · 4 Apr 2002, 17:01

[ooc] i can confirm that yoghurt is carbon-based [/ooc]

"I have a designated area? Wow!"

* KraK runs about looking for it *

J-Kama-Ka-C · 4 Apr 2002, 18:46

*The captain still clinging on to the nearest bulkhead for dear life eventually opens his eyes, dusts himself down and heads up to the bridge, sits in his big big chair and calls for a report from the engine room
"did the fire cause us much damage?"

Gryffin · 4 Apr 2002, 21:09

*Gryffin completely missed everything that happened outside the room he was in, but was fortunate enough to seal the place in with its own life support so that no-one else could get in. Any yoghurt that had been in the room, however, was eaten by a deranged monkey.*

5 Apr 2002, 05:46

*Midi reports back to the captain.." Negative.. no vital systems were damages.. just a few panels and pathways.. one section of the deck it originaited on has lost artifical gravity.. and besides that just a scorched lenth of corradors that needs new carpets and paint.."*