Planetarion Forums - The star ship Idiot

Evil_Ginge · 23 Feb 2002, 21:47

"SIR LETS GET THE HELL AWAY FROM THE STAR, IF WE'RE NOT AT LEAST THE DISTANCE WHICH I SAID AWAY WE WILL ALL DIE"

J-Kama-Ka-C · 23 Feb 2002, 21:48

"Commander Ginge, I don't think some popcorn is going to cause this star to go Nova, but you're the weapons expert. Dave, take us out past the fourth planet"

Evil_Ginge · 23 Feb 2002, 21:52

"do you have any idea on how big a supernova is sir, the fourth planet will not be far enough, the distance i said is 1000 light years away sir, we can fire the torps when we are at the fouth planet but we will have to keep going"

(and i took the time and trouble to actually work out that distance)

J-Kama-Ka-C · 23 Feb 2002, 22:00

(Sure about that number, I means it would take 1000 years to reach that radius... From member I definately recall something like it would take 5 minutes or so for someone on Earth to see the sun go out, and then about that time further it would engulf the inner planets. The solar system is no where near 1 light year wide and I doubt the sun would make it all the way to Pluto/Neptune's orbit. Of course I'm never 100% certain)

23 Feb 2002, 22:03

Magus scratches his head...

Gryffin · 23 Feb 2002, 22:04

*Gryffin appears on the bridge behind Ginge.*

"Um. He is achually right for a change, sir. I also advise we get out of here really rather quickly."

Evil_Ginge · 23 Feb 2002, 22:10

"as it is now at least two to one sir i suggest we move, light may take a long time to move that far but it still would reach that far sir"

(and the sun when it eventually finishes its current cycle will explode and engulf all of the the planets, leaving a nebula ring)

23 Feb 2002, 22:13

ooc/ Why is everyone doing my "appears" thing? IT WAS MY BAD RPING SKILL!!! But... then again... it must be acceptable on the Star Ship Idiot /ooc

Magus appears behind Kama making faces...

J-Kama-Ka-C · 23 Feb 2002, 22:24

*J-Kama-Ka-C glares at Magus and motions him to a console in the science section
"Watch the display capture and when you see the star glow so bright it burns the eyes from your skull let us know"
*Weighing things up in his head he comes to the conclusion they should ask the main computer how far back they need to be, but then uses his better judge ment and flips a coin for it
One coin flip later
"Alright Ginge we'll take the safe route. Helm take us back 250 parsecs, if it looks like we're in trouble, take us a further 50.... hmm so any idea how we're going to get the popcorn back after the nova vaporises it... or come to think of it, how the popcorn can make it go Supernova"

(I think we can assume this average joe star isn't a red giant, or what ever the massively volitile ones are)

23 Feb 2002, 22:27

a wormhole opens a badly damaged ship crawls out of it
"mayday ... mayday ... mayd..."
the ship explodes. All onboard are killed, including Captain Tintirithni
[ooc]shortest survival time of any character that ever existed[/ooc]

23 Feb 2002, 22:29

Magus walks over to the control thingy after using the spawn-o-matic...

A new tintirithni was created...

23 Feb 2002, 22:32

*wo2 scans the rubble*

HEY HE HAD A FISH SANDWICH

23 Feb 2002, 22:34

"wh ... where am i? where'd all the naked winged women with harps go? NO!! this is the world again!! WHO BROUGHT ME BACK TO LIFE?!?!"
*tintirithni picks up a gun that very conveniently happened to be sitting on a console next to where he was standing, and shoots himself in the head*
"oh hell, isn't suicide a mortal s..."
*tintirithni dies*

Evil_Ginge · 23 Feb 2002, 22:36

* tintirithni gets respawned again

23 Feb 2002, 22:42

Magus throws tintirithni into a big black box
He cuts a hole in the box and grabs a bunson burner and some magnesium...

He places the magnesium over the flame until it goes luminius....
Magus covers his mouth and starts saying "Walk into the light"

Evil_Ginge · 23 Feb 2002, 22:46

*ginge cuts a hole in the opposite side of the box and puts a red flare through then says in a fairly daemonic voice

"no come to this light, you belong with us"

23 Feb 2002, 22:51

ooc/ LOL /ooc

"If you come here I'll give you several whores...."
Magus ponders....
"NO!!!!!! Prostution is a sin!!!"
Magus pushes him tword the flare...
"I didn't want you in paradice anyways..."

23 Feb 2002, 22:59

tintirithni looks at magus
"you don't sound like God - his voice is ... bigger ... than yours. And the black paint is peeling off the inside of this box. Nice try though."
tintirithni steps out of the box
"i am tintirithni, captain ... formerly ... of the Star Ship Moron. Er, which exploded ... i don't suppose you need more crew? I used to be a security officer ... oh, and could you rescue my pet fish sandwich? it was my wife's, before she ran away with a spoon. She was a dish."

J-Kama-Ka-C · 23 Feb 2002, 23:05

*Shrugs
"...yeah why not, you'll find the security uniform somewhere near the brig, you can't miss it, the name tag should still read Krak, but he's a felt tip, you can design yourself a new one"
*Pushes him into the lift then turns back to the bridge crew
"So when you think I can expect my popcorn?"

23 Feb 2002, 23:13

tintirithni wanders down to the brig and puts on his new uniform. Taking the felt tip he neatly crosses out "krak" and writes "i am tintirithni, fear me"
spotting the keys to a weapons locker, tintirithni arms himself with thirty nine assorted weapons and as much ammo and grenades as he can carry, wondering:
"now why did i ever quit this job?"
outloud:
"teehee. teeheehee. teeheeheeheeMUWAHAHA!!!"

Maniacal_Intent · 24 Feb 2002, 01:30

Intent walks onto the bridge, well technically its called unsteady staggering but walking is close enough.

Spotting the captain he weaves over in an unsteadt manner and makes eye contact, or tries to the captain's face keeps slipping sideways for some odd reason.

"Hey there, what's..happening...someone stole all the popcorn"

24 Feb 2002, 02:07

Magus starts slaming his hands on the science officer controls...

Evil_Ginge · 24 Feb 2002, 10:36

*ginge sits down in his comfortable second in command's chair on the bridge

J-Kama-Ka-C · 24 Feb 2002, 11:41

*The captain paces around the bridge for a moment, then stops for a moment looks up, then starts to pace in the opposite direction
"Ready a stop at the nearest farm planet, we need to restock our supply of corn"

Demon Dave · 24 Feb 2002, 12:16

"you know there is an easier way of making popcorn"

*DD finds a small piece of popcorn on the floor and puts it in the spawn-o-matic. soon the ridge is full of warm popcorn and DD is swimming through it, taking large mouthfulls along the way*

"WEEEEEEEEE *munch* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE *munch munch* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *munch*"

24 Feb 2002, 15:02

*tintirithni walks onto the bridge, stooping a little under the weight of all his weaponry*
"Popcorn invasion!!!!!"
tintirithni pulls out every weapon, two at a time and unloads them all into the popcorn, throwing grenades periodically, until he runs completely out of ammo.
*consoles are destroyed, the floor is holed in many places, the walls and ceiling are all burned and holed. Bodies lie scattered across the remains of the bridge*
tintirithni views the destruction
"hmm, maybe i went a little OTT. Oh well. Oh bugger, is that the remains of the respawn machine over there in the corner?"
*thinks*: "oops"

Evil_Ginge · 24 Feb 2002, 15:09

*ginge raises himself from the reck of his chair and physically drags tintirithni all the way down several flights of stairs and throws him into a cell

"computer lock door and erase all access codes for tintirithni immediatly, oh and erect a force feild"

*ginge goes back up to the bridge, repairs the respawn machine and activates it, the crew are alive several seconds after that

24 Feb 2002, 15:44

*tintirithni walks into the force field, gets annihilated and respawns on the bridge*
"sorry 'bout that ... er ... you see, the spoon that ran away with my wife - she was a real dish, did i tell you that? - was full of popcorn. Now i go mad when i see it. Second chance? i'll be good ... and i DID get all the popcorn, right?"

Evil_Ginge · 24 Feb 2002, 16:17

(the forcefeild is a non-leathal one ok)

*tintirithni gets teleported instantly back into the cell

24 Feb 2002, 16:26

*tintirithni uses his comlink to relay message (read above post for message) *

Demon Dave · 24 Feb 2002, 16:33

"i don't believe it, he's only gone and destroyed the nav console again thats all!!!!! what are we going to do now?"

J-Kama-Ka-C · 24 Feb 2002, 16:34

*The captain looks gobsmacked and gleeful all at once, having just widness more popcorn than he could dream, then being wiped out in a faster time than he thought possible. He hurries over to a hole in the floor and jumps down to see if any popcorn make an escape

24 Feb 2002, 16:41

"anybody listening! i demand a phonecall!"

25 Feb 2002, 00:56

*Midi radio's the brigde.. " Ok, WHAT IDIOT PUT THE HOLES IN THE BRIGDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?" Midi pulls out a Current stick marked "Woop Ass"*

Maniacal_Intent · 25 Feb 2002, 05:03

Crawling out from behind the viewscreen Intent takes his seat at his newly spawned Comm console and starts changing intergalctic phone numbers.

Demon Dave · 25 Feb 2002, 16:30

*DD replies to Midi over the radio*

"it was tin, he's in the brig if you'd like to pay him a visit. and when you've finished that you can come and fix my nav console, again"

25 Feb 2002, 19:00

"I demand to see a lawyer!"

Evil_Ginge · 25 Feb 2002, 20:30

*ginge walks down to the brig

"no you can't have a layer as they were all brutally slaughtered yesterday for being too vague, so shut up"

25 Feb 2002, 21:14

*"Thanx DD" Midi wonders down to the brig..
"OK, which one of you is Tintin!?!?!" relizing theres only one male in the brig and a femail... "Eh we havnt released her yet.. hmm.." Midi smacks the stick on the back of his leg...*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 25 Feb 2002, 21:14

*The captain's voice echo's up from the hole in the bridge floor
"...erm, there doesn't seem to be any popcorn, and this room is awfully poorly lit and doesn't appear to have any doors or windows... could someone help me out? hello..."

Demon Dave · 25 Feb 2002, 23:03

*A hand is stuck in the hole and DD's voice is heard*

"Grab hold, i'll pull you up and make some more popcorn"

Maniacal_Intent · 26 Feb 2002, 00:04

Finishing with his act of electronic vandalism Intent starts scanning the comm channels like he's supposed too. Finding a good radio station he plays it through his headset and zones out.

26 Feb 2002, 00:13

All crew members there is now free Icecream in the Mess hall!

J-Kama-Ka-C · 26 Feb 2002, 00:14

*Grabbing hold of Dave and trying to pull himself up he only manages to pull Dave down into the room with him...

Maniacal_Intent · 26 Feb 2002, 00:44

Jolted out of his trance Intent takes off the headset and looks about for the thing that alerted him. Seeing nothing he plays back wo2's last message.

"Now free ice cream in the mes--"

Not waiting for the message to finish he hightails it to the galley as fast as he can

26 Feb 2002, 02:02

*wo2 activates the automated ice cream serving robots*

Demon Dave · 26 Feb 2002, 18:42

"ARGH!!!!!!! now i'm going to miss the free Ice Cream!!!!!!!!"

*DD claws desperatly at the wall and trys to climb out*

26 Feb 2002, 20:12

*wo2 activates the ventialtion systems to spew out icecream in Demon Daves cell*

26 Feb 2002, 20:38

*Paul can't remember what day of the week it is, them he remembers he's in space and it doesn't have any relevance at all.*

J-Kama-Ka-C · 26 Feb 2002, 20:51

"mmm... icecream... hey Dave, you think we can float ourselves out of this room... or shall we just eat all the ice cream..."