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Unread 30 Jan 2008, 21:47   #1
Phang
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in a pub, so is jesus

my local is hosting a Christian Union meeting tonight. it's very loud. i only came for the free wifi (demonstrated here) and fancy cider. They're explaining "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" very slowly to the assembled masses, as if to tiny children. The audience are enraptured.


I want them quiet or in pain.


That's it really. Sup?
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Unread 30 Jan 2008, 21:55   #2
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

mention apollonius of tyana and watch them go blank. Call the christ by his real name Joshua bar Joseph. If pushed refer to him as a well intentioned rabbi who clearly valued the cult of Isis and the cult of Mithras.

If that fails talk about how moses and exodus are clearly just the refugees of Amarna.
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Unread 30 Jan 2008, 21:59   #3
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

Or just set the building on fire. That would be quite a laugh. Unless they won't burn and end up being saved miraculously, then you'll have to comfort yourself with the thought that someone else will in 50 years.

Our local pub burned down some time ago after some bouncers (yes, sad) wouldn't let some people in because they arrived too late (if that's even possible at a pub). Everyone from around knows that the clock they use stands still on a few mins after closing time tho. So it ended up in a fight, with the kids losing ofcourse, and the following morning the pub was gone (haha kids have no sense of humour).

The people that actually burned the building down never got caught. Strange isn't it?
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Last edited by Alessio; 30 Jan 2008 at 22:41.
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Unread 30 Jan 2008, 22:48   #4
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

Nothing like a measured response to a perceived insult.
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Unread 30 Jan 2008, 23:24   #5
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
tried to cover my face with my hands.
For many individuals, this is the only sensible course of action.
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Unread 31 Jan 2008, 10:30   #6
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

I looked at horn's face, and I understood.
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The outraged poets threw sticks and rocks over the side of the bridge. They were all missing Mary and he felt a contented smug feeling wash over him. He would have given them a coy little wave if the roof hadn't collapsed just then. Mary then found himself in the middle of an understandably shocked family's kitchen table. So he gave them the coy little wave and realized it probably would have been more effective if he hadn't been lying on their turkey.
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Unread 31 Jan 2008, 17:08   #7
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Exclamation Re: in a pub, so is jesus

Get drunk and swear very loudly before telling a ludicrously obscene joke about Jeremy Beadle before reminding them that it was their idea to hold the ****ing thing in the pub to begin with.

Also, Phang is a liar.
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Unread 31 Jan 2008, 17:28   #8
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

What post?
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The outraged poets threw sticks and rocks over the side of the bridge. They were all missing Mary and he felt a contented smug feeling wash over him. He would have given them a coy little wave if the roof hadn't collapsed just then. Mary then found himself in the middle of an understandably shocked family's kitchen table. So he gave them the coy little wave and realized it probably would have been more effective if he hadn't been lying on their turkey.
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Unread 31 Jan 2008, 17:49   #9
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

I can see it. I hadn't heard the expression "EVILution" before. I'm amused.
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Unread 31 Jan 2008, 23:43   #10
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

The first one is genius, pure genius.
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Unread 8 Feb 2008, 02:16   #11
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

Wtf, are you all on acid?
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Unread 8 Feb 2008, 10:39   #12
Mzyxptlk
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus

Thread ruined by horn's internet suicide.
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The outraged poets threw sticks and rocks over the side of the bridge. They were all missing Mary and he felt a contented smug feeling wash over him. He would have given them a coy little wave if the roof hadn't collapsed just then. Mary then found himself in the middle of an understandably shocked family's kitchen table. So he gave them the coy little wave and realized it probably would have been more effective if he hadn't been lying on their turkey.
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