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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 08:28   #1
Nusselt
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new job interview

god i hate this, you go into an unfamiliar environment where everyone already is a family and you feel like a muppet waiting to be called


wish me luck
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 09:27   #2
JC
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Re: new job interview

Good luck dude!

What's the job?
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 09:43   #3
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Re: new job interview

just be confident, honest and friendly. Act like you're part of the family already and they'll think "this is the kind of person we want".
Also - "It's not what you say but the way that you say it" definately applies.

Good luck though
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 09:52   #4
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Re: new job interview

be charming, be HUGELY charming.

it works like, well, a charm.
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 11:53   #5
Embroglio
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Re: new job interview

it's time like this that make me glad i'm too stupid to get jobs that actually have interviews
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 13:10   #6
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Re: new job interview

The thing I hate about interviews is the "What do you see as your weaknesses?" question... I've always wondered if there really is a correct way to answer...
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 13:19   #7
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Re: new job interview

One job interview I attended was for a technical position. At some point during the interview I started quoting particular dates and references for a particular procedure. It was at this point one of the interviewers quipped "Don`t get technical now." Hang on a minute I thought, I am applying for a technical post. Strange thing to have said really.
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 14:27   #8
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Re: new job interview

Quote:
Originally Posted by Che
The thing I hate about interviews is the "What do you see as your weaknesses?" question... I've always wondered if there really is a correct way to answer...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Spud
No. Well, yes. I have to admit it: I'm a perfectionist. For me, it's the best or nothing at all.
A few pointers can be found here:

Quote:
INT. INTERVIEW OFFICE. DAY

A Woman and Two Men (1 and 2) are interviewing Renton. His job application form is on the desk in front of them.


MAN 1
Well, Mr. Renton, I see that you attended the Royal Edinburgh College.
RENTON
Indeed, yes, those halcyon days.
MAN 1
One of Edinburgh's finest schools.
RENTON
Oh, yes, indeed. I look back on my time there with great fondness and affection. The debating society, the first eleven, the soft know of willow on leather --
MAN 1
I'm an old boy myself, you know?
RENTON
Oh, really?
MAN 1
Do you recall the school motto?
RENTON
Of course, the motto, the motto --
MAN 1
Strive, hope, believe and conquer.
RENTON
Exactly. Those very words have been my guiding light in what is, after all, a dark and often hostile world.
Renton looks pious under scrutiny.


MAN 2
Mr. Renton --
RENTON
Yes.
MAN 2
You seem eminently suited to this post but I wonder if you could explain the gaps in your employment record?
RENTON
Yes, I can. The truth -- well, the truth is that I've had a long-standing problem with heroin addiction. I've been know to sniff it, smoke it, swallow it, stick it up my arse and inject it into my veins. I've been trying to combat this addiction, but unless you count social security scams and shoplifting, I haven't had a regular job in years. I feel it's important to mention this.
There is silence.

A paper clip crashes to the floor.

--------

INT. OFFICE. DAY

The same office. The same team are interviewing Spud.


SPUD
No, actually I went to Craignewton but I was worried that you wouldn't have heard of it so I put the Royal Edinburgh College instead, because they're both schools, right, and we're all in this together, and I wanted to put across the general idea rather than the details, yeah? People get all hung up on details, but what's the point? Like which school? Does it matter? Why? When? Where? Or how many O grades did I get? Could be six, could be one, but that's not important. What's important is that I am, right? That I am.
MAN 1
Mr. Murphy, do you mean that you lied on your application?
SPUD
Only to get my foot in the door. Showing initiative, right?
MAN 1
You were referred here by the Department of Employment. There's no need for you to get you "foot in the door", as you put it.
SPUD
Hey. Right. No problem. Whatever you say, man. You're the man, the governor, the dude in the chair, like. I'm merely here. But obviously I am. Here, that is. I hope I'm not talking too much. I don't usually. I think it's all important though, isn't it?
MAN 2
Mr. Murphy, what attracts you to the leisure industry?
SPUD
In a word, pleasure. My pleasure in other people's leisure.
---------


WOMAN
What do you see as your main strengths?
SPUD
I love people. All people. Even people that no one else loves, I think they're OK, you know. Like Beggars.
WOMAN
Homeless people?
SPUD
No, not homeless people. Beggars, Francis Begbie -- one of my mates. I wouldn't say my best mate, I mean, sometimes the boy goes over the score, like one time when we -- me and him -- were having a laugh and all of a sudden he's ****ing gubbed me in the face, right --
---------


WOMAN
Mr. Murphy, {leaving your friend aside,} do you see yourself as having any weaknesses?
SPUD
No. Well, yes. I have to admit it: I'm a perfectionist. For me, it's the best or nothing at all. If things go badly, I can't be bothered, but I have a good feeling about this interview. Seems to me like it's gone pretty well. We've touched on a lot of subjects, a lot of things to think about, for all of us.
MAN 1
Thank you, Mr. Murphy. We'll let you know.
SPUD
The pleasure was mine. Best interview I've ever been to. Thanks.
Spud crosses the room to shake everyone by the hand and kiss them.


RENTON
(v.o)
Spud had done well. I was proud of him. He ****ed up good and proper.
--------
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 16:16   #9
Nusselt
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Re: new job interview

Went okish, HR lady was a complete bitch having the last bits of her period and waiting impatiently for the menopause to come, she also didn't get enough cock and was entirely bitter and twisted about how her life had turned out.


Btw saying im a perfectionist is one of the worst and most cringeworthy replies you can make, if you're going for a technically position and you're interviwers are HR without an inclinging of what the job is really about just say something technical like

'my two bit ram http cobol plus plus* knowledge was a little lacking but i kept up with the industry developments by reading magazine/paper and am now completely up to speed'

the pointy end interviewers (ie the ones you'll work next to) normally couldn't give a flying midget about what your personal weaknesses are whether you like to dress in your mother's panties at the weekend, all they want to know is will you do the job.

*something credible





/edit realise you may just have been joking with the perfectionist stuff
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 18:29   #10
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Re: new job interview

Instead of perfectionism, how about: "Puntuality, really. I'm always to work way to early and just can't seem to leave on time. I tried to work on this once but found that I just always enjoy my work so much I just can't give up the extra time."
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 18:32   #11
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Re: new job interview

I think when asked my weakness I said I'm sometimes too nice. It worked
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 18:36   #12
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Re: new job interview

i usually say gin
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 20:16   #13
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Re: new job interview

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusselt
Went okish, HR lady was a complete bitch having the last bits of her period and waiting impatiently for the menopause to come, she also didn't get enough cock and was entirely bitter and twisted about how her life had turned out.
You're saying this as if you know the poor lady....
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Unread 5 Aug 2005, 20:55   #14
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Re: new job interview

I had a job interview about a fortnight ago and I got a job from. If they say "What are your negotiating skills like?" it usually* means you have to start haggling over your future wage so don't let yourself get beaten down.



* unless you're joining the hostage rescue team
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