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27 Feb 2005, 18:04
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#1
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Alfie
I saw Alfie last night. It was decidedly mediocre.
Anyway, one of the sub-plots was that his best friend split up with his girlfriend, but wanted her back. Alfie went to talk to her, but ended up sleeping with her.
The upside of this was that, for some reason, she got back with the best friend, and all was well. The downside was that Alfie had betrayed his best friend, and also got the girl pregnant.
Anyway, in a horribly twist of irony, the same thing happened to me last night (kind of?).
My ex girlfriend - Anna - went out to the guild. I knew some of my friends were going (I was invited) and knew they knew each other vaguely. Anyway, one of my best friends rang me this morning apologising for snogging her.
I was a bit choked up, but said ok and made an excuse to hang up. I then spoke to a few people who were there (mutual friends) and apparently it wasn't just a quick snog, it was all night. Then I found out he actually went back to hers (although what happened in the bedroom, who knows).
I rang him back and had a huge go at him. I don't know what I'm feeling now. I'm completely screwed up, but I can't pinpoint why. I think part of it is that the two of them are the two people I'd go to when I'm upset or need advice - and they're the two who have made me upset.
I don't want to get back with Anna. We broke up over a month ago. That isn't the point though. Out of all the people there, why did she have to choose my friend? (incidentally, he's fat and not very attractive, which is what adds to my bewilderment factor) And why did he have to do that to me?
I feel horribly betrayed, and now whenever I think of a nice memory I had with her - I picture him where I should be. The idea of the two of them in her bedroom (which I still view as "our place - her and mine" - as I half- lived there for a few months) just sickens me.
I feel so crappy. And I don't know what to do. I know I've been on a date and seen a girl*, but it still hurts that my ex and friend will do this to me. It's not like Anna and I even argued - we were still friends and it was only 3-4 days ago she rang me up upset about something and I consoled her down the phone.
So yeah. I don't really want any advice. I just wanted to offload all this onto somebody. Don't take the piss of out me - please. I know perfectly well that in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter, and I'll get over it. I just thought my life was going pretty well at the moment. I didn't deserve this, I'm sure of that.
* (which Anna knows about... part of me wonders if this is some kind of attention grabbing stunt - but she isn't like that. but then i didn't think she was capable of this either)
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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27 Feb 2005, 18:17
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#2
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: Alfie
been there myself.
YOU AREN'T TOGETHER ANY MORE.
Your friend apologised - he knows he did something wrong. It's not his fault though.
Saying she isn't like that - she's a girl, they're all like that
It's harsh, but it's for the best in the long run.
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27 Feb 2005, 18:27
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#3
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Cynical Optimist
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Solihull / University of Warwick
Posts: 502
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Re: Alfie
Had one of my mates get off with my ex when he came up to my uni to visit me.
Not very nice, but just had to forget about it. Was very pissed off at the time tho, but he was buggering off around the world the next day so I ended up ignoring it around him and just being angry at her. Which kinda sucks as we were just starting to get on again 'properly' but hey, just kinda emphasised that she really wasn't worth it.
That and my mate does have a reputation for going with anyone once he's had 'a few' (ugly or just 'a bad idea'. But yes, standing there watching in disbelief. Not nice. Not the same, I know. We weren't going out for that long and (as far as I know (!) ) nothing went on in 'the bedroom', (frankly that's what I would prefer to believe.)
So yes, very rambling but yeah, I was very pissed off. A combination of apathy, and realising that it was a good thing we weren't together, made a good combination for me.
Still sucks tho man :/
Edit:
Oh and good mates (even stupid ones) >> ex girlfriends
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27 Feb 2005, 18:40
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#4
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: Alfie
He broke the rule of the ex and I'd be pissed off too.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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27 Feb 2005, 18:42
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#5
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: Alfie
it sucks but it happened, at least he rang you to tell you befoe you learned from anyone else, which should count for something.
i would take his word for it about nothing happening in the bedroom, the question you have to ask yourself is, is this worth losing a friend over?
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lazy
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27 Feb 2005, 18:43
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#6
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: Alfie
Quote:
Originally Posted by roadrunner_0
i would take his word for it about nothing happening in the bedroom, the question you have to ask yourself is, is this worth losing a friend over?
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Or you can ask, "would a good mate do that?"
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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27 Feb 2005, 18:45
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#7
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: Alfie
*shrug* everyone makes mistakes
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lazy
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27 Feb 2005, 18:45
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#8
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Cynical Optimist
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Solihull / University of Warwick
Posts: 502
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Re: Alfie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Or you can ask, "would a good mate do that?"
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Even good mates can be stupid twonks, esp. when drunk.
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27 Feb 2005, 21:09
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#9
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,332
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Re: Alfie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
why did he have to do that to me?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
incidentally, he's fat and not very attractive
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Desperate maybe?
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27 Feb 2005, 22:06
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#10
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Choice of Whacker sir?
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Ireland
Posts: 679
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Re: Alfie
dude you aren't going out with her and thus you can't be angry
Your mate is a different story, he shouldn't have gone near her, but he did.
At least he told you first and apologised, rather than it coming from someone else.
My advice is forget about it and get yourself some dappy bint who is drop dead gorgeous and show her off a little (biut like a trophy wife)
tsm
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* thanos sets mode: -brain The_Shadow_Man
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27 Feb 2005, 22:26
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#11
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: Alfie
I pulled (just snogged) an ex of my best mate once.
It was at his 20th birthday "party".
I was described at the time by one person as "the most drunk person i've ever seen still standing"
!!!PLAYA PLAYA!!!
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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27 Feb 2005, 22:26
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#12
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Twisted
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Down with the sickness
Posts: 2,484
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Re: Alfie
This sucks, and neither is any more to blame than the other. You don't snog/whatever your mates ex and you don't snog/whatever your ex's mate.
I have what's possibly a worse story though. (Not involving me thankfully) One of my mates had broken up with his gf of 2 years. Things were amicable, they were still friends, they had just decided that they wanted different things out of life and it was better to split than to prolong the agony. Anyway about a month after this it was my mates younger brothers birthday, so they were all out in Glasgow. They bumped into Rebecca (the ex) - my mate chatted to her a bit then his brothers group decided to move on to the next pub - so he said see ya later and off he went. Half way to the next pub he realised his little brother wasn't there. He'll catch up he thought. Got to next pub. No sign of little brother. Little brother shagged ex girlfriend. Much shouting and anger ensued as you can imagine. :eek:
__________________
Me
In my sleep I grind my teeth.
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27 Feb 2005, 22:34
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#13
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Cynical Optimist
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Solihull / University of Warwick
Posts: 502
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Re: Alfie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I pulled (just snogged) an ex of my best mate once.
It was at his 20th birthday "party".
I was described at the time by one person as "the most drunk person i've ever seen still standing"
!!!PLAYA PLAYA!!!
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Comedy "Was she even old enough to be somewhere serving alcohol" post
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27 Feb 2005, 22:38
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#14
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: Alfie
yes
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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27 Feb 2005, 22:38
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#15
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Cynical Optimist
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Solihull / University of Warwick
Posts: 502
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Re: Alfie
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
yes
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Then it's official
Dace is a playa'
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27 Feb 2005, 22:40
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#16
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Alfie
how odd and proprietry your relationships with those you've shagged.
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hi
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