Planetarion Forums

Blastoderm · 18 Aug 2005, 01:37

but I couldn't find the thread for it. So here it goes:

Would you embark on a relationship with someone if you & the other person know it won't last for long and even if you love the person and that person loves you too?

Yahwe · 18 Aug 2005, 02:08

yes

'know it won't last for long' is no different from 'know that the other will die'

if you mean you. please do it. any happiness, even a brief one, is a truly wonderful thing.

Deffeh · 18 Aug 2005, 03:25

why not? id rather read about you whining its over rather than whining it never happened.

pig · 18 Aug 2005, 08:47

yes id do it.

roadrunner_0 · 18 Aug 2005, 09:54

yes, it's worth it.

furball · 18 Aug 2005, 10:14

Yes, I would. But why won't it last for long?

Dante Hicks · 18 Aug 2005, 10:16

Of course it's worth it.

Am in a situation like that now, in fact.

pyirt · 18 Aug 2005, 10:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by roadrunner_0

yes, it's worth it.

MAdnRisKy · 18 Aug 2005, 10:23

holiday romances rock !

Cooling · 18 Aug 2005, 10:26

The frantic glamour of youth.

Make the most of it.

Stew · 18 Aug 2005, 10:34

No I wouldn't.

NEWSBOT3 · 18 Aug 2005, 10:39

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

No I wouldn't.

of course you wouldn't

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...0&postcount=26

Stew · 18 Aug 2005, 10:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by NEWSBOT3

of course you wouldn't

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...0&postcount=26

Well yes, but besides that, I'd know that the whole way through the brief relationship I'd be anticipating the inevitable pain at the end. Therefore in the period, my happiness would be much less than it should be, and consequently, in marginal sadness at the end would be greater than marginal utility from said relationship hence deeming the decision to be negative.

Dante Hicks · 18 Aug 2005, 10:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

I'd be anticipating the inevitable pain at the end.

Is this your attitude to life generally?

Stew · 18 Aug 2005, 10:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

Is this your attitude to life generally?

Not really , just relationships.
It's petty and irrational I know but it's something I can't shake off. Maybe, if I'm really honest to myself, I keep it up because it has some benefits, but it really would have to me "Ms Perfect" for want of a better phrase, coming along to break the depressive, lonely cycle.

Marilyn Manson · 18 Aug 2005, 11:08

I have really 'gone off' most relationships. In fact, I considered going celibate a while back. I've been functionally celibate for quite some time now, but I just thought making it 'official' might, er, do something.

Marilyn Manson · 18 Aug 2005, 11:14

And I find the question entirely odd, btw. If you loved someone - really loved someone - then you would have an expectation to carry the relationship on as long as possible. How would you know it wouldn't last long? Why would it last only for a short period of time if there was real love in such a relationship?

It's a really bad question, as far as hypothetical questions go. Can't really follow it.

roadrunner_0 · 18 Aug 2005, 11:24

there shouldn't be pain at the end if you know it's going to end at a specific point for a specific reason

Dante Hicks · 18 Aug 2005, 11:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

How would you know it wouldn't last long?

It could be practical issues - e.g. one person is (say) only in the country for a year studying and will then be going home. The question becomes fairly reasonable if you consider it in that light.

Marilyn Manson · 18 Aug 2005, 11:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

It could be practical issues - e.g. one person is (say) only in the country for a year studying and will then be going home. The question becomes fairly reasonable if you consider it in that light.

I wouldn't consider a relationship like that a truly loving one. If you did love the person, and they loved you, then you would would be utterly determined to continue the relationship somehow. You wouldn't let 'practical problems' get in the way of that. The sort of thing you describe seems more like a fling really.

Dante Hicks · 18 Aug 2005, 11:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I wouldn't consider a relationship like that a truly loving one.

That's a pretty strict definition of love then. You do not necessarily have to believe that you will be with someone for your entire life to be in love with them. I'd imagine it'd be easy to fall in love with someone who you expected to live a lot shorter than period than yourself for instance (i.e. they were older than you, they were dying of some sort of disease, etc).

I have been in two major relationships in my adult life. In the first I (implicitly) believed that it would last forever. In the latter I knew it had a finite end-date. I cannot realistically say that I loved the former more than the latter (quite the opposite in fact).

Marilyn Manson · 18 Aug 2005, 11:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

That's a pretty strict definition of love then.

Well, yeah. I think 'love' is thrown around too much. A fair number of people will never really experience real love in their lives.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

You do not necessarily have to believe that you will be with someone for your entire life to be in love with them.

Oh, I agree. But I don't accept the idea that someone would easily abandon a loving relationship. I think it would have to be some sort of situation like you describe, where one person had a terminal illness. And the answer to that seems fairly obvious.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

In the latter I knew it had a finite end-date.

Why was that?

mrmao · 18 Aug 2005, 12:40

You know this is a easily answered question, Yes.

Stew · 18 Aug 2005, 12:57

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I have really 'gone off' most relationships.

I have gone off relationships, or to be more precise, people in them. I've decided my three biggest hates at the moment are, in reverse order:

3) People who are happy.
2) People who are happy and in a loving relationship.

And number 1..
1) People who are happy because they are in a loving relationship.

I was an usher at a mates wedding the other week, and even though I suppose I should have, I just couldn't watch things like first dance and other loved up moments.

Marilyn Manson · 18 Aug 2005, 13:00

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

I have gone off relationships, or to be more precise, people in them. I've decided my three biggest hates at the moment are, in reverse order:

3) People who are happy.
2) People who are happy and in a loving relationship.

And number 1..
1) People who are happy because they are in a loving relationship.

I was an usher at a mates wedding the other week, and even though I suppose I should have, I just couldn't watch things like first dance and other loved up moments.

I'm sensing great anger in you, young Stewalker.

Why do you hate these people? I don't hate them. I admire them.*

*Not in a freaky Kevin-Spacy-in-Seven 'I called at your home this morning.' way.

Stew · 18 Aug 2005, 13:05

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I'm sensing great anger in you, young Stewalker.

Why do you hate these people?

Jealousy.

Marilyn Manson · 18 Aug 2005, 13:16

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

Jealousy.

The shadow of greed, that is.

Seriously. If this is the case, then you need to find someone who loves you.

Stew · 18 Aug 2005, 13:18

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

The shadow of greed, that is.

Seriously. If this is the case, then you need to find someone who loves you.

Lets not get me on this subject, either in a jovial manner or a serious one - it's very dull for people and very emo.

NEWSBOT3 · 18 Aug 2005, 13:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

Lets not get me on this subject, either in a jovial manner or a serious one - it's very dull for people and very emo.

Stew · 18 Aug 2005, 13:22

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blastoderm

but I couldn't find the thread for it.

[1-X]
Is this what you were thinking of?
[/1-X]

Marilyn Manson · 18 Aug 2005, 13:25

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

Lets not get me on this subject, either in a jovial manner or a serious one - it's very dull for people and very emo.

I think you're hating yourself more than you're hating other people. I think you're looking for sympathy and someone who understands you, rather than love, neccesarily. You don't have to do this. You can just explain to people how you feel. You don't have to disguise it.

roadrunner_0 · 18 Aug 2005, 13:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

[1-X]
Is this what you were thinking of?
[/1-X]

wow, one of my old threads \o/

Stew · 18 Aug 2005, 13:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

I think you're hating yourself more than you're hating other people. I think you're looking for sympathy and someone who understands you, rather than love, neccesarily. You don't have to do this. You can just explain to people how you feel. You don't have to disguise it.

Are you trying to entice me into your lair?

Stew · 18 Aug 2005, 13:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by NEWSBOT3

Goodness, don't feel sad for me, I'm going to be rich.

Yahwe · 18 Aug 2005, 14:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

Goodness, don't feel sad for me, I'm going to be rich.

oh dear.

new money.

NEWSBOT3 · 18 Aug 2005, 15:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

Goodness, don't feel sad for me, I'm going to be rich.

I know, i'm hoping you'll remember my sympathy and buy me a villa in the cypriot mountains

vampire_lestat · 18 Aug 2005, 18:46

you should by jolt

.

dda · 18 Aug 2005, 18:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blastoderm

but I couldn't find the thread for it. So here it goes:

Would you embark on a relationship with someone if you & the other person know it won't last for long and even if you love the person and that person loves you too?

If you already love each other then the relationship is already embarked upon. That ship has sailed.

If you terminate the relationship now rather than when its time has run you will be no better off.
Love is always worthwhile.

Stew: keep a diary. At some point publish it as Stew's Diary. Get Hugh Grant to be in movie called Stew's Diary, then you can become REALLY rich.

Deepflow · 18 Aug 2005, 19:09

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blastoderm

but I couldn't find the thread for it. So here it goes:

Would you embark on a relationship with someone if you & the other person know it won't last for long and even if you love the person and that person loves you too?

Im pretty much doing that now, - the love, but still with significant emotional pain in the near future (i would imagine).

so in summary, yes.

Cannon_Fodder · 18 Aug 2005, 19:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blastoderm

Would you embark on a relationship with someone if you & the other person know it won't last for long and even if you love the person and that person loves you too?

In a heartbeat.

Tomkat · 18 Aug 2005, 22:36

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

Goodness, don't feel sad for me, I'm going to be rich.

Let's just hope Deloitte don't get banned from auditting in the UK

Blastoderm · 19 Aug 2005, 00:15

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

[1-X]
Is this what you were thinking of?
[/1-X]

That's the one!

Let me give you guys an idea on how this friendship/relationship is going.

Girl and I met in a train station through someone in 2002.

I started making moves for her in mid 2003.

We declared our feelings for each other in mid 2004 (though did nothing physically).

She goes to Oxford for uni the same year.

Still kept in touch and seen each other occasionally (whether be it in London or Oxford)

June 2005, we pulled for the first time.

She loves me. And I love her.

She thinks a (another) long distance relationship won't work because she was seeing someone who lived in Watford and met only once a year for a week. To be honest, I've seen her more than that (at least I work and can afford travelling expenses.... and so does she..... unlike her ex).

I'm slightly afraid of the pain that I might suffer if it didn't work out. (I think I can live with her saying no if she firmly believes it won't work out)

*sigh*

I think I might see her for lunch tomorrow and ask her out properly (Friday has always been my lucky day in life).

Yahwe · 19 Aug 2005, 00:20

nonsense. you'll be fine.

'long distance' indeed. take the tube.

clearly this other chap was a cad. you are most certainly not a cad.

furball · 19 Aug 2005, 00:31

Go for it. Love knows no bounds, except those you create.

Stew · 19 Aug 2005, 01:02

Quote:

Originally Posted by dda

Stew: keep a diary. At some point publish it as Stew's Diary. Get Hugh Grant to be in movie called Stew's Diary, then you can become REALLY rich.

But it'll be dull

I could involve various true stories about bridesmaids and younger-than-me colleagues but I won't.

Edit: TK, don't worry, all will be fine.

Marilyn Manson · 19 Aug 2005, 10:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stew

Are you trying to entice me into your lair?

No. I'm trying to force you to recognise that your life isn't really all that bad and you should stop complaining and indulging in pointless self-pity.

NEWSBOT3 · 19 Aug 2005, 11:03

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

No. I'm trying to force you to recognise that your life isn't really all that bad and you should stop complaining and indulging in pointless self-pity.

mm in not being all about the man-cock shocker