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14 Mar 2006, 18:40
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#51
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
ITALIAN BOY AT CONFESSION
Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman.
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Johnny Parisi?
Yes, Father it is.
And who was the woman you were with?
I can't tell you Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation.
Well, Johnny, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?
I cannot say.
Was it Teresa Volpe?
I'll never tell.
Was it Nina Capeli?
I'm sorry but I cannot name her.
Was it Cathy Piriano?
My lips are sealed.
Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?
Please, Father, I cannot tell you.
The priest sighs in frustration. You're very tight lipped, Johnny Parisi and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot attend church services for 4 months.
Now you go and behave yourself.
Johnny walks back to his pew, and his friend Nino slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five good leads....."
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:20
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#52
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
Jesus is walking and comes across an adultress being stoned. He stops the crowd and gives his little spiel.
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
A rock flies out of the crowd and hits the woman.
Jesus turns and says, "nobody likes a smartass, mum!"
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:21
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#53
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
A man walks into a sex shop and tells the woman behind the counter he's looking for a blow up doll.
The woman asks, "Would you like a Christian or a Muslim doll?"
Confused, the man says "What's the difference?"
"Well" replies the woman, "the Muslim one blows itself up".
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:21
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#54
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
How do you get a one armed Irishman out of a tree?
Wave
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:22
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#55
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
My parents went to New York on September the 11th and all I got back was a bloody t-shirt.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:22
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#56
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
Paedophiles are ****ing immature assholes
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:24
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#57
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
What's black and white and red all over?
Panda rape
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:24
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#58
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
Whats the difference between a cow and a hamster?
A cow survives branding.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:26
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#59
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
A woman is in hospital giving birth. The baby comes out and the doctor says, "I've got good news and bad news for you."
The woman says, "give me the bad news first."
The doctor says, "your baby is stillborn."
Woman, "Oh my God, what on earth is the good news?"
The doc says, "It was ginger
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:27
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#60
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: A man enters a bar...
STOP ****ING SPAMMING CRAP JOKES FROM http://www.b3ta.com/ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S REALLY ****ING ANNOYING!!!!!!
__________________
hi
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15 Mar 2006, 19:28
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#61
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
STOP ****ING SPAMMING CRAP JOKES FROM http://www.b3ta.com/ !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S REALLY ****ING ANNOYING!!!!!!
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Theyre not from b3ta.com
Besides , its a slow evening.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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15 Mar 2006, 19:31
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#62
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: A man enters a bar...
9 posts in a row is time to stop.
__________________
hi
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15 Mar 2006, 19:31
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#63
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USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
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Re: A man enters a bar...
Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
why did the egg cross the road ?
because there was no cress left !!!
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During my recent trial, I asked one of the police witnesses:
"Why did the officer cross the road?"
__________________
Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
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15 Mar 2006, 19:32
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#64
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: A man enters a bar...
Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
During my recent trial, I asked one of the police witnesses:
"Why did the officer cross the road?"
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And how many jurors grinned? (edit : Wont let me say Sn_iggered , due to that word in the middle)
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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