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1 May 2006, 03:23
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#1
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Back from timeout.
Join Date: May 2002
Posts: 901
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Last Nail in the Coffin
I have now officially broken up my roommate and his now ex-fiance.
He was going to do it anyway so before anyone bitches me out for being a dickhead just know that I kind of saved him the trouble of breaking up with her.
Facebook. I hardly use it these days but I did get a chuckle when I read this on a girls profile:
"Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "...that's her."
Hm. Well criticisms of this particular... (not sure what to call the above paragraph... delusion maybe?) aside, I decided to edit the above paragraph and post it on my roommates wall. Hence the forthcoming poetry:
"Find a girl who won't **** around on you when you're at drill, who isn't afraid to get her face messy, who won't sleep with a gay guy. Wait for the girl who gives good head, who isn't fat with sagging tits, who keeps her hands to herself. Wait for the one who isn't a controlling bitch. Wait for the one who won't jack off another guy, more specifically a doctor in Tulsa. Wait for the one who turns to her friends and says, "He put it in my butt."
Now I know what you're thinking... He didn't really do that did he? Ah my friends but indeed I did. However, in my defense I tell you that there is no false statement in my above poetry. (There were some concerns raised as to whether or no oversized boobs could in fact be compared to sagging boobs, and we decreed that I was infact partially false in my accusation of sagging tits. For this I apologise.) Also I was a little irritated at the situation anyway (specifically the Dr. in Tulsa part) so I decided to add my two cents in.
"Why don't you let them sort out thier own problems", I said to myself. To which I promptly responded "Perhaps I should, but I have held my tongue long enough." Or in this case my keyboard.
Well of course she read it, and flipped out, and they finally broke up.
What was the basis of her anger? You say.
She was mad that he told us everything. It was "private", she said. If indeed cheating on your committed and dedicated boyfriend should be private and forgiven, let God strike me with lightning now.
....
Still here.
Now that that's settled, we shall continue the story. My primary concern was how my roommate would respond, since, he had no foreknowledge that I was going to post what I posted. However, he laughed and said that I did him a favor.
That's quality friendship there my friends.
Now, contrary to what you may think, I do infact have a conscience, and I did feel bad. However, as my good friend Heather Hughes put it, if all of that was true it wouldn't have been a good relationship (or marriage) anyway.
My head hurts, I'm going to Buffalo Wild Wings to celebrate.
__________________
Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
You'll have to prise my penis from my cold, dead hand!
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Quote:
Originally posted by Yahwe
Gay ducks only do it because it impresses their peers.
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1 May 2006, 03:27
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#2
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by QazokRouge5
"Find a girl who ... who won't sleep with a gay guy.
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what the **** are you on?
what world do you live in???
(oh and the rest of your post was also crap)
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hi
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1 May 2006, 06:20
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#3
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
didnt read any of it but i bet its stupid
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1 May 2006, 06:32
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#4
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USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
How long have you wanted to have sex with your room mate?
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Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
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1 May 2006, 12:00
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#5
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Raaaaaaaah!
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 2,296
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
didnt read any of it but i bet its stupid
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I really advise everyone doesn't.
Posting something offensive in a Livejournal you badass rebel you.
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Hicks
Mercury & Solace
Always [Fury]
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1 May 2006, 12:04
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#6
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
i once read one of those "i wish a guy was like this etc" lists. one of which was "i wish he'd smell my hair more often when he thinks i don't know", or something to that affect.
it didn't help, i still just got a weird look... not as bad as the sympathetic look though
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it is nice when girls have nice smelling hair but I dont know why they would care if you smelled it or even notice that you smelled it unless you make some loud noise when you smell things :girls:
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1 May 2006, 12:11
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#7
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BlueTuba
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 6,339
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
I thought this was pretty good for a Qazok thread.
__________________
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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1 May 2006, 13:53
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#8
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
your posting style is crap.
you are not dace.
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1 May 2006, 14:13
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#9
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Insanity Prawn Boy!
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In a bush where you can't find me
Posts: 2,474
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by QazokRouge5
let God strike me with lightning now.
....
Still here.
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Damn. Conclusive proof that there is no God!
__________________
They shall not grow old, as we who are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We shall remember them.
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1 May 2006, 14:54
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#10
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
How long have you wanted to have sex with your room mate?
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This was my first thought also.
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bastard bastard bastard bastard
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1 May 2006, 16:02
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#11
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Twenty bucks says he finds a woman exactly like her to replace her within a month. Personality wise.
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I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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1 May 2006, 16:10
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#12
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
i guess if they think their hair is "attractive" they want people to acknowledge it. the same way i desperately want girls to notice my voluptuous booty.
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But having nice hair isnt the same thing as having nice smelling hair A girl with a poor haircut could still have an attractive fragrance surrounding her head if she chose her products judiciously.
Quote:
the thing i find strange with some of these girls is that while they want said attention, they dislike such "base/shallow" terms as being called fit/hot. maybe their subconscious has given in and started directing precious brain nourishment towards glossy hair growth loffles!
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Saying someone is 'hot' is lazy, its like saying that a song sounds 'good' or that a dinner tastes 'nice'. Youre meant to make up a reason why you like it even when you know its just an a rationalisation of your primal lust
I enjoy your posts because they exude radience hornlet, like a near abandonded lighthouse shining forth its luminous wares over a bleak black internet ocean.
Last edited by Nodrog; 1 May 2006 at 16:16.
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1 May 2006, 16:37
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#13
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
So if I smell her hair after I rape her in the bushes she might not call the police?
I suppose it can't hurt to try.
Unlike pretty much everything else that'll be going on in the bushes hohohoho.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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1 May 2006, 16:46
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#14
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
But then it would smell of grass and twigs
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1 May 2006, 16:50
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#15
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
au naturelle
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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1 May 2006, 18:38
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#16
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Bona Fide Jesus Freak
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the Word of the Lord
Posts: 765
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
I liked this post despite what all the haters have to say. It fits nicely into a passage I read the other day. NOW WOULD BE THE TIME TO STOP READING IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY RELIGIOUS MATERIAL.
Proverbs 27:6 (King James Version)
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
Edited for wanker appeal due to spelling errors.
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Matthew 24:9 (New International Version) "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me."
Who the hell gave you posrep you christian fundamentalist?
god is bollox, mkay and you are not discussing it
You're not the voice of Christianity di**head.
CT R22-20, [1up] R18-16, TGV R15,
The Illuminati - [NoS] - R14-13
Last edited by Travler; 1 May 2006 at 19:01.
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1 May 2006, 18:40
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#17
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travler
NOW WOULD BE THE TIME TO STOP READING IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY RELIGEOUS MATERIAL.
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I consider your inability to actually spell religious a telling truth
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hi
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1 May 2006, 18:47
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#18
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travler
I liked this post despite what all the haters have to say. It fits nicely into a passage I read the other day. NOW WOULD BE THE TIME TO STOP READING IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY RELIGEOUS MATERIAL.
Proverbs 27:6 (King James Version)
Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.
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Go saddle your ass.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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1 May 2006, 19:02
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#19
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Bona Fide Jesus Freak
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: In the Word of the Lord
Posts: 765
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Go saddle your ass.
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I do apologize for any misunderstanding on your part. I do not in fact own a donkey. I apologize for any confusion you are experiencing.
__________________
Matthew 24:9 (New International Version) "Then you will be handed over to be persecuted and put to death, and you will be hated by all nations because of me."
Who the hell gave you posrep you christian fundamentalist?
god is bollox, mkay and you are not discussing it
You're not the voice of Christianity di**head.
CT R22-20, [1up] R18-16, TGV R15,
The Illuminati - [NoS] - R14-13
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1 May 2006, 19:03
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#20
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by Travler
I do apologize for any misunderstanding on your part. I do not in fact own a donkey. I apologize for any confusion you are experiencing.
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I was referring to your wife.
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Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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1 May 2006, 21:43
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#21
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
if you call me hornlet one more time though i'm going to leave gd forever and start listening to rap music.
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6 years now he's been pretending he was me ...
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hi
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1 May 2006, 22:08
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#22
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: Last Nail in the Coffin
Quote:
Originally Posted by lokken
I thought this was pretty good for a Qazok thread.
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i have certainly read worse threads
hell, if your room mate is ok with it, you probably did the right thing
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lazy
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