So, how to get rid of a mate?

[Xillah]

I have a friend and quite frankly i hate him. Its not somone i always disliked, it happened over time and i literally cant stand the sight of him any more. I get up and he's there. I go to work and he's at my home (I actually put a lock on my bedroom door to keep him out and he picks it when i'm out).

Its pathetic, i cant leave the house for a few hours without him leaving a dozen calls on my answer phone asking if i'm in bed or where i am. He uses my mams car every night for work (5 nights a week from monday to friday).

I literaly need to scream at him to get him to leave. Believe me I've tried talking to him about it but to be honest I'm sick of it, this thing is screwing with my head at the minute, I dont want to answer the phone incase it's him saying 'I'll be right over'.

My mam says I'm being 'unreasonable', I can't afford my own place otherwise i would move out. A bunch of us booked up for a holiday and if it wasnt for the fact that it would cost the others extra i would drop out.

I guess my mam feels sorry for him because his mam dumped him on his gran as a kid, but ffs he's 20 now, he shouldnt be 'invading' my home like this.

if it wasnt happening to me i would laugh at this, I know its lame having to ask what you'd do on an internet forum but i'm all out of ideas, at the moment I'd love to stab the twat.

tell him that you're gay and that you really fancy him


see wot happens...

[Xillah]

Originally posted by Iniluki
I dunno. Just dumping him would be a bad idea. You not tried telling him you need your own space sometimes?

yes i did, he dosent come around for about a day (two if i'm lucky). I put a lock on my door to keep him out of my room when i was at work he found a way to get in still. I have no space, no privacy. I could almost cry its so ****ing pathetic.

[Radical Edward]

I had an annoying mate like that until I hit him in the face.

[Xillah]

Originally posted by Allfather
he is clearly a fag.
so tell him you dont take it up the arse,and send him off.
(unless you actualy do take it up there)

you win my predictable reply award (congrats on getting your account back btw)

Originally posted by Lord Boredom
tell him that you're gay and that you really fancy him


see wot happens...

You came in second, i hope you get cancer for copying Allfather, fkoff ta

hey! I'm not copying allfather. That was a genuinely good idea.

If he's not gay and you say that you are and you fancy him.. he's going to leave you alone pretty damn quickly.. course if he's gay and fancies you, you've got a bad problem on your hands...

hehehehe

[Radical Edward]

put a photo of him on a dart board and throw darts at it (leave it on your wall) also write loads of obsessive maniacal stuff about how you hate him in big red letters and leave it on your desk. then lock your door when you go out.

[Xillah]

Originally posted by Iniluki
Hmm he sounds like the needy sort.

I really am at a loss as for what you could do about it.

Losing friends is always a idea (unless they do something like **** your misses) so just telling him to **** off won't be good.


I really don't know.

It really is a toughy. Its harder than dumping a gf in a way because its not the sort of relationship you can just end.

nah.. it's exactly the same.

You tell him perfectly calmly that you hate his guts, despise him and never want to see him again.

He'll think you're joking, so just repeat yourself until he gets the picture.

[Radical Edward]

hire a really scabby hooker out and leave her in your room so she can upset him when he breaks in.

Originally posted by Radical Edward
hire a really scabby hooker out and leave her in your room so she can upset him when he breaks in.

or tether a goat to your bed.

[Xillah]

Ive tried that too. Its really starting to **** the group up, it's not as if we can just dump him as a mate as a group and i understand that. I just want a little respect when it comes to my privacy if you know what i mean. If they want some space they just dont see call, if I want space its tough **** because he's there.

[Cmdr_Cyrax]

**** his girlfriend

and then tell him. Or don't tell him, depending on how fit she is.........

[Xillah]

Originally posted by Cmdr_Cyrax
**** his girlfriend

and then tell him. Or don't tell him, depending on how fit she is.........

he dosent have one. I could have shagged his ex when he was going with her, I dont think he would give a **** if i shagged her now.

[Radical Edward]

cut off the head of his prize racehorse and then slip it into his bed while he is asleep.

[Radical Edward]

force him to complete a complex series of puzzles and instructions such as wearing racist placards in an area dominated by minoity groups.

[Radical Edward]

Have a picture of George Bush tattooed to his arse and then parachute him naked into bagdad

[G_frog]

sometimes you worry me more than your rubber-limbed namesake.

[Xillah]

Originally posted by G_frog
sometimes you worry me more than your rubber-limbed namesake.

huh?

rubber limbed what now?

[G_frog]

not you xillah, but ed.

[JammyJim]

stop talking to him.

ignore what he says

ignore what he does

sit in total silence when hes in the room and have no form of communication whatsoever.


do this after having an 'arguement' with him about some such.

are you sure you arent just jealous because your mum finally has the son she never got?

[Spearhead]

be glad you have a friend....you going to miss him when he's gone...always the same, if you have it, its ****e, if its gone you want it anyway how come you dont have the guts to just say 'hey man, give me some privacy' , surely he will understand that

[Apothos]

Seems to me you wanna dump a mate and not feel gult about doing it. Tough ****. Even if he is a twat, you're still gonna feel a tad guilty, so you'd be best off being as blunt with him as possible.



















Either that, or just **** his brains out and leave £20 and a Dear John note on his bedstand.

[Deffeh]

i had a similar if less extreme problem a couple of years ago, and i think we all know mini situations of it with our current friends.

Your mate sounds like a bit of a wank. Hes not very bright is he? Is he fragile?

How did you get to know him?

Have you tried physical abuse?

Have you tried getting a restraining order?

Have you tried repeated 'wet willy's' ?

[Ap0k]

introduce him to new ppl.

let him latch onto them.

problem solved.

alternatively, find him a woman.

alternatively (part 2), triple lock all your doors, windows and points of entry to your home, do you shopping via tescos home delivery, and never leave your house again.

[Evil Skragg]

Originally posted by Xillah
...i'm all out of ideas, at the moment I'd love to stab the twat.

MERCY KILLING

[Vaio]

Originally posted by JammyJim
stop talking to him.

ignore what he says

ignore what he does

sit in total silence when hes in the room and have no form of communication whatsoever.


do this after having an 'arguement' with him about some such.

You want them to get married ?????

Vaio

[BuddhistPunk]

[snatch]Pigs[/snatch]

[Nusselt]

your boyfriend seems to be quite insecure, after you dump him hes going to turn into a bunny boiler. Remember he knows where you live, where you work, where your mother works, and how to get into your room.

[Nicole]

Move.

Seriously I had a friend who did the same kind of ****. She even pounded on the door while I was having sex because of an emergency - (some boy called her). People like that are extremely self-centered and don't understand that people have other interests outside of themselves. The problem did not resolve itself until I moved out of my dorm for the summer, and then into a different building altogether. So go move, and don't tell him where you're going.

[slick]

Theres always the "Get your mum to hate him" route. tell her he fancies you and wont leave your body alone, or alternately, smash the car up and blame him, when he deies it, she'll hate him for eternity.