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Unread 8 Feb 2007, 11:06   #1
Malak
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Running for Federal Office

I am running for federal office in an electorate of 3,400 people with the intention of getting at least 10% of the votes.

My political platform is basically to secede from australia and declare myself Emperor. I am unsure whether to run as an Independant or form a Political Party. If I run independantly I only need 6 backers, if I run with a party I need 200 backers nationally.

The party name choices are; "Whoot", "DYB", "My Empire", "Nationalist-Socialist Alliance".

One of the main things I am doing is declaring the people of Darwin to be intellectually retarded scum who need a chlorine solution into their genepool.

Does anybody have any good marketing ideas?
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Unread 8 Feb 2007, 11:24   #2
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Nothing says Nationalist Socialist like a good swastika!
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Unread 8 Feb 2007, 11:34   #3
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Quote:
Originally Posted by All Systems Go
Nothing says Nationalist Socialist like a good swastika!
Yeah, suprisingly noone at work knows what the Nationalist Socialist Alliance was.
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Unread 8 Feb 2007, 11:38   #4
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Are you serious? Wha is your maanifeso?
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Unread 10 Feb 2007, 06:11   #5
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Democracy is and always has been weak. It is time that a man, nay, a GOD is chosen from amongst your pitiful ranks to rise up and take charge of your lives. Only when mob rule, and the scrabble for petty political points has been discarded can any culture advance itself.

I am that God, I shall lead you piteous scum, you inebriated and intellectually attenuated, morally bankrupt products of incestuous fornication to great heights. The changes that I promise to make shall be swift and irreversible:
* That I shall secede from Australia,
* That I shall destroy democracy
* That I shall crown myself Emperor Den Arquivista.

In addition to these great revisions which will forever change, for the better, the Northern Territory, I have the following agenda.

The malum prohibitum basis of the current legal system shall be replaced with Le Code Nicholas. This shall be our guiding path to the "Freedoms and Liberties"© outlined in our Constitution and Bill of Rights. Education and the freedoms to access knowledge are foremost in our plans. There shall be a reversion to older more productive education systems, but with a more modern curriculum. The libraries shall be strengthened and updated in order to serve as our greatest monument to humanity. The calendars, social traditions and other ideals based on irrational mythologies shall be replaced with a framework that honours Logic and Intellectual achievements for humanity. We shall create an environment in which noone is unable to earn a healthy living through thousands of new jobs, and encouraged creative contributions in The Empire of Den Arquivista. Simultaneously we shall become signatories and ratify the Kyoto protocols, even going far beyond them to make my empire an ecological eden.

Preamble of Constitution to follow.
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Unread 10 Feb 2007, 06:12   #6
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Re: Running for Federal Office

The Constitution of The Empire of Den Arquivista

Preamble:
When, in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume, among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Humankind requires that they should declare the Causes which impel them to the Separation.

We hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all people are born equal [excepting his imperial incarnate of the universe, may he be forever blessed], that they are endowed, by their sapience, with certain unalienable rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, the Pursuit of Happiness and the right to be ruled by a god-like emperor.

That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among people, deriving its just Powers from an absolute "la monarchie de droit divin", that whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these Ends, it is the Right and Responsibility of the Incarnate to abolish or alter it, and to institute his new Government, laying its Foundation on such Principles, and organizing its Powers in such Form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence indeed, will dictate, that Governments long established, should not be changed for light and transient Causes; and accordingly all Experience hath shewn, that Humankind are more disposed to suffer, while Evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the Forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long Train of Abuses and Usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object, evinces a Design to reduce them under absolute Fascism, it is their Right, it is their Duty, to destroy such government, execute the governors, and to empower a new Emperor for their future Security.
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Unread 10 Feb 2007, 11:20   #7
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Re: Running for Federal Office

http://www.law.indiana.edu/uslawdocs/declaration.html
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Unread 10 Feb 2007, 16:07   #8
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Re: Running for Federal Office

To be fair he's only slightly plagiarised it. There is a modicum of original content smattered in there.
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Unread 10 Feb 2007, 19:57   #9
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Re: Running for Federal Office

My great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great (somewhere around here) grad-dad signed the American Declaration of Independence, his name was John Morton, and he signed under Benjamin Franklin.

This thread is not only insulting to Americans whom you've plagiarized one of our most historical and significant documents, and you're completely off your rocker.
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Last edited by jt25man; 11 Feb 2007 at 02:20.
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Unread 10 Feb 2007, 20:28   #10
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Dude, I spelled plagiarised for you in the post directly above yours! Glad to see you didn't use a 'z' at least though. Shows that there is hope for you at least.

Also, you should lighten up a bit.
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Unread 12 Feb 2007, 16:24   #11
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Hmm.. add in the right to burn hippies and stupid people and I'm in! :P
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Unread 13 Feb 2007, 08:52   #12
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Re: Running for Federal Office

jt25man, you pretend like democracy is an inherently positive thing :O

i say do away the institutions, constitutions and governments, we can organise ourselves and set ourselves free of the chains of oppressions that these entities represent in our lives!
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Unread 13 Feb 2007, 09:03   #13
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
My great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great (somewhere around here) grad-dad signed the American Declaration of Independence, his name was John Morton, and he signed under Benjamin Franklin.

This thread is not only insulting to Americans whom you've plagiarized one of our most historical and significant documents, and you're completely off your rocker.

God Bless America
You forgot a lil some something
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Unread 13 Feb 2007, 10:51   #14
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alessio
You forgot a lil some something
Good point.
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Unread 13 Feb 2007, 11:07   #15
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Can't you just write a poem about how nobody understands you like normal emo people?
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Unread 13 Feb 2007, 20:22   #16
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Re: Running for Federal Office

GD now stands for general derangement?
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Unread 14 Feb 2007, 00:13   #17
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
My great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great (somewhere around here) grad-dad signed the American Declaration of Independence, his name was John Morton, and he signed under Benjamin Franklin.

This thread is not only insulting to Americans whom you've plagiarized one of our most historical and significant documents, and you're completely off your rocker.
And look what his ancestor has become, a gd dwelling person with a weird avatar.
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Unread 14 Feb 2007, 00:20   #18
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Re: Running for Federal Office

You need a girlfriend.

Or a boyfriend.

It's ok, I don't judge.
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Unread 14 Feb 2007, 08:53   #19
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Re: Running for Federal Office

You crazy colonials
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Unread 22 Feb 2007, 14:03   #20
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
Hmm.. add in the right to burn hippies and stupid people and I'm in! :P
I like the stupid people, they are needed for our more repetitive jobs, and selling things to me.
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Unread 22 Feb 2007, 15:42   #21
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
GD now stands for general derangement?
I support this motion and would quite like the forum name changed forthwith.
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Unread 22 Feb 2007, 20:02   #22
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Re: Running for Federal Office

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joshua_A._Norton


deciding to have your own empire .. been done .. with alot more style and flair by an american
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Unread 22 Feb 2007, 22:01   #23
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Re: Running for Federal Office

Also been done by Ghengis Khan, Napoleon, Sundry others. But of course, if ONE person has done it, noone else ever should
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Unread 22 Feb 2007, 22:04   #24
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Re: Running for Federal Office

even though he did run in election
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