26,074,906.
That’s the population of Iraq according to the CIA’s latest estimate. Now I’ve calculated that between the US army and the random terrorists rampaging around the country mincing the local population, by July 2009, everybody in Iraq will be dead.
Think about it, what if you decided to move there? There wouldn’t be much to do. You could watch telly I suppose, but what happens when your TV develops a fault? You could phone the repair company but you might get a recorded message – “Sorry we are unable to undertake any repairs as all our engineers are dead. So am I”. That wouldn’t be very helpful would it?
So you could go out to watch a local football match, getting in would be free as there would be nobody to make you pay for a ticket. But to what use? You could sit in the stadium for 90 minutes twiddling your thumbs but that’s about it, because the referee would be dead. And the players on both sides. Dead United vs. Dead City. Still, you could throw coins at the opposing fans and taunt them as much as you like, it wouldn’t matter because they would all be dead. Maybe you fancy a pint after the match so you call into the local pub. Great, all the customers are dead. You’d think you were at a GD meet. Thinking about it though, none of this would matter, because you would be dead too.
It’s quite sad really
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