Parent Teacher Meetings

[Tomkat]

This little story of adventure takes place this time last year. I'd just started teaching, after finishing my year qualifying in Exeter.

I was the youngest teacher there - which was understandable, as I'd gone straight from uni into the PGCE then straight into teaching. It's impossible to be younger than I was as a teacher.

So I was freshfaced, eager to learn, and had to step up from taking 15 hours a week while being watched and mentored to handling an entire timetable, setting/marking homework, keeping kids in for detention, and all the other stuff that goes with being a teacher.

It was pretty overwhelming. Luckily the other staff at the school were incredibly supportive, especially one guy called Ray who I made friends with.

Ray was 28 and had been a teacher for about 5 years, doing mostly cover work. This was one of his first "fulltime" jobs. He was excellent for information, as he was pretty young like me, so took the same view as I did in terms of how much effort should be put into extracurricular stuff (ie not that much).



This story starts with a kid called Jimmy Gray.

Jimmy was in year 7 (that's the first form in secondary school) and 11 years old. He was incredibly timid and I suspected got a bit of teasing outside the classroom. Not enough to be classed as bullying, but enough for it to be noticeable.

I liked him. He was quiet and worked pretty hard. He wasn't a particularly brainy kid, but listened to advice and instructions, so always got the work done to a decent standard. I had nothing but praise for him, and he soon became one of my favourite pupils.

About 5 weeks into the term I got a note from his mum, via him. She'd asked to come in. I was a bit worried - this would be my first time talking one-on-one to a parent about their kid. I didn't know what they wanted to talk about either - was there a concern with me? With how much homework I was setting? (not enough? too much?)

My first port of call was Ray. I showed him the note and asked what to do.

"It's quite simple - she just will want to know that her little boy is doing ok" he told me.
"So what do I need to do?" I asked.
"Well put lots of effort into it. Start as you mean to go on" he answered "Get all the records you can about him and the work he's been doing - and make sure all his work is up to date and marked"
"ok, what else?"
"Get a list of what he's done, what he's doing and what he'll be doing in the up-and-coming months"
"That's it?"
"Yeah, and make sure you know how he's doing. The worst thing is not having much to say about their kid"
"Alright!"

So I put a LOT of effort into this. I wanted to be a "good teacher" so I had all the records ready, including his achievements in subjects like Maths/English so I could show I was on the ball.



So the night came along when she was due to come in. I had my own classroom so in the note back I'd told her which room I was in, and given her directions. I had all his records out on display and was prepared. I was really proud of myself.

At about 3:55pm I got a knock on the door and she came in.

She was STUNNING.

I've seen a few attractive mothers, but I was blown away by this woman.

She looked about 30 (which meant she had Jimmy when she was 19 or so). She had auburn hair down to her shoulders, with a few subtle blonde highlights in it. A decent cleavage but nothing revealing or tacky. Amazing legs. A really cute little nose.

I'm sounding like a pervert here. You get the idea - this woman was "smoking".

I stood up and held out my hand to shake hers. She might be incredibly attractive, but I was still here to talk about her little Jimmy.

It started off with a few pleasantries, and then she launched into her reasons for coming before I even had a chance to show off all the files I had on her son.

"I'm a bit concerned about him because it's a new school and I'm not sure how he's coping" she opened with.
"He seems to be fine in class - he's an excellent worker and has had no problems in paired or group work" I replied - I already had that sentence ready in my head. Always start with praise, I'd been told.
"Good - it's just his father left me recently and so things at home have been a bit tense for him" she responded.

At this point she got a tissue out and started dabbing at her face. There were some tears coming through. I didn't know where to put myself. Part of me wanted to try and comfort her. The other part wanted to just be somewhere else, pretty embarrassed by it all.

I know it sounds incredibly wrong, but she actually looked very attractive crying.

"I'm really sorry to hear that" I said, trying to comfort her verbally at least
"Well it's been on the cards for a while" she replied "We both knew it was going to happen - but Jimmy hasn't taken it too well"
"No, I can imagine. So is there anything I can do?" I offered

She then looked up from her bag and smiled at me. That smile won me over forever. I was smitten by this older lady.

"No, but Jimmy said you're his favourite teacher and so I wanted to check things are alright here"
"Thanks very much - that means a lot. I'm quite new to the teaching thing actually"

I realised I was getting a bit personal here. This was entirely professional and I needed to remember that.

"So how old are you, anyway?"
"Erm... 23"

She did the smile again.

"I'd better be going - I need to go and pick up Jimmy. It was nice meeting you, Mr. Rattle"
"Sure Mrs. Gray - any time. I hope things get easier at home"
"Call me Sarah"
I didn't offer my first name. I shook her hand and she left.



I went down to the staffroom and Ray was there, waiting. He had some papers to mark anyway, apparently. He asked how it all went.

"She was so hot. She didn't even ask about his work - apparently there's been some trouble at home with her husband leaving her and she wants to check Jimmy is ok here"
"Did you flirt at all?"
"No! I was professional!"
"Did she ask anything personal?"
"One or two things... why?"
"Nothing. Keep me updated if she gets in contact again"
"I can't see why she would, but alright. Catch you later"
"Sure - well done on your first Parent Teacher meeting"



About 2 weeks later I received a message in my pigeonhole about a phonecall to the office I had missed. The secretary had scribbled on the note what the message was. Simply put, it said:
"Mr. Rattle, unfortunately Jimmy has an ear infection so will be off school for a couple of weeks. Please email me any homework or classwork he needs to complete. Many thanks, S Gray"

Obviously her e-mail address was attached.

This was simple enough. I sent an e-mail to her the next day with some work he could do. There wasn't really a message inside it, just something about hoping he recovers soon. Cordial.

Her reply came an hour or two later. It was pretty chatty, and asked how the teaching was going and if I was enjoying it. She added that things at home were a bit better as she was getting used to it now.

I replied to her the next day, answering her questions. I didn't ask any of my own. I still felt a bit strange being friendly with a parent, even though I knew it was completely innocent.

I told Ray about the e-mail and my reply at lunch. He laughed.

"There's a couple of things about the teaching profession that aren't really spoken about outside the classroom."
"How do you mean?" I felt so naive - I had no idea what he was talking about.
"Well teachers all know these things go on. Anyone who isn't a teacher never believes them. It's kind of an unwritten code. We laugh it off if anyone suggests it outside the teaching profession."
"What?"
"Every single teacher - even the smelly, old, fat ones. Every single teacher has some sort of intimacy with a pupil's parent at one point in their career"
"Shut up! That isn't true!"
"It is 100% true. Why would I lie about it? You see though - you think I'm lying. Now you're part of the gang, you're privy to this information"
"Have you had one?"
"Once. Everyone does it. It usually peters out within a couple of months, but I've never met a teacher who hasn't had one"
"How is that possible? I mean look at some of the teachers round here" at this point I waved at the teachers who noone wanted to sit near, simply because of their breath problems or the fact they never seemed to ever wash their clothes.
"It's simple. Every woman was once a schoolgirl. And everyone knows that at some point in their lives, a schoolgirl will have had a crush on a teacher. But at that age, nothing can be done about it. They have to live in secrecy. Once they reach this age though, it's fine. We're just their replacements for a teacher they couldn't have 20 years ago"
"That's ridiculous"
"Ridiculous maybe. But it's what happens. And I think, my young apprentice, that Mrs. Gray has now become Miss. Gray and now she wants some of Mr. Rattle!"
"What a load of crap"
"We'll see. Keep me updated!"



I didn't believe a word of it. The idea that every teacher has some sort of intimate affair with at least one parent was ludicrous.

I WANTED to believe it. This woman was gorgeous. But she was one of my pupil's parents. She came in concerned for his welfare at home - she was hardly going to jump into bed with one of his teachers! Imagine how scarred he'd be if he found out!

It did play at the back of my mind though, when Parents Evening rolled around in January.

I only had three parents come to see me. In year 7, the parents aren't that concerned about the ICT Teacher. It was fine by me, it meant less work and going home earlier than everyone else. Surprisingly enough, one of the parents was a Mrs. Gray. She was the last one.

Before I went in to sit down, Ray whispered in my ear "I bet she flirts with you! Teachers Code!". I just gave him the finger and went into the hall to sit at my seat (which had Mr. Rattle written on it - for some reason I was incredibly proud about this).

Mrs. Gray came in and sat down opposite me. She'd obviously gone to some effort for this meeting - she was wearing makeup and just looked amazing. I can't even remember what she was wearing, I was so blown away. Her hair was tied back but a single lock had fallen in front of her eye. It looked incredibly seductive.

The conversation went simply over what Jimmy had done, what he was doing, and what he was going to do. It was over within 1 minute and I had another 4 before she had to move onto the next teacher.

Instead of thanking me and leaving, she asked me how I was, as if we were old friends. I stammered a reply. She asked how the teaching was going and I replied honestly - that it was hard work but I was getting used to it. Then she patted my hand and said "I'm sure you'll be fine" while winking. Her hand lingered on mine then moved away.

My heart skipped a beat.

This wasn't possible. I was the teacher of her son. Was she really FLIRTING with me? No way.

"Do you get much spare time outside of school?"
"Oh, I get some - mostly at the weekends. My weeknights are filled up with marking papers"
"No room for a Mrs. Rattle then?" she laughed.
I stammered some sort of mumble back. Something like "Mmmphno".

This sounds like the sort of conversation you get in a cheesy hollywood film. I thought that after. Then I realised that that is based on reality. And this wasn't the most "normal" of situations anyway. I had no idea where to put myself so was grateful when the buzzer went off and she moved onto the next teacher.



Ray cornered me before I left.

"How did it go?"
I told him about the hand and the wink, and about asking if I was single.
"I KNEW IT! I ****ING KNEW IT!" he almost danced - he was that happy he was right.
"I don't understand. Why would she be interested in a 23 year old teacher?"
"It's quite simple really. Teachers are regarded as some of the most trustworthy and upstanding people in society. Along with doctors, we're some of the only people that are supposed to be completely reliable. If a woman is going to have a relationship after coming out of a failed one, she wants someone reliable and who isn't going to hurt her. For some reason people think teachers are both those things"
"You've done quite a bit of research on this"
"Tommy boy, I've seen lots of people in your position with their first parent-teacher-relationship. I told you - it's not unusual at all"
"I still think you're making it up."
"We'll see! Anyway I've got some more parents to talk to. I'll see you tomorrow"



Two weeks later I got a letter from Jimmy. It was in a small envelope, with "Mr. Rattle" written on the front. It was sealed, so I knew he hadn't read it.

In it was a note written on pink paper, in swirly handwriting. If handwriting could be flirty, THIS WAS IT. It said:

"Mr. Rattle,
Would it be possible to come in at some point this week in evening for a chat? Many thanks, S"

I scribbled a quick reply saying that Wednesday was fine for me and unless I heard otherwise I'd assume that she'd be there.



I then went back to my mentor to ask advice.

"This is it, dude!" he exclaimed while chomping down a sausage roll (I remember the image well, as what he was saying was incredibly attractive while he was managing to look incredibly unattractive - it was an awesome oxymoron).
"It?"
"She will make a move. Trust me. This is what - your third or fourth meeting? I bet she brings some wine that she just happens to have on her and asks if you want a drink"
"Is that normal?"
"From my experience in chatting to other teachers about their parent-teacher-relationships, yeah"

Just then another teacher joined in. His name was Mark and he was 32.

"Has Tom got a parent already?!"
"Wha?" I replied
Ray laughed and just did an "I told you so" smile.

It emerged Mark had his first "parent teacher relationship" 3 years after qualifying. He confirmed Rays' theories and then they both gave me a big walkthrough on what I should wear, how I should behave, what I should say and how I should act.

The gist of it was "be innocent". She'll do most of the work. If you act innocent then you can always get out of it easily. Letting her do the work makes her feel more secure, which is essentially the reason she's chosen a teacher anyway.



On Wednesday morning I chose my favourite suit, shirt and tie and made sure I looked smart. I took extra effort over my shaving and aftershave, and if I do say so myself, looked pretty dapper.

The evening rolled around and I did as Ray and Mark told me.

I had some fake marking spread out, to make it look like I'd almost forgotten she was coming in.

I turned some of the lights off so the room was still lit, but not as bright as normal.

I sat down and waited.

At 4:05pm a knock on my door.

This was it.

I was pretty excited, to say the least. This moment had been built up to ridiculous levels by Ray and Mark's stories of their relationships.

"Come in!" I said in what I thought was a cool, calm and collected voice.

The door opened.

In walked a grey-headed man. He looked about 5'7 and probably 10 stone. He adjusted his glasses and put his briefcase on the table.

"Hello, I'm Sean Gray"
"Mr. Rattle"

I shook his hand.

"I was just coming in to ask how Jimmy is coping. Things have become kind of hard at home. I recently returned to his mother, but last week she ran off to Ireland with a teacher from my daughter's school she's been having an affair with. I'm concerned about him."

I just gritted my teeth, got up from my chair and turned all the lights on.