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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 15:57   #1
meglamaniac
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Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

You may notice they follow a certain theme:



>1. What do you call a chav in a box?
>Innit.
>
>2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?
>Sorted
>
>3. What do you call a chav in a box with a lock on it?
>Safe.
>
>4. What do you call an Eskimo chav?
>Innuinnit.
>
>5. Two chavs jump off Beachy Head, who wins?
>Society.
>
>6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?
>The bride.
>
>7. You're in your car and you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try
>not to hit him? It might be your bike.
>
>8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?
>One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.
>
>9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?
>What you lookin' at?"
>
>10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?
>Paint three stripes on it.
>
>11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?
>The police
>
>12. What do you call a chav with 9 GCSE's?
>A liar.
>
>13. What do you say to a chav with a job?
>Can I have a big mac please
>
>14. What do you say to a chav in a suit?
>Will the defendant please stand
>
>15. What do u call a knife in chaville?
>Exhibit A
>
>16. Why is 3 chavs going over a cliff in a Nova a shame?
>A Nova seats 4
>
>17. What do you call a 30 year old chavette?
>Granny.
>
>18. How many chavs does it take to change a lightbulb?
>One, they'll screw anything.
>
>19. A bus full of Chavs were driving through Wales. As they were
>approaching lanfgogogferrinfourasoch they started arguing about the
>pronunciation of the town's name. They argued back and forth until they

>stopped for lunch. As they stood at the counter, one Chav asked the
>blonde employee, "Before we order, could you settle an argument for us?

>Would you please pronounce where we are... very slowly?" - The blonde
>girl leaned over the counter and said, "Burrrrrrrr-gerrrrrrr-Kiiiiing."
>
>20. How many chavs does it take to clean a floor?
>None, "That's some uvver bleeders job innit."
>
>21. Why did the chav take a shower?
>He didn't mean to, he just forgot to close the Nova's window in the car

>wash
>
>22. Why did the Chav cross the road?
>To start a fight with a random stranger for no reason whatsoever.
>
>23. What do you call a Chav at college?
>The cleaner
>


Thank you and goodnight.
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 15:58   #2
1-X
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to meglamaniac again.
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 16:06   #3
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by 1-X
You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to meglamaniac again.
Taken care of
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 16:09   #4
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Exclamation Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Old.
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 16:11   #5
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Old.
Old like the Pope!
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 16:12   #6
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
Old like the Pope!
Heaven is a half pope!
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 16:13   #7
pyirt
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

I liked it :-)
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 16:14   #8
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

first to say old before anyone else does \o/

http://pirate.planetarion.com/showthread.php?t=183814

EDIT: or not
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 16:16   #9
Marilyn Manson
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Exclamation Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by djbass
first to say old before anyone else does \o/
You stupid woman
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 18:30   #10
meglamaniac
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

I had a nasty feeling it had already done the rounds.
Arse
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 18:37   #11
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
You stupid woman
Oh Rene.
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 18:45   #12
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

I'm pretty sure I've already posted all of those already
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 19:03   #13
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

At least he linked to it though.
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 20:28   #14
JC
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Three stripes is the adidas sign, which is a brand that chavs love to wear.

Chavs are generally a bit dim so couldnt get 9 GCSEs, so are lying if they say thats what they got.
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 20:54   #15
JC
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Its exams that kids take in England at 15/16.
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 21:23   #16
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 23:16   #17
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
Its exams that kids take in England at 15/16.
GCSE = General Certificate of Secondary Education.

Year 7-11 is Secondary School, where Years 10-11 are normally work towards the GCSE's (at least from when I went to school).

The core GCSE's that everyone takes are:
Science (Biology, Physics, Chemistry), Maths, English Literature, English Language, one foreign language, one Design based. (At least when I went, it's probably changed.)

Then depending on your ability you get options then for what other GCSE's you wish to take. I decided to go for Business Studies and Information Technology. (Which was actually not allowed at first but I pleaded my case)

So, I only have 9 GCSE's. I could have done 10, but I decided not to take Religious Studies.
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 23:18   #18
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

I did 10 im special
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 23:22   #19
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by big_horn
made me laugh like a school girl
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 23:23   #20
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

i did 12 GCSEs and i would have gotten away with all A*-B too if it wasnt for them pesky biologists
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 23:55   #21
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

I don't think I have 9 GCSEs.
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Unread 21 Apr 2005, 23:58   #22
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

I have a large penis.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 00:13   #23
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
i did 12 GCSEs and i would have gotten away with all A*-B too if it wasnt for them pesky biologists
i wonder what i got

what i do remember is being incredibly insulted that the government dared to interfere in my school life
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 00:20   #24
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by big_horn
GCSE's are shit
you could be as thick as a tree but still get a grades if you had a good memory and the motivation to revise
WHICH IS WHY I PROPOSE.........
Purely from my own experience, people with 'good memories' and the 'motivation to revise' aren't 'thick as shit'.

The ones who are thick as shit are too busy stealing hub caps or working at drive-thrus to notice that they have exams to take.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 00:29   #25
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

I left one of my leaving cert exams (this is a-level in england) early to play poker. And I still came out miles ahead of the field. Oh it sure feels good to be back in the game.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 00:40   #26
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

If someone were to boast about four A's at GCSE level i'd liberally beat them to death with an anal-wart-laced sledgehammer.

But yeah, GCSE's are rediculously easy provided you're not considered to be a lower form of life than the humble amoeba.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 00:50   #27
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
I have a large penis.
I demand proof of this in Avatar format.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 00:56   #28
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by big_horn

i'm really not ugly you know, i just hate my face
i don't mind re-arranging it for you
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 00:57   #29
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Exclamation Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

lol at the idea of Yahwe in a fight.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 00:57   #30
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Heaven is a half pope!
That deserves rep, but I can't give any to you. Someone stand in for me.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 01:05   #31
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalon
Purely from my own experience, people with 'good memories' and the 'motivation to revise' aren't 'thick as shit'.

The ones who are thick as shit are too busy stealing hub caps or working at drive-thrus to notice that they have exams to take.
I think the problem is that the smart people have a lack of motivation because they are smart, they will always walk out with decent grades but never the best. I know for a fact that if I didnt do my essays the night before, or revise a few days before for an exam, I could get a first, however I know I should get a 2:1 so why push myself when I could go out have a good time not work as hard as others and still get a same if not better degree.

I lost my lack of motivation after SATS if I had kept up my level then until now i would probably be a virgin, with no life and not many friends.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 03:16   #32
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

I had a big pack of cookies but i dropped it and now all the cookies are on the floor.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 11:04   #33
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

I don`t have any GCSE`s. I have GSE "O" levels instead.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 11:07   #34
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Don't worry, they just made them easier.
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 12:42   #35
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

wtf is a chav?
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 13:19   #36
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron Morte
wtf is a chav?
How many threads have we had about chav's?
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 14:35   #37
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Richie987
How many threads have we had about chav's?
threads with chav in the title = 9

threads that mention them somewhere inside = 101

first use of the word on this board* is by Auro on 15 Jan 03.

(*may not actually be the first as threads < 22 Oct 02 are gone)
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 14:56   #38
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

1-X is like a walking, talking encyclopedia, full to the brim with tasty links and knowledge.

It's brilliant
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Unread 22 Apr 2005, 14:57   #39
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Re: Some terrible jokes I was forwarded.

Quote:
Originally Posted by big_horn
GCSE's are shit
you could be as thick as a tree but still get a grades if you had a good memory and the motivation to revise
WHICH IS WHY I PROPOSE.........
Welcome to Academia, we hope you enjoy your stay!

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