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20 Jun 2004, 23:08
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#1
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Crap Irish Joke
Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of
Money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of 50
pence. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the
butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.
Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at
all".
Murphy replied "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the
pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses
of Jamieson whiskey.Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!". Murphy replied, with a smile "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!"
They downed their drinks. Murphy said "OK, I'll stick the sausage
through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth."
Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk
all for free.
At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any
more o'this. I'm pissed and me knees are killin' me!"
Murphy said "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the
third pub."
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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20 Jun 2004, 23:14
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#2
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
and the horrid blue colour was necessary ?
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[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
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Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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20 Jun 2004, 23:16
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#3
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurashima
Shamus and Murphy fancied a pint or two but didn't have a lot of
Money between them, they could only raise the staggering sum of 50
pence. Murphy said "Hang on, I have an idea." He went next door to the
butcher's shop and came out with one large sausage.
Shamus said "Are you crazy? Now we don't have any money left at
all".
Murphy replied "Don't worry - just follow me." He went into the
pub where he immediately ordered two pints of Guinness and two glasses
of Jamieson whiskey.Shamus said "Now you've lost it. Do you know how much trouble we will be in? We haven't got any money!!". Murphy replied, with a smile "Don't worry, I have a plan. Cheers!"
They downed their drinks. Murphy said "OK, I'll stick the sausage
through my zipper and you go on your knees and put it in your mouth."
Said and done, the barman noticed them, went berserk and threw them out.
They continued this, pub after pub, getting more and more drunk
all for free.
At the tenth pub Shamus said "Murphy - I don't think I can do any
more o'this. I'm pissed and me knees are killin' me!"
Murphy said "How do you think I feel? I lost the sausage in the
third pub."
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Removing the shit colour so I can read the damn thing.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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20 Jun 2004, 23:23
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#4
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Removing the shit colour so I can read the damn thing.
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Now blaming you for letting me read a crap joke
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You're now playing ketchup
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21 Jun 2004, 11:23
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#5
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Choice of Whacker sir?
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Ireland
Posts: 679
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
i think the correct subject should have been Crap Kurashima Joke
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* thanos sets mode: -brain The_Shadow_Man
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21 Jun 2004, 11:28
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#6
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cynic
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Bishop Auckland Co. Durham
Posts: 8,809
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
i smiled
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lazy
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21 Jun 2004, 11:44
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#7
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Oh begorra, wasn't that a fine 'ol joke. *does a jig*
The joke would have worked just as well without any mention of Irish ppl you ****ing bigot.
__________________
I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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21 Jun 2004, 18:25
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#8
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by IncubusGod
Oh begorra, wasn't that a fine 'ol joke. *does a jig*
The joke would have worked just as well without any mention of Irish ppl you ****ing bigot.
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Congratulations on completely misinterpreting the term "Bigot". The wording this technically falls under is "Xenophobia" or "Racism" as the joke targets a specific race or nation. Bigotry is described as follows.
bigotry
\Big"ot*ry\, n. [Cf. F. bigoterie.] 1. The state of mind of a bigot; obstinate and unreasoning attachment of one's own belief and opinions, with narrow-minded intolerance of beliefs opposed to them.
I have no specific beliefs which are "Anti Irish" nor "Anti Anything" to be perfectly honest. If you think a Bigot is someone who makes Irish jokes , i strongly recommend you walk into any pub in Govan wearing a Celtic football top and tell everyone how wonderful your team is. At that point, you can experience Bigotry first hand.
Or perhaps youd like to take your 4yr old child to a catholic primary school in Northern Ireland, and walk through an area which is predominantly Protestant, whilst being spat on in the name of "Religion".
Next time you label someone a "Bigot" , try and understand theres a stigma attached to that wording which some people, ESPECIALLY those from the West of Scotland and Northern Ireland , take very ****ing seriously.
Back up your claims or shut the **** up. Bigotry is not an insult to throw lightly.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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21 Jun 2004, 18:28
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#9
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Shut up kura you faggot.
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Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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21 Jun 2004, 18:35
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#10
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Has Soup On His Head
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Shut up kura you faggot.
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Jonny sucks cocks for guinness!
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
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22 Jun 2004, 17:47
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#11
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Is jonny irish?
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Bizarrely overrated
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22 Jun 2004, 17:49
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#12
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Chief over all Monkeys
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 1,771
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
not bad
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22 Jun 2004, 18:23
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#13
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron Morte
Is jonny irish?
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No I'm actually from Krygyzstan. Like many less well known nations we are not extremely well-off and our serious vowel shortage led to the name of our country being barely pronounceable at the best of times.
If you have some spare vowels please send them to me. We have many aid-workers over here who are trying to bring back the vowels to our native land but they earnestly need your help if they are to succeed. Please ring our donation line 888 - 155 - VWLPLZ if you have any vowels left over at the end of your day.
PS In my country Countdown is the great satan instead of the US. Their wanton excessive usage of vowels without consideration of those who are less fortunate than us disgust both me and my brethren.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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23 Jun 2004, 10:13
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#14
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WANNASEEMYNEWCHAINSAW
Join Date: May 2000
Location: Éire
Posts: 2,738
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
No I'm actually from Krygyzstan. Like many less well known nations we are not extremely well-off and our serious vowel shortage led to the name of our country being barely pronounceable at the best of times.
If you have some spare vowels please send them to me. We have many aid-workers over here who are trying to bring back the vowels to our native land but they earnestly need your help if they are to succeed. Please ring our donation line 888 - 155 - VWLPLZ if you have any vowels left over at the end of your day.
PS In my country Countdown is the great satan instead of the US. Their wanton excessive usage of vowels without consideration of those who are less fortunate than us disgust both me and my brethren.
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You are a TRATOR to the motherland, the great nation of Krygyzstan has never needed imperialst pig-dog vowels before and we shall crush their pitiful civilzations and afternoon word jumble shows without them. Ever since our foundation by the all knowing Stan we have never needed or required the intervention of the corrupt west, using vowels as if they were free condoms being handed out at a white snake aftershow party.
Prepare to be boiled alive in unrendered hog fat you pitiful turncoat, you shall be forcefed consonants and viciously murdered until deemed rehabilitated and suitable to re-enter society.
ALL HAIL STAN!
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I came, I saw, I shouldn't mix pleasure with carpentry.
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23 Jun 2004, 17:54
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#15
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: Crap Irish Joke
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
No I'm actually from Krygyzstan. Like many less well known nations we are not extremely well-off and our serious vowel shortage led to the name of our country being barely pronounceable at the best of times.
If you have some spare vowels please send them to me. We have many aid-workers over here who are trying to bring back the vowels to our native land but they earnestly need your help if they are to succeed. Please ring our donation line 888 - 155 - VWLPLZ if you have any vowels left over at the end of your day.
PS In my country Countdown is the great satan instead of the US. Their wanton excessive usage of vowels without consideration of those who are less fortunate than us disgust both me and my brethren.
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You could just say "OFC you ****ing goon"
It would work the same way
__________________
Bizarrely overrated
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