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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 22:36   #1
Inferno
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A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
A Jamaican driving in his brand new BMW Z8 pulls over to take a leak.

A truck speeding down the street crashes into his door just as he`s about to
come out of his car, sending it flying off the hinges.

Enraged, he uses his cell phone to call police

When the police arrives he explains what happened "Star, di man jus come lick off de door a mi bimmer!! Mi car write off to rass!!"
The police, after surveying the scene shakes his head in amazement and says,

"You Jamaicans are so materialistic. You`re so into the damage of your car door, that you didn`t even realize that your hand is still attached to it!!"

The guy, finally realizing this, looks at his amputated hand and screams out , "Bloodclaat!! Mi rolex!!! "
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 22:43   #2
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
why did you post that?
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 22:45   #3
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Exclamation Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Let the lynching commence.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 22:48   #4
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Someone ban that ****tard before I turn his parents home into an inferno whilst they sleep.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 22:48   #5
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Because Jamaicans are evil. Didn't you get it?
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 22:49   #6
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
A woman had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. The truck driver motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded her: "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!".
He then went to her car and cut up the leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!"
He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tyres. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it.
He goes back to his truck and gets a can of petrol, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down. "What's so funny?!" the truck driver asked her.
She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!"
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 22:53   #7
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
A woman had just gotten a new sports car and was out for a drive when she accidentally cut off a truck driver. The truck driver motioned for her to pull over. When she did, he got out of his truck and pulled a piece of chalk from his pocket.
He drew a circle on the side of the road and gruffly commanded her: "Stand in that circle and DON'T MOVE!".
He then went to her car and cut up the leather seats. When he turned around she had a slight grin on her face, so he said "Oh you think that's funny? Watch this!"
He gets a baseball bat out of his truck and breaks every window in her car.
When he turns and looks at her she has a smile on her face.
He is getting really mad. He gets his knife back out and slices all her tyres. Now she's laughing. The truck driver is really starting to lose it.
He goes back to his truck and gets a can of petrol, pours it on her car and sets it on fire. He turns around and she is laughing so hard she is about to fall down. "What's so funny?!" the truck driver asked her.
She replied, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped outside the circle!"
OFFICIALLY!

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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 22:57   #8
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
A thread of jokes, how peculiar.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 23:10   #9
Ste
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurashima
OFFICIALLY!

Older than Dead_Meat
I don't care. It wasn't meant to be funny. It was a similar road-rage related joke.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 23:12   #10
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
It was still more amusing than the shite at the top of this thread.
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Unread 16 Nov 2004, 23:18   #11
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
I suppose it's telling us that Jamaicans are materialistic...
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 00:08   #12
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flavius
why would you post a joke if it wasnt meant to be funny. I think you mean it wasnt meant to be new
I thought it was funnier than the first post in the thread.
And it still wasn't funny.
Showing how unfunny the original joke was.
I couldn't care less whether it was old or not.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 00:11   #13
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Question Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Did the Jamaican man have a large penis?
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 00:14   #14
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
I thought it was funnier than the first post in the thread.
And it still wasn't funny.
Showing how unfunny the original joke was.
I couldn't care less whether it was old or not.

I thought both were worth reading
Although that probably says more about how much absolute shit I read rather than the quality of the 2 'jokes'.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 00:17   #15
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Is it telling us that Jamaicans are materialistic?
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 00:18   #16
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Yeh. I know you all laughed so hard before you realised who posted the joke and decided to lynch me instead
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 00:19   #17
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Is it telling us that Jamaicans are materialistic?
Did you know there was a FIGHT CLUB COMPUTER GAME now for XBox?

The centrepiece of your existence is now a crappy beat em up.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 00:46   #18
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Z8?
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 00:51   #19
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon Dave
Z8?
Yes..
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 01:09   #20
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
how long has that been out?
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 01:30   #21
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
I've heard the first joke before, except it was a Yuppie and not a Jamaican. He spoke differently.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 01:32   #22
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurashima
Did you know there was a FIGHT CLUB COMPUTER GAME now for XBox?

The centrepiece of your existence is now a crappy beat em up.


I knew about it ages ago.

In fact i think i commented here on the irony of an anti-consummerism book being made into a computer game.

I also cried.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 01:56   #23
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Demon Dave
how long has that been out?
for at least the last 3 james bond movies i think.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 02:32   #24
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Is it telling us that Jamaicans are materialistic?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
I suppose it's telling us that Jamaicans are materialistic...
Look a few posts up.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 02:54   #25
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Flavius, what's the name of your avatar girl? she's so god damn hot
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 03:08   #26
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
Look a few posts up. :rolleyes:


OHHHH NOES I TOTALLY MISSED THAT!
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 03:17   #27
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
OHHHH NOES I TOTALLY MISSED THAT!
Damn right you did, hoe!
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 07:28   #28
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
The jamaican didn't rob anyone with his penis so i didn't see the funny.

But n e way, is hot minx young female singers the new avatar craze, skiddy/blastoderm etc?
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 08:48   #29
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusselt
But n e way, is hot minx young female singers the new avatar craze, skiddy/blastoderm etc?


welcome to 2 weeks ago
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 11:38   #30
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inferno
Yeh. I know you all laughed so hard before you realised who posted the joke and decided to lynch me instead
Yes, we all hate you that much.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 11:43   #31
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Are Jamaicans materialistic? I was unaware of that fact.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 12:26   #32
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Actually I didn't mind it, except probably was less funny as I'm not up enough on Jamaican culture to appreciate it fully.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 13:36   #33
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Are Jamaicans materialistic? I was unaware of that fact.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
Is it telling us that Jamaicans are materialistic?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
I suppose it's telling us that Jamaicans are materialistic...
Yet another person missed my post. I guess it's sailing past everyone's heads...
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 13:44   #34
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusselt
But n e way, is hot minx young female singers the new avatar craze, skiddy/blastoderm etc?
I saw her picture on Yahoo's LaunchCast. I knew how much everyone drooled over her when there was a thread about her (and that funny link Leshy did) so I decided to have it as an avatar... for a while.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 14:18   #35
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inferno
Yeh. I know you all laughed so hard before you realised who posted the joke and decided to lynch me instead
who are you?
did you do something particularly crap and think of yourself as an anti hero?
if so you werent particulary memorable

anyway
the joke was terrible not even slightly amusing in it offensiveness
and the phonetic spelling made it irritating to read
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 14:22   #36
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by madi
and the phonetic spelling made it irritating to read
That's how Jamaicans speak.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 14:39   #37
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nusselt
The jamaican didn't rob anyone with his penis so i didn't see the funny.

But n e way, is hot minx young female singers the new avatar craze, skiddy/blastoderm etc?
It's my solution to the common problem of tabbing between GD and The Hun whilst masturbating.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 15:57   #38
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
I thought Inferno's was shit. Ste's made me grin though
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 17:21   #39
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by Blastoderm
Yet another person missed my post. I guess it's sailing past everyone's heads...
But are they in fact materialistic?
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 19:21   #40
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by idimmu
so its ok to be racist, as long as as their isnt any hint of sexual connotation?
Heh. Now I can put that golliwog avatar in, that I always wanted! I was scared Inferno would object to it before
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 19:43   #41
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Quote:
Originally Posted by madi
and the phonetic spelling made it irritating to read
Az wi awl no, peepul hu dount pronauns wurdz hau thei aa spelt aa iliteret and unejuceited, and funetic speling showz hau infeeria thei aa and alauz us tu moc them mor eezily.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 19:50   #42
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
So we're meant to think Jamaicans are materialistic then?
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yeh so Plastic Brilliance is now known as FOXYSTOAT - Come on by and check it out!
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 19:58   #43
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
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Originally Posted by Ste
So we're meant to think Jamaicans are materialistic then?
What's a Jamaican?
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 20:01   #44
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
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Originally Posted by Ste
So we're meant to think Jamaicans are materialistic then?
Well black people love their 'bling-bling', right?
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 20:01   #45
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Exclamation Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Paedophilia has it all.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 21:07   #46
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
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Originally Posted by idimmu
so its ok to be racist, as long as as their isnt any hint of sexual connotation?
Was it racist? It's just a joke i found which made me laugh.

All those who didnt find it remotely amusing i would recommend you get to know more jamaicans or black people in general. Dont worry, not all of them bite and stab.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 21:08   #47
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
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Originally Posted by madi
who are you?
did you do something particularly crap and think of yourself as an anti hero?
if so you werent particulary memorable
Talk about EXTREMELY short term memory.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 22:05   #48
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
Shut up you cock.
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 22:22   #49
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
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Originally Posted by Inferno
Was it racist? It's just a joke i found which made me laugh.

All those who didnt find it remotely amusing i would recommend you get to know more jamaicans or black people in general. Dont worry, not all of them bite and stab.
I'll go out now and find some darkies to tell that joke to, how can I fail to make friends?!
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Unread 17 Nov 2004, 22:40   #50
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Re: A Jamaican driving in his new BMW
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Originally Posted by pablissimo
I'll go out now and find some darkies to tell that joke to, how can I fail to make friends?!
Yeah, you got the general idea.
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