User Name
Password

Go Back   Planetarion Forums > Non Planetarion Discussions > General Discussions

Reply
Thread Tools Display Modes
Unread 27 Mar 2010, 15:26   #1
Kurashima
Has Soup On His Head
 
Kurashima's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 10,095
Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Kurashima has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Random Joke

Nicolas Sarkozy, The French President, is sitting in his office when his telephone rings.

Hallo, Mr. Sarkozy!' a heavily accented voice said. 'This is Paddy down at the Harp Pub in County Clare, Ireland. I am ringing to inform you that we are officially declaring War on you!'

'Well, Paddy,' Sarkozy replied, 'This is indeed important news! How big is your army?'

Right now,' says Paddy, after a moment's calculation, 'there is meself, me Cousin Sean, me next door neighbor Seamus, and the entire darts team from the pub. That makes eight!'

Sarkozy paused. 'I must tell you Paddy that I have 100,000 men in my army waiting to move on my command.'

'Begorra!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to ring you back...'

Sure enough, the next day, Paddy calls again. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the War is still on. We have managed to get us some infantry equipment!'

And what equipment would that be Paddy?' Sarkozy asks.

'Well, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Murphy's farm tractor.'

Sarkozy sighs, amused. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 6,000 tanks and 5,000 armored personnel carriers. Also, I have increased my army to 150,000 since we last spoke.'

Saints preserve us!' says Paddy. 'I'll have to get back to you.' Sure enough, Paddy rings again the next day. 'Mr. Sarkozy, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne!

'We have modified Jackie McLaughlin's ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Shamrock Bar have joined us as well!'

Sarkozy was silent for a minute and then cleared his throat. 'I must tell you, Paddy, that I have 100 Bombers and 200 fighter planes. My military bases are surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I have increased my army to 200,000!'

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph!' says Paddy, 'I will have to ring you back.'

Sure enough, Paddy calls again the next day. 'Top o' the mornin', Mr. Sarkozy! I am sorry to inform you that we have had to call off the war.'

Really? I am sorry to hear that,' says Sarkozy. 'Why the sudden change of heart?'

'Well,' says Paddy, 'we had a long chat over a few pints of Guinness and decided there is no fookin' way we can feed 200,000 French prisoners.
__________________
And the Banker, inspired with a courage so new
It was matter for general remark,
Rushed madly ahead and was lost to their view
In his zeal to discover the Snark
Kurashima is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 27 Mar 2010, 15:49   #2
SilverSmoke
Guy next door
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
SilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so little
Re: Random Joke

i just can't handle reading stories in which ****ing is spelled as fookin', sorry
__________________
..look
SilverSmoke is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 27 Mar 2010, 17:19   #3
Aryn
Happy
 
Aryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
Aryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Random Joke

it was a great joke kura :P
and you wrecked it mr. bitter :\ stop being like yahwe and maybe people will want to post more.
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
Aryn is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 1 Apr 2010, 00:54   #4
Tomkat
:alpha:
 
Tomkat's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Tomkat has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Re: Random Joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke View Post
i just can't handle reading stories in which ****ing is spelled as fookin', sorry
It's spelt like that because of the Irish accent, dumbass.

I enjoyed it Kura
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
Tomkat is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 1 Apr 2010, 11:27   #5
SilverSmoke
Guy next door
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
SilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so little
Re: Random Joke

ok now let me tell you something about some old frisian dialects you might not recognise and still consider dumb
__________________
..look
SilverSmoke is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 1 Apr 2010, 14:23   #6
Mzyxptlk
mz.
Alien Invasion Champion, Submarine Champion, Tiger Punch Champion, Barts Watersports Adventure Champion
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,587
Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.Mzyxptlk has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Re: Random Joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aryn View Post
stop being like yahwe
I giggled.
__________________
The outraged poets threw sticks and rocks over the side of the bridge. They were all missing Mary and he felt a contented smug feeling wash over him. He would have given them a coy little wave if the roof hadn't collapsed just then. Mary then found himself in the middle of an understandably shocked family's kitchen table. So he gave them the coy little wave and realized it probably would have been more effective if he hadn't been lying on their turkey.
Mzyxptlk is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 1 Apr 2010, 14:55   #7
Juice
The liquid crusader
 
Juice's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: North East England
Posts: 109
Juice is on a distinguished road
Re: Random Joke

Now that was funny.
__________________
No officer, there's no blood in my alcohol system
Juice is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 1 Apr 2010, 15:48   #8
SilverSmoke
Guy next door
 
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
SilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so littleSilverSmoke contributes so much and asks for so little
Re: Random Joke

Quote:
Originally Posted by Aryn View Post
and you wrecked it mr. bitter :\ stop being like yahwe and maybe people will want to post more.

trap..has...sprung....muhahaha
__________________
..look
SilverSmoke is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 1 Apr 2010, 18:24   #9
Aryn
Happy
 
Aryn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
Aryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond reputeAryn has a reputation beyond repute
Re: Random Joke

__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
Aryn is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 2 Apr 2010, 07:25   #10
david.carroll01
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1
david.carroll01 is an unknown quantity at this point
Re: Random Joke

I have enjoyed the joke.
__________________
Military gifts specialists offer a select range of custom designed Army Rings for all branches of the armed services.
david.carroll01 is offline   Reply With Quote
Unread 4 Apr 2010, 18:37   #11
Texan
Prince of Amber
 
Texan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Heidelberg, Germany
Posts: 1,313
Texan is infamous around these partsTexan is infamous around these partsTexan is infamous around these partsTexan is infamous around these partsTexan is infamous around these partsTexan is infamous around these partsTexan is infamous around these partsTexan is infamous around these parts
Re: Random Joke

Kura,
I have a couple of weeks vacation saved up. May I come visit you?

If you want, I will bring my collection of Irish Folk Songs CDs.
Love always,
Tex
__________________
"We sleep safe at night in our beds because rough men stand ready to visit violence upon those who wish to do us harm." -- George Orwell.
Texan is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Forum Jump


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 13:32.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2002 - 2018