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18 Dec 2003, 21:08
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#1
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Love advice :/
Cant belive im doing thos on GD, But i need to know im not being stupidly bitter for no reason.
Situation before last Thursday -
Been with my Gf for 15 months, loving her to peaces, had a couple of breakups but allways got back together, everything seems fine.
Last Thursday -
Am with my gf, in her room, She goes downstairs for some reason or another, and she gets a txt, I read it as shes recently had a bit of a problem with me reading her txts and i couldnt help myself (Yeah i know, dickish of me) But the txt is something along the lines of "Baby i miss you so much, i love you to bits" or something like that, Looking through her phone I find 2 more, one along simmiler lines, and one dirty one.
Querying her about this she says that she never replies in dirty or lovey ways, she just treats him as a friend, and he goes to far, I ask why she dosnt tell him to F off, and she says "I dont wanna loose him as a friend" I ask who he is and she says "Some guy from london (Were in shropshire)" and i ask how they met "in a chatroom"
So i ask her to txt him in front of me and tell him to stop txting her stuff like that as she has a bf etc, She refuses saying "Dont you trust me?!?!?!" and "I dont wanna waste my time i just wanna spend it with you" I reply with "Yes i do trust you i dont trust him" and "Well your not gonna spend time with me till uve sent the txt cos ill be thinking about it constintly"
We argue, and i ask her "Well im walking out of this house right now if you dont send the txt" she says "So your gonna dump me?" i say "No i just need time to think" she says "Do what you want" so i walk out
That night she txts me that shes really sorry that shes a bad gf, and shes sent the txt, i reply saying "Youve really hurt me by just causing all this" and say i need time to think.
Saterday - Two days later she has txted me both days saying the usual wants me to come over etc, then she texts saying "You havnt said you love me in three days" i txt back "I love you" and we leave it for the night.
Sunday - I ring her to see if i can go see her, to find out shes at her dads gf's house and i cant see her, fair play i think, and we are acting kinda normal, that night we chat on msn and i say ive baught her a present etc but that night my car has a fault, so i txt her saying "Seeing you has been put on hold cos my car has gone wrong. x"
Monday - I get a txt out of the blue saying "I cant wait any longer, forget coming to see me if you still dont know if you love me im not interested, bye"
And now shes acting like it was me that finished it but shes acting like a friend etc,
Am i wrong to feel extreemly bitter when i talk to her?
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:10
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#2
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Love advice :/
No. It's her fault for valuing the person she's never met from the internet (oh sweet irony) over you.
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18 Dec 2003, 21:14
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#3
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Love advice :/
so that's why she finally agreed to sleep with me
ps: i treat snooping the way our courts do, if you find stuff you don't like while looking where you shouldn't be looking, you have no right to be mad.
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18 Dec 2003, 21:17
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#4
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Im getting over my bitterness by keeping her on block, and occasionly unblocking her and shouting random reasons why she should feel crap then blocking her again.
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:19
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#5
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Cute and cuddly
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 1,891
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Re: Love advice :/
dump her and become a queer, once you've had (arse)crack you'll never go back
__________________
"You're a ****ing ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood."
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18 Dec 2003, 21:20
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#6
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bloomers III
dump her and become a queer, once you've had (arse)crack you'll never go back
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Did you not read the "She finished with me" bit? :S
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:21
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#7
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Love advice :/
yeah.
and i almost never take the girl's side, because they are almost always entirely wrong, but yours is completely right. except for dating you.
(mabbe u r well hung LOL)
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18 Dec 2003, 21:24
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#8
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Cute and cuddly
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: New York
Posts: 1,891
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheekybru
Did you not read the "She finished with me" bit? :S
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obviously not, i just thought this would be a good time for a gay joke :Gandalf:
__________________
"You're a ****ing ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your blood."
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18 Dec 2003, 21:25
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#9
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
yeah.
and i almost never take the girl's side, because they are almost always entirely wrong, but yours is completely right. except for dating you.
(mabbe u r well hung LOL)
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Wanna give me reasons why shes right or you just going for the "lol lets post bs" factor?
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:27
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#10
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Born Sinful
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Loughborough, UK
Posts: 4,059
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheekybru
"Yes i do trust you i dont trust him"
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Ooops!
Never EVER say this!
Most women will take this to mean exactly the same as "I don't trust you", which really it does. If you were in a trustworthy relationship it wouldn't matter what anyone else tried to get up to (short of rape) because she'd refuse.
One of my best friends at uni has spent most of last year (our first year there) trying to coach her boyfriend away from being posessive, and that was the very excuse he used all the time.
__________________
Worth dying for. Worth killing for. Worth going to hell for. Amen.
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18 Dec 2003, 21:29
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#11
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheekybru
Wanna give me reasons why shes right or you just going for the "lol lets post bs" factor?
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1. she's allowed to have any friends she wants
2. what her friends txt her isn't her fault
3. you shouldn't have looked at her phone
4. you aren't her boss, you can't tell her what to do
5. she apologized anyway
for starters.
6. and when you can't see her cause your car broke down, you really should do more than text her.
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18 Dec 2003, 21:29
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#12
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by meglamaniac
Ooops!
Never EVER say this!
Most women will take this to mean exactly the same as "I don't trust you", which really it does. If you were in a trustworthy relationship it wouldn't matter what anyone else tried to get up to (short of rape) because she'd refuse.
One of my best friends at uni has spent most of last year (our first year there) trying to coach her boyfriend away from being posessive, and that was the very excuse he used all the time.
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So what should I have done? And i mean that seriously, If i cant change the past better make myself better for the future
And please dont say "Nothing" because it would of just stayed on my mind bugging me
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:32
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#13
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
1. she's allowed to have any friends she wants
2. what her friends txt her isn't her fault
3. you shouldn't have looked at her phone
4. you aren't her boss, you can't tell her what to do
5. she apologized anyway
1) I never said ANYTHING to choose her friends or say she couldnt be friends with the guy
2) But why couldnt she send one simple txt to save the feelings of someone she supposadly loved?
3) accepted
4) I asked her to do it, and what huirt me was that she was willing to not do it even tho she knew it would hurt me
5) i accepted her appology and made it clear i wanted to sort things out, then she dumped me
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:35
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#14
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Born Sinful
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Loughborough, UK
Posts: 4,059
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheekybru
So what should I have done? And i mean that seriously, If i cant change the past better make myself better for the future
And please dont say "Nothing" because it would of just stayed on my mind bugging me
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Well, the choices would have been:
a) lie through your teeth and tell her everything is fine
b) tell her the truth - that the behaviour of this friend is upsetting you, and is at the very least making you jealous (which naturally leads to trust problems)
Incidentally, had she ever met they guy?
__________________
Worth dying for. Worth killing for. Worth going to hell for. Amen.
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18 Dec 2003, 21:36
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#15
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J to the C to the A G E
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Scúnthorpe
Posts: 5,583
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Re: Love advice :/
I bet it hurt her that you blew it out of proportion.
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18 Dec 2003, 21:38
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#16
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by meglamaniac
Well, the choices would have been:
a) lie through your teeth and tell her everything is fine
b) tell her the truth - that the behaviour of this friend is upsetting you, and is at the very least making you jealous (which naturally leads to trust problems)
Incidentally, had she ever met they guy?
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A) woulda left me thinking all the time whether shes txting him and vise versa
b) thats kinda what i did, but your way woulda been better yeah
She has told me that she hasnt, and shes not really the kinda girl to get a train down to london just for a lad
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:38
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#17
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lolly roffle
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 5,514
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Re: Love advice :/
Mate you 2 break up more times per week than i change my socks. I think its about time you stopped putting yourself through this.
__________________
eXcessum
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18 Dec 2003, 21:38
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#18
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by LHC
I bet it hurt her that you blew it out of proportion.
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How did i blow it out of proportion, this dirty txt he sent her was pretty dam dirty
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:39
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#19
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Love advice :/
My girlfriend knows if she won't do anal my feelings will be hurt, but if I force her too, then I'm the rapist!! double-standard ahoy.
j/k. i understand where you are coming from, but the whole issue boils down to whether or not she should have txted that boy what you told her to say.
in my opinion, she shouldn't have, simply because you were making her choose between your relationship and her freedom. and that's how abusive relationships start, and i think all girls should get in the habit of saying no. i know it's annoying as hell. and not even trying to imply you'd be abusive.
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18 Dec 2003, 21:40
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#20
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by JC
Mate you 2 break up more times per week than i change my socks. I think its about time you stopped putting yourself through this.
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Yeah i know i know i gotta, and im 99% sure this will be the last one, cos im really hating her right now, But, i just need to know that i have a reason to feel bitter
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:42
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#21
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
My girlfriend knows if she won't do anal my feelings will be hurt, but if I force her too, then I'm the rapist!! double-standard ahoy.
j/k. i understand where you are coming from, but the whole issue boils down to whether or not she should have txted that boy what you told her to say.
in my opinion, she shouldn't have, simply because you were making her choose between your relationship and her freedom. and that's how abusive relationships start, and i think all girls should get in the habit of saying no. i know it's annoying as hell. and not even trying to imply you'd be abusive.
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Yeah i can see your point of view, but if you look at it from where i was, i got her choosing some lad from the internet over her bf of 15 months, and that hurt a lot
Anyway, im going for some food now, be back in 10
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 21:46
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#22
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheekybru
Yeah i can see your point of view, but if you look at it from where i was, i got her choosing some lad from the internet over her bf of 15 months, and that hurt a lot
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that's not how i'd look at it though.
she wasn't choosing him over you, she was choosing herself over you. and of course that's still going to feel bad, but as i said it's generally the right choice if you want to have a healthy relationship.
properly, you should tell her how you feel about it, and let her do the right thing on her own. if she doesn't, then you've got a complaint.
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18 Dec 2003, 21:51
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#23
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Historian
Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 960
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Re: Love advice :/
You were doing fine until you insisted she ACT RIGHT NOW THIS INSTANT OR YOU LEAVE, which you then did. Tell her your problem, explain why it hurts your feelings, and then let her fix it herself.
I would apologise for delivering an ultimatum, explain how you never doubted that she loved you, and then calmy explain why you were hurt, even though you over-reacted.
An excellent tactic it to use the old "Imagine the situation is reversed, a girl you do not know that I met on a chat room is sending me sexy text messages, and I dont want to discourage them because it might 'damage the friendship'. How would you react to that?"
But you did over-react, and you painted her into an impossible corner, possibly because you are young and stupid. Go make up.
__________________
"This is Rumour control, here are the facts..."
"Et nunc, reges, intelligite, er udimini, qui judicati terram"
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18 Dec 2003, 21:54
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#24
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Gubbish
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: #FoW
Posts: 2,323
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by acropolis
that's not how i'd look at it though.
she wasn't choosing him over you, she was choosing herself over you. and of course that's still going to feel bad, but as i said it's generally the right choice if you want to have a healthy relationship.
properly, you should tell her how you feel about it, and let her do the right thing on her own. if she doesn't, then you've got a complaint.
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I think this is nonsense as well. He has a complaint? Sure, he might have a reason to think they won't fit together, but how it's her fault is beyond me.
__________________
Gubble gubble gubble gubble
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18 Dec 2003, 21:55
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#25
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: Love advice :/
if it was meant to be it was meant to be
move on dude
__________________
Forum Administrator
Mail : [email protected] // IRC : #forums
__________________
It's not personal, it's just business.
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18 Dec 2003, 22:05
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#26
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Well thx for the differnt points of view, im not gonna go make up with her cos as JC says, Weve done this b4, and its time to move on, But maybe ill feel a little less bitter now
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 22:06
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#27
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: Love advice :/
Slit your wrists* and end the pain.
*slit hers first
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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18 Dec 2003, 22:07
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#28
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by cheekybru
Well thx for the differnt points of view, im not gonna go make up with her cos as JC says, Weve done this b4, and its time to move on, But maybe ill feel a little less bitter now
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now that you've broken up with her it's time to post nude pix online and tell us how she is in bed
[edit]nude pix of her ta[/edit]
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18 Dec 2003, 22:11
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#29
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
when i was going out with her she said i could take pix but i diddnt have a cam on me, and i diddnt think it was THAT importent cos i could see it all anyways,
CURSE MY SHORT SIGHTEDNESS
PS
Just found an email from her from today, made me feel a bit bad about shouting random bad things at her on msn earlier
watching LOTR2 in class and made me think of u so ellooooo!!!!!
Ta ra xx Bex xx
*Gurlie*
My bad :/
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 22:13
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#30
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: Love advice :/
do you look like sam?
or maybe the little orc like fellow. gimley?(sp)
ooo no...of course......smeegal
you ugly bastard.
no wonder she left. :-((((((
__________________
Forum Administrator
Mail : [email protected] // IRC : #forums
__________________
It's not personal, it's just business.
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18 Dec 2003, 22:17
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#31
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: Love advice :/
You do realise that in ten years time you'll all be looking back at these times and thinking 'fk me I was a dimwitted shite back in those days' and laughing about it.
TELLING YOUR THIRTEEN YEAR OLD GIRLFRIEND YOU'LL LOVE THEM FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE IS A WASTE OF TIME*
*Unless you're Dace, of course. **
**Actually, this whole post was just so I could put the *Unless you're Dace bit. Sorry about that***
***Unless you're Dace, of course.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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18 Dec 2003, 22:20
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#32
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: Love advice :/
I hate you DM like i hate my father.
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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18 Dec 2003, 22:21
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#33
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,944
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I hate you DM like i hate my father.
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You hate your dad a fair bit don't you?
__________________
I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying
Are the best i've ever had
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18 Dec 2003, 22:21
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#34
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Love advice :/
You should probably learn to relax and not worry what txt msgs your girlfriend is getting. If you felt kind sickened by the msgs of the phone, just don't read them in future.
Think about it, you probably jeapordised your relationship with someone you love because of some person she was speaking to on MSN. That's kind of ridiculous.
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18 Dec 2003, 22:36
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#35
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Its just the way were thinking differnt, id say she jepordised it by not sending a simple txt to a guy she only considers a friend, telling him she only wants to be friends, If a girl was sending txts like that to me and she found them, she would go absaloutly sick b4 i even explaind :/
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 22:42
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#36
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Clerk
Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 13,940
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Re: Love advice :/
Just because she'd act irrationally doesn't really justify your demands. However, Vermillion is right - you can just appeal to a sense of consistency. Ask how she'd feel in the same situation, etc.
She probably didn't care about the other guy one jot until YOU made it an issue. It's like with anything. If someone comes up to me and asks (nicely) for a quid or whatever, I'll generally give it if I have it. If someone demands it, they've instantly caused a confrontation and I generally wouldn't give it.
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18 Dec 2003, 22:44
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#37
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: Love advice :/
It's a good thing no-one on GD knows your phone number, as you'd be bombarded with
'i luv ur bum, it feels so gud when i put my cok in it'
messages,from people you (might) like, then if your so-called gf saw the messages, would you do what she asked and text someone you think is a friend on here, telling them you don't want to talk to them again, would you?
P.S. Dace, stop sending me msgs like that. I like you, you're a good laugh, but I don't like you like that. Sorry.*
* In all honesty, Dace isn't sending me msgs saying ''i luv ur bum, it feels so gud when i put my cok in it', this entire post was just so I could put the end-piece about Dace in. Sorry.**
** His messages are normally more the
'id luv your bum, it wud feel so gud when i put my cok in it, but u r 2 old'
type. My mistake.***
*** HI DACE !
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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18 Dec 2003, 22:45
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#38
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Registered User
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 8,476
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Re: Love advice :/
Do you 2 normally play stupid power games, or is this a one-off?
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18 Dec 2003, 22:47
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#39
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Synaptidian
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 256
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Re: Love advice :/
Dead_Meat makes me laugh
__________________
#eXcessum forever \o/
<vampy> Cheek is 1337
<Zeus> Cheek is 1337 <-- maybe?
<idimmu> Cheek is 1337
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18 Dec 2003, 22:47
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#40
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2000
Posts: 4,944
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
It's a good thing no-one on GD knows your phone number, as you'd be bombarded with
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That reminds me, must give Kura my new number of i won't get any more of those texts
__________________
I find it kind of funny
I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which i'm dying
Are the best i've ever had
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18 Dec 2003, 23:27
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#41
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dennaB
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 586
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Re: Love advice :/
ITT Old people are funny
__________________
:Gandalf:
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19 Dec 2003, 01:00
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#42
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Born Sinful
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Loughborough, UK
Posts: 4,059
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Re: Love advice :/
Quote:
Originally Posted by I'm Not Grimble
ITT Old people are funny
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Well, I wouldn't go THAT far. I mean lets not get carried away here...
__________________
Worth dying for. Worth killing for. Worth going to hell for. Amen.
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