Victim of Marriage
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 784
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New Years Party with the Hillbillies
I forgot to post on my Hillbilly Christmas, but it was actually kind of decent. There was the normal drinking and poker playing, and people chain smoking, but nothing really spectacularly redneck happened.
Anywho, I start off by taking my wife to go rent 'Devil Wears Prada' because she wanted to let her friend Justine watch it since my wife think's it's just so damn funny and a really good movie. When we get to Justine's house, it's just her and her boyfriend Daryll who's sick but decides to be a good host and come out to greet us anyway. So I sit there and about fall asleep while my wife and Justine watch the movie and she fixes one of the nails that she spent 6 hours putting on her friend on Christmas and one of them broke or something during the week.
After the movie they get a call and find out that someone they hate with a dear passion (Janice) is going to be there, and Justine flips out and starts ranting she doesn't even want to go. I have to give some fun backstory on this one. A few months ago, right around just after my thread about the hillbilly funeral, Janice, and Daryll's brother Randy, which the two are dating got in a fight and Janice had Randy thrown in jail, and they split up. Randy dated at least 2 other people since, and basically everyone that was going to be at the party yesterday couldn't stand Janice, and was shocked that the two were back together.
Well after prodding from Daryll, the four of us finally head over the 2 blocks to there friend Tim's house (they call trailers houses down there). Tim had just put up a enclosure on the front porch to add another room, which he set up the poker table in and had all the beer and I almost fell over out of shock when I saw coke and pepsi there too (we're talking about a guy who only drink's beer, not water, not pop, not milk, etc., just beer). He's really good with wood and whatnot, my wife said he'll make wardrobes and armoirs and stuff that would normally sell for about 2 grand and just give them to people. After we got there my wife told him that for her birthday in April she wanted Tim to build us a crib. Everything was then going fine for about 20 minutes until my wife and Justine realize they left something over at Justine's house, and want to go back, then the first incident happened where Janice and Randy grab Justine by the arm and tell her she has to try this shot called a 'mustang'. She tells them no, and they practically drag her into the kitchen and almost force her to take it, so she does the shot, they leave and come back and let it slip.
Then we start playing this game 'Adult Trivia' which is basically a trivia game about sex and other such things for hopefully mature people. We play guys versus girls and the girls start winning (us guys had thoroughly stomped them on Christmas), and then one of the questions is 'What do lesbians say to each other as a pick-up line?', and Janice gives a hint which is basically the answer to her boyfriend Randy and the other girls heard her and that was the end of the game because they all started getting pissed off about it (she'd said "face" and the answer was "your face or mine").
So then we went out to start playing poker, my wife, Justine, Daryll, Tim, his girlfriend Sarah, and myself. We played a few rounds and were having a nice quiet peaceful friendly game, then Janice came out and decided to join us, and just wouldn't shut up and started irritating everyone to the point we all pretty much got up and left our chips on the table and didn't go back. Tim's sister Tammy had shown up and I guess had given Daryll a friendly new years peck on the cheek after he'd left the game and we were still out there, and Janice told Justine that they were making out. Justine then asked everyone in the room and realized that the friendly peck on the cheek was what happened.
As midnight neared, Janice started shaking up a champagne bottle to which everyone was opposed as you don't just do that in someone else's house. She spilled some on my Justine's shirt. Then did a group hug thing where she knocked her boyfriend Randy into an 85 year old cactus which he wasn't too happy about, and neither was Tim. She then yelled happy new year in my ear and then I wanted to strangle her. That's about the time my wife and I left because I had to work today (well yesterday now).
Anywho, Justine tried to call us at 3am but we didn't answer, so she got ahold of my wife after I went to work, and when I got home my wife told me we should've stayed another hour. Apparently after we left, not only did Janice decide to take off her shirt and bra, but decided to get into it with our Tammy. Justine was outside getting the poker chips because Janice just started bitching about wanting her money from that, and while she was out there she heard commotion then Tim saying "Get the f*** out of my house." Janice tried to do something to my Daryll's hand, then I guess Randy was struggling to get her free of them or something and they fell backwads down the stairs leading outside with him on bottom. Then the brawl continued outside, Janice had a deathgrip on Tammy for some reason, and Tim, two other guests, Sarah, and Justine were trying to get Janice off of Tammy, while my Daryll was trying to restrain his brother from helping. My wife said Justine was jumping up and down on Janice's arm and 'using it as a trampolene' and she still wouldn't let go.
Anywho, the main reason that her friend called to update her on the fight was because Justine broke one of her nails during the scuffle and needs my wife to fix it for her.
Edit: I didn't realize that was so long. Oh well, it served it's purpose, a good story about hillbillies and a good fight, and for those who caught my subtle hint about my wife needing a crib, that was my hidden point.
Secondary Edit: For confusion purposes I fixed it with fictional names for the real people.
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You mean there's life outside the internet...oh man I'm screwed.
Last edited by jt25man; 2 Jan 2007 at 20:44.
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