Right then! Weekend,walking and alcohol

[IncubusGod]

Here's a long account of a strange night. Again, its long so be warned.

It seems people have had a habit of walking too much while drunk of late on this board. I'm no exception.

I was out on Saturday night with a m8 I head out with now and again. The combination of this guy and me usually end's with us drunk and doing somthing stupid,illegal,dangerous,fun or all of the above.

We went to farenheit 911 and decided to get pissed after it.

His parents are away for the week so I dropped my car home, got 4 cans of heiniken that were left and went to his house. We sat there drinking the cans (well I sat there drinking the cans, he nursed one can and apparently wasn't quite "in the mood" there and then)


Now when God was handing out the 'getting dressed' portion of peoples brains, he was in the womans queue. He takes an ETERNITY to get ready.

He agonises over what will look good but it has to be something he's not worn out in 2weeks+, each shirt has to be tried on over and over with 'diffrerent' trousers (they are all the fking same,black & formal). Anyway, I leave him to get ready and watch TV. He says he'll be 10mins, I laugh.


He's more than an hour. I've run through the other 3 cans that were left and started on some vodka and coke he'd pored for me. I hate Vodka but I drink it anyway.


He eventually came down wearing clothes that should have taken him no more than 3 minutes to select and put on. It's not worth slagging him as he doesn't see the humour in it so we leave.


Walking in from his house to town takes about 25 mins, so we chat about the film and plans for the night on the way in. He gets a phonecall on the way and its a m8 of his (random m8 #1) who wants to meet up for a drink.


This guy I've met once before and he had numerous beautiful women in tow so we agreed there an then to swing by his place on the way to the pub.

Meanwhile on the way there we ran into another guy we both knew (random m8 #2), chatted bland plesantries for a while, then were invited to join him and his friends at a birthday celebration for some gay but fabulous *limp wrist* friends.



Again, this crowd is a good enough laugh but,as with most gay crowds, seems to draw attractive women in by the dozen. We agreed and said we'd be along later.


So...walking in the road we thought this was our night. There should be hot chicks everywhere.


Meeting up with random m8 #1 we noticed a distinct lack of women.

Shrugging this off we all walked for the pub where we were supposed to meet random m8 #2.

Sat down inside and started to drink.Pint after pint went down and we realised that the people we were there to meet were M.I.A.

When some seats became available I hopped on the couch and waited for the 2 lads to join me.

They took some outside seats.

Leaving me dangerously exposed to some burly rugby jock who looked like he was going to sit next to me *panic*

Instead a hot art chick sat and I realsied that praying can help sometimes.

Seeing as how I was starting to get nicely steamed I thought it'd be a fantatic idea to talk to this girl.

Normally a big mistake I found myself confident,witty and above all enjoying myself with this girl. She seemed interested in me too and we were having a good conversation about art and how she's heading to london to do her masters in art etc.


Ofc I was thinking it was all too good to be true when she dropped the fact she had a bf into the conversation. ...

Trying to stop the smile on my face from crashing down like some cheap greek scaffolding was hard, not sure if I succeeded.

Failure #1

Eventually we found out the others had since left and gone to another pub. We finshed up and walked there.
Drank with them, some women, two hot chicks. Hitting the Jack Daniels now (always a bad sign) things went a bit weird.


Being hard to have a conversation with anyone over the noise we went dancing.

Now I pride myself on my ability to seemlessly fuse into a indistinguishable copy of Mr. Justin Timberlake on the dancefloor, or at least I think I do when I've had a bit to drink.

I'm not a bad dancer, I get better it seems the more alcohol I imbibe as this makes all those shitty dance lessons my cousin gave me years ago (pro dancer,danced for Jo Lo on European tour) come rushing back.

"The secret is not to give a shit. So long as you don't care and enjoy yourself (and dont look like a nob) then your golden."


I was doing quite well, girls started to fall for it, the beat was pumping etc.
\o/
\o\
\o/
_o/
Then the DJ decides that I'm clearly too close to scoring with this one hot chick so he puts on some ****ing SMITHS desolate wrist slitting music and everyone vacates the floor.

Failure #2

Quite annoyed at this I went upto the DJ and asked if he could play something a little less depressing,that all the girls were in the bathroom taking overdoses and fashioning crude nooses from their handbags.

He has some interesting views on where to put my opinons and the glass I was holding. I expressed some polite irritation with his kind suggestions and he then decided to show how in-charge he was by playing only slow depressing music the rest of the night.

This ment that people left the club like rats out of a sewer pipe. The hot girl I was hitting on in the general group also left along with most of the group, all without telling us.

Failure #3

Feeling somewhat dejected and tired at this stage, we left too and stood around outside the club looking for anyone we knew.

I got chatting to some people and was invited back to a house party by some spanish girls. Thinking my luck had changed I started down the road.

Fate saw this and got it's biggest spanner out, threw it and not only put it in the works, it bashed the entire thing to senceless death just for good measure.

We walked the long way to this house where we were greeted by flashing blue lights and two paddy-wagons.
:eek:

Turns out the cops had been called on the party and they'd found ppl smoking hash.

Needless to say alot of the group didn't stick around and my and my m8 ended up on our own once more, sans-females.

Alarming Failure #4

This was getting rediculous and we were about to head home when we were called over by some of the group we'd met with earlier.


They were pissed off too and were going to get wine (hey it's still alcohol) at a garage and head to someones house for a party.

We joined them and walked clear across the city on the way to this house, we stopped at various 24hr garages to let the two girls in the group try and get some guy to sell them wine (legally they cant sell it after 12:30)

They were enhanching the cleavage and flirtting it up like a pair of $2 tarts. Was great!

It was at one of these garages that I saw something beautiful that, for once that night, didn't have a pair of tits on it.

It had a pair of tit's looking at it though.

It was a Ferrari 355, yellow.

Gorgeous.


Especially when pissed.

I wandered up to it,walked around to talk to the driver, he rolled down the windown and I exclaimed "Dont look now, but someones nicked your steering wheel".

They laughed and I only then realised it was left hand drive. Went round to the drivers side and started talking to him.

The two tits I mentioned were two townie scumbags who were standing by their modified toyota corolla sneering at the Ferrari.

The guy let me sit in it and all (brave man to let some strange drunk ferrari fan in your car at 4am). It was this moment the two townied said "Ere, that's not a ferrari, that's a fake. That's a MR2 with a body kit"

I never saw such a look of hate in a guys eyes. I got out, he got in and floored it out of the garage. The sound was glorious and it showed up the two townies.

Anyway at this stage they'd failed to get any wine.

We walked to this house that was at least 2 miles away.

On the way we found a football and proceeded to play soccer all the way there.

Running, kicking, crossing, heading. All while drunk, this was wayyyyy too much excercise for us.

Haing reached the house we were then locked out as the guy forgot his key and no-one was home.

Having had enough of all this and after getting nowhere with either of the girls failure # 5 as one had a bf (who was also in this group) and the other was just...stuck up...me and my m8 decided to go home.


I also pledged that if the universe is going to thrust celebacy on me, I may as well join the priesthood and pretend its voluntary.

Unable to get a cab we had to walk clear across the city once more, back to his house. At this stage I was totall shattered.
The exhersion of the night was just too much. I sat on his couch and fell asleep almost immediatley.

Woke up then at 9am. Was bright, sun was streaming through the patio window, scalding me.

I had slept in my contact lenses, had pains all down my legs, was mildly hungover and sleeping in my clothes.

A quick "**** this" later and I was out the door.

Again I tried to call a cab, however I had no credit so, I once again stupidly decided to walk home.

Now its pretty fking far from his house but it seemed even longer in the morning.

Walking in shoes that were ment to look fancy and not be actually used for long periods, I trudged home.
About a mile from home it became a death march.

The only thing missing were a bunch of Nazi's with rifles.

I was willing myself on by the sheer joy I'd feel in my own bed.

Trudge, trudge, trudge, trudge. In my desheveld state.

I started getting blisters on my feet. I wished for death, then I realised that was stupid and I wished for a cab instead.

I eventually got home an hour and a half later. Almost crying, I passed out.

I am still suffering now, even after a full day of rest. I still have blisters on the soles of my feet. I still have pains in my legs. But what an interesting* night.













*May not be true.



Christ that was long.

[Fluffie]

Am I the only one to have read this so far?

[IncubusGod]

Looks like it.


*Depressed*


*Changes name to Dace*


*People read it now*

[Zharkov]

This story delivered

[Phang]

Originally Posted by Zharkov

This story delivered

it delivered twice, in fact, with different formatting.

nonetheless

[JetLinus]

Wow

[IncubusGod]

What's worrying is that's a "regular" night out with him.

The previous night out we ended up breaking to our old school, then into the train yard, climbing the giant containter lifting crane and sneaking our way "army style" through the entire train yard, loading bay and 4 miles of train tracks at 4am.

Actually that's an interesting story too but I dont have the strenght to write that up just yet.

[JetLinus]

I've "visited" my old primary school at about 4am several times now (NOT being sober obviously). But only sneaking around the yard and stuff, not breaking anything. (Although it is told that once some fences might have been moved out of the way [literally])...

I know the feeling one gets from too much drunken walking, it's TERRIBLE! A sunday afternoon spent in your own bet can be HEAVEN (if you got a girl with you even more, but life's a bitch most of the time :-/ ).

[roadrunner_0]

i ended up walking home at 4am the other night when i had work the next morning, but its nowhere near as funny as your story

[Dace]

Originally Posted by IncubusGod

*Changes name to Dace*

I wouldn't advise it.

Bad things happen to me.

You can never be sure but it might have something to do with the name*.

















*prolly not tho

[Dace]

BTW i'm glad ****ed up things happen to other people too :)

[IncubusGod]

Hehe yeah...well things like this have been happening to me pretty much every weekend...since I started going out.

Though reading back over it, I'm amazed I managed to fit so much into one night. I mean, normally all that rejection and hassle has to be spread over several days

Christ I never walked as much as I did that night. I wonder if the excersise outweighed the drinking.

[Weeks]

What city do you live in?

[IncubusGod]

Limerick in Ireland.

Probably not well known internationally, maybe for its poetic namesake and its reputation for violent gangs.

[Dante Hicks]

I think my mother is from Limerick originally.

Just to give you an idea of the sort of retards who hail from that neck of the woods.

[Dace]

Originally Posted by Dante Hicks

I think my mother is from Limerick originally.

Just to give you an idea of the sort of retards who hail from that neck of the woods.

"Thick Hicks" ;)

[Dace]

(BTW by "Hicks" i meant "Yokels" not a reference to Dante etc)

[Lupin]

Originally Posted by IncubusGod

Limerick in Ireland.

hah! i heard this name (the city-name) before and i am german.

go limerick.

[IncubusGod]

It's hardly hick town. Fs, its a large urban city. You want hicks you just have to go about 4 miles in any driection though

:eek: Shock Horror, Dante is part Irish! *forces him to become an alcoholic*

[Dante Hicks]

Originally Posted by IncubusGod

:eek: Shock Horror, Dante is part Irish! *forces him to become an alcoholic*

This last weekend just gone is only the second this year that I haven't got horribly drunk. I'm on the way, don't worry.

(p.s. my surname is Linehan, ofc I'm part Irish fs)

[IncubusGod]

Muhahah our reach is all pervasive.

Join us and live a life of mild interest, oppose us and...erm...have a healthy liver.

[TheShadowMan]

haha incubus you like like sum dude i went to college with, what tabout the jo maxi's? I thought most places in bogger land had invented 'em. Funny story heh

I had drinking competition with a mate on saturday at his christenin, after tweleve scoops i was bollixed drunk and he was just merry only found out at the party after he was after doin about a half oz of whizz feckin cnut.

:-)

tsm

[Stew]

Posting to show my appreciation for the story

[Fluffie]

Originally Posted by Stew

Posting to show my appreciation for the story

[IncubusGod]

*sniff* *wipes tear*

It's all been worth it.

Actually is it a bad sign that on the night in question I thought briefly "I bet I end up posting something about this on the forums"

Bah!

[Tomkat]

I wish I lived in Ireland (EIRE).

Irish girls from there (Northern is more harsh) have the sexiest accents.
I could quite happily marry an Irish girl, just to hear her speak.

[Zaphod I]

Originally Posted by Tomkat

I wish I lived in Ireland (EIRE).

Irish girls from there (Northern is more harsh) have the sexiest accents.
I could quite happily marry an Irish girl, just to hear her speak.

You could always phone every now and the to some xxx-line from there: might become cheaper that way and no nagging

-Zaps