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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 08:56   #1
skiddy
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Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
Can anyone help with this software problem my friend is experiencing?
Eighteen months ago he upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking Mates 4.2 which he'd used for years without any trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is also incompatible with several other applications, such as Lads Night Out 3.1, Football 2 and Playboy 6.1. Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better. A shareware beta-program, Party Girl 2.1 had many bugs and left a virus in his system, forcing him to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually he tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to all his hardware.

Sensing a way out, he upgraded to Fiancée 1.0 only to discover that this product has to be upgraded to Wife 1.0. He did this largely because, whilst Wife 1.0 uses up all available resources, it does come bundled with FreeSex Plus and Cleanhouse 2000. However my friend discovered that Wife 1.0 can be very unstable and costly to run. For example, any mistakes he made were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted, they then resurfaced months later. Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary Explorer and E-mail porn filter, and can, without warning, launch Photostrop and Whingezip. These latter products have no helpfiles and he has to try and guess the problem himself.

Additional costly problems are that the Wife 1.0 bundle that came with the original system needs updating regularly, requiring Shoe Shop Browser Pro for new attachments and Hairstyle Express needs to be reinstalled every other week. It also conflicted with some of the new games he wanted to try, stating that they are an illegal operation. When Wife 1.0 attaches itself to his Audi TT programme it often crashes or runs the system dry. Wife 1.0 also has a rather annoying pop-up called Mother-in-Law, which can't be turned off.

Recently he's been tempted to try Mistress 2000, but there could be problems, if Wife 1.0 detects the presence of Mistress 2000 it will delete all MS Money files before un-installing itself.

Tough one? Any suggestions???


(Anyone tempted to say "wrong forum" can **** right off.)
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 09:02   #2
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
Old
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 09:04   #3
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
This has to be the best thread in ages, I swear it was a really good read and made me smile. But on a serious note dont play from home, I dont think it would be worth it. At the end of the day you seem to of found your one, and you married the one for you. As well as that women are all the same, they all hate porn, football, decent stuff and they all crave money, shoes and clean stuff. So by having a mistress you would have twice the problem.
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 09:22   #4
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
If I remember correctly Deadmeat posted this about 2 years ago.
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 10:57   #5
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
actually i think it may have been one of the first emails I got about 8 years ago...
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 11:00   #6
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
Was'nt this part of Jesus's after dinner speach at the last supper ?
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 13:13   #7
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
patch it
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 14:00   #8
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
very old, but still funny - kind of like watching reruns of blackadder. thanks for reminding me of it
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 16:26   #9
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
Quote:
Originally Posted by The General8
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 16:35   #10
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
When Leonard Kleinrock published a paper about the idea of packet switching, which is essential to the Internet in 1961, he included that as a footnote under the heading "Btw guys this is hilarious,lol".
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 16:54   #11
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
Quote:
Originally Posted by IncubusGod
When Leonard Kleinrock published a paper about the idea of packet switching, which is essential to the Internet in 1961, he included that as a footnote under the heading "Btw guys this is hilarious,lol".
The irony within this comment makes me feel physically sick.
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 18:44   #12
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
If I remember correctly Deadmeat posted this about 2 years ago.
And bearing in mind the "Dead_Meat factor" (all time periods in reference to him must be cubed), this makes 8 years
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 21:45   #13
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
I haven't seen it before so +ve from me cos it made me laugh hehe
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 21:56   #14
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
Quote:
Originally Posted by SeanG
I haven't seen it before so +ve from me cos it made me laugh hehe
ah yes, plus. that long-established shorthand for 'positi'.
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Unread 23 Aug 2005, 23:56   #15
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
Jesus ****ing wept skiddy i appreciate you as a poster and all but that just didn't need to be done.
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Unread 24 Aug 2005, 00:06   #16
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
I'm probably the first person who thinks that's not old.

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Unread 24 Aug 2005, 03:13   #17
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Re: Girlfriend 1.0, Can you help?
Even as my mouse hovered near the thread title (necessary as I'm using the uber-l33t, Leshy pant-wettingly cool Opera v9.01a Triple Alpha Release) I thought to myself

'Surely, SURELY, this can't be that old email thing with the Mate v2.0 and the rest of it. SURELY.'
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