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16 May 2005, 00:32
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#1
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Friends
I was just thinking about this a while ago. The friendships that I have are almost entirely made during the last few years. I can't think of anyone I see regularly now who I knew before say 2002 or so. I have some contact with a chap I knew at school, but that's it.
So are your main friendships longstanding or recently formed? This genuinely intrigues me.
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16 May 2005, 00:35
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#2
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I play the double-bass.
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,198
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Re: Friends
longstanding. but this is because i am out of school for just one year and i am not studying yet, still living in my 'mother' town.
__________________
The music called Jaazzz..
Charlie Mingus, such nimble fingers
Droppin the bass, all over the place
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16 May 2005, 00:42
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#3
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Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
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Re: Friends
Most of my current friends I didn't know before September 2004. The rest I either never talk to because of distance, or I no longer especially like them.
University is the greatest time of your life. It's also where you make real friends who don't judge you by how good you are/aren't at football.
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Finally free!
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16 May 2005, 00:43
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#4
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: Friends
well, most of them are recently formed. If "recent" can be considered to be the last 4-5 years. Although, most of them are probably from the last two years, but that can easily be explained by the fact that thats when i went to uni.
completely off topic but... lupin... do you REALLY play the double bass? Especially after seeing the guy at the jazz club the other night, i can't help thinking that its the most naturally "cool" instrument its possible to play
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bastard bastard bastard bastard
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16 May 2005, 00:46
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#5
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I play the double-bass.
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,198
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Re: Friends
yes, i really play the double-bass. it is actually my first instrument i have ever played and the reasons are it is deep (from the sound) and it looks exorbitant cool to play*. tho' i am yet not very good.
*ya know, i sometimes practices infront of a mirror
__________________
The music called Jaazzz..
Charlie Mingus, such nimble fingers
Droppin the bass, all over the place
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16 May 2005, 00:48
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#6
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mmm lambs
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: London
Posts: 1,906
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Re: Friends
Mine are mixed. My closest friends I met all the way back in year 7 and we have stayed friends ever since. I have also made quite a few good friends through pa, most of whom I met about 3/4 years ago now who I see quite often. There are about half a dozen people then I would probably consider good friends who I have met in the last 2 years since joining uni but purely do to not knowing them as long as my school friends I don't consider them as close.
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I drink therefore I am
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16 May 2005, 00:52
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#7
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Next goal wins!
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: London
Posts: 5,406
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Re: Friends
if anything my uni friends are closer to me than school friends, just because i have lived with most of them at one point. That kind of builds up more of a bond quicker, imo.
and lupin: "nice"
sorry
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bastard bastard bastard bastard
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16 May 2005, 00:55
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#8
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I play the double-bass.
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Germany
Posts: 2,198
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Re: Friends
do y'all didnt have nice school years? i mean back in the days you were young, life was easy etc.. i cant imagine that i will ever loose my close school friends.
__________________
The music called Jaazzz..
Charlie Mingus, such nimble fingers
Droppin the bass, all over the place
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16 May 2005, 01:06
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#9
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Friends
When I was in school I was friends with the people who lived near me and less so with the guys in school. However during the final year of school me and about seven or eight others started playing poker a lot and over the summer after that year we started having 18 hour poker sessions fairly regularly. Since then I've sort of drifted from one social group into the other, although I keep in contact with my old friends. I just have less in common with them now than I did previously I guess. Whereas with my current group of friends we nearly all go to college, all play poker (bar the girls who we tried to teach but seriously women can't play poker end of story), go to the pub more often than is even vaguely approaching healthy if alcohol was carrot-juice and go out to respectable places. Previously it was all drinking in fields, scrobbing (I'm unsure if this word is used elsewhere but the meaning is clear) into nightclubs, playing/watching football and other such activities.
I often wonder how my life diverged from theirs so dramatically seeing as we all led incredibly similar lives back in primary school. I suppose the one thing that separated me from them in the end was money, my parents had more of it than theirs did. While they continued going to school locally I went to one of the most prestigious colleges in the country and ended up becoming unbearably upper middle class. It wasn't that our lives split then but I could see signs. When we were all about 15 or so some of them started doing drugs. Personally I didn't care (I still don't, many of my current friends smoke hash, if that counts heh) but it is true that at that comparatively young stage in your life it's going to probably lead to harder drugs. Unfortunately it did and about a week ago one of my friends died due to drugs. He was on heroin for a long time but he'd quit about six or seven months ago. However apparently the drugs had completely ****ed with his heart, the doctor told him he had the heart of an eighty year old man when he'd come off them. I went up to talk to his parents when I heard about it and it was all just so surreal. It probably sounds romanticised at best but I can remember playing football in his back garden when we were really young and I was sitting there talking to his parents in the kitchen, which looks out onto the back garden, and all I could think about was that it wasn't fair. He always trusted me and I could have helped him but I didn't do anything. ****ing hell I barely even knew that the situation had gotten that bad. We all moved on with our lives and now he's dead. I'm perfectly aware that it's not my fault and all that and I shouldn't beat myself up over it. There's only so much rationalisations help though. You can hurt so much inside when there's nothing you can do anymore.
PS Sorry for dragging your thread off-topic MM.
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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16 May 2005, 01:08
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#10
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Guy next door
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
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Re: Friends
Almost all of my friendships are from way back, many years. Not I've got a lot of (real) friends but more then enough actually for 'einzelganger' me. Somehow the people I met recently (some years at maximum) will never become more then the 'vague friends, people you sometimes hang out with' people. Don't know exactly why I throw up this wall of distance but I feel it's because getting to know a lot of people is a tiresome and oftenly disapointing hobby.
__________________
..look
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16 May 2005, 01:21
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#11
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Evil inside
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,631
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Re: Friends
Some goes way back, to when I was 5/6, then there is those whom I just meet. Growing up together, playing football, going on summer-vacations together (first camping in the garden and in the end going to mallorca heh), just spending alot of time together for nearly 20 years makes those few friends well worth having.
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<Germania>but you called Fury a bully, and that is terribly unfair
<Hicks>Occassionally individuals do things without Executive consent
<Dreadnought>You cant whois on Eclipse server without a registered nic, which mr ****stirrer doesnt have.
<Almeida> well i like to grow fat myself too, and when i have enough ships then i can engage in big battles
<Nantoz> Zhukov for Lord Protector!
<Jakiri> (Windows)XP was fine on release
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16 May 2005, 01:49
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#12
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: Friends
A few, to answer the inital post.
Most of my current friends I've made in the past two years.
In two years time I'll probably have new friends with a few from before.
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16 May 2005, 02:27
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#13
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Swansea
Posts: 798
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Re: Friends
I am in uni quite away from my home town, so I have of course made some friends who I would consider good friends, but my closest friends I met in secondary school and 6th form college.
I would say best friends are from my home area
__________________
In Elysium till the end.
Former [1up]
Current [Spore]
Returned under the IRC nick BenSwansea
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16 May 2005, 08:08
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#14
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Love's Sweet Exile
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Living on a Stair (Now Sword-less)
Posts: 2,371
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Re: Friends
Over the easter holiday, i saw friends from home once. A few of us met up for lunch. Didn't see anyone when I was home for christmas.
My first year at uni was pretty shit friends-wise, I'm still only friends with 2 people I knew in first year, the rest (and my 2 best friends) are the people I ended up living with last year.
I know lots of people, but tend not to become more than 'good acquaintances' with many, and if not left in easy reach of my friends, they disappear.
__________________
--SYMM--
Ba Ba Ti Ki Di Do
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16 May 2005, 08:21
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#15
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Registered Awesome Person
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 5,676
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Re: Friends
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lupin
do y'all didnt have nice school years? i mean back in the days you were young, life was easy etc.. i cant imagine that i will ever loose my close school friends.
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I don't imagine that I shall ever miss anyone from my school.
</emo>
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Finally free!
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16 May 2005, 10:32
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#16
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Friends
One of my housemates I've known since 1993.
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16 May 2005, 10:39
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#17
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: Friends
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
One of my housemates I've known since 1997.
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__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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16 May 2005, 10:40
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#18
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: Friends
my mates from home have dispersed around the country so i don't see them as often as I would like.
They rarely come back to Nottingham as they have jobs and/or girlfriends. But I've known them around 6 years.
However I'm still good friends with two who I have known for over 17 years.
Everyone I'm friends with at uni I obviously hadn't met before 2001 and I've actually made a lot of friends in the last year or so.
I've no idea what I'm going to do when I move away
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16 May 2005, 12:41
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#19
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wild one
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: River Edge, NJ
Posts: 3,313
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Re: Friends
It saddens me that my only friends are those people I've known since Friday night.
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16 May 2005, 12:47
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#20
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1up on you
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 4,007
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Re: Friends
My closest friends are from back home in brum, theres me and my best mate and since 4 weve been close friends, then we picked up friends as we went on, id say in the 13 years of goin to primary/high school Ive made a group of 10 very close friends (boys and girls) While at uni, ive made id say 5 close friends and then obviously theres mates from your course, or people who you met randomly or from the halls in first year etc.
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pig
[ 1u p]
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18 May 2005, 02:39
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#21
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Dirte
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 5,573
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Re: Friends
I have lots of friends from the "old days", people I've know for 6-8 years. I've lived with my best friend since I was 14, and still do.
However, the last 2 years I've got to know lots of new people, mainly throught political work, and I've faded away from the more shady characters that I was good friends with before. (We chose different paths, they took the shady one while i took the political one) I still keep in touch with them.
I'm very selective, however, in trusting. Too many times I've encountered people who are just shiteheads, snitches, untrustworthy or assholes to trust many people.
JBG, I feel sorry for your loss. I've also lost friends to that shit. It's a bad world where many of the best go early.
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18 May 2005, 03:09
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#22
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so f*cking zen
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Hitting Bottom
Posts: 8,499
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Re: Friends
My 3 closest friends are from "home" and ive been good friends with them for 13 years in one case (he lives in Cambridge) and 11 in the other two (Edinburgh/London).
I tend to see my best m8 about once a month (he lives in Edinburgh).
I see the other two at least every 3 months or so.
I say "best friend" but all that really means in our friendship (ie me and my 3 m8s) is that because i see him more often he knows a little bit more about me (ie more detail) but it's like the difference between somebody being 96% of a friend and the other two being 95% of a friend (just felt i had to clear that up as the whole notion of having a "best friend" is slightly girlish).
I'm "friendly" with a couple more folk from home (ie tend to see once a year or so).
I'm friends with a couple folk from Uni.
I know them from halls.
One of them shared a flat with me in 2nd Year.
That guy now lives 1 street away.
The other guy stays less than a mile away.
I see them every couple of months or so (sometimes once a month).
I'm friendly with quite a few folk from work.
I have my "Friend Rule" tho.
To be my friend you need to:
1.) Have gotten drunk with me
2.) Been to my place.
3.) Had me over to your place.
The rules are a bit flexible tho as although i've not been to the house of the guy who i'm most friendly with at work that's because he lives out in the middle of nowhere, in a shitty area, has 3 kids and 2 dogs and there's not really any reason for me to go there.
I'm also friendly with a variety of folk from the net.
That's about it.
My social life seems to be me going out about once every week or two with one group of friends or another.
That's about all i want tho so it's :cool:
__________________
On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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18 May 2005, 06:25
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#23
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Heh, Leeds !
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In The Redfern
Posts: 3,790
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Re: Friends
My friends are in my head.
Safer that way
__________________
The George Harrison of BlueTuba
Yes, I know he is dead !
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18 May 2005, 07:10
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#24
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: Friends
Quote:
Originally Posted by Dace
I have my "Friend Rule" tho.
To be my friend you need to:
1.) Have gotten drunk with me
2.) Been to my place.
3.) Had me over to your place.
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FUK U!
The only friends I have are my pens
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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18 May 2005, 09:32
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#25
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Henry Kelly
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 7,374
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Re: Friends
Most (all) of my closest Uni friendships have been formed over the past 9 months, 12 in a few cases. Mates from back home have been since school, so around 1995 ish, though I don't get back much any more (not been home since Christmas) so when I'm up here I feel like I'm losing touch.
Until I get back and get my ass kicked at darts every night, then it all falls back into place.
__________________
You're now playing ketchup
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18 May 2005, 09:51
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#26
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Rawr rawr
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: Upside down
Posts: 5,300
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Re: Friends
All friends I have now I have met at uni four years ago (nearly 5).
I had contact with my middle-school friends for a short period after I went to uni, but that quickly faded away, because I had little time to sustain those relationships and they didn't quite bother in sustaining these relationships either.
Now is kind of different, because with my uni-friends I occasionally organise LAN's or weekend trips (to London a few weeks ago).
__________________
"Yay"
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18 May 2005, 10:13
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#27
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Throwing Shapes
Join Date: Apr 2000
Posts: 797
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Re: Friends
Most of the friendships I have have been long standing since leaving school. However I have made quite a lot of new friends in the last year or so.
I have about two mates who I regularly make contact with from school, one of which I've known for quite a long time. I was told its quite rare for people to keep in touch with people they hung around with at school and generally its true that you move on and meet new aquaintances. I also have what we refer to as the collective which is a group of us who have hung about regularly for time - however due to relationships, marriages and general moving around the country this group is somewhat disparate of late - brought recently back together as we seem to have collated back to our old home town - odd that.....
Despite not being a regular poster I seem to know you lot quite a lot if it is just shrouded behind the scourge of this discussion board (Seriously - your alright, really )
__________________
Time is an Illusion, Lunchtime doubly so.
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18 May 2005, 10:34
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#28
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: Friends
most of my friends are dead.
__________________
hi
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18 May 2005, 11:43
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#29
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________
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Somwhere I belong
Posts: 4,474
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Re: Friends
I had so many friends but this year I've slashed the numbers due to the fact that people are generally shit, two-faced or bunch of trouble makers that think it's cool to go out and behave like an animal.
From my secondary school, I've got about 4/5 people on my msn that I still talk to/see (when I'm bothered (one on a regular basis)) out of the 164 students (I knew at least 160 of them, it's not that hard) that left Year 11.
From College, I got 3/4 who are genuinely sincere about their friendship with me out of possibly 150 people or something (this is despite seeing my two years of college as the best thing that ever happened to me).
From uni, at the moment, I've slashed a few people after they discovered the shenanigans I got up to (it didn't affect them in any way but they decided to be distant from me) whilst the others were supportive about it.
As for making new friends, it's an ongoing thing. I've met a group of people around the London Borough of Waltham Forest since the beginning of the year and they're probably the best friends I could ever have. They're not shit, two-faced or a bunch of trouble makers.
The longstanding friendships I've got is very little but I'm hoping the friends I've made (including you guys) would be longstanding.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by blink 182
Breathing deeply, walking backwards,
finding strength to call and ask her
Roller coaster favorite ride,
let me kiss you one last time.
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18 May 2005, 11:47
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#30
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Jungle King
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottingham
Posts: 123
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Re: Friends
i almost met my best friends for the first time last weekend, but i couldnt get the time off work.
__________________
when life gives you lemons; you clone those lemons, and make super lemons
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18 May 2005, 12:24
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#31
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: Friends
Quote:
Originally Posted by Another Slayer
i almost met my best friends for the first time last weekend, but i couldnt get the time off work.
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Ahem?
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18 May 2005, 12:29
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#32
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: Friends
I thought this would be about Joey, Ross, Chandler, Phoebe, Monica and Rachel
__________________
Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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18 May 2005, 12:31
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#33
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The Twilight of the Gods
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 23,481
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Re: Friends
Quote:
Originally Posted by Knight Theamion
I thought this would be about Joey, Ross, Chandler, Phoebe, Monica and Rachel
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I do not see why Jakiri, as the largest poster, does not eat the other forty.
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18 May 2005, 13:05
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#34
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Guy next door
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
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Re: Friends
What about that muslim chick?
__________________
..look
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18 May 2005, 13:05
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#35
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Jungle King
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottingham
Posts: 123
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Re: Friends
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
I do not see why Jakiri, as the largest poster, does not eat the other forty.
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lots of well placed quotes from you today
__________________
when life gives you lemons; you clone those lemons, and make super lemons
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18 May 2005, 13:06
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#36
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: Friends
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
What about that muslim chick?
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Muslim's not actually a girl dude, he just sounds like a total faggot for some reason!
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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18 May 2005, 14:25
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#37
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Guest
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Re: Friends
Hello Friends
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All times are GMT +1. The time now is 15:22.
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