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Unread 26 Apr 2005, 21:07   #1
Forest
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What a joke :/

Right, now I have your attention, make me fking laugh ta.

And dont say go to GD, caus eit sucks, so I deserve a joke thread here!!!

Here is one to start you off...


The new priest is nervous about hearing confessions, so he asks the older priest to sit in on his sessions.

The new priest hears a couple of confessions, then the old priest asks him to step out of the confessional for a few suggestions.

The old priest suggests, "Cross your arms over your chest, and rub your chin with one hand.... and try saying things like "Yes, I see," and "Yes, go on," and "I understand."

The new priest crosses his arms, rubs his chin with one hand and repeats all the suggested remarks to the old priest.

The old priest says, "Now, don't you think that's a little better than slapping your knee and saying, "No sh*t... what happened next??"
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Unread 26 Apr 2005, 22:06   #2
Alessio
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Re: What a joke :/

You ruined my happy mood with the most unfunniest thing ever
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Unread 26 Apr 2005, 22:14   #3
Lupin
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Re: What a joke :/

i call the holy planetarion-inquisition to neg-rep the mad anti-christ to death.
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Unread 26 Apr 2005, 22:16   #4
JC
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Re: What a joke :/

No.

P.S.

2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a
motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker
stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells
them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000
bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them.

He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on
now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave.
"R hey lad" they say "gissa lift". The trucker once again explains that he
has no room as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls. The scousers put it to
the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back will he take them and
he agrees.

They manage to squeeze themselves and their motorbike into the back of the
wagon so the driver shuts the doors and gets off on his way. By this time he
is really late and so puts his foot down. Sure enough PC Plod of Greater
Manchester Police pulls him up for speeding. The good officer asks the
driver what he is carrying to which he replies Scouse Eggs. The policeman
obviously doesn't believe this so wants to take a look. He opens the back
door and quickly shuts it and locks it. He gets onto his radio and calls for
immediate backup from as many officers as possible.

The dispatcher asks what emergency he has that requires so many officers.
"I've got a wagon with 20,000 Scouse eggs in it - 2 have already hatched and
the bastards have managed to nick a motorbike already".



P.P.S.

These three men went out on this fishing trip, but as they we sailing along in their little boat, a storm picked up and swept them onto a rather small island.

Now the men weren't scared at first, but when they saw these cannibals chasing after them, they began to run for their lives. The cannibals were much faster than they were, and so they captured the three men, and brought them to their King.

The King said, "I want each of you to pick 10 fruits. Each man must collect a different fruit as to that of the other two. Once you have done this, return to me, and I will tell you what to do."

So the men, fearing their lives, run out and began to search madly for any fruit. The first man returns after a while with 10 apples. The King grinned wickedly and said, "Now you must take those 10 apples and shove them up your ass without making any facial expression. If you fail to do so, I will kill you!"

The poor man gets up to number 8 and then screams, as the pain was so intense. The King killed him right then and there, and returned to see the second man coming back with 10 strawberries. The second man got his instructions, too, and was up to the 10th strawberry, when all of a sudden, for no apparent reason, he begins laughing hysterically. So the King killed him, too, just as he did with the first man.

Now the first man and the second man meet up in Heaven, and the first man asks the second man, "Why did you laugh? You were on your last strawberry, and you could have gotten away!"

The second man said with a little smile, "Yeah, I know, but I couldn't resist laughing when I saw the third man coming back with pineapples!"
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