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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 10:51   #1
Pavil Too
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Sunday8pm: Behind the Blow Christmas Special

Sunday8pm's non-event of a life began in the small backwater island community of Bute in 1980. The world wasn't ready for the ginger haired "mouth and belly" and some called for his mother to have him aborted when he was just 3 weeks old. Personally I am glad that she decided to keep him for the extra £6 a month benefit money she recieved because little did she or anyone know when she squeezed him out that the child she now held in her arms would go on to become what some have called "the most insignificant wastrel since Steve Guttenberg."

For little Sunday8pm (named as is the tradition on Bute after the day and time you are born at) life on the quiet island was too slow. He dreamed of bigger things, he wanted to see the world and ultimately he wanted to realise his dream as his primary school friend Monday5am goes on to explain

"All his life you could see that he wanted to leave Bute. Now that he is famous he likes to tell people it was that he had to leave to acchieve his goals but we all knew that he only wanted to visit the fabled McDonalds that exists somewhere on the mainland"

Sure enough Sunday8pm did eventually leave Bute to experience the first of many many Big Macs. Had he never left, the world would be a very different place, some say nicer, some say less fat but a different place none the less.

It was in the Gourock McDonalds that a young Sunday8pm was to experience the magic of electricity for the first time, something which has been banned on Bute since the famous Electrician Witch Hunt Trials of 1979 when it was declared illegal for anyone to experiment in this black art under penalty of karate chop.

As he stood staring at the VDU behind the till it was then that he knew exactly what he was to do with his life. Sunday8pm explains,

"It was glorious. It was like Kevin (Bute's equivalent to a Christian God) had shown me the light. I was standing ordering my 20 Big Macs and Diet Coke when the blinking text seemed to just spell out my direction. I immeadiately jumped across the counter and typed "LOL!" onto the order screen before proclaiming 'It is my dream that in 5 years time every misguided unloved little boy will be able to say "LOL!" to one another and therefore have friends forevermore', incidentally if I could stop there and just clarify that yes I did come up with LOL! even before the internet began. The McDonalds staff didn't know where to look, the didn't appreciate the magic that had just happened in front of their very eyes. They do now though."

Speaking with Brain Glazier, one of the McDonalds staff members that day we are shown Sunday8pm's impact even now 5 years after the event.

"Yeah I remember it well. This ginger guy who was obviously from Bute? Kind of chubby and spoke like a girl? Yeah I remember him. He jumped over the counter and started playing with the computer, like he had never seen one before but knowing those crazy islanders he probably hadn't. Tugger Harris spat in all his burgers too.

5 years on and his legacy in Gourock lives on.

Soon after this occurence Sunday8pm knew he couldn't return to Bute. The ferry driver refused to take him on due to a petition by the islanders spearheaded by Sunday8pm's own mum and Sunday8pm also had a dream he had to see through to the end.

He found himself on a train to the bustling metropolis of Johnstone, a place where he knew he could make it and also a place where a cousin lived that was willing to take him in.

And for the next 3 years absolutely nothing happened as is always the case in Sunday8pm's life.

It was on his eigteenth birthday that fate stepped in and reared its ugly head when his new thieving Johnstone family stole him a computer from the local orphanage. They didnt steal it for him but it was just that they didn't know how to work it what with them being filthy spastic junkies and all but a bright ginger boy who had never forgotten about the incident in the McDonalds and his pledge to the laughing crowds decided to make his dreams come true.

That night he sat down with his Inspector Gadget writing set and began drawing up his blueprints. These original blueprints are now on show in the Tate Gallery in London because Cobs drew the first in his series of paintings entitled 'Life as a Twat' on the other side of the paper. So although you cannot see them they are there none the less.

The next day Sunday8pm announced that he had invented what he called 'The Internet' at this one of his surprisingly sober relatives piped up that it already existed before Sunday8pm broke down in tears and cried like the little girl he actually was.

Later that day Sunday8pm had finished all the Bird Eye Potato Waffles in Johnstone, something he binged on regularly in times of sorrow which experts at NASA have now calculated as being "every moment of his sad little existence" and he sat down to try out the internet for the very first time.

"As soon as I turned the PC on I instantly knew exactly how to do everything and where everything was. Yeah you see there is nothing I dont know about the internet. Go on ask me anything."

At this the interviewer asks him to tell him the url for the British Telecom website at which Sunday8pm immeadiately reveales his internet genius by replying http://www.bt.com in a cool sophisticated wobbling manor.

With his absolute knowledge of all things internet Sunday8pm knew he was ready to take on the world. It is rumoured that Bill Gates actually began worrying and that Microsoft shares fell when they learned that Sunday8pm had finally managed to get internet access. The world worried in fact. Conspiracy theorists would have us believe that the powers that be had always been there to keep him offline through various last minute Pie Eating Contests being held in Johnstone whenever he started talking about it and concerned Canadian families even created the CASTOD campaign which loosely translates as the Coalition Against Sunday8pm Touching Our Daughters campaign.

Before long the young Sunday8pm was racing through the information superhighway as fast as his cable modem could take him. He quickly began playing Planetarion, an online internet space race game or wankfest to you and me.

"Planetarion was it for me. It was everything I had ever dreamed of. Suddenly I felt at home"

The above words came from a young Sunday8pm who was plugging Planetarion on http://ginger.menwithbabies.com a site that Sunday created. These words are a cruel sign of how naive the young Sunday was.

After just a few months of getting more involved in Planetarion than any man, woman or thing ever has including the games creator Spinner Lassoo things began to take their toll on the young internet freak Sunday8pm

With Sunday now breaking every record set in the fields of Sleep Deprivation and Weight Gain his playing started to suffer. It is rumoured he started lacing his Poatato Waffles with the highly addictive caffiene pill Wakesinol and before long his new found addiction brought out a dark side in him.

Spinner Lassoo went onto say

"We all saw it coming but we never knew how far he would take it. His spiralling fame and influence over the game became too much for all of us. Everyone loved him and valued his input, he was like an Ubernerd of the gaming industry. At one point myself and my wife were even arguing over who wanted to sleep with him most. But then it all went wrong

His mood became erratic. One minute he would be queitly typing such Sunday8pm catchphrases as ROFL and OMG and the net he would be declaring war on Norway unless we raised the Spiders stats in the game. We did try and let him vent his views by making him "chief of all things internet and ruler of the information superhighway" but when it comes to Sunday the word 'enough' just doesnt apply"


Once he was knighted by the Queen and shares in Planetarion were sky rocketing up by 0.01p a day things took an even more darker twist. Sunday formed his own irc channel called #homely which masqueraded as a room for casual chat and nonsense but underneath it was actually a sinister recruiting ground for Sunday8pm operatives in all corners of the world.

This group become so powerful with member counts reaching as high as 12 that the NSA began watch on the channel in case any terrorist activity was going on. It was here that they claim that they saw something which should never have been made public.

They told the world just how fat and girly Sunday8pm really was.

Conspiracy theorists would have us believe they made up the news of Sunday8pm having the 'biggest waistband and most girly voice a man has ever possesed. That Bill Gates abused the situation in order to regain control of the 'I am the internet King' title but some truths will never be revealed.

'With his addiction now dominating his life and his appetite for Potato Waffles and loose Canadian women on the increase, this revelation was the last straw for a very weary Sunday8pm.

He was found unconcious slumped over his PC with his pants down. Paramedics recognised him as soon as they walked into the house and in a cruel twist of fate refused to help him due to the fact he has paid no national insurance through his ponging leeching ways so they left him for dead.

On Sunday the 7th of December at 8pm at night. Sunday8pm's coma finally claimed his life. His brother Robert made sure he was dead by repeatedly kicking him in the head until 'there was nothing left' as one coroner quoted.

A small rememberance festival was held online for him as he would have wanted with attendance figures reaching 5 and his brother Robert was knighted for services to the nation for 'putting up with the fat midden for so long and for aiding him in parting this earth. fat prick he was' as the queen announced in a rare emotional knighthood ceremony at Buckingham Palace.

He was ginger, he was fat, he shall be remembered forever.
 
Unread 26 Dec 2002, 12:10   #2
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 12:13   #3
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i love you pavil.
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 12:20   #4
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Go away Pavil
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 13:43   #5
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nice read, rather sad though.


no, not the story, well yes but..
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 13:54   #6
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lololololololololololololololololol

That was a good beginning of a rather dull boxingday.
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 13:55   #7
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****ing brilliant, made me laugh

you missed out the whole cyber thing though
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 14:36   #8
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that was actually quite funny

In round 4 i actually had an account in 23:24 and a lot of the #homely ppl were from that gal \0/
but i didnt realise it :-/






p.s
correct me if im completely wrong..because I dont remember everything exactley
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 15:48   #9
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I call you when I need you
And my heart's on fire
You come to me, come to me
Wild and wire
You come to me, give me everything I need
You bring a lifetime of promises
And a world of dreams
You speak the language of love
Like you know what it means
And it can't be wrong
Take my heart and make it strong

Cause you're simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart
I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart
Baby I would rather be dead

Deep in your heart
I see the star
Of every night and every day
And in your eyes I get lost
I get washed away
Just as long as I'm here in your arms
I could be in no better place

Cause you're simply the best
Better than all the rest
Better than anyone
Anyone I ever met
I'm stuck on your heart
I hang on every word you say
Tear us apart
Baby I would rather be dead

ooooh, you're the best!
 
Unread 26 Dec 2002, 16:24   #10
Nusselt
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marry me pavil
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 16:41   #11
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Yeah seph 3 or 4 of us were :-/.

Pavil you sad sad little girl.


Ie Well done boyo
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 16:51   #12
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sunday's dead? tis truly a season to rejoice \0/
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 19:22   #13
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skiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so little
Pavvy! Make my babies!
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 20:28   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by cookiemay
heh i was in that gal

others included

Jahllovit
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and some others
I was some others \0/
had a great time there though :P
the politics boards were often very amusing to read
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Unread 26 Dec 2002, 21:07   #15
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 03:58   #16
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Just two last comments before I finally realise my dream


Sunday8pm (Paul Adam) - I know you are going to read this and I feel that I have to let you know. Remember Madeline Hale? Your first love ever? The girl who has haunted your dreams since you flunked out, the girl who has been the mainstay of all your desires and ultimately, in your case, 'the one that got away'? Well.....I just spent many fine hours with the lovely Madeline in a pub in Glasgow. She stays in London now and is currently doing very well doing the work of a top notch stylist. I am not meaning the kind of stylist that your mum visits when she goes for her fortnightly blue rinse, but the kind of stylist that is able to produce magazines as proof of the work she is now carrying out. So Madeline and I chatted about many topics, sharing a drink and a laugh and we had good company too. Scott Stewart, remember him? He was the guy who embaressed you in high school on many occasions in front of your high school sweetheart with one notable time being when he put you in a cupboard, tipped it over so that the doors were now blocked by the floor and left you there for 3 hours. Do you remember these times? I sincerely hope you do. So we let the night drift quietly by as we all got on so very very well, reminiscing about so many memories that we shared, catching up on all the gossip since we went our separate ways but unfortunately I have to say that your name did not come up once. We never spoke of you, not even in passing but I feel that this is a little unfair. It is wrong of me to have met my best friends childhood sweetheart and to not have tried to ascertain whether or not she ever had feelings for him, to see if there ever was a chance that you two could someday hook up and finally to keep the dream alive. Now I know that seven score loose misguided underage Canadian girls dumb enough to fly over to see if the Michelin Man still exists could ever compare with the ultimate true love of your life and that is why I am putting my foot down. I have decided to give you an amazing oppurtunity in that through this thread you will once again be able to speak to Madeline. I am linking her to it as soon as I hit 'SUBMIT REPLY' and finally she will know the true Paul sorry Sunday8pm that exists within that flabby pasty faced exterior. Love is blind so they say so lets hope it bloody well is and that she reads this and sees you have a sensitive side, one that you havent had to hideously concoct and lie about in order to coax a rebellious teenage girl over from Canada to spend hours wrapped in your sagging arms only because she knows that since you burned her return ticket she has no-where else to go. So all that is left for me to do is let you know that I am here for you and always will be and this is what friends are for.

Pavil

p.s. mods i will be saving the code for this thread and sending that instead of a link because if you know Sunday8pm as well as I do and you know of his love for this girl Madeline you will understand that this is the finest owning I have personally ever carried out with regard to both Sunday8pm and Planetarion as a whole. I am just glad that I am bowing out on a high note.

p.p.s To rub salt into the wound. 2 weeks into January myself and my best friend will be staying in London at Madelines house for the weekend. I was going to invite along Sunday8pm to enjoy the time of his life meeting the girl he has always loved with all his heart but with my brother being quite high up in the Airline we will be flying with he told me that no plane on earth could cope with all the Hula Hoop clogged veins that mr Sunday8pm has in his body so he couldnt authorise the ticket. I will send you a postcard Paul.

p.p.s. Why is his brother named Robert and not Tuesday12noon?
 
Unread 27 Dec 2002, 04:02   #17
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Continue. This is ''tres amusant''.
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 04:02   #18
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I thought I was a bitch!
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 05:06   #19
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lol PMed u
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 06:51   #20
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funnily enough my mates girlfriends official title is lady bute and she lives in the gothic castle there
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 07:32   #21
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wow pavil. i seriously thought you were better than that.
gee you must be pretty bored to go this low eh? either bored or your life is incredibly sad that you feel the need to come here and make fun of an ex-friend. no one cares about sunday's life.. and the fact that you think we do just makes it funnier.
bravo
well done
pld
etc
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 07:34   #22
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aryn
no one cares about sunday's life.. etc

Gotta say i laughed at that :-/
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 11:48   #23
Pavil Too
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aryn
wow pavil. i seriously thought you were better than that.
gee you must be pretty bored to go this low eh? either bored or your life is incredibly sad that you feel the need to come here and make fun of an ex-friend. no one cares about sunday's life.. and the fact that you think we do just makes it funnier.
bravo
well done
pld
etc


it is no coincidence that the only person to stick up for sunday is female and canadian
 
Unread 27 Dec 2002, 14:08   #24
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aryn, whether pavil wrote it in jest, or seriously doesnt matter. It was funny. It was damn funny, and a lot of comedy went into it. Also, Sunday never pulls any punches. I dont actually mind 8pm usually (until he gets into his "lol you know nothing" phase), but im sure with the amount of no stringed flames hes let off, he can handle one himself.
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 14:35   #25
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superb stuff.
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 20:52   #26
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Heh,funny

Even though I dont like either Pavil or Sunday
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 20:59   #27
NightSinner
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aryn
wow pavil. i seriously thought you were better than that.
gee you must be pretty bored to go this low eh? either bored or your life is incredibly sad that you feel the need to come here and make fun of an ex-friend. no one cares about sunday's life.. and the fact that you think we do just makes it funnier.
bravo
well done
pld
etc

man ure boring it was a riot
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<[RO]NightSinner> lithuania all share one IP address as well i reckon
<Blue|WORKING> hmmm
<Blue|WORKING> NS
<Blue|WORKING> they are all sitting on a LAN
<Blue|WORKING> DUH
<[RO]NightSinner> hehe
<[RO]NightSinner> my mistake
<TomKat> Lithuanian Area Network
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:01   #28
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Bit dull. (Just like 8pm lolz rofles bmao)
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:15   #29
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i would have said the same thing if he had said it about anyone else (most likely)

and pavil.. i'm also a canadian girl who NEVER had any intentions of flying over to 'meet' sunday.
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:18   #30
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HAHAHAHA MARK YOU DIDN'T LOG OUT

Hi paul.

L8r's Sunday8pm
 
Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:20   #31
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrL
HAHAHAHA MARK YOU DIDN'T LOG OUT

Hi paul.

L8r's Sunday8pm
HARHARHAR I forgot to log out of the account I use at other peoples' houses in case I forget to log out.

etc.
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:20   #32
MrL
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aryn
i would have said the same thing if he had said it about anyone else (most likely)

and pavil.. i'm also a canadian girl who NEVER had any intentions of flying over to 'meet' sunday.
Note the way she highlight's meet....

I bet I score again.

L8r's Sunday8pm
 
Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:21   #33
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrL
HAHAHAHA MARK YOU DIDN'T LOG OUT

Hi paul.

L8r's Sunday8pm
ps. I broke your computer. The win is to me
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:22   #34
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I want a song

I do I do.
 
Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:23   #35
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Quote:
Originally posted by MrL_JaKiri
ps. I broke your computer. The win is to me
If you didn't erin would of never allowed me to spend the money fixing it better :P 30-15
 
Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:27   #36
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Quote:
Originally posted by MrL
If you didn't erin would of never allowed me to spend the money fixing it better :P 30-15
I have a phone charger which plugs into the usb port.

30-all!
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:29   #37
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I HAVE A LIVE IN GF WHO SWALLOWS.

Game set and match.
 
Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:32   #38
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Quote:
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I HAVE A LIVE IN GF WHO SWALLOWS.
This is the internet; gadgets > women.
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:34   #39
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I HAVE A LIVE IN GF WHO SWALLOWS.

Game set and match.


She mings.



GAME ABANDONED
 
Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:34   #40
MrL
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I have a heilan coo.
 
Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:35   #41
MrL_JaKiri
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MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.MrL_JaKiri has ascended to a higher existance and no longer needs rep points to prove the size of his e-penis.
Quote:
Originally posted by MrL
I have a heilan coo.
That's no way to speak about erin.
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Unread 27 Dec 2002, 21:37   #42
MrL
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Quote:
Originally posted by Dace
She mings.



GAME ABANDONED
You weren't invited you smelly fenian.

L8r's Sunday8pm
 
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