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Unread 25 Apr 2004, 13:13   #1
Planetkiller II
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The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

I thought it was about time the HrH returned here, what with the recent influx of new people, perhaps we can make a go of it this time. So, hello, once more, dear patrons. Welcome to the Happy Roid Hotel Beta Site, a cloned premises of our main building. Those of you who know h'our methods, we welcome you back. Those who don't, feel free to learn. We have several new facillities, including:

We bring for your h'amunsment, the Ghardun Squig Maze, with h'accompaning ghardun. Please don't venture to far into it, we cannot guarantee your safety, due to the large h'amounts of sharp (h'and long) thorned Buggery Bushes h'in it, so named for h'obvious reasons. However closer to the hotel, h'it is a more scenic place, feel free to tiptoe through h'any tulips you might find. Be h'aware though, that h'upon not tiptoing through them, the Tulips h'are likely to be h'emotionally damaged, h'and may bite. The maze h'itself h'is filled with the various pitfalls you might h'expect, as well h'as h'a large portion h'of Ghardun Squigs, which may attempt to cultivate you with their various arms, which just happen to be shaped like various garden h'implements. H'if you should be fortunate h'enough to make it to the centre, you will be greated with:

1: Almighty power in the universe
2: A large h'unhappy H'impregnator Squig with a large club.

Only one of the above statements is true.


We h'also constructed the HrH Trak H'and Feeld Range, where such h'events h'as Squig Throwing, H'obsticle Course and more may h'occur at a Special H'olimpics we will soon be holding (depending h'on h'interest).

Lastly, the Carpentry Squigs have been busily constructing a large wooden building we have dubbed Ye Olde Werkshop. We are h'as yet h'unsure why they have done this, for we did not h'ask them to do so. All we know is that they have been commandeering copious h'ammounts h'of timber and power tools and much sawing has been heard from within. H'entry will not be covered by your h'insurance.


Some of Da Ruleys for the H'unhinitiated:
------------------

No seriousness is permitted within The Happy Roid Hotel, laughter only is the norm, and no stealing of other patron's character traits is permitted. However, donations, flattery and bribery of Da Manijjmint is h'encouraged. Rookie killing is h'also disallowed. H'incorrect spelling is h'allowed on these premises. Matches are banned for fear of the Squig Buckitt. Oddness is a must. PLEASE explore the webbysite to learn more, or visit the Alpha Site:

www.happyroidhotel.org

We defy h'all rules h'of physics here, so you can actually be in both h'establishments h'at h'once

So, with that out h'of the way, I give you the newest h'incarnation h'of the HrH!
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Unread 25 Apr 2004, 15:15   #2
Lady Hawk
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

Why Hello and greetings, runs off to the broom closet and gets the h'uniform.......

and begins to plot and plan
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Unread 25 Apr 2004, 16:49   #3
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*Flapjack brings his ship into orbit and gets in his hyper-interceptor*

*Flapjack flies down to the planet surface, braking just in time to avoid hitting the rusty destroyer like he did on several previous occasions. However due to the turbulence caused, the whole destroyer shakes heavily.*

*Flapjack then quickly finishes the required checks and steps out of the hyper-interceptor and into the hotel*

Hi all, the rusty destroyer is still intact
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IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
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Unread 25 Apr 2004, 22:32   #4
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*AcidK appears at his usual place behind the bar, cleaning a mug that was, on the contrary of the new h'establised HrH, slightly grubby. All his usual drinks are behind the bar, the more dangerous of which were locked into a a safe-like refrigdorator. Drinks include literally everything you can dream up, and if there is no such thing, then AcidK himself would be more than happy to make one to specification.*
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Unread 26 Apr 2004, 14:03   #5
okiN
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*okiN flies towards the hotel in a rebel alliance blockade runner's escape pod. Through the small window at the end of the pod, he sees his destination get nearer and nearer. He tries to steer the pod and manages to avoid going past the damn place, but slams it straight into the rusty destroyer, making the whole thing shudder violently and small bits fall off. The pod bounces off the destroyer and soars high into the air, falls down again before the front door, bounces into the wall of the hotel and rolls to a stop. okiN scampers out and rushes inside to avoid being harassed by any nasty, squiggly sort of squig personages*
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Unread 26 Apr 2004, 15:23   #6
flapjack
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*Flapjack watches out of the window as the rusty destroyer is violently impacted on by an escape pod of familiar design, immediatly causing a massive flood of squigs towards the front door of the hotel. Flapjack thus quickly presses the press in case of squig attack from the rusty destroyer button, immediatly locking down all doors and windows. Just before Okin got inside*

*Flapjack looks out of the window and noticeses something humanoid standing in front of the door*

"Say, shall we quickly organise a squig hunt while we have the chance?"
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IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 27 Apr 2004, 12:14   #7
okiN
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*okiN is devoured by endless hordes of squigs and never heard from again*
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Unread 27 Apr 2004, 17:10   #8
Planetkiller II
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*Until of course, the Respawner 2000 whirs to life, and imports okiN to the hotel foyer.*

"Mr. Flapjack, kindly refrain from killing the guests, despite how 'accidentally' it may be, h'or the Squig Bukkit will have to be brought into use."
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Unread 27 Apr 2004, 17:34   #9
flapjack
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"What did i do? i prevented a slaughter, those squigs where headed straight for the hotel. There was this weird squig leading the group tough, it looked almost human, i suppose it was a leadtherebellionofsquigs squig."

*Flapjack walks over to the bar*
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IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 27 Apr 2004, 18:01   #10
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

I think it could have been that mischeiviousrebellionleadersquig that's been 'freeing' the mystbreakersquigs from my labs.
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Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
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Unread 27 Apr 2004, 19:28   #11
okiN
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*okiN blinks* "Goddamnit." *okiN smashes his head into a wall until he loses conciousness, then falls on his back with a large, bleeding crack on his forehead with some brains oozing through*
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Unread 27 Apr 2004, 19:36   #12
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*AcidK watches okiN appear at the respawner again.*

You know there is no such thing as a proper death in the HrH? Makes you realise where most people's insaity come from
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 28 Apr 2004, 12:59   #13
okiN
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*okiN blinks a rapid series of blinks. He then collapses onto his back in a comatose state, completely oblivious to his surroundings*
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Unread 29 Apr 2004, 17:43   #14
Lady Hawk
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

ahhhhhh its good to be back
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Unread 29 Apr 2004, 22:32   #15
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*AcidK hands LH and Diet Myst Breaker.*

Here you go, m'Lady, a Welcome Back To The HrH Pressie... even if it was thought up by you
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 29 Apr 2004, 23:44   #16
Richpur
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"I want a new number for my room." says a voice in midair.

"Oh, body... right..." the voice says, "be right back."

A few moments later Richard blurs into the foyer by the desk with a handful of numbers.

"I found these digits fastened to the outside of my door. I no longer require them all, a single alphanumeric is, I believe, sufficient; especially considering it is the only room on the floor in question; as however most of the single digits are already in use on other rooms I have limited the new designation down to just 'E'... although for the sake of increased individuality it is rotated through ninety degrees and now closely resembles the cyrillic character sha 'Ш'."

Richard takes a breath.

"Is that permitted?"
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Unread 1 May 2004, 03:07   #17
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*Wo2 staggers into the door knocking a few squigs of his legs.*

"Blimey its a bloody riot out there. Who's responible for it? Ah not though I care. Well her I am everybody, you may countinou with your lives.

*Wo2 then began to wander his way to the general direction of the bar. Upon arrivle he sees Acidk and Lady Hawk. He gives a quick wave to Acidk and bows to LH.*

"Sir...M'Lady... Acidk could you be so kind as to give me a glass of Suprise Me?"
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Unread 1 May 2004, 10:41   #18
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"I'll take an acid volcano bomb, and be as nice as to deliver a Myst breaker to Okin over there in the corner by the respawner, it might get him to wake up for at least a short while."

"And that bloody riot is thanks to someone in an escape that bumped into a rusty old destroyer.... and it wasn't me for once."
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IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 1 May 2004, 21:34   #19
Richpur
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"Can we blame you anyway, I'd hate to have to change the proceedings just because it isn't your fault."
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Unread 1 May 2004, 22:27   #20
flapjack
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"Well, depends, if that means inprisonment again, no, otherwise, sure, go ahead, I'm used to it by now. I think I'll go and crossbreed Himpreganable squigs with LetsattacktheHRHtogether squigs and see what happens."
__________________
IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 1 May 2004, 23:36   #21
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

You'd probably end up with a Letskickpatronsindanuts squig...

*AcidK hands Wo2 a Suprise Me and flapjack a usual Acid Volcano Bomb, before grabbing a bottle or Myst Breaker, walking over the Okin... then downed the MB himself, letting a shot's worth dribble towards Okin's mouth. After five seconds AcidK said quietly so you could only just here him:*

fire in the hole...
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 2 May 2004, 12:17   #22
flapjack
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*upon which flapjack immediatly springs into action, toppling over a table and rapidly transforming the wood into Adamantium so that it can be used as a shelter from the blast that is to come in about 11.67 seconds after okin consumed the MB*
__________________
IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 2 May 2004, 15:27   #23
Planetkiller II
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"Oh boy, its only just been finished and they're already demolishing the place."

*PK ducks.*
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Unread 2 May 2004, 15:56   #24
flapjack
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"You weren't expecting any different, where you? I'll pay for the repairs provided you get adamantium tables, just in case we're going to get more MBs."

*flapjack watches as Okin steps out of the respawner, again*
__________________
IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 2 May 2004, 23:47   #25
Richpur
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"I'll have a myst breaker over here please," Richard says as he sits down on one of the barstoolsquigs at the opposite end of the room to the imminant explosion, "and a pineapple juice for myself."
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Unread 3 May 2004, 01:55   #26
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*AcidK appears from the respawner, being only two decametres from okiN when he exploded, stretching on the spot before suddenly blinking behind the bar, pouring Richard a shot of Myst Breaker and a pineapple.*

There you go, sir...
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 3 May 2004, 22:39   #27
Richpur
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"Thank you." Richard says, taking the glass of pineapple.

He glances at his drink for a moment and sips it thoughtfully as he looks down along the bar at the mess; what a senseless waste of (in)human life.

So thinking he picks up the myst breaker and walks out into the foyer again, handing it to the pool table who (presuming no-one has moved him) is still resident in the middle of the carpitt.
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Unread 4 May 2004, 01:36   #28
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

Guess a game of pool is out of the question...
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 4 May 2004, 11:24   #29
flapjack
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

well, if you use really long pool cues it should be possible, it's not the like the carpet is huge, it's just big and in a rather inconvenient spot for something you're not allowed to touch.

*flapjack sips his Acid volcano bomb while waiting for Okin to come out of the respawner again*
__________________
IRC quotes:
<Walrus> Let's all poke him next time he appears.
<Heiro> I think that is wise, Master Walrus

<Gryffin> ungrateful wretches
<Gryffin> they should be here!
<Gryffin> so I can grace them with my presence
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Unread 4 May 2004, 16:57   #30
Planetkiller II
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"I hope that table is not actually ON the Karpitt, or it may have to be chopped up for kindling Mr. Richpur."
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Unread 4 May 2004, 22:15   #31
Richpur
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"The Pool Table is indeed ON the Karpitt, since it was given permission to so be there by owner of said Karpitt, The Lady Sarah (Maam), for the purposes of preventing others from using The Pool Table for; the playing of pool, sleeping on, and/or dancing on; in the event that The Pool Table should be disinclined to partake of such activities."
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Unread 4 May 2004, 22:36   #32
Planetkiller II
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"H'in that case, fair enough."
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Unread 7 May 2004, 02:57   #33
Verric
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

Verric comes on, holding the hand of his imaginary friend, Bob. Bob, for anyone who can't see him, is wearing a flouro green T-shirt and orange boardshorts. Bob is also a friendly and talkative guy who likes hot dogs. Trust Verric on it.
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33) Leave verric alone in non-pot RP thread, it may cause more cacti in, you guessed it, the other end.
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Unread 7 May 2004, 16:03   #34
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*AcidK turns to see Verric and then smiles.*

What can I get you... sirs?

*AcidK, with a over-trained mind of telepathy, noticed Bob, but in a way that could see him as a faint image, running off Verric's mind to know where he was.*
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Unread 19 May 2004, 02:50   #35
Verric
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"I would like apple juice, thank you," says V erric, quite pleased that somebody had noticed Bob.
"My friend Bob would like a hot dog drink."
Verric leans ove a little, and says in a whisper.
"I know he doesn't look like it, but he's a bit shy!"
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33) Leave verric alone in non-pot RP thread, it may cause more cacti in, you guessed it, the other end.
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Unread 19 May 2004, 17:20   #36
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*AcidK nodded and smiled as Verric made the order, promtly pouring an apple juice and then blending a hot dog with the juice it came in, pouring it into a glass and placing it in the more-or-less area of Bob, the image fading in and out as Verric's imagination flickered.*
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 24 May 2004, 23:20   #37
Verric
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"Thank you" says Verric (and Bob), before they retire to nurse their drinks at a conveniently placed table. With two chairs, of course.
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33) Leave verric alone in non-pot RP thread, it may cause more cacti in, you guessed it, the other end.
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Unread 25 May 2004, 01:30   #38
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*AcidK looked around and drummed his fingers on the counter, hoping that people might get discouraged by the glass of hot dog mush that was heading to the floor. Obviously AcidK could see Bob, even if it was faint, but some other patrons without telepathic veiw wouldn't see anything.*
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 25 May 2004, 20:39   #39
okiN
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*okiN most cordially hexplodes, plastering himself upon various walls, ceilings, doors, floors, pieces of furniture and patrons. He thereupon respawns, and gazes around upon his surroundings in a rather bleary fashion, blinking the lids of his eyes quite rapidly* "Ahem?"
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Unread 26 May 2004, 20:48   #40
Planetkiller II
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"Mr. okiN, I'm sure you'll get used to the various explosions that now take place here. Mr. AcidK's barmanship has made blast shields a neccessity in the hotel. Mr. Verric.... er... yes. Welcome?"
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Unread 26 May 2004, 21:41   #41
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*flapjack begins plotting a way to most painfully and without breaking the rules, kill UQ*

"Hmm, how about a squig hunt to get this place some action??? There are still plenty of squigs out in front to start with."
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Unread 27 May 2004, 02:05   #42
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

I'll be mainly hunting OhMyGodHereTheyCoAAARRRGGHHH squigs...
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Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 27 May 2004, 13:20   #43
okiN
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*okiN espies flapjack, walks up to him and promptly kicks him in the family jewels with an audible jingling sound, then snorts most contemptuously*
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Unread 27 May 2004, 13:29   #44
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

now now, save your fighting for the arenas, you'll need the energy to capture squigs
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 27 May 2004, 16:08   #45
okiN
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*okiN glares, like so: ò_Ó. He then pulls out a sheet of wood of unknown origin that has been painted white, a thin, long piece of wood, a hammer, a few nails and a black majick marker. He then proceeds to write a message on the sheet and nail it to the shaft-type wood dealie. He absent-mindedly tosses the marker and hammer behind his back, hitting flapjack on the head with the latter, after which he holds up his shiny, new sign, which reads: "SqUIGgZ RItEs NoW!"*

*okiN begins to march around the room, brandishing the sign in a rebellious manner and chanting: "Squigs' rights now! Squigs' rights now!" while still glaring most furiously*
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Unread 28 May 2004, 17:10   #46
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*AcidK hands okiN a Beserkmystbreaker Squig.*

You want squig rights? deal with this one...

*AcidK then proceeds to run very quickly away from okiN whlst he was in possession of the most... explosive squig in the Happy Roid Hotel Area.*
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 29 May 2004, 10:13   #47
okiN
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"Hmm?" *okiN eyeballs the cuddly-looking creature, mounts it upon his shoulder and continues his marching activities. The bewildered little critter climbs onto okiN's head, surveys its surroundings and beams in a most sunny fashion, deciding not to detonate itself quite yet, it even joins in okiN's rallying cry with a series of atonal yelps* "Squigs' rights now! Squigs' rights now!"
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Unread 4 Jun 2004, 22:55   #48
Barbarossa
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

I remember the first happy roid.
H'ah, I miss that place. I brought all of these catnip donuts to appease the psychotic kitty but alas the silver one is with us no more.

Barman... H'a Drink my man. and one for yourself, indulge yourself.
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Unread 5 Jun 2004, 01:40   #49
AcidK
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

*AcidK looks at okiN and scratches his head.*

Was that a normal Mystbreaker squig or a beserk one?

*AcidK pulls out a Beserkmystbreaker squig, places it on a patron and then, just before it explodes in anger of even being moved, AcidK quickly teleports it outside, listening to an explosion.*

Hmm, very odd... A yes, a drink... erm...

*AcidK turns around, his array of drinks could span the entire HrH if he didn't keep a cluster of portals in the fidges. He picks one at random and hands it to Barbarossa.*

Here ya go... and I don't need to have a drink myself, just had a whole bottle of Myst Breaker, thank you all the same.
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When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade - make life take the lemons back!
Get mad!
I don't want your damn lemons, what am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager.
Make life rue the day it thought it could give me lemons.
Do you know who I am?
I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down!
With the lemons.
I'm going to to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
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Unread 6 Jun 2004, 15:18   #50
Planetkiller II
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Re: The H'all New Happy Roid Hotel

"H'i on the h'other hand shall have a Joybuzzer h'if you please. Now, once we've got nicely h'inebreated, would anyone like to try out the new facillities, or h'indeed the old ones?"
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