Planetarion Forums

Squidly · 1 Sep 2005, 06:36

Alrighty.

I have family over from england. Nice bunch for the most part. The aunt and uncle are really nice, fun to be around... The 11 yr old girl is a bit hyper at times, but is also generally fun to be around

The 7 year old boy is

DRIVING ME UP THE F#*#ING WALL

So far, I have been in general proximity of him about 7 days. 5 of which were spent on holiday in a western canadian province... The other 2 have been here at home in a slightly less western canadian province (my holidays are extreme. no really they are)

In the course of that 7 days I have been:

-Punched in the nether regions 3 times.
I fully realize that being only age 7, he can't muster up a great deal of force. But the fact he caught me off guard all 3 of those times really did add up to: "owwy." Not nearly as bad if some 20 yr old bloke would have decked me in the balls, but... It's not pleasent!

-Belched at right in the face a large number of times as I was trying to give directions to said aunt and uncle.

-The following scenario:

"Do you have a girlfriend?!!!"
"no."
"Do you love her?!"
"How's that work? I don't have a girlfriend!"
"What's her name!!"
"Didn't you hear me the first time?!"
"*belch*"

Happening at least 900 times today

- At age 7, he's a bit insecure despite all of which I have just ranted... and still sucks his thumb. Then, proceeds to grab various parts of my clothing and limbs with said slimy digit {along with the other not so slimy ones} Kinda gross tbfh.

Now, the sad part about this is...

I work at a laser tag arena.
I have to put up with whiny kids for around 4+ hours during most shifts.

and yet

I am at a loss as to what I do about said cousin. I tell him as sternly as I possibly can: "No hitting, no punching, stop it." and he basically replies quite happily: "Ok! I'll hit and punch you!"

As much as I'd like to have a chat with the parents... I really don't want to have this hanging over their holiday here... as apart from kiddo, it's been a pretty kickarse one for them and me.

Heeeelp etc

and before anyone suggests: I cannot and will not punch kiddo right back in the balls.

Apothos · 1 Sep 2005, 06:44

If you're not gonna talk to the parents, you're gonna have to put up with it or risk anything you do upsetting them and spoiling the holiday anyway.

And about that.. seriously, if the kid is that bad, talking to his parents about his behaviour won't put a dampner on things, they'll be used to his behaviour and hopefully have a solution to your problem. Besides that, by not doing anything you're not really helping the kid by letting him get away with it.

[/supernanny]

Squidly · 1 Sep 2005, 06:47

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apothos

If you're not gonna talk to the parents, you're gonna have to put up with it or risk anything you do upsetting them and spoiling the holiday anyway.

And about that.. seriously, if the kid is that bad, talking to his parents about his behaviour won't put a dampner on things, they'll be used to his behaviour and hopefully have a solution to your problem. Besides that, by not doing anything you're not really helping the kid by letting him get away with it.

[/supernanny]

Yeh... they know what he's like. He's really a big whiner, and they've seemingly taken the "take him in stride" approach. IE ignore his whinging until he realizes it aint gonna work.

But unfortunately, you're making sense here

paolo · 1 Sep 2005, 09:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by squidly

- At age 7, he's a bit insecure despite all of which I have just ranted... and still sucks his thumb. Then, proceeds to grab various parts of my clothing and limbs with said slimy digit {along with the other not so slimy ones} Kinda gross tbfh.

Since he's insecure and you have a problem, why not try to scare the shit out of him. Mentally of physically that's up to you. I bet he's the kind of kid whom will believe ghost stories or something similar. Just make him fear you enough to never be around you again.

PSH · 1 Sep 2005, 10:09

Tell him to leave you alone for the rest of the holiday or you will tell everyone you meet that he wets the bed.

All Systems Go · 1 Sep 2005, 11:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Apothos

If you're not gonna talk to the parents, you're gonna have to put up with it or risk anything you do upsetting them and spoiling the holiday anyway.

And about that.. seriously, if the kid is that bad, talking to his parents about his behaviour won't put a dampner on things, they'll be used to his behaviour and hopefully have a solution to your problem. Besides that, by not doing anything you're not really helping the kid by letting him get away with it.

[/supernanny]

Generally the advice parents give is just ignore him. this will not work, it is too late. You have given him too much atvention already and he will just push you until you snap. You will then proceed to shout/beat him and YOU will look like the bad guy and 'but he started it' is no defence for hitting a 7 year old.

So instead of waiting for him to break you here's what you do:

Lock him in a cupboard for 3 days.

Give him a cup so he can piss in it and drink it to stay alive.

After 3 days let him out on condition that he behaves, the first sign of trouble (even the slightest thing i.e. not answering you quick enough) chuck him back in the cupboard.

this time take away the cup.

Reapeat as needed.

After this he will become totally submissive and probably totally repressed for the rest of his life. Or he will grow up to become violent and abusive, but he would have gone home by then so that's not a problem.

that should take care of the little pissant.

Nodrog · 1 Sep 2005, 17:31

Tell his parents to become competant and if they refuse to do so, stop associating with either them or their shithead child. I'm sure theres other things you could do to stay out of their way.

G.K Zhukov · 1 Sep 2005, 17:38

1) Talk to his parents. Tell them to act, or you will refuse to be nearby the kid.

2) If that doesnt work, just punch him back whenever he does it to you. It will learn him that his actions have consequenses.

IncubusGod · 1 Sep 2005, 18:17

Actually at this stage he's locked on to you and knows you will take his shit. So what you have to do is be authoritive. The next time he punches you in the balls, or does something violent you shout at him. Loud. Shout his name in an angry way. If you haven't stood up to him or told him off in that way already it should catch him off guard and shock him a little.
From then on, don't take his crap.

If it doesn't work, and it might not if he's used to being shouted at, then it's probably best to get the parents involved. Otherwise anything else you might do could be seen a bad/cruel or abusive.

the_dastardley_chihuahua · 1 Sep 2005, 18:35

sounds like he needs a good thrashing to me.

Deffeh · 1 Sep 2005, 19:04

deal with it, grow bitter, and hate children for the rest of your life

Forest · 1 Sep 2005, 22:52

I would suggest:

Whenever he is doing something you disapprove off, completely ignore him. No matter what, you must give him no idea he is there. If he is being violent and you have to hold him away, do so calmly without any acknowledgement. No eye contact, no facial expressions, no vocal expressions, nothing at all.
This must be coupled with praise when he is doing what he should. Exact opposite applies here: look at him, smile, encourage. Give him some quiet time where you play a favourite game with him (tell him its because he is being good), read a story. Ask him for his help (I suggest a jigsaw or soemthing that 'you cant do and need help with'. Praise him again when he helps.

It seems to me he is screaming out for attention, and his bad behaviour is getting him attention. Follow those simple steps above, and I am willing to say with some degree of certainty that he will start behaving socially acceptable within a few hours, maximum 2 days.

It may take you a little time to give him this extra 'good' attention, but the benefits should outweigh this:

1) You will be happier.
2) He will be more secure, thus happier.
3) The holiday will not be spolied.
4) You may well make a impression on how the parents act towards the child, if they can start to follow the above, then you may well make a considerable difference to the childs whole life.
5) Making a difference will make you feel all warm and cuddly.
6) You will have a decent relationship.

One other thing I would suggest is make sure you give the girl the same kind of attention, maybe splitting 'story time' so the boy has some time between just you and him. You cant be seen to be just rewarding the boy, or else the girl will start to misbehave to get the attention her brother has gained.

Good Luck with the holiday, let me know how things go.

P.S. I work with children, specialising in 4-7 year children with special needs, mainly behavioural, and I can assure you this is the best technique I have found after 10 years in this field).

Ste · 1 Sep 2005, 23:13

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squidly

11 yr old girl

Forget the boy. Concentrate on the girl. [/Dace]

Thermodynamics · 1 Sep 2005, 23:51

I can just imagine the aunt and uncle saying- our little boy gets on *so* well with his older cousin, I'vve never seen him idolise somebody like that.....

dda · 2 Sep 2005, 21:32

How much longer is the holiday for? If it is going to be a lot longer then Forest is probably right. He has probably latched on to you because he really likes you and wants your attention and approval.

If it is just a few more days then just keep your hands over the family jewels any time he around.

If it for a relatively short time but more than a few days, Nantoz's tactic is very effective. You must be careful not to twist the arm as you lift as this can cause spiral fractures which are not explainable as accidents. What you want to do is to lift up one side and tilt him slightly to the other side so that he is off balance except for the fact that you have a grip on his arm. Loom over him and talk in a measured manner. Walk him to the door in this state and tell him he can come back to your room when he can behave himself, i.e., keep his hands off of your balls.

Boogster · 3 Sep 2005, 00:27

Get used to it. He's a child.

Squidly · 3 Sep 2005, 04:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Boogster

Get used to it. He's a child.

Does every child you meet punch you in the balls?

To everyone else, thanks for the comments... The holiday is for a little longer yet... but today went by rather smoothly. Mainly because the waterpark here is huge and he's too short to go on the slides that I like to frequent

/me hopes for the next few days

Squidly · 3 Sep 2005, 04:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nantoz

You don't have to punch him to make him fear you. Just grab his upper arm and lift him up by it (he's seven, around 30 kg I guess), tell him sternly that he cannot do such at thing, and that you will not stick by it. Do NOT shout, just talk very determined and as scary as you can (Don Corleone doesn't have to shout, neither does Christopher Walken). Scare the living hell out of him without really hurting him.

Also, Forrest's advice seem good in the long term.

I was trying that before I posted unfortunately =/

Whenever I do that... he just says: "Ok! I will!"

No matter how many times I attempt it. Bleh.

djbass · 3 Sep 2005, 10:29

Quote:

Originally Posted by Squidly

I work at a laser tag arena.

OMG that is like the coolest job in the world

We used to have one here, I miss it dearly.

Forest · 3 Sep 2005, 11:10

Hmm I missed that line.

IMO you should defeinetly take the girl there for a trip out, but not the boy, and make sure he knows its a reward for her behaviour, and that he can earn the same reward if his behaviour changes.

Deepflow · 3 Sep 2005, 11:38

hurt him back but make sure you dont leave marks.

Stew · 3 Sep 2005, 11:56

I quick search of this page for "Patio" revealed zero matches. You disappoint me GD.

djbass · 3 Sep 2005, 14:28

Quote:

Originally Posted by Deepflow

hurt him back but make sure you dont leave marks.

I hear tazers are good for this sort of thing

Squidly · 3 Sep 2005, 16:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by djbass

I hear tazers are good for this sort of thing

are you suggesting I taser my cousin?!

...

Do you have any idea what tazers cost nowadays?!

Phil^ · 3 Sep 2005, 16:38

challenge him to a game of laserquest, have the lights 'accidently all go out', sound go off, and lock the door once you're outside
after a few mins of that, go looking for him and see if hes as jumpy.
or : play him and resoundingly beat him at it repeatedly

Marilyn Manson · 3 Sep 2005, 16:42

Shove a cactus up his ass while he's asleep.

Squidly · 3 Sep 2005, 16:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Shove a cactus up his ass while he's asleep.

This alarms me a bit due to the fact that my dad has a massive cactus collection upstairs, and a few of them are a little over 7 feet tall

decisions decisions

Phil^ · 3 Sep 2005, 17:08

show him the video of that frozen chicken being bashed off the table top and tell him if he doesnt stop, ill come over and do the same to him