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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 19:54   #1
QazokRouge5
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Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Well have you? Or any other incriminating sexual evidence against your parents?

I have. It was big and red.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 19:55   #2
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Is this from a movie?
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 19:56   #3
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Maybe it was your younger sister's and it wasn't originally red.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 19:59   #4
QazokRouge5
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Don't have a sister shithead.

No I had a random thought.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 19:59   #5
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Reeeeally didn't need to go there.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 19:59   #6
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by QazokRouge5
Don't have a sister shithead.
Not since I buried the corpse you don't.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 20:01   #7
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Not since I buried the corpse you don't.
That made me laugh in public and get odd looks.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
You'll have to prise my penis from my cold, dead hand!
Quote:
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Gay ducks only do it because it impresses their peers.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 20:04   #8
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Exclamation Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by QazokRouge5
any other incriminating sexual evidence against your parents?
I think my mere existence is sufficient incriminating evidence that my parents had sex. There're also my brothers and sister so clearly they were repeat offenders.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 20:05   #9
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tactitus
I think my mere existence is sufficient incriminating evidence that my parents had sex. There're also my brothers and sister so clearly they were repeat offenders.
Ever wonder if they did it up the butt?
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Quote:
Originally posted by Marilyn Manson
You'll have to prise my penis from my cold, dead hand!
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Gay ducks only do it because it impresses their peers.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 20:08   #10
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Looks like your parents only did it up the butt.


omfglolabmfhobeefstewaggwpplzkthxachachachalolol
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 20:12   #11
Tactitus
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Exclamation Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by QazokRouge5
Ever wonder if they did it up the butt?
Not really, no.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 20:39   #12
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

No, but a firend of mine found a strap-on in his parents bedroom :eek:
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 20:44   #13
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Are you sure it wasn't her big red engorged penis?
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 20:51   #14
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

GD, where crossing the line leads to your mother doing your father up the ass.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 21:39   #15
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

No dildo, but hearing my mum's moaning from the other side of the house was a bit of a wake-up call. Scarred for life at only 14
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 22:26   #16
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
No dildo, but hearing my mum's moaning from the other side of the house was a bit of a wake-up call. Scarred for life at only 14
\o/ you got your wake up call at 14?

Bit late wern't you

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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 23:03   #17
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Oh I knew that they were probably up to some dirty business, but moaning/screaming means you really can't deny it any more.
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 23:05   #18
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Was your father in the house at the time?
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Unread 24 Jan 2006, 23:44   #19
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
Looks like your parents only did it up the butt.


omfglolabmfhobeefstewaggwpplzkthxachachachalolol
Heh! I caught my mother having it off with our lodger back in the day.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 00:07   #20
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

I heard my mum having sex
But I also heard my mum telling my dad that she couldn't wait for him to leave and get out of her life so hey...

My ex found KY in her parents room. heh.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 00:27   #21
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

never happened to me
lalala
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 00:29   #22
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

i saw rents having it off when i was about 7, traumatic is the only word for it.

Also big red thing could of been her inflamed clit in a jar? lollers
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 00:31   #23
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Be more specific.

Never had sex:

With the lodger?
In the ass?
At all?
With a strap-on?
With a big red dildo?
With your mum?

What?
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 00:35   #24
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
No dildo, but hearing my mum's moaning from the other side of the house was a bit of a wake-up call. Scarred for life at only 14
this is a horrible thing to occur. trying to cover your head with a pillow doesnt help because even if yo cant hear it, YOU STILL KNOW ITS THERE.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 00:38   #25
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

At Christmas last year I found a used condom floating in the toilet. I casually knocked on the door of my parents' room, walked in, said "dad, you forgot to flush", walked out, picked up the phone and ordered myself six months of intensive counselling.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 00:42   #26
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

I'm going to email the Pope to tell them of your father's sin against Christ and get him, your mum, you and your entire village excommunicated and burnt at the stake.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 00:44   #27
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
this is a horrible thing to occur. trying to cover your head with a pillow doesnt help because even if yo cant hear it, YOU STILL KNOW ITS THERE.
hahaha
so true
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 01:23   #28
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
this is a horrible thing to occur. trying to cover your head with a pillow doesnt help because even if yo cant hear it, YOU STILL KNOW ITS THERE.
Spot on . I can't even pretend that it was like Kevin from Kevin & Perry (Harry Enfield) where they only do it once and hate it. My mum loves it.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 01:44   #29
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
I'm going to email the Pope to tell them of your father's sin against Christ and get him, your mum, you and your entire village excommunicated and burnt at the stake.
Hes probably a protestant anyway.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 02:08   #30
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

It's at time's like these i'm glad i was raised Catholic (as one of my parents was of that persuasion).

For a start they don't have sex (it's against God).

And when they do they feel so guilty about it "THEY DONT MAKE A SOUND" \o/
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 03:01   #31
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
My mum loves it.
I know, she told me last night when I called her a dirty little leprechaun.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 03:21   #32
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by QazokRouge5
I know, she told me last night when I called her a dirty little leprechaun.
What the hell? DM's spent the last 10 minutes in #forums taking the piss at a constantly high level, and then I see you've made a totally shitting useless Irish joke which is totally irrelevant.


Go **** a chicken and catch bird AIDS, or Ebola. Either's fine by me.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 03:33   #33
Phang
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

you lost the moral highground dude


"yeah? well, you have sex with...er, BIRDS! and not the vernacular usage!"
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 03:40   #34
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

I don't think I ever held the moral high ground
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 05:16   #35
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
I don't think I ever held the moral high ground
The yellow teddy bear in your avatar does
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 05:50   #36
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

I caught my mother buying condoms before (when I was 13), I was in my local shopping centre and went into the chemist and up to the counter. There she was with a 12 pack...which I immediatly didn't look at as I didn't want to know what type of brand/texture etc it was.
It was bad enough realising they'd be off having sex in the room next to mine with those condoms....if I had to think that while knowing they were strawberry flavour or some such I'd have gone insane.

Though it did trigger a memory that I had repressed. Mainly that of waking in on them when I was about 6 or 7.
*shudder*

Now if you'll excuse me, I need a shower and a strong whiskey.
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 06:43   #37
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Your all repressed, the lot of yer! In our family we used to join in!
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 07:13   #38
demiGOD
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

I saw my mom ****ing Santa when I was 5.

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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 10:32   #39
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by furball
Spot on . I can't even pretend that it was like Kevin from Kevin & Perry (Harry Enfield) where they only do it once and hate it. My mum loves it.
What a freak! What kind of a strange person would love sex?!


On another note, my parents have never had sex and I was an immaculate conception.



(immaculate means "with the milkman", right?)
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Unread 25 Jan 2006, 18:40   #40
QazokRouge5
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Re: Have you ever seen your mothers dildo?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
What a freak! What kind of a strange person would love sex?!


On another note, my parents have never had sex and I was an immaculate conception.



(immaculate means "with the milkman", right?)
No immaculate means with me.
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