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16 Jan 2007, 12:44
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#1
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Hello Tietäjä
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Preston, UK
Posts: 290
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translation mix-ups
I was looking on another forum ( http://forum.wordreference.com) and I found a gem of a thread which really cracked me up, about funny and embarrasing mistakes made by people trying to learn a language in a foreign country. Here's a couple that made me laugh:
I have a friend called Dave who's from Ireland and when he came to France to visit me and my family, as he didn't have much money he decided to hitch a ride. Now Dave speaks very little French but still, he wanted to make conversation with the guy who'd given him a ride.
As it was really cold outside, assuming that talking about the weather was pretty safe, he went: "je suis fou!" (I am insane) instead of "j'ai froid" (I'm cold).
Then he realized he must have made some sort of mistake and didn't utter another word during the whole journey! It still makes me laugh to tears.
In 12 years' teaching English as a foreign language in Spain my students have given me plenty of lovely little moments. The best comic moments were from an older gentleman who was studying English from scratch in order to speak to his daughter-in-law. His keenness to learn and speak was only matched by his flamboyant disregard for any grammar in his sentences. He was always the first to laugh at his own mistakes.
Here are some of his gems:
To get angry is when you lose your temperature. (temper)
I am a handbag. (I have a bag)
I eat my wife. (My wife makes my food)
There are too many people in this snack. (snack-bar)
When are you fat? (?)
My favourite sandwich is jam and keys. (ham and cheese)
Ah, selfish! Like the big store in London! (Selfridges)
A zip is a small animal. ( I presume he was talking about a bee)
A further 2000 pounds is now being sick (sought)
Before I start a long journey in the car I always check the whales. (wheels)
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.
several years ago I wanted to refer to a friend of mine as a gentleman (caballero), and instead called him a caballo (horse).
etc...
Now my story... I had once tried to help teach a Greek girl some english and, being college students, we were telling her about male reproductive organs ( a vital part of her education). She couldn't quite get the hang of the word 'penis' and kept saying 'peanuts' which we found a little amusing, that was until my 'helpful' friend told her he had two peanuts (referring to balls) -- and you should have seen the scared look on her face! O_o
Hope other people have some fun examples :-)
-tux
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16 Jan 2007, 12:47
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#2
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: translation mix-ups
I was having sex with an Italian Girl and she said "come on me"
so I did...
she meant "hug me" but never mind
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16 Jan 2007, 19:40
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#3
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Most unimportant guy...
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: Kvinesdal
Posts: 1,393
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
I was having sex with an Italian Girl and she said "come on me"
so I did...
she meant "hug me" but never mind
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Pfft its almost the same :S
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When we discover the centre of the universe, alot of people will be shocked and dissapointed to know that they are not it!
Retired
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16 Jan 2007, 20:46
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#4
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Victim of Marriage
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 784
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Re: translation mix-ups
One of my wife's hillbilly friend and his girlfriend call each other 'Johann' which they think means stupid. I told her that after 4 years of German in High School, that 'Johann' was just a name, the equivalant of 'John' in English. I then went on to tell her what the equivalant of stupid was and she didn't understand the word so told me to stop being a 'know-it-all'.
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You mean there's life outside the internet...oh man I'm screwed.
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16 Jan 2007, 21:06
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#5
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: translation mix-ups
Why do you live with/socialise with all these hillbillies if you hate them so much?
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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16 Jan 2007, 22:57
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#6
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Raaaaaaaah!
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 2,296
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Re: translation mix-ups
It seems J25's wife is always befriending those hillbillies.
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16 Jan 2007, 23:05
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#7
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deserves a medal
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,211
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Re: translation mix-ups
Here are some infamous dutch once that have actually been used:
I always get my sin. (I always get what I want)
Go your gang (ga je gaan, go ahead)
I'm a bit in the war ('in de war' means 'confused' in dutch)
I do not want to fall with the door in the house
How do you do and how do you do your wife?
May I thank your cock for the lovely dinner? (a kok means a chef)
I fok horses
I beg your pardon?
Yes paarden
(to fok = to breed) (paarden means horses)
Very holiday
You've fallen with your nose in the butter
I almost went off my little stick (I almost passed out)
I spend my day spitting in the garden (working)
I'm the state secretary of the inside and i'm having my first period
I hate you hardly welcome (I welcome you with all my heart)
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"I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion."
Last edited by Alessio; 16 Jan 2007 at 23:27.
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17 Jan 2007, 00:27
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#8
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Victim of Marriage
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 784
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Why do you live with/socialise with all these hillbillies if you hate them so much?
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I'm accidentally married one, and she won't give up her hillbilly friends for some reason, and I can't legally beat them out of her.
Edit: I don't recall ever mentioning hating them, on the contrary I love the hillbillies, they give me a laugh.
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You mean there's life outside the internet...oh man I'm screwed.
Last edited by jt25man; 17 Jan 2007 at 00:38.
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17 Jan 2007, 02:06
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#9
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
I'm accidentally married one, and she won't give up her hillbilly friends for some reason, and I can't legally beat them out of her.
Edit: I don't recall ever mentioning hating them, on the contrary I love the hillbillies, they give me a laugh.
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Yeah, I don't think you ever have. You don't seem to especially like spending time with them or anything though.
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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17 Jan 2007, 02:12
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: London
Posts: 3,347
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
Edit: I don't recall ever mentioning hating them, on the contrary I love the hillbillies, they give me a laugh.
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Even at the funeral?
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The 20th century has been characterised by three developments of great political importance. The growth of democracy; the growth of corporate power; and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy.
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17 Jan 2007, 09:03
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#11
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Bad Girl
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: right here..right now
Posts: 1,055
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
I'm accidentally married one, and she won't give up her hillbilly friends for some reason, and I can't legally beat them out of her.
Edit: I don't recall ever mentioning hating them, on the contrary I love the hillbillies, they give me a laugh.
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They must have some redeeming features .. after all
jt25man married one.
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R11 -> NOW HR HC
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17 Jan 2007, 10:17
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#12
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistwraith
They must have some redeeming features .. after all
jt25man married one.
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More likely to do anal?
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17 Jan 2007, 11:41
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#13
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Hello Tietäjä
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Preston, UK
Posts: 290
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Re: translation mix-ups
lol nice how this thread was left for a day and somehow changed from translation mix-ups to how hillbillies might be more open-minded to anal sex.
i love gd
__________________
-Blue Moon- aka LordQuashi, Behert, BeherTux, BT, TuxedoMask, tuxed0
R1-2 [VanX] - R3 [Legion] - R4 [Legion/Shogun/FORT] - R5-6 [WP/Shogun/FORT] - R7-8 [VsN] - R9-R9.5 [Seraphim/VsN]- R10-12 [WP] R13 [1up/eXilition] R14 [Orbit/scanner] R15 [eXilition] R16 [Orbit/scanner] R17 [Subh/scanner] R18 [eXilition] R19 [F-Crew/scanner] R20 [Orbit/Destiny/scanner] R21-22 [Orbit/scanner] R23-25 [In-gal-def-ho]
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17 Jan 2007, 17:00
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#14
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: translation mix-ups
I had a teacher from scotland in 'cultura inglesa' which is one of the best english schools in brazil ( i dunno how my english still is as crappy as it is) and he would harass me constantly to take notes of everything during the class. One day I told him to leave me alone that i could handle myself
then he called me an ignorant disrespectfull bastard
I was never harassed by teachers in regular classes ( meaning highschool etc). It took a brute from scotland to do that
I think that it contained no funny translation misunderstandings, but its an interesting story on cultural differences
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Bizarrely overrated
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17 Jan 2007, 17:20
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#15
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Motherfracker
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 2,985
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Re: translation mix-ups
I once said heaven/sky instead of ice.
Wow, that was hilarious...
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17 Jan 2007, 20:06
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#16
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by -Blue Moon-
lol nice how this thread was left for a day and somehow changed from translation mix-ups to how hillbillies might be more open-minded to anal sex.
i love gd
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Your original post was shit.
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hi
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17 Jan 2007, 20:50
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#17
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I ♡ ☠
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 834
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Re: translation mix-ups
whilst working in a student bar a while back a chinese student asked me for a small cock instead of a small coke.
did you give her a small cock anyway is the witty reply question you were looking for.
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17 Jan 2007, 21:06
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#18
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I ♡ ☠
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 834
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Re: translation mix-ups
yes and i charged her 78p for it.
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17 Jan 2007, 21:18
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#19
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: translation mix-ups
you were lucky she didnt ask for a large cock or you just wouldnt have known what to do would you hebdomad?!?!
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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17 Jan 2007, 21:25
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#20
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I ♡ ☠
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 834
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Re: translation mix-ups
I ejaculate globules of thick white coke as well.
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17 Jan 2007, 21:31
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#21
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Victim of Marriage
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: NW Indiana
Posts: 784
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Re: translation mix-ups
A man once said as a pick-up line: "I have a penis the size of a baby."
The girl giggled and said: "Really, that's it."
The man then said: "Yep, 12 inches long, weighs 9 pounds, 6 ounces."
I dunno if that counts as a translation mix-up though.
__________________
You mean there's life outside the internet...oh man I'm screwed.
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17 Jan 2007, 22:33
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#22
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: translation mix-ups
hey hey hey
that joke was invented in brazil
it even sounds funnier in portuguese :frowns very hard:
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Bizarrely overrated
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17 Jan 2007, 23:53
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#23
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baron Morte
hey hey hey
that joke was invented in brazil
it even sounds funnier in portuguese :frowns very hard:
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Because of all the lisping involved, I expect?
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"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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18 Jan 2007, 17:03
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#24
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Because of all the lisping involved, I expect?
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sure, cos we all talk walk and look like fez from thats 70´s show!!
everyday is party
you gotta go down under someday
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Bizarrely overrated
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18 Jan 2007, 17:08
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#25
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Manchester
Posts: 78
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
May I thank your cock for the lovely dinner? (a kok means a chef)
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I didnt know that
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18 Jan 2007, 17:20
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#26
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: translation mix-ups
Isn't there a difference between Mexican Spanish and Castillian Spanish where if you say "Where can I catch a bus" it sounds like "I want to **** a bus" or something?
My ex couldn't understand why everyone would piss themselves when she was trying to find a bus stop in Guadlajara...
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18 Jan 2007, 18:26
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#27
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Dum Di Dum Di
Join Date: Sep 2001
Posts: 858
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Re: translation mix-ups
Well, I was teaching English when I was in Moscow and a 35 year old woman there asked:
' I've been in correspondance with an American business man. What is the difference between whorehouse and warehouse?'
after a short explanation she swore and blushed.. a lot =)
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18 Jan 2007, 18:29
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#28
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Lucky
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: -
Posts: 3,830
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by -Blue Moon-
-Are you single?
-No, I'm double.
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18 Jan 2007, 22:04
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#29
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Blatantly overcooked
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 1,575
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
Isn't there a difference between Mexican Spanish and Castillian Spanish where if you say "Where can I catch a bus" it sounds like "I want to **** a bus" or something?
My ex couldn't understand why everyone would piss themselves when she was trying to find a bus stop in Guadlajara...
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lollolololo
its that in some spanish countries you can call a tiny bus of 'buseta' which sounds just like 'buceta' which means twat
lol
people always make jokes about that
day in day out
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23 Jan 2007, 02:21
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#30
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:cool:
Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: Here, there and everywhere
Posts: 791
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Re: translation mix-ups
Quote:
The Fire-Bursts.com project is moving. Since we're planning an extensive online service, thorough preparation is necessary. Unfortunately this can take some time, because we can only work on it further during our sometimes very restricted free time.
Also, the website has to be kept active in places. A public test is planned for March 2007. Thanks to our web partner, Fire-Bursts.com will be able to finance itself in the future, so all our services will remain free.
In the future we will not be able to get by without advertising, however we're going a new way with this. Our concept is theme based advertising and product placement, without annoying the user. Well placed information is always more effective than annoying flashing.
Thankyou to all our loyal users - your data will of course be kept safe.
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You know professionals charge like 5p per word for something like that
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