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Unread 11 Dec 2006, 13:52   #1
Tomkat
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If only Deepflow was still a town ranger in Kingston...

http://www.surreycomet.co.uk/news/lo...ns_pigeons.php

The article isn't that exciting but read some of the comments below.

Maybe if Deepflow hadn't been sacked from his town ranger job he would have been employed as the pigeon-marksman!


I think my favourite three (all by the same person) are these:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs Dallinger
Posted by: Mr Dallinger on 5:06pm Thu 30 Nov 06
My elder sister was held captive for nine days by a flock of rock pigeons on a small island near Malta in 1979 - it may have been Gozo but I'm not too sure. (Sorry about that.) As you might gather she suffers from nightmares and flashbacks but she has also developed a loathing of millet seeds for some strange reason. She is in full support of the cull and, in actual fact, she has already applied for the job and fully intends to carry out her duties as soon as possible - whether she gets the job or not. Be careful around town folks - she's not a good shot.


Posted by: Mrs Dallinger on 5:18pm Thu 30 Nov 06
Dear Margaret. As you can see I've finally mastered this email thing! Sue and John came to visit today, which was nice, and it was Sue who taught me how to use the email. I shall be writing to you often now that I have figured it out. Please send my love to Helen and the boys. See you soon Love Mum xxx


Posted by: Mrs Dallinger on 6:27pm Thu 30 Nov 06
Dear Mr Umbuku Please excuse any email fau pas I may make as this is only the second email I have ever written. Isn't it exciting? I was so sorry to hear about your plight with the Nigerian authorities and the subsequent demise of your mother, it must be a very difficult time for you my dear. My husband was saying only yesterday that the pond needed a new liner and the amount of money you are offering is quite staggering. Those Nigerian authorities have no right to withhold all that money, especially as it belongs to your family. Mr Dallinger has asked that I reply to you and confirm that the amount you wish to place into our bank account is indeed $645,00000? It does seem rather a lot. I look forward to your reply. Your sincerely Mrs D Dallinger
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Unread 11 Dec 2006, 13:55   #2
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Re: If only Deepflow was still a town ranger in Kingston...

some of the comments on that page make me wish that the marksmen would 'accidently miss' and decrease the numbers of idiots at the same time

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Dallinger on 9:57pm Wed 29 Nov 06
I think the correct solution would be to hack the wings off as many pigeons as possible before joining them together to create one large wing. This could be wafted at the pigeons by any member of the townsfolk when numbers got too high. Children could also shelter under it at times of heavy rain or possibly loud thunder.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs D. Smithers on 12:05am Thu 30 Nov 06
I was once saved from certain death when a pair of woods grasped me by the shoulders and flew me from the path of an oncoming car. Now these feathered heroes follow me everywhere and they often speak to me too. I will be going out tomorrow tooled up to protect this noble race of animals and if I find the marksman then it will be me or him. I say NO to the slaughter of the innocents and am willing to lay down my life in their defence. As for them being the spawn of Satan, well, that is obviously a comment from a very deluded person, get help is all I can say to that, everyone knows they are God's messengers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland Runtfarmer on 12:29am Thu 30 Nov 06
What a lot of fuss over nothing. Everyone knows pigeons can't be killed, they are immortal and immune to bullets. Where I come from we worship the pigeon deity and never look them in the eye as this can turn a man to stone. I can only warn the gunman chappy that if he should lift a finger against but one bird he will incur their never ending wrath and more than likely burn in **** for his actions. I would not risk it myself, it's just not worth it. Leave it !!! Many have tried and even the mightiest have failed! The only way that may have some effect is to tie them down and chant incantations while you flay their hides with an stout oaken branch blessed by a high priest of Nayhead. Mr McNally, the orchestrater of this ill thought out plan I say unto you beware the consequences of your actions against the blessed ones.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Hunt on 4:17pm Thu 30 Nov 06.
Pigeons can be very intelligent creatures. This is because they are actually bred from dolphins and can travel vast lengths underwater as well as through the air. I warn you now Council folk, if you so much as dare remove or cull any pigeon from Kingston or the surrounding local I shall withhold my council tax! I'm prepared to go to prison to save these beautiful specimens of birds so just forget it ok?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr Snorter on 4:57pm Thu 30 Nov 06
Pigeons are kind and caring. Two come and visit me each day and tell me things. They told me not to discuss this with anyone so none of you say anything if they should ask you. OK?
What kind of editor actually lets comments like these be published?
What is wrong with these people
Im giving up quoting the stupid ones, the entire page is pretty much insane
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Unread 11 Dec 2006, 13:59   #3
Tomkat
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Re: If only Deepflow was still a town ranger in Kingston...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil^
What kind of editor actually lets a comment like that be published?
What is wrong with these people
I don't think they're meant to be serious Phil. It's a joke
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Unread 11 Dec 2006, 14:04   #4
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Re: If only Deepflow was still a town ranger in Kingston...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I don't think they're meant to be serious Phil. It's a joke
:crymeariver:
and here i was thinking it was a local paper's site :/
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Unread 11 Dec 2006, 14:06   #5
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Re: If only Deepflow was still a town ranger in Kingston...

Oh Phil

Have you been talking to Nadar too much recently?
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Unread 11 Dec 2006, 14:06   #6
Tomkat
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Re: If only Deepflow was still a town ranger in Kingston...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil^
:crymeariver:
and here i was thinking it was a local paper's site :/
...It is?

But you can post a comment just by giving your name and e-mail address...
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Unread 11 Dec 2006, 14:40   #7
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Re: If only Deepflow was still a town ranger in Kingston...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kim Jon Il on 2:53pm Dec 1
I just hope the council don't get more than they bargained for. I have heard the PLF (Pigeon Liberation Front) have been actively sourcing arms from overseas and are preparing for a military cooooooo!
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