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24 May 2005, 04:43
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#1
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share the <3
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Location: Location:
Posts: 2,709
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unwanted advances from a female
A woman is throwing herself at me, i don't want her, i can't just tell her to **** off as it'll have repurcussions on the rest of the friend network. She keeps flirting with me* shes a bit of a psychopath or appears to be. What do i do? shes 32-33 yrs old im not exactly sure which, and shes the sister of a friend and noone knows this is happening. She can be a complete and utter bitch and is one of those women who once scorned will do everything to destroy you.
Ive come up with
a) do nothing, play dead and hope she moves on to another victim when bored
b) **** her and be damned at the consequences**
c) tell her to **** off and to hell with what happens***
d) discreetly**** put her down every chance i get
* ive done nothing to encourage her this is out of the blue, i may have made her laugh a few times but jesus that was all, she grabs my arm laughs at everything i say invades my personal space talks to me when i want to stay quiet. Short of having a sign '**** me now' shes done everything to make it known.
** nightmare scenarios are pregnancy (eeeek) or some sort of psycho bitch who mates with me for life
*** possible social problems, risk alienation and escalation or not? she is a bitch everyone knows she is a bitch so theres a good chance people would understand when she calls me a paedophile or something
**** not very, call her idiot and stupid etc, eventually she'll go away.
after a lifetime of being the hunter ive become hunted and im frozen in the headlights.
__________________
Sophie is hotter than you
though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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24 May 2005, 04:57
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#2
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Not Dark or Handsome
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Cwmbru
Posts: 2,588
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Try to 'inadvertently' put her off. Fart and burp a lot. Be insensitive. Be a bit sexist or racist. People who know you will know it isn't the real you, fk anyone else (except her, haha!).
__________________
"You can't drink a pint of Bovril."
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24 May 2005, 05:01
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#3
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
I think GD's advice in this area can usually be summed up in the words "her" "the" "corpse" "and" "bury" "rape".
However in an attempt to defy tradition I'm going to go with "tell her you have syphilis".
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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24 May 2005, 05:54
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#4
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
fk her, then tell her you have syphillis
at least then you'd have gotten laid
and that's all that matters right?
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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24 May 2005, 06:25
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#5
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4 5 6
Join Date: Feb 2005
Posts: 168
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
aids
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24 May 2005, 07:13
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#6
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Guy next door
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Act all manly and macho (maybe in a slightly humourous way), and show her your ego loves the attention but be sure she also knows that you're just playing with her.
She'll get tired of you pretty fast. It's what I would do.
__________________
..look
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24 May 2005, 08:01
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#7
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Bored
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Nottm ->Shef ->Croydon ->Manc ->Durham ->Sheffield
Posts: 6,506
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
sleep with one of her friends
Everyone* wins
*you
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24 May 2005, 08:08
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#8
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by Apothos
... Be a bit sexist or racist...
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Yeah the thing is if she likes Nusselt that much her rational mind will have turned itself off long ago and she'll still like Nusselt even if he acts like a complete prick; Women.
I am in a similar situation. I have isolated myself from that friendship group, I can't say I'm missing a lot anyway. She knows I'm avoiding her and will do my upmost to not talk to her or be in her company. It really hasn't helped. She's knows I'm not interested and won't make explict moves (much). But she's still there, biding her time, making subtle comments.
I suggest leaving the country. Or, go about wiping all your friends memories of all the relations they have with each other in order to start afresh. Oh, and move these people in to different physical locations so they can't make the same mistake again by becoming friends with each other. It's kind of a clean-slate philosophy.
Last edited by Weeks; 24 May 2005 at 08:31.
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24 May 2005, 08:08
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#9
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Insanely Insignificant
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Bournemouth
Posts: 1,056
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Nothing will get the message across to her quite like having another girlfriend.
Or get someone to pretend to be until the schizo ****s off.
__________________
Very nearly there.
All is nothing, without you.
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24 May 2005, 08:10
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#10
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Oh, Phalon wins.
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24 May 2005, 08:19
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#11
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Armed w/ Nukes
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Research Triangle
Posts: 42
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Apothos has the right idea. Any quips towards her and she'll be talking shit about you behind your back.
If you want to turn her off without pissing her off, be as unattractive and boring as possible. Start talking about weather reports or the latest economic reforms, and steer any conversation you have with her towards philosophical debate. If that doesn't work then you can start ignoring her, but you definitely don't want to overtly fukk with someone who's psychotic.
__________________
AUT INVENIAM VIAM AUT FACIAM
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24 May 2005, 08:25
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#12
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Banned
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 2,635
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
If she's psychotic see won't respond to the normal 'for the love of the sweet lord above just leave me alone' approach by trying to put her off.
Only another woman can fight this. It's like hiring giraffe to protect you from another giraffe. This will work unless the giraffe you don't want is nastier than your protector giraffe. In that case all hope is lost. Game over, you've had a good life, don't look back in anger.
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24 May 2005, 09:56
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#13
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Godfather
Join Date: May 2000
Location: England
Posts: 5,185
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
i was going to say...
you need another woman.......
however I honestly dont see whats wrong with a bit of ego massaging. Its rare it happens so enjoy while i lasts i guess.
__________________
Forum Administrator
Mail : [email protected] // IRC : #forums
__________________
It's not personal, it's just business.
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24 May 2005, 10:25
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#14
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Guy next door
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim
however I honestly dont see whats wrong with a bit of ego massaging. Its rare it happens so enjoy while i lasts i guess.
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Yeah exactly, I never had problems with some woman obsessing over me (till a certain point), no matter how unactractive. I am a narcist of the highest order though.
__________________
..look
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24 May 2005, 10:42
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#15
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Retired VGN
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In a country without a proper word for "sane"
Posts: 467
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalon
Nothing will get the message across to her quite like having another girlfriend.
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Or a boyfriend, that would work even better, I imagine.
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24 May 2005, 10:43
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#16
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,332
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Just tell her you're a batty boy.
Then mince about for the rest of your life to make it look convincing
__________________
They mostly come at night. Mostly.
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24 May 2005, 11:14
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#17
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Tell her you're addicted to asterisks (as you apparently are).
That'll warn the harlot off.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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24 May 2005, 11:43
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#18
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This is bat country
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Norway
Posts: 1,693
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
play dead, thats what i always do
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Burárum!
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24 May 2005, 12:01
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#19
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Miles Teg
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Dom City
Posts: 5,192
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
just ignore her, totally
__________________
Audentes Fortuna Iuvat
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24 May 2005, 12:04
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#20
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Mr. Blobby
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: Belgium
Posts: 8,271
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Bury her and rape the corpse.
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24 May 2005, 12:09
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#21
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NEWSBOT
Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: The enby cave!
Posts: 4,872
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
Bury her and rape the corpse.
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Leshy needs a job and a girlfriend*
*that's what it says when i put my mouse over your rep.
__________________
[20:27:47] <nodrog-aawy> **** i think my housemate just caught me masturbating
[11:25:32] <idimmu> you are a little piggy arent you
[13:17:00] <KaneED> i'm so closet i'm like narnia
__________________
Pretty parks and funky scrap metal things here
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24 May 2005, 12:35
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#22
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Heh, Leeds !
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In The Redfern
Posts: 3,790
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
take her out for a meal and ask her all about her mother.
__________________
The George Harrison of BlueTuba
Yes, I know he is dead !
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24 May 2005, 12:37
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#23
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Choice of Whacker sir?
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Ireland
Posts: 679
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Nusselt,
This is so simple. To do what I suggest you must be totally comitted from the start. You can't back out half way (no pun intended)
Simply ride the bejaysus out of her. Go into the office the next day and make up the worst possible shit about her, warty fanny, puss ridden minge bag, so stretchy that you could have stuck your head up there without her noticing, I'm sure you can think of some and go tell the office gossip.
You have gotten your sex, and revenge for putting you in this awkward situation.
The alternative is to suffer.
tsm
__________________
* thanos sets mode: -brain The_Shadow_Man
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24 May 2005, 12:42
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#24
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Guy next door
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadowMan
Nusselt,
This is so simple. To do what I suggest you must be totally comitted from the start. You can't back out half way (no pun intended)
Simply ride the bejaysus out of her. Go into the office the next day and make up the worst possible shit about her, warty fanny, puss ridden minge bag, so stretchy that you could have stuck your head up there without her noticing, I'm sure you can think of some and go tell the office gossip.
You have gotten your sex, and revenge for putting you in this awkward situation.
The alternative is to suffer.
tsm
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You're an utter idiot, sorry don't internet threat me.
__________________
..look
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24 May 2005, 12:48
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#25
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Why does Toccata & Fugue's post show up as being made by me with my avatar?
And where is my post?
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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24 May 2005, 12:49
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#26
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Why does Toccata & Fugue's post show up as being made by me with my avatar?
And where is my post?
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Are you insane?
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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24 May 2005, 12:50
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#27
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Choice of Whacker sir?
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Ireland
Posts: 679
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
You're an utter idiot, sorry don't internet threat me.
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hypocrite
__________________
* thanos sets mode: -brain The_Shadow_Man
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24 May 2005, 12:55
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#28
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Are you insane?
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one word:
Jersey.
__________________
Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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24 May 2005, 12:58
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#29
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deserves a medal
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,211
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Just tell her you want her everytime you see her..
follow her closely.. 3 inches away from her face.. while staring in her eyes
and keep repeating yourself obsessively
For example
__________________
"I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion."
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24 May 2005, 13:01
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#30
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Banned
Join Date: May 2001
Location: Further to the right
Posts: 19,441
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
You're an utter idiot, sorry don't internet threat me.
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In this post we remember that Silversmoke once internet threatened to beat up koen in real life.
(We also criticise me for taking so many shots at silversmoke )
__________________
Some might ask what good is life without purpose but I'm anticipating a good lunch.
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24 May 2005, 13:11
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#31
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Guy next door
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
ah yeah, shit, forgot about that
__________________
..look
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24 May 2005, 13:14
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#32
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deserves a medal
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,211
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Press ur forehead really hard against her head when she gets close and laugh
Just bite her tongue a few times
Pinch her tits really hard
its a win win situation
__________________
"I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion."
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24 May 2005, 13:16
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#33
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,332
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alessio
Just tell her you want her everytime you see her..
follow her closely.. 3 inches away from her face.. while staring in her eyes
and keep repeating yourself obsessively
For example
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You go to Lancaster University? I used to go there!
What college?
__________________
They mostly come at night. Mostly.
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24 May 2005, 13:17
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#34
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deserves a medal
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,211
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChubbyChecker
You go to Lancaster University? I used to go there!
What college?
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Nah I googled that pic, im from the Netherlands
(I bet that suprises noone)
__________________
"I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion."
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24 May 2005, 13:17
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#35
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Happy
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Canada eh
Posts: 4,793
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
hmm.. i like the get a gf idea better.
win win
__________________
Where ever you go, there you are.
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24 May 2005, 13:32
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#36
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King of The Fat Boys
Join Date: Feb 2001
Location: UK
Posts: 3,332
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alessio
Nah I googled that pic, im from the Netherlands
(I bet that suprises noone)
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I was extremely surprised.
And shocked.
__________________
They mostly come at night. Mostly.
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24 May 2005, 14:56
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#37
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:alpha:
Join Date: May 2002
Location: London, UK
Posts: 7,871
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Are you insane?
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I think there's something up with the computers at this school. I'm using Firefox.
It sometimes just shows my posts as blank, or as someone else having written them.
__________________
"There is no I in team, but there are two in anal fisting"
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24 May 2005, 14:59
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#38
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Made of Twigs
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 5,459
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I think there's something up with the computers at this school. I'm using Firefox.
It sometimes just shows my posts as blank, or as someone else having written them.
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Do you have yourself on ignore?
Because that would be funny.
__________________
If I hadn't seen such riches, I could live with being poor - James
It's hard to be humble when you're as great as I am - Muhammad Ali
So **** y'all, all of y'all; if y'all don't like me, blow me! - Dr. Dre
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24 May 2005, 15:04
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#39
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Mistress's fluffer
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 172
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
3 Simple words.
I AM GAY.
You'll be sorted
__________________
-= Mankind =-
::Mistress1's fluffer::
#planetarion op
#1 Galaxy Winner
#1 ********** Galaxy winner
Top 15 ********** planet
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24 May 2005, 15:07
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#40
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
I don't think I've ever had a woman come onto me who wasn't drunk.
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24 May 2005, 15:18
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#41
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Believe it or not I have spent a lot of my life being pursued by people of various genders and ages.
Here's how I cope.
I have a 'stock phrase' and good friends.
You teach your friends to respond when they hear your stock phrase.
Mine is "that's very kind of you to say"
For Instance:
Slightly tipsy heavily maked 50 year old woman is running her hand through my hair and telling me what a beautiful singing voice i have. "that's very kind of you to say"
My bestfriend who is some 4m away chatting to young attractive women instantly turns around and says to me "you really have to meet 'so and so'"
problem averted.
find a friend you trust who will be around at the same time as this woman.
train them well.
__________________
hi
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24 May 2005, 15:24
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#42
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Guy next door
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: The Netherlands
Posts: 4,745
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
You sound frustrated.
__________________
..look
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24 May 2005, 18:54
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#43
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Old Man O Deh *****s
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: In spelelpee land
Posts: 3,516
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I don't think I've ever had a woman come onto me who wasn't drunk.
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The opposites to this statement make my brain want to go blind.
__________________
Dead_Meat
You dont need to keep beating a dog to get it to stop shitting on the carpet
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24 May 2005, 19:00
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#44
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Vermin Supreme
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Pittsburgh
Posts: 3,280
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Obvious solution is to just drop the "I really only live for blowjobs and anal sex" in a conversation at some point.
for the win/win
tbh, the soutions i've used:
1. Move away
2. Use her to massage your ego until she moves away (works best when you know she's moving in a week or two)
3. Give her your phone number then never answer your phone again (this works better in the age of caller ID than it did back in the day)
4. Start a relationship with her
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24 May 2005, 19:30
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#45
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Evil inside
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,631
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
If she is REALLY annoying I suggest you tell her a that your ghey (but dont tell anyone etc).
I got the same problem, with a woman who's like 30, but I just try to not meet her that often.
__________________
<Germania>but you called Fury a bully, and that is terribly unfair
<Hicks>Occassionally individuals do things without Executive consent
<Dreadnought>You cant whois on Eclipse server without a registered nic, which mr ****stirrer doesnt have.
<Almeida> well i like to grow fat myself too, and when i have enough ships then i can engage in big battles
<Nantoz> Zhukov for Lord Protector!
<Jakiri> (Windows)XP was fine on release
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24 May 2005, 21:44
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#46
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Retired VGN
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In a country without a proper word for "sane"
Posts: 467
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Nantoz is a lesbian caught in a man's body.
For **** sake, how many times must he link his picture before you understand he's male?
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24 May 2005, 22:02
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#47
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BlueTuba
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 6,339
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
do what all real men do in a situation like this.
hide.
__________________
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
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24 May 2005, 22:04
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#48
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share the <3
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Location: Location:
Posts: 2,709
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Ive decided not to heed anyones advice ('cept may be idler and t&f). Im not confronting this woman, shes my idea of absolute hell. Shes basically the typical ultra domineering wanna-stay-young-forever psychopathic bottle blonde type. If i touch her in anyway i will never escape. Her brother lives down the road from me, if he ever moves ill tell her to go **** herself until then ican't as i sometimes need his services (his car MM not his penis before you ask). Im not the type to act like a complete bastard towards a person and like weeks says it won't have any effect. Im semi isoloating myself from that entire situation, i can pretty much ignore her if i don't go out with certain people, which is what im going to do.
Id always wondered what it'd be like to have someone throw themselves at you, and its not very ****ing nice. When people grab your arm slip theirs between yours and hold on with a vice like grip, or come right up to your face and start laughing at anything you say or stare at you in a mental way you want to run and hide. She wants to suck at my fountain of youth
__________________
Sophie is hotter than you
though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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24 May 2005, 22:36
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#49
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Retired VGN
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: In a country without a proper word for "sane"
Posts: 467
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
Guess you should make a thread named "wanted attention from males"
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24 May 2005, 22:44
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#50
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Evil inside
Join Date: Nov 2001
Posts: 3,631
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Re: unwanted advances from a female
So Nussult, in this group of people, isnt there someone you could talk to about the problem? Someone you knows want tell anyone etc?
__________________
<Germania>but you called Fury a bully, and that is terribly unfair
<Hicks>Occassionally individuals do things without Executive consent
<Dreadnought>You cant whois on Eclipse server without a registered nic, which mr ****stirrer doesnt have.
<Almeida> well i like to grow fat myself too, and when i have enough ships then i can engage in big battles
<Nantoz> Zhukov for Lord Protector!
<Jakiri> (Windows)XP was fine on release
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