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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 16:39   #1
pig
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Ants in your pants
So today I went on my lunch and went to villa park, its 5 mins by bus from brum city centre where I work, and I wanted to get my villa shirt printed, with Moore. L, 22, and the premiership badges. So I jumped on the bus shirt in hand, got to aston, walked a minute or two and I was there, unfortunately there was quite a long que so I had to wait about twenty minutes but its worth it as at least I got my new shirt with a great players name on the back. Anyway i pop off to the chippy and get a phone call, my mate says he can give me a lift back into the city centre he said he will pick me up at villa park.

So I go back to villa park and sit down on a wall, with those shrubs kinda planted behind them. I delved into my chips and chilli sauce when all of a sudden I felt a prick, so I stood up and I thought it might have been the branch of the bush or a thorn, so sat back down and continued eating.

Five minutes later my mate pulled up, so I jumped in, and i felt something again, I went to brush my trousers to see if I had a thorn sticking in my arse, then I felt something move in my trousers accross my butt cheeks.

To this a shriek of horror follwed (I probably sounded like a women screaming as if someone was about to mug her) but my god the reality had set in.

I had Ants in my pants

I screamed for my mate to pull over, he pulled over on a side street, firstly outside a nursery, I felt this was highly inappropriate so I endured the pain and asked him to continue, he then pulled up in a car park, I jumped out pulled down my trousers and boxers and got rid of the wretched little things that had somehow crawled into my pants. There was one left on the seat of my friends car and the ants were quite large red ants.

Anyway my friend drove me to work, when I got back in I went to the toilet, stripped down to nothing and checked each item of clothing, I then washed my arse and dick just to make sure there were no ants left at all. I then preceded to the office and at the moment im struggling with the mind games that the ants have left. I know they arent there, yet I need to scratch myself a couple of times just to make sure.

God todays lunchtime was eventful.
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 16:56   #2
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Re: Ants in your pants
I feel sorry for the ants. One minute they're playing happily on a wall, the next minute they're crawling around your arse being scratched to death.
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 16:57   #3
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Re: Ants in your pants
your tale of discomfort was quite amusing mr.pig... have some rep for making me laugh


edit : "Your reputation on this post is Extremely Negative."
Last edited by 1-X; 13 Aug 2005 at 13:15.
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 17:56   #4
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Re: Ants in your pants
Ouch, i feel your pain, unfortunately ive been bitten by ants by my circumstances were a bit better in that i wasn't outside

I got attacked by Ants while i was on holiday in Florida. First night in the villa my family rented and i kept aking up duing the night due to pains all over my body, but i kept drifting back off to sleep.

When i finally did wake up i then realised i had been getting attacked by Ants all night long, little buggers had caused me come out in whiteheads everywhere they had bitten, then had to pay the exterminator $50 to sort my room out
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 18:02   #5
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Re: Ants in your pants
Buy some chocolate covered ants and get even.
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Unread 12 Aug 2005, 18:04   #6
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Re: Ants in your pants
Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
I had Ants in my pants
did they make your belly-button dance?
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Unread 13 Aug 2005, 12:57   #7
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Re: Ants in your pants
People say its only the red ants that bite. Its not the black ones do too they're just more sneaky
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Unread 13 Aug 2005, 13:04   #8
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Re: Ants in your pants
hohoho
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Unread 13 Aug 2005, 14:07   #9
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Re: Ants in your pants
When i was visiting the Gold Coast of Australia we went out drinking and got home in time to catch our pre-ordered taxi in the morning at 7am to take us to Sea world. I tried rinsing out my contact lense but whatever was on my hands caused them to sting my eyes and make me in pain for the day. So at sea world, still drunk, in agony and blind with no lenses.

Went to the dolphin show, big crowd of kids etc, and i sat on a ****ing ant hill. I couldnt see them well enough but they were biting me and shit, and i jumped up screaming and swearing and ruining everyones show.

Thats my ant story.
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Unread 13 Aug 2005, 15:22   #10
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Exclamation Re: Ants in your pants
This thread made me fantasise about sex with Adam Ant. Not the Adam Ant of today, you understand, but of 1980.

It's strangely unsatisfying.
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