Planetarion Forums - Is GI Jane the poorest movie ever made?

MrL_JaKiri · 5 May 2004, 17:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson

Who thinks we should make a film about Mark's life, with all the unneccesary harrasment of Mark that such a suggestions implies?

I'm just a soul who's intentions are good, oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood.

Phang · 5 May 2004, 18:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

I'm just a soul who's intentions are good, oh lord please don't let me be misunderstood.

don't you know I'm just human
And I've got thoughts like any other man
And sometimes I feel myself, oh lord, regretting
Some foolish thing, some foolish thing I've done

MrL_JaKiri · 5 May 2004, 18:48

Insert The Seven Million Green Hornets

Phang · 5 May 2004, 18:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

Insert The Seven Million Green Hornets

Rachmaninov himself would be proud

Marilyn Manson · 5 May 2004, 18:52

Christ is King.

MrL_JaKiri · 5 May 2004, 18:52

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phang

Rachmaninov himself would be proud

Mr Al Hirt Jazz.

Phang · 5 May 2004, 18:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

Mr Al Hirt Jazz.

Blue S(h)anzo

MrL_JaKiri · 5 May 2004, 18:59

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phang

Blue S(h)anzo

To get back on topic...

FLYING SAUCERS!

OVER HOLLYWOOD!

Phang · 5 May 2004, 19:01

i challenge you all to find a worse film than american ninja

MrL_JaKiri · 5 May 2004, 19:03

Plan 9 From Outer Space, The Evil Beneath Loch Ness.

Phang · 5 May 2004, 19:08

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

Plan 9 From Outer Space, The Evil Beneath Loch Ness.

yes, but they didnt have 4 sequels

MrL_JaKiri · 5 May 2004, 19:10

Quote:

Originally Posted by Phang

yes, but they didnt have 4 sequels

So?

Phang · 5 May 2004, 19:12

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

So?

the fact that there is an American Ninja 5 makes the existence of American Ninja 1 all that much more insulting

MrL_JaKiri · 5 May 2004, 19:13

It's the same kind of worldview that brings us hentai 'games'

Vermillion · 5 May 2004, 19:29

Please.

Bad though these may be, none of them compare with the holy trinity of truly crapulent movies:

3) Highlander II: No, it was all actually aliens, the plot (literally) does not follow, even editing and continuity are terrible.

2) Hardware: Supposed futuristic horror abotu some kind of tobot with nerve gas poison in its fingers. When it pokes you, the screen shows tesseracts for a while until the audience dies.

(drum roll...)

1) Eve of Destruction: Tap dancer hero chases down high tech robotic human looking woman with an atomic bomb up her ass. No, I am not kidding.

MrL_JaKiri · 5 May 2004, 19:33

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vermillion

Please.

Bad though these may be, none of them compare with the holy trinity of truly crapulent movies:

3) Highlander II: No, it was all actually aliens, the plot (literally) does not follow, even editing and continuity are terrible.

2) Hardware: Supposed futuristic horror abotu some kind of tobot with nerve gas poison in its fingers. When it pokes you, the screen shows tesseracts for a while until the audience dies.

(drum roll...)

1) Eve of Destruction: Tap dancer hero chases down high tech robotic human looking woman with an atomic bomb up her ass. No, I am not kidding.

So Plan 9, a film with a starring cast comprising someone who's died, someone who refuses to speak and someone who doesn't speak english (or at least not understandably) about aliens trying to attack mankind by creating zombies (well, 2 of them at least) so that they don't blow up the sunlight and hence the universe, is better than those?

I think not.

Vermillion · 5 May 2004, 19:45

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

So Plan 9, a film with a starring cast comprising someone who's died, someone who refuses to speak and someone who doesn't speak english (or at least not understandably) about aliens trying to attack mankind by creating zombies (well, 2 of them at least) so that they don't blow up the sunlight and hence the universe, is better than those?

Firstly, Plan 9 from outer space is an Ed Wood film, which is a whole new level of Camp. The movie was god awful, but at least it crossed that line from stupid to at least being amusingly stupid. Sortof like the Terror of Tinytown (Declared by Elwy Yost to be the worst fim ever made).

The three above are beyond laughably funny. They are agonsisingly bad, so bad even you cannot laughg, you just feel sorry for everyone involved.

Phang · 5 May 2004, 19:56

Quote:

Originally Posted by Vermillion

Firstly, Plan 9 from outer space is an Ed Wood film, which is a whole new level of Camp. The movie was god awful, but at least it crossed that line from stupid to at least being amusingly stupid. Sortof like the Terror of Tinytown (Declared by Elwy Yost to be the worst fim ever made).

The three above are beyond laughably funny. They are agonsisingly bad, so bad even you cannot laughg, you just feel sorry for everyone involved.

JUST like American Ninja

MrL_JaKiri · 5 May 2004, 19:56

Try The Evil Beneath Loch Ness, it sounds right up your street.

Tomkat · 6 May 2004, 03:42

I can't believe some of the comments in this thread.

I thought GD was filled with film-geeks who had decent taste?

Mulholland Drive is not an awful film

I'm sorry if you didn't "get" it, but that doesn't make it awful.

A.I. is a beautifully done film also. Admittedly, it is rather long, but I wouldn't say it "dragged on".

About a Boy is also funny. The new Hugh Grant, that isn't a floppy-haired, blubbering idiot in every film he does anymore, pulls off his character very well.

Oh, in reply to the topic. Yes, GI Jane is an abysmal film. I actually saw it at the cinema. It was a first date when I was 15 or so, and I was a horny teen hoping to get some. She went to the toilets halfway through after I was a bit forward, and never came back. ;(

MrL_JaKiri · 6 May 2004, 08:17

AI is a terrible film.

Tomkat · 6 May 2004, 12:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

AI is a terrible film.

I liked it. I <3 Jude Law.

wu_trax · 6 May 2004, 13:31

this was for sure the worst movie i have yet seen. the jokes were just poor and predictable. the story was a joke in itself. it was almost painful to watch the whole thing (and yet, for some strange reason i made it).

i think now i know why i never saw any trailers for it: there simply isn't a single good scene in it that could be used for a trailer.

wu_trax · 6 May 2004, 14:24

it was poor but not the worst movie of all times.

Hostile · 6 May 2004, 15:55

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toccata & Fugue

You Got Served(2004): In order to achieve their dream of opening a recording studio, two friends (Omarion, Houston) must first win their city's dance contest -- a fierce competition that pits them against a group of tough street dancers.

Fried gold.

David Bernal is in that. Ergo its great.

Worst film I ever saw was Starship Troopers 2.

Hostile · 6 May 2004, 16:06

I was expecting something like Starship Troopers 1.

The only time 2 was similar to 1 was when it used footange of the cgi bug attacks from the first film and pretended it was new footage

MrL_JaKiri · 6 May 2004, 16:40

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toccata & Fugue

Well the reviewer guy who was quite positive about it still said it wasn't quite as good as "Honey", so with that ringing endorsement, I'm sure there will be queus around the block for that long awaited DVD release.

Sequels to not particulalry good movies almost all have godawful stamped all over them, what were you expecting from ST2?

Starship Troopers wasn't bad, it just suffered because noone involved knew it was a satire.

Starship Troopers 2 was a straight to video release, and had a budget of about £20,000.

I vote for this, btw

Vermillion · 6 May 2004, 16:51

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hostile

David Bernal is in that. Ergo its great.

Worst film I ever saw was Starship Troopers 2.

There was a starship troopers 2? Why was I not informed?

Mind you, if it was really that bad, perhaps its a god thing I was unaware of it...

Lupin · 6 May 2004, 17:12

this movie is ridicliwoois

roadrunner_0 · 6 May 2004, 18:19

Quote:

Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0256155/

I have the DVD

you cant say anything is crap that made that many people laugh

also, as i read your post and clicked on that link, i already knew what it was going to link to

but i thought it was called 'the evil beneath loch ness'?

roadrunner_0 · 6 May 2004, 18:24

oh, yes, i have thought of a film that is even worse:
tongan ninja
an australian made (???) movie about a fat tongan ninja that, for its england release, has been re dubbed to remove the swearwords! i shit you not you have to see this film justto be amazed by how bad it is :eeek:
it reduced one of my friends to rocking back and forth on the floor in the foetal position

JonnyBGood · 6 May 2004, 18:25

For the record if you ever want to see a film that's so bad it's hilarious find a copy of the 1976 released "night of the lepos".

It's about a bunch of giant bunny rabbits terrorising a small town.

Marilyn Manson · 6 May 2004, 18:28

There wasn't anything evil at all in the loch. Not that I recall. The title was thus terribly misleading.

Mind you, I probably couldn't have indentified myself in a room full of mirrors by the time we watched it.

roadrunner_0 · 6 May 2004, 18:52

we were just a 'tad' drunk that night, in fact, i had forgotten that you were there

although all of a sudden i have a memory of skiddy on a rowing machine :eeek:

Tomkat · 6 May 2004, 18:58

Spiceworld: The Movie was pretty dire.

Marilyn Manson · 6 May 2004, 19:03

All I can remember is Skiddy with a big bottle between his legs.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm.

MrL_JaKiri · 6 May 2004, 19:54

Quote:

Originally Posted by roadrunner_0

but i thought it was called 'the evil beneath loch ness'?

UK release title. Obviously they thought the american market was more likely to have heard of Loch Ness.