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30 Jan 2008, 21:47
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#1
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Aardvark is a funny word
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: I'm No Nino Rota
Posts: 5,923
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in a pub, so is jesus
my local is hosting a Christian Union meeting tonight. it's very loud. i only came for the free wifi (demonstrated here) and fancy cider. They're explaining "let he who is without sin cast the first stone" very slowly to the assembled masses, as if to tiny children. The audience are enraptured.
I want them quiet or in pain.
That's it really. Sup?
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Efficiency, efficiency they say
Get to know the date and tell the time of day
As the crowds begin complaining
How the Beaujolais is raining
Down on darkened meetings on the Champs Élysées
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30 Jan 2008, 21:55
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#2
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I am.
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 6,580
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
mention apollonius of tyana and watch them go blank. Call the christ by his real name Joshua bar Joseph. If pushed refer to him as a well intentioned rabbi who clearly valued the cult of Isis and the cult of Mithras.
If that fails talk about how moses and exodus are clearly just the refugees of Amarna.
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hi
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30 Jan 2008, 21:59
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#3
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deserves a medal
Join Date: Aug 2004
Posts: 1,211
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
Or just set the building on fire. That would be quite a laugh. Unless they won't burn and end up being saved miraculously, then you'll have to comfort yourself with the thought that someone else will in 50 years.
Our local pub burned down some time ago after some bouncers (yes, sad) wouldn't let some people in because they arrived too late (if that's even possible at a pub). Everyone from around knows that the clock they use stands still on a few mins after closing time tho. So it ended up in a fight, with the kids losing ofcourse, and the following morning the pub was gone (haha kids have no sense of humour).
The people that actually burned the building down never got caught. Strange isn't it?
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"I have with me two gods, Persuasion and Compulsion."
Last edited by Alessio; 30 Jan 2008 at 22:41.
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30 Jan 2008, 22:48
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#4
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USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
Nothing like a measured response to a perceived insult.
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Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
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30 Jan 2008, 23:24
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#5
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USS Oklahoma
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,500
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
tried to cover my face with my hands.
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For many individuals, this is the only sensible course of action.
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Ignorance is curable, stupidity is not.
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31 Jan 2008, 10:30
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#6
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mz.
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,587
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
I looked at horn's face, and I understood.
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The outraged poets threw sticks and rocks over the side of the bridge. They were all missing Mary and he felt a contented smug feeling wash over him. He would have given them a coy little wave if the roof hadn't collapsed just then. Mary then found himself in the middle of an understandably shocked family's kitchen table. So he gave them the coy little wave and realized it probably would have been more effective if he hadn't been lying on their turkey.
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31 Jan 2008, 17:08
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#7
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Gone
Join Date: Jan 2001
Posts: 14,656
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
Get drunk and swear very loudly before telling a ludicrously obscene joke about Jeremy Beadle before reminding them that it was their idea to hold the ****ing thing in the pub to begin with.
Also, Phang is a liar.
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31 Jan 2008, 17:28
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#8
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mz.
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,587
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
What post?
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The outraged poets threw sticks and rocks over the side of the bridge. They were all missing Mary and he felt a contented smug feeling wash over him. He would have given them a coy little wave if the roof hadn't collapsed just then. Mary then found himself in the middle of an understandably shocked family's kitchen table. So he gave them the coy little wave and realized it probably would have been more effective if he hadn't been lying on their turkey.
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31 Jan 2008, 17:49
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#9
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 247
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
I can see it. I hadn't heard the expression "EVILution" before. I'm amused.
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31 Jan 2008, 23:43
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#10
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: London
Posts: 3,347
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
The first one is genius, pure genius.
__________________
The 20th century has been characterised by three developments of great political importance. The growth of democracy; the growth of corporate power; and the growth of corporate propaganda as a means of protecting corporate power against democracy.
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8 Feb 2008, 02:16
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#11
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Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Norway
Posts: 295
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
Wtf, are you all on acid?
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Except from being crazy, i'm a picture of good health.
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8 Feb 2008, 10:39
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#12
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mz.
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 8,587
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Re: in a pub, so is jesus
Thread ruined by horn's internet suicide.
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The outraged poets threw sticks and rocks over the side of the bridge. They were all missing Mary and he felt a contented smug feeling wash over him. He would have given them a coy little wave if the roof hadn't collapsed just then. Mary then found himself in the middle of an understandably shocked family's kitchen table. So he gave them the coy little wave and realized it probably would have been more effective if he hadn't been lying on their turkey.
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