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Unread 29 Nov 2005, 14:07   #1
Kurashima
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Sweet Jesus
An Australian, an Irishman and a Scouser are in a bar.

They're staring at another man sat at a table on his own in the corner.

He's so familiar and not recognising him is driving them mad.

They stare and stare, until suddenly the Irishman twigs: " My God,it's Jesus!"

Sure enough, it is Jesus, nursing a pint.

Thrilled they send him over a pint of Guinness, a pint of Fosters and a pint of bitter.

Jesus accepts the drinks, smiles over at the three men and drinks the pints slowly, one after the other!

After he's finished the drinks, Jesus approaches the trio.

He reaches for the hand of the Irishman and shakes it, thanking him for the Guinness.

When he lets go, the Irishman gives a cry of amazement: " My God! The arthritis I've had for 30 years has gone. It's a miracle!"

Jesus then shakes the Aussies hand, thanking him for the lager. As he lets go the mans eyes widen in shock "Strewth mate, the bad back I've had completely all my life has gone. It's a miracle!"

Jesus then approaches the Scouser who knocks over a chair to get away from the Son of God!

"What's wrong my son?" said Jesus.



The Scouser shouts back " Piss off I'm on disability benefit!"
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Unread 29 Nov 2005, 14:09   #2
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Re: Sweet Jesus
Where did you nick it from?

(Good joke btw)
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Unread 29 Nov 2005, 19:16   #3
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Re: Sweet Jesus
Paging myself to thread 188606

Heard it before, but entertaining nonetheless
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Unread 29 Nov 2005, 21:23   #4
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Re: Sweet Jesus
That joke strikes me as extremely unlikely, as the Aussies don't drink Fosters, and it's piss in a glass anyway.
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Unread 29 Nov 2005, 21:47   #5
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Re: Sweet Jesus
The life of the party as always, Mark.
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Unread 29 Nov 2005, 21:50   #6
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Re: Sweet Jesus
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
The life of the party as always, Mark.
That was humour, young one.
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 00:53   #7
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Re: Sweet Jesus
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
That joke strikes me as extremely unlikely, as the Aussies don't drink Fosters, and it's piss in a glass anyway.
All the Australians I know drink Foster's, or agree that it's by far the most popular beer in Ozland...
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 01:02   #8
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Re: Sweet Jesus
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
That joke strikes me as extremely unlikely, as the Aussies don't drink Fosters, and it's piss in a glass anyway.
Which is why they export it
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 01:08   #9
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Re: Sweet Jesus
Quote:
Originally Posted by KraKto$is8
All the Australians I know drink Foster's, or agree that it's by far the most popular beer in Ozland...
Interesting. All the ones I know say the exact opposite.
Apparently British Fosters is a lot more like Australian Crown Lager (or something like that) than Australian Fosters.
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 12:53   #10
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Re: Sweet Jesus
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrL_JaKiri
That was humour, young one.
To clarify, I was doing a self-depreciation gag about my reputation for pedantry, and therefore chose something utterly inconsequential to comment upon, rather than the crux of the joke (the existance of jesus, the chance of him drinking in a bar, what have you).
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 12:58   #11
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Re: Sweet Jesus
so many cunning levels of complexity.
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 13:04   #12
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Re: Sweet Jesus
I was too young, even by Geordie standards, to drink in Australia when I lived there, but the people I've been in contact with drink Vic Bitter mostly.

Me saying all Australians drink that would be a vast generalisation and blatant stereotype, much like the joke itself.

Good one though.
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 17:39   #13
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Re: Sweet Jesus
Any of you lads (hehe I made a funny) drink Shiner?
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 18:12   #14
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Re: Sweet Jesus
google has led me to believe that Victorian Bitter is the best-selling beer in australia. i'm having trouble getting good statistics though, stats that don't really forward any particular political agenda are usually tough to come by.
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 20:16   #15
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Re: Sweet Jesus
My other half spent about 9 months living and working in Australia.

Theres a pub here that does imported VB. She drinks nothing else when she goes there. She says its definetely the most popular beer in Australia. Very few people drink Fosters, as in they tend to buy Stubbies more than Cans.
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Unread 30 Nov 2005, 23:17   #16
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Re: Sweet Jesus
They sell VB in Walkabout.
It's quite nice.
That's all I have to add on the issue.
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Unread 1 Dec 2005, 07:02   #17
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Re: Sweet Jesus
VB isn't really the best beer, so much as the one with the best advertising. The VB tune is more well known than the national anthem.

In fact, it should be the national anthem.

Plus they're giving away a talking David Boon figurine with every case this summer. Boonie drank 52 cans of beer on a plane flight to England once, and although the rest of the details are sketchy, word has it he defeated Mothra, brought democracy to Cuba and photographed Bigfoot before he had to be carried off the plane.
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