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Unread 23 May 2004, 16:07   #1
JammyJim
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Theiving little bastards
TODAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY

the sun is out

its warm


the beach is full of pretty girls wearing little


HOWEVER


i was going to take my dingy out and have a float about on the sea.....can i do this .....


yes i can because i bought one not 3 days ago for a tenner.


BUT IS IT OUTSIDE MY DOOR
oh no


some utter twatting **** has nicked the ****ing thing. My deaf spastic flatmate whos about as hygenic as a ****ing pig is the prime suspect. My italian greesy greek half bred 'mamamia' flatmate is second in the line of suspects.

I am about to go and make the uni network think my retarded flatmates pc is infected with the Sasser virus until i can get more info out of him..


on a side note.

the greasy greek/italian says that he didnt do this but the kitchen is an utter shit tip. Somone has ripped the net curtains and a pie was thrown against the door.
Once more the deaf retarded **** of human being is suspect numero uno.


IF he did take the dingy for a quick paddly whilst drunk last night i hope he fell in and has drifted half way to ireland on his back with his hearing aid sizzling from contact with the water and no hope of rescue.


I WILL HAVE MY VENGANCE.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 16:09   #2
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Re: Theiving little bastards
What's a dingy?
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Unread 23 May 2004, 16:10   #3
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Re: Theiving little bastards
You can't let something like that pass, a savage beating and/or murder is the only thing to do.

That or tie him to the dinghy, put a rope on it and put it out about a hundred yards to sea, and leave him there in the baking sun for a couple of days.

That'll **** him.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 16:12   #4
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Re: Theiving little bastards
An inflatable boat
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Unread 23 May 2004, 16:16   #5
JammyJim
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Re: Theiving little bastards
http://i24.ebayimg.com/01/i/01/d6/f7/1f_1_b.JPG

it looked A BIT like that but the colours are all wrong
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Unread 23 May 2004, 16:34   #6
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Re: Theiving little bastards
it wasnt the greeks or itaillians or the deaf! It was the asians
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Unread 23 May 2004, 16:52   #7
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Re: Theiving little bastards
i just 'acquired' a new dingy.


hm...
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Unread 23 May 2004, 17:25   #8
JammyJim
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Re: Theiving little bastards
if it was you i will hunt you down and kill you
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Unread 23 May 2004, 17:53   #9
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Re: Theiving little bastards
Why do you live with people who piss you off and you hate?
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Unread 23 May 2004, 18:51   #10
JammyJim
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Re: Theiving little bastards
I FOUND IT


it had been thrown out of the window down into the basement alley thing.

however

some mother****ing cock sucking **** ****er slashed it with a knife

a slash so big that i cant even repair it.




i will have my revenge
i dont know who did it but i think its the italian or one of his foreign friends who should go study in their own backwater of a country.



shame he has such a nice car with big old tyres.

shame i have a screwdriver and am pissed off.

not that id do anything.
oh no.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 18:52   #11
JammyJim
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Re: Theiving little bastards
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
Why do you live with people who piss you off and you hate?

i didnt ask to be put with them. they were assigned to me. next year im living with gf and a mate. hopefully we will get decent people with us who dont go around talking with stupid shit accents and have no respect for anything not their own.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 18:52   #12
JammyJim
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Re: Theiving little bastards
oh and were going to report him about the kitchen so he can wave ta ta to whatever remains of his deposit.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 20:03   #13
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Re: Theiving little bastards
you need to deal with that anger man.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 20:39   #14
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Re: Theiving little bastards
*checks time of JJ's post*

I'm pretty sure he probably has by now.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 21:03   #15
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Re: Theiving little bastards
oh hush :P

you gonna be around in sheffield from sept or so ?
i -may- situation dependant, be up doncaster way for a while after july.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 21:27   #16
JammyJim
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Re: Theiving little bastards
soon.

im still undecided.

thers alot of food in the fridge....and boots is round the corner. i may just wait till later in the week

revenge is a dish best served cold etc.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 21:34   #17
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Re: Theiving little bastards
tbh if i was drunk and saw a dingy i would probably steal it - i wouldnt slash it though, ruins all the fun you could have.

also you should grass him up so he loses his deposit
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Unread 23 May 2004, 21:53   #18
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Re: Theiving little bastards
i have two big knives.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 22:11   #19
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Re: Theiving little bastards
*lols at JJs blatant racism*
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Unread 23 May 2004, 22:17   #20
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Re: Theiving little bastards
Quote:
Originally Posted by NEWSBOT3
you gonna be around in sheffield from sept or so ?
i -may- situation dependant, be up doncaster way for a while after july.
Yeah I'll be here. (I assume you meant me!)
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Unread 23 May 2004, 22:40   #21
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Re: Theiving little bastards
aye

i cant guarantee my location, i need to get a job and that could be anywhere, but i have my mum up donny way, so i guess i'll be around there at some point
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Unread 23 May 2004, 22:55   #22
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Re: Theiving little bastards
BREAKING NEWS


Operation "slash zorba corelleoni's tyres" is a no go.


Intelligence from our wonderful evangelical flatmate confirms original rumours it was the deaf ****.

Turns out that after unsucessfully trying to make friends with zorba corleonis mates he came home ina rage and quite possibly slashed everything in sight and threw a bit of a fit.

simba never lies so presumably this is whats happened.

so

plan b requires laxatives and pizzas..


will let you know how it goes



p.s. hes also stolen food from us in the past..

oh and he has a giant exercise ball in his room. shame if that got slashed too
so many inflatable things about this flat

sigh
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Unread 23 May 2004, 23:49   #23
KaneED
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Re: Theiving little bastards
hey, just smuggle the ball out and bring it to me, i want one of those things!

we never met. i'm sad.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 23:51   #24
Dante Hicks
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Re: Theiving little bastards
Does everyone at your Uni have psychotic flat mates, or is just you two who have got "lucky" in two seperate cases?
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Unread 23 May 2004, 23:53   #25
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Re: Theiving little bastards
Maybe he thought he could borrow and return it before you noticed it was missing - that way it wouldnt actually have been theft since you wouldnt be denied its use.
Last edited by Nodrog; 23 May 2004 at 23:59.
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Unread 23 May 2004, 23:54   #26
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Re: Theiving little bastards
oh about that, i said sorry for being a wanker to him and he was like "sorry for threatening to have you killed" but he then said "if you do treat someone like that again...(insinuations etc)" and i was like

uh! just apologised. took a lot to swallow my pride and accept my twatiness now you tell me this when you threaten peoples lives and don't expect to be reprimanded in any form.

well ho ho



GOD SHALL REPRIMAND YE SINNER. YES. THE ALMIGHTY SHALL.



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Unread 23 May 2004, 23:55   #27
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Re: Theiving little bastards
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
Maybe he thought he could borrow it and return it before you noticed it was missing - that way it wouldnt actually have been theft since you wouldnt be denied its use.
Yeah, it'd have been taking and sailing away.

roflol
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Unread 24 May 2004, 00:23   #28
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Exclamation Re: Theiving little bastards
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Originally Posted by JammyJim
so many inflatable things about this flat
Now that's comedy!
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Unread 24 May 2004, 00:42   #29
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Re: Theiving little bastards
It's ok after September I get to live with my D&D dungeon in a 4 bedroom house (including the DM kakaka).

Btw this is the most dysfunctional D&D group ever.
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