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Unread 24 May 2005, 04:43   #1
Nusselt
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unwanted advances from a female

A woman is throwing herself at me, i don't want her, i can't just tell her to **** off as it'll have repurcussions on the rest of the friend network. She keeps flirting with me* shes a bit of a psychopath or appears to be. What do i do? shes 32-33 yrs old im not exactly sure which, and shes the sister of a friend and noone knows this is happening. She can be a complete and utter bitch and is one of those women who once scorned will do everything to destroy you.

Ive come up with

a) do nothing, play dead and hope she moves on to another victim when bored
b) **** her and be damned at the consequences**
c) tell her to **** off and to hell with what happens***
d) discreetly**** put her down every chance i get



* ive done nothing to encourage her this is out of the blue, i may have made her laugh a few times but jesus that was all, she grabs my arm laughs at everything i say invades my personal space talks to me when i want to stay quiet. Short of having a sign '**** me now' shes done everything to make it known.

** nightmare scenarios are pregnancy (eeeek) or some sort of psycho bitch who mates with me for life

*** possible social problems, risk alienation and escalation or not? she is a bitch everyone knows she is a bitch so theres a good chance people would understand when she calls me a paedophile or something

**** not very, call her idiot and stupid etc, eventually she'll go away.

after a lifetime of being the hunter ive become hunted and im frozen in the headlights.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 04:57   #2
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Try to 'inadvertently' put her off. Fart and burp a lot. Be insensitive. Be a bit sexist or racist. People who know you will know it isn't the real you, fk anyone else (except her, haha!).
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Unread 24 May 2005, 05:01   #3
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

I think GD's advice in this area can usually be summed up in the words "her" "the" "corpse" "and" "bury" "rape".

However in an attempt to defy tradition I'm going to go with "tell her you have syphilis".
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Unread 24 May 2005, 05:54   #4
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

fk her, then tell her you have syphillis
at least then you'd have gotten laid

and that's all that matters right?
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Unread 24 May 2005, 06:25   #5
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

aids
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Unread 24 May 2005, 07:13   #6
SilverSmoke
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Act all manly and macho (maybe in a slightly humourous way), and show her your ego loves the attention but be sure she also knows that you're just playing with her.

She'll get tired of you pretty fast. It's what I would do.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 08:01   #7
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

sleep with one of her friends
Everyone* wins


*you
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Unread 24 May 2005, 08:08   #8
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by Apothos
... Be a bit sexist or racist...
Yeah the thing is if she likes Nusselt that much her rational mind will have turned itself off long ago and she'll still like Nusselt even if he acts like a complete prick; Women.

I am in a similar situation. I have isolated myself from that friendship group, I can't say I'm missing a lot anyway. She knows I'm avoiding her and will do my upmost to not talk to her or be in her company. It really hasn't helped. She's knows I'm not interested and won't make explict moves (much). But she's still there, biding her time, making subtle comments.

I suggest leaving the country. Or, go about wiping all your friends memories of all the relations they have with each other in order to start afresh. Oh, and move these people in to different physical locations so they can't make the same mistake again by becoming friends with each other. It's kind of a clean-slate philosophy.

Last edited by Weeks; 24 May 2005 at 08:31.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 08:08   #9
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Nothing will get the message across to her quite like having another girlfriend.

Or get someone to pretend to be until the schizo ****s off.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 08:10   #10
Weeks
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Oh, Phalon wins.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 08:19   #11
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Apothos has the right idea. Any quips towards her and she'll be talking shit about you behind your back.

If you want to turn her off without pissing her off, be as unattractive and boring as possible. Start talking about weather reports or the latest economic reforms, and steer any conversation you have with her towards philosophical debate. If that doesn't work then you can start ignoring her, but you definitely don't want to overtly fukk with someone who's psychotic.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 08:25   #12
Weeks
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

If she's psychotic see won't respond to the normal 'for the love of the sweet lord above just leave me alone' approach by trying to put her off.

Only another woman can fight this. It's like hiring giraffe to protect you from another giraffe. This will work unless the giraffe you don't want is nastier than your protector giraffe. In that case all hope is lost. Game over, you've had a good life, don't look back in anger.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 09:56   #13
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

i was going to say...
you need another woman.......


however I honestly dont see whats wrong with a bit of ego massaging. Its rare it happens so enjoy while i lasts i guess.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 10:25   #14
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by JammyJim


however I honestly dont see whats wrong with a bit of ego massaging. Its rare it happens so enjoy while i lasts i guess.
Yeah exactly, I never had problems with some woman obsessing over me (till a certain point), no matter how unactractive. I am a narcist of the highest order though.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 10:42   #15
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phalon
Nothing will get the message across to her quite like having another girlfriend.
Or a boyfriend, that would work even better, I imagine.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 10:43   #16
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Just tell her you're a batty boy.

Then mince about for the rest of your life to make it look convincing
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Unread 24 May 2005, 11:14   #17
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Tell her you're addicted to asterisks (as you apparently are).

That'll warn the harlot off.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 11:43   #18
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

play dead, thats what i always do
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:01   #19
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

just ignore her, totally
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:04   #20
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Bury her and rape the corpse.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:09   #21
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
Bury her and rape the corpse.
Leshy needs a job and a girlfriend*










*that's what it says when i put my mouse over your rep.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:35   #22
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

take her out for a meal and ask her all about her mother.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:37   #23
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Nusselt,

This is so simple. To do what I suggest you must be totally comitted from the start. You can't back out half way (no pun intended)

Simply ride the bejaysus out of her. Go into the office the next day and make up the worst possible shit about her, warty fanny, puss ridden minge bag, so stretchy that you could have stuck your head up there without her noticing, I'm sure you can think of some and go tell the office gossip.

You have gotten your sex, and revenge for putting you in this awkward situation.

The alternative is to suffer.

tsm
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:42   #24
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheShadowMan
Nusselt,

This is so simple. To do what I suggest you must be totally comitted from the start. You can't back out half way (no pun intended)

Simply ride the bejaysus out of her. Go into the office the next day and make up the worst possible shit about her, warty fanny, puss ridden minge bag, so stretchy that you could have stuck your head up there without her noticing, I'm sure you can think of some and go tell the office gossip.

You have gotten your sex, and revenge for putting you in this awkward situation.

The alternative is to suffer.

tsm


You're an utter idiot, sorry don't internet threat me.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:48   #25
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Why does Toccata & Fugue's post show up as being made by me with my avatar?

And where is my post?
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:49   #26
JonnyBGood
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
Why does Toccata & Fugue's post show up as being made by me with my avatar?

And where is my post?
Are you insane?
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:50   #27
TheShadowMan
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
You're an utter idiot, sorry don't internet threat me.
hypocrite
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:55   #28
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Are you insane?
one word:


Jersey.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 12:58   #29
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Just tell her you want her everytime you see her..
follow her closely.. 3 inches away from her face.. while staring in her eyes
and keep repeating yourself obsessively

For example
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Unread 24 May 2005, 13:01   #30
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverSmoke
You're an utter idiot, sorry don't internet threat me.
In this post we remember that Silversmoke once internet threatened to beat up koen in real life.



(We also criticise me for taking so many shots at silversmoke )
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Unread 24 May 2005, 13:11   #31
SilverSmoke
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

ah yeah, shit, forgot about that
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Unread 24 May 2005, 13:14   #32
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Press ur forehead really hard against her head when she gets close and laugh
Just bite her tongue a few times
Pinch her tits really hard
its a win win situation
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Unread 24 May 2005, 13:16   #33
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alessio
Just tell her you want her everytime you see her..
follow her closely.. 3 inches away from her face.. while staring in her eyes
and keep repeating yourself obsessively

For example

You go to Lancaster University? I used to go there!

What college?
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Unread 24 May 2005, 13:17   #34
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChubbyChecker
You go to Lancaster University? I used to go there!

What college?
Nah I googled that pic, im from the Netherlands
(I bet that suprises noone)
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Unread 24 May 2005, 13:17   #35
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

hmm.. i like the get a gf idea better.
win win
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Unread 24 May 2005, 13:32   #36
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by Alessio
Nah I googled that pic, im from the Netherlands
(I bet that suprises noone)
I was extremely surprised.

And shocked.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 14:56   #37
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Are you insane?
I think there's something up with the computers at this school. I'm using Firefox.

It sometimes just shows my posts as blank, or as someone else having written them.

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Unread 24 May 2005, 14:59   #38
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tomkat
I think there's something up with the computers at this school. I'm using Firefox.

It sometimes just shows my posts as blank, or as someone else having written them.

Do you have yourself on ignore?
Because that would be funny.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 15:04   #39
Richie987
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

3 Simple words.


I AM GAY.


You'll be sorted
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Unread 24 May 2005, 15:07   #40
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Exclamation Re: unwanted advances from a female

I don't think I've ever had a woman come onto me who wasn't drunk.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 15:18   #41
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Believe it or not I have spent a lot of my life being pursued by people of various genders and ages.

Here's how I cope.

I have a 'stock phrase' and good friends.

You teach your friends to respond when they hear your stock phrase.

Mine is "that's very kind of you to say"

For Instance:

Slightly tipsy heavily maked 50 year old woman is running her hand through my hair and telling me what a beautiful singing voice i have. "that's very kind of you to say"
My bestfriend who is some 4m away chatting to young attractive women instantly turns around and says to me "you really have to meet 'so and so'"

problem averted.

find a friend you trust who will be around at the same time as this woman.

train them well.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 15:24   #42
SilverSmoke
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

You sound frustrated.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 18:54   #43
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I don't think I've ever had a woman come onto me who wasn't drunk.
The opposites to this statement make my brain want to go blind.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 19:00   #44
acropolis
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Obvious solution is to just drop the "I really only live for blowjobs and anal sex" in a conversation at some point.

for the win/win

tbh, the soutions i've used:
1. Move away
2. Use her to massage your ego until she moves away (works best when you know she's moving in a week or two)
3. Give her your phone number then never answer your phone again (this works better in the age of caller ID than it did back in the day)
4. Start a relationship with her
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Unread 24 May 2005, 19:30   #45
G.K Zhukov
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

If she is REALLY annoying I suggest you tell her a that your ghey (but dont tell anyone etc).

I got the same problem, with a woman who's like 30, but I just try to not meet her that often.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 21:44   #46
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Nantoz is a lesbian caught in a man's body.

For **** sake, how many times must he link his picture before you understand he's male?
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Unread 24 May 2005, 22:02   #47
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

do what all real men do in a situation like this.

hide.
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Unread 24 May 2005, 22:04   #48
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Ive decided not to heed anyones advice ('cept may be idler and t&f). Im not confronting this woman, shes my idea of absolute hell. Shes basically the typical ultra domineering wanna-stay-young-forever psychopathic bottle blonde type. If i touch her in anyway i will never escape. Her brother lives down the road from me, if he ever moves ill tell her to go **** herself until then ican't as i sometimes need his services (his car MM not his penis before you ask). Im not the type to act like a complete bastard towards a person and like weeks says it won't have any effect. Im semi isoloating myself from that entire situation, i can pretty much ignore her if i don't go out with certain people, which is what im going to do.

Id always wondered what it'd be like to have someone throw themselves at you, and its not very ****ing nice. When people grab your arm slip theirs between yours and hold on with a vice like grip, or come right up to your face and start laughing at anything you say or stare at you in a mental way you want to run and hide. She wants to suck at my fountain of youth
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Sophie is hotter than you
though ive gone off her now; the way Susanna Reid squirms around on sml is, however, awesome
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Unread 24 May 2005, 22:36   #49
DukePaul
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Join Date: Nov 2001
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

Guess you should make a thread named "wanted attention from males"
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Unread 24 May 2005, 22:44   #50
G.K Zhukov
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Re: unwanted advances from a female

So Nussult, in this group of people, isnt there someone you could talk to about the problem? Someone you knows want tell anyone etc?
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<Germania>but you called Fury a bully, and that is terribly unfair
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