Chav Towns

[Madina]

http://www.chavtowns.co.uk - OK this site may be old to you but I only got told about it tonight. Here is what someone has written about my town and its very accurate.

So please post a link to what someone has written about your town (from the site) and say if its accurate etc.

Ta

[JC]

SlapaChav _WRITES "Blackburn, its full of them, full of the little FAke Burburry wearing, three stripe hogging, socks in pants scrubbers and Rockport wearing scum.

Yes I used the word FAKE as in Blackburn the Chavs are so Downmarket they wear fake stuff they don't drive Souped up Saxos they prefer to go for the good old Nova.

In Blackburn once nice places are now being overridden by Chavs so they are multiplying faster than the teenage pregnancy rate allows so no longer are they confined to Higher Croft and Shad areas of town.

The piss poor excuse of a Town Centre is chav paradise with perhaps the biggest TJ Hughes you will ever see and as the good shops close the Pound shops open with half price sales for our Chav citizens. Blackburn Towncentre provides many benches for Chavs and Wineos alike, all of which love to hang around in big intimidating groups.

Walk to McDonalds at 2pm in the afternoon and you will find the younger chavs bunking off School and harassing people for money so they can go buy themselves a cheeseburger or use the public phone box to try and crank call one of the shops they have been moved on from.

So if you want to go out in Blackburn in the Evening you can catch a Bus more than likely if you are a Chav you will take a varient of the Number 4 which comes from Higher Croft or the Number 1 which comes from Accrington or Darwen. You get on the bus and the windows and seats are scrawled with Johnny D Loves Bekki or somthing along the lines of Kev is Gay call 01254 ******.

Once you are in town you can go to many chav Bars such as Marleys or The T Bar for Club life we currently have Jumpin Jaks or the Utopia also known as the CAV as that is what it was called 30 years ago. If you are Underage you can always go Never Never Land which is the ultimate nightspot but be warned don't look at any females as some skinny chav loser will start with his fight call 'Are You Looking at My Bird?' and the only thing you can come back with is 'no' why you ask, because you can't say 'Yeah, she looks like a slapped arse'.

That nearly it for this dogshithole it however has one redeeming feature its not Burnley"

Well the last sentance is perfect.

Whoever wrote this doesnt seem to realise that Never Never Land is a gay club not a chav club. He's write about the world's biggest TJ Hughes though.

[arbondigo]

"I would like to welcome you to the 'Fragrant Shithole' that is Shitingbourne. Home to a population of about 80% chav, with the rest being made up of grungers/goths/old people. Quite possibly the only town with good transport links to those chav meccas of Shitness on Sea and Chavham, it has the distinction of being quite possibly the only small town to have not one, but THREE branches of McDonalds. They range from mildly respectable (Mill Way) to complete shithole (Bobbing/High St). All 3 have a large base of chavs dining there, from the infant school mini chav to the retirement home 'spandex crew'. The local night life, imaginatively named 'nitelife' or preferably 'shitelife', is where the 11 to 18 yr old chav finds a wealth of other chavs (about 250-500 apparently). However, the 11 to 18 yr old chav is split up into sub groups, from the educated chav (with a borden grammar school or highsted education), middle chav (fulston manor/westlands education), lower chav (sittingbourne community centre or shitingbourne crime centre either is true), neutral (those who don't class themselves as chavs) and the dreaded pikeys. Pikeys live in caravans, Quinton or Beirut (Middletune Av area for those who don't know) they are more violent than your average chav, but much less intelligent. They come from Sheppey mainly, but seem to be spreading more into Sittingbourne. Also, Sittingbourne is split in 2 by the main road through there. To the south, you get every single non chav, whereas in Milton Regis (technically the north) every single chav lives and breeds.
But, by far the most defining feature of chavdom in shitingbourne is the glorious (and aforementioned) Shitingbourne Crime Centre (SCC). I can't describe this shithole, but viewing is strongly recommended.
I leave you with a delightful quote:
"If Sheppey is Pikey Island, Chatham is Pikey City, Rainham is Pikey Village, Gillingham is Pikey Town, then Sittingbourne is the ****ing pikey capital"
Goodnight."

Pretty accurate, though it's nowhere near as bad as the Medway towns, ie Chatham, Gillingham and Rainham. Apparently i'm an educated chav Though i was smart enough to move away from there, new town isn't on there so thought i'd chuck my old one in.

[TheBerk]

"In my many years of working around the country I have never encountered somewhere so chavved-up as Kidderminster (Worcestershire).

Unfortunately I happen to work in a building above the local "Social" so a chav is never far away. The police are called at least once a week when a chav is refused their "giro" and starts to smash the place up.

Chavs can be found throughout the town with hotspots at Weaver's Wharf (JJB Sports), Bull Ring (The "Social") and Vicar Street (various chav retailers). The chav population is currently increasing exponentially (some parts of Kidderminster can't receive a TV signal) and a healthy grouping of Silver Chavs are present in the locality."

hhmm, another fair visitor to my town has realised what a dump the place is....

to quote rik mayall 'everyone knows that kidderminster is the biggest shithole in the world'

[1-X]

every town is a chav town and everyone thinks their chavs are the worst

insert selection of cliches

[Marilyn Manson]

Originally Posted by reg_varney

Stockton-On-Tees (Sin City)

reg_varney _WRITES Stockton-On-Tees, the piss soaked pants of Teesside. The streets are paved with shit in this lovely town.

Stockton can boast the widest high street in the UK as well as being the birth place of the inventor of the friction match. In 1989 "The Mall" nightclub was voted the best nightclub in the UK.

Now the wide highstreet allows the twice weekly market traders to sell a myriad of kwality tat and almost rotten fruit and veg to the masses of flip-flop shoe'd, 9 carat gold garnished, mark one attired female inhabitants of Stockton. The male members are even smarter, I'm surprised these simians are capable of dressing themselves. Again hook-a-duck quality bling, watches from the tuppeny falls (won at the nearby apocalyptic seaside town of Redcar) muscle vests, Boro shirts and your typical low quality adidas tracksuits. I wish someone would tell these people that nike air maxes were smart trainers 10 years ago. the chavs staple diet consists of burgers from the rat van and greggs dummies for the toddlers. The elderly population and those too corpulent to physically walk run around in these electric chariots getting in the way of any normal sane human being who for some god awful reason has chosen to visit on market day.

On a non market day you can walk up the high street and all you will see is pound and charity shops empty units and pubs selling cheap drink. Chav's/chavettes bouncing around with armfulls of shopping from the local netto/heron in one hand and (of course) the nokia in the other.5 kids in tow each carrying a greggs bag with a sausage roll in it. Old timers ranting on how it was in the halcyon days pushing around those shopping trolleys. Crazy bastards screaming and shouting to themselves about nothing in particular. Drug addled chav's ripped to the tits sparked out and quasi-tramps adorning the street furniture.
Walk past the infamous and omnipresent wetherspoons pub and witness street fighting at its most hilarious and inebriated, women yes women fighting at one in the afternoon usually about "aaar lad" (her partner) no doubt he's been putting it about a bit. The mind boggles as to why, surely one boot ugly chavette is enough for any cretin.

Other highlights are Teesside Park a chav haven on weekend.Taking in the latest hollywood blockbuster or a game of ten pin bowling followed by a pizza at the on-site pizza hut. the less financially endowed chav (90% of them) are there croozin (meaning parked up smoking low quality cigarettes and indulging in death strength cider) in their barrymobiles talking loudly about how their £100 piece of shit car could see off a porsche 911 no worries with their equally as odious fake burberry hatted nike tracksuited associates. But I digress.

Nights out round the town are an experience. The once famous "The Mall" has deteriorated int a nest for chavs/chavettes who aren't tagged and on a court curfew getting smashed on overpriced lager and tart fuel. The chavs are decked out in "armani and navy", chavettes as little as possible usually something nice off a market stall. Dress to depress is the key. The pinnacle of the Stockton experience is throwing out time. Reminds me of the scene out of "big trouble in little china" where the two rival gangs are knocking the life out of each other. Round 'kebab corner' for a pizza or parmo and invariably watch yet another fight and hop into a taxi.

Stockton-On-Tees is etched in my memory forever

I hope you never have to experience it.

That's Stockton.

[Blastoderm]

I don't think they have Hackney in there.

[Ste]

Amazingly Nottingham isn't on there.
but 4 entries for sheffield... (luckily all parts I avoid anyway)
I used to work here:

"Meadowhall. What an inspiration to the city this place was when it first opened in 1989. That was until a species of 'human being' took it over for themselves. The Chav. For all of us unfortunate enough to have entered this chav-ridden, God-forsaken, pikey-infested shithole, you will easily be able to identify what I mean.

It gets hot in Meadowhall, too hot. And being hot, claustrophobic, and surrounded by chavs is the worst combination, because they reek of common, council house dwelling smeg. All around you there are horrendously freckled, ginger, filthy single mothers with second hand prams and half-caste babies writhing around in them. These species of chavette 'mutha' are far from sympathetic, telling their six month old chavlings to 'shurrupwillye?!' Charming.

Their humongous bright plastic earings, and fake gold chains round their leatherette, cracked, wrinkly necks are a repulsive sight. Of course, they all don their three-quarter length peddle pushers with the chav trademark pull strings at the bottom, so you can see their monstrous foot-tatoos, and a fake Burberry cap with a Le Coq Sportif jacket.

The male chav is no better. An obvious thug, always with a throbbing temple and puce in colour, this grease monkey walks around sporting the latest Sheffield Wednesday strip, with his gorilla arms ready for a fight like some wild animal. Well, thats hardly surprising is it?

Leaving Meadowhall is the most interesting thing one can see a chav family do. Deep down in their twisted hearts, or other appropriate organ, they know that they're going back to a shitty fleapit council house/flat/landfill site. The chav young are obviously more sensitive to it, though they soon harden up, because just as they set out to go back, they scream in a common, COMMON, disgusting accent, "iwannagoforafookinmacdonalds!" The chavette mutha will scream quite embarrasingly loud, "meanyedadavjustbought300fookingciggies, wedontavenoughmoneyyeungratefullittlebastardyer!"

The chavling already showing the aggressive signs of what he is going to grow up to be begins a tirade of cursing, as the chav family cross the car park to their last-times X reg Ford Escort, which used to be white, but now has a blue wing, red door, and hand brush-painted bonnet, presumably to go home and watch some ITV shit on the telly."

[pyirt]

It`s true what the article says about Bristol. I used to know some of the places mentioned, oh!
The bit about the "can of Tennants" and the pram is a classic one.
http://www.chavtowns.co.uk/modules.p...rticle&sid=630

[Ephor]

Belfast

Relatively sound, but it's easier living here if you're known around your neighbourhood - I can't imagine why someone from England would come here to live though.