Conviction
It seems to me that conviction is the single scariest and most damaging thing to deal with, in every day life, in relationships, in politics.
While it is undoubtedly life affirming to be so sure in yourself, or so sure in a belief that you're willing to do any of the below (just three examples) :
a/ die for for it
b/ base your knowledge of the world around it
c/ presume alternatives are wrong, or are temptations to lead you astray
Its not hard to see why people hold conviction so dear. Fear of death, loneliness or isolation, a search for some sort of life purpose, foolish ideas that its possible to can right or wrong. Im not just talking about religion either, conviction over personal issues is just as worrying. Are you sure you really love that person, or have you just repeated it to yourself so many times that you're incapable of thinking anything else? Are you really sure that you believe the propaganda that comes out your mouth?
The end of conviction is just as damaging though. Finding out you have nothing to say, finding out the novel you've been intending to write for so long is basically the rehash of a Grisham with a few personal experiences thrown in for good measure, finding out your love is based on fear or jealousy.
Its actually quite incredible the control we have over our own minds, programming ourselves to follow a course of action, preferring to believe we have a mission, rather than living in confusion and chaos.
Conviction is one of the few things you could say Bush, Stalin, Ghandi, Hitler, Hobbes, Arafat, my mate dave who is sure he's the world best guitarist have in common. In some cases it can be a harmless goal (like the spread of global authoritarian communism) and some cases it can be catastrophic (like the cover of sweet child of mine i heard last night). How can you reason with someone who already has a mindset?
I understand why, and how, and believe me, im not above conviction either - if i was, i wouldnt believe in anything (such as that i'm a great cook, or that Sunderland are getting relegated this year) - but its just difficult for me to comprehend such surity in my current state of mind.
I wish i could be that sure about anything again.
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[16:09] <eJohn> im still standing
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