Mama-chan and Papa-chan

[s|k]

When your life partner is from another, drastically different culture, you pick up on some things that stand out from expected norms. This true of Ayako and I. I have noticed one thing in particular that I wanted to share with you guys. I studied anthropology of Hawai'i and Japan there's this whole thing about contextual identity I can go into, but I just want to show you how as my relationship with Ayako has changed, so have our names. It's a Japanese thing.

Ayako and Bjorn

When Ayako and I first met (I was her resident assistant in the university dorms in Hawai'i), I called her Ayako and she called me Bjorn. A little over a year later the names remained the same as we dated. Once Ayako moved in with me she stared calling me 'Bjorn-o.' Now a lot of couples have 'pet names' but it's different for Japanese, people actually have different names with different people depending on their relationship. 'Bjorn-o' I think was a pet name.

Ayako-chan and Bjorn-kun

A few months to a year after being together, Ayako started referring to me as 'Bjorn-kun.' The -kun suffix applies to familiar, related boys. So I started calling her 'Ayako-chan' and 'Aya-chan,' the -chan is for girls and for very familiar, close family members. This continued for the next two years.

Mama-chan and Papa-chan.

After Ayako and I came back from Japan, where I met her family, she started calling me 'Papa-chan.' She also began to refer to herself in the third person as 'Mama-chan' and I've started calling her that too. I've also started to refer to myself in the third person while speaking to her. I'll tell her 'Papa-chan has to go to work,' and the like. We also, because of our dog and cat, sort of see ourselves as a family and I think that also let to the change to mama-chan and papa-chan.

It's interesting to reflect back on it and see how the relationship and the names have evolved over time. I wonder what's next.