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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 05:58   #1
jt25man
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A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

Today I took my wife to the funeral of one of her friends. She died on Monday from cancer a week before her 28th birthday. Before I begin to tell about my wonderful day, I have to give at least some back story.

Her friend Shorty knew she had cancer for quite a while, and was even getting medicine to treat it (and no I didn't find out what type), but then about six months ago she hooked up with a charming fellow that decided to use the money for her medication to go out boozing and other things that essentially deprived her of the opportunity to actually beat the illness and get on with her life. More back story I found out today is that she's from let's say an afluent upbringing and her parents and most of her relatives may not be filthy rich, but they get by better than most. I could tell this by the cars they were driving. Meanwhile the boyfriend's family are driving the beat up cars, and my favorite was the mini-van with the missing window covered by plastic and duct tape, which on the other side had pictures of the girl in a collage, and of course the kids were wearing t-shirts with "We'll miss you Aunt Shorty," at the top, and her name at the bottom, of course with the boyfriend's last name, because 2 weeks ago while she was in the hospital and pretty much knew she wouldn't make it, his family apparently coerced her into marrying him so they could get all her stuff, and then be able to get away with the showboating that went on at the furneral.

So, my wife and I leave early this morning to go to her friend's house so that we could all carpool to the funeral. Her friend's live-in boyfriend is best friend's with Shorty's exhusband, so he was coming with us also. Naturally, this is the second time I've ever met her friend and the live-in boyfriend, and never met the other people. So what's my wife do, she suggests that I ride with the boys, and she'll ride with the girls.

This is where it gets interesting, and the hillbilly aspect comes in. The girls take off down the highway to get there as fast as they can, meanwhile I'm stuck with the two old drinking buddies who decide to take the back roads and go as slow as possible to see how many beers they can knock back on the way there, and of course they're chain smoking. I'm sitting in the back getting nauseous from the second hand smoke and the smell of the beer.

So we finally get there, and the women have been there half an hour, went and got flowers and come back. My wife naturally wants to go by a set of roses when I get there and first thing she does is tell me to give her money (this is kind of a fun aside to the story). She bought new shoes for the funeral yesterday, and they're high heels and killing her feet, so she takes them off to walk to the florist, puts them on to go inside, then takes them off for the walk back. We go inside and give the one rose to the girl's mother, and sit down before realizing the service doesn't start for an hour, so we go back outside and my wife decides that the shoes are killing her and puts her green flip-flops back on.

The service was real nice, and I got pinched a few times from nodding off from lack of sleep last night and not feeling well from the wonderful trip over there. The church they attended was in a nice little afluent lake town, with nice houses and a cute little golf course. The drive to the cemetary was slow and took about 20 minutes with the guys knocking back another beer hoping the police escort doesn't notice them. The graveyard service was short and we went back to the church for dinner. The church people and the girl's family sat on one side, and the new hubby and his family took over the other. The anticipated fight between the ex and the current husband didn't happen, and everyone was civil and kept there peace. I was glad that my wife didn't start anything like she wanted to, because I told her I wasn't bailing her out of jail if she did.

Anywho, naturally the trip home the boys knocked back a few more, and chain smoked. This time they threw in a little twist, they stopped in the middle of one of the back roads and got out to each take a piss, one stood at the back and peed in the road, and the other stood at the front and peed into the corn field. At this point the only thing keeping me from laughing really hard was the fact that I was starting to get a headache from the wonderful odors of cigarrette and beer. The ex-husband was happy that one of the church people told us that they were trying to get the marriage annulled due to the fact it was done in the hospital, and more than likely the girl was under duress.

If you're wondering why I'm posting this, it's mainly two reasons, first being that I can't believe that this guy would use the money for her medication on booze and who knows what else, and second because I've never seen such attitude/behaviour at a funeral before. My wife told me that at her friend's dad's wedding last year all the guys were outside drinking it up too.

So my question is, is this a common thing, drinking at funerals, or is anyone else shocked or surprised that people do this?
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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 11:21   #2
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
then about six months ago she hooked up with a charming fellow that decided to use the money for her medication to go out boozing and other things that essentially deprived her of the opportunity to actually beat the illness and get on with her life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
More back story I found out today is that she's from let's say an afluent upbringing and her parents and most of her relatives may not be filthy rich, but they get by better than most. I could tell this by the cars they were driving.
Something doesn't add up

Quote:
Originally Posted by jt25man
So my question is, is this a common thing, drinking at funerals, or is anyone else shocked or surprised that people do this?
I've never been to a funeral but from what I hear it's pretty common. Often the wake is even held in a pub.
That's the UK anyway, don't know what it's like in the US.
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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 13:27   #3
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

I've never been to a funeral (thankfully) but one of my friends died from a cancer-related illness a year ago. I didn't make it as I was deep in my teacher training, and it was in Jersey.

Some of my friends apparently just got really drunk at the wake thing afterwards. A couple of my other friends got really annoyed about it and thought it was really disrespectful. I figured it was just how they dealt with it. The girl who died (Elena) enjoyed going out and drinking too, so it wasn't like she'd have disapproved of it or anything.

Different people treat these things in different ways. Personally I wouldn't get smashed, but then that's just me.
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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 14:14   #4
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

Thankfully I've never had to go to a funeral, but if I did, I wouldn't get drunk. Having a couple drinks is one thing, but being drunk at a funeral is pretty disrespectful. But hey, they're called hillbillies for a reason...
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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 14:16   #5
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

it was a tradition in ireland to wake the body for 48-72hrs but nowadays most wakes take place in pubs or clubs
my own fathers wake lasted 4 days but that had more to do with it taking 4 days to get all the family together than 4 days of solid drinking
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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 14:24   #6
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

I think the point that jt25man is trying to make is that these guys were not drinking in a ceremonious manner, but rather on the sligh and basically being dickheads...
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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 14:39   #7
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

Seems like they are just drunks. I have been to a couple of funerals in "Hill Billy" land and there was no drinking. There was food after the funeral as many people would bring a dish or two to the bereaved for comfort.
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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 16:41   #8
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

Heres a weird thing: I dreamt I was at my own funeral!!!!
As a spirit!!!
As such, time would pass like 8x faster, and i stood there looking at people attending the cerimony, and then they buried me and put the crypt over it. IT HAD MY FACE DRAWN ON STONE!! that was ****ing scary.
And then i stood there because i did not know where to go, and i felt a lolyness that i never had experienced before. As the time would run a lot faster, i started feeling the odour of my own body decaying!
Some crazy shit i wish no one dreams of
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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 17:18   #9
jt25man
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChubbyChecker
Something doesn't add up
I don't have the answer to that, I think she was getting the money from the government for the medication. As to why her parents didn't step up and buy the medication, I have no idea, perhaps in good old parent child relationship fashion the girl either never admitted this was happening to her parents.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TouRiQueT
I think the point that jt25man is trying to make is that these guys were not drinking in a ceremonious manner, but rather on the sligh and basically being dickheads...
This is pretty much where I was going. The two guys I was with as far as I know where the only ones drinking throghout the day just "to get through it". I can understand where it's custom as some of you had mentioned to hold the wake in a pub, but this was a church heavy ceremony, and the type of church that frowns on drinking.

Since no one seems to be talking about it, I'll throw in the question of, does anyone else think it was complete bull of the guy to coerce her to marry him two weeks ago because he figured she was on her way out, and he could have that small personal victory? Have any of you heard of stuff like this before? Does anyone else think that an annulment would be a good idea in this case?
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Unread 10 Nov 2006, 19:26   #10
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

The two guys were apparently shit who didn't really care a whit about the deceased. Some woemen really know how to pick em.

What was your wife going to do had you not dissuaded her?

Why did you allow yourself to be palmed off on them after the first time?

Strife at and around funerals is fairly common.

I worked for several months during college at a funeral home. I got to drive the hearse at one of the funerals. The preacher rides with the body or at least did on this occasion. It seemed quite odd that the preacher was cracking jokes (not about the deceased, however) and wanted to talk about sports on the slow ride to the cemetary.

The funeral home I worked at had a mostly Catholic clientel. As such, you could almost always count on the priest being drunk for the ceremony. I would also note that most of the priests is Stockton seemed to be Irish, at least the ones who did the rosaries.
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Unread 11 Nov 2006, 06:04   #11
jt25man
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
The two guys were apparently shit who didn't really care a whit about the deceased. Some women really know how to pick em.
Well, like I said, one was the ex-husband. Reading your post to her she said, "hell he loved her, she just couldn't put up with his drinking any more." So it isn't about not caring, it's more like he didn't think he could get through the day "burying his wife" as he put it without knocking back a few. This is the same thing with the other guy I was with, they don't drink pop, water, punch, or anything else but beer. The wife also mentioned I forgot to tell everyone that they were chucking the empty beer cans out the window after they were empty.
Quote:
What was your wife going to do had you not dissuaded her?
She was on the side of not liking the new husband and his family because of him essentially pissing her money down the tubes. She said if no one else started a fight she was going to.
Quote:
Why did you allow yourself to be palmed off on them after the first time?
Because she wanted to ride with the girls, and there wasn't room for me, and I sure wasn't in the mood to argue with her, plus at that point I was sure the trip back would give me more material for posting.

Going back to the why didn't her parents help her, they offered to help, and even volunteered to take her to hospital visits, and doctor visits and everything, but she wouldn't let them. She wanted to be independant and thought they were doing this to pry into her life instead of just help her.

Also, the wife told me it was something with her liver, that's what the medication was for to keep her alive long enough for a transplant. Sadly she ran out of time before there was one available.

My wife told me I should add that after sitting through the service with 2 church hymns that I told her since she don't like church hymns if she went before I did I would have them sing "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead", which she thought was funny and told me that was a good idea. I also told her if I went first to have my back on a spring board with a motion detector in front of the casket to scare people coming up to look at me.
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Unread 12 Nov 2006, 21:37   #12
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Re: A Day In The Life Of Hillbillies - Funeral Edition

Very disrespectful imo, a funeral is a time to remember someone who has passed, and getting drunk at a time like that unbelievable....tbh if i met a drunk person at a funeral i would proboly kick them out of the building.
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