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View Poll Results: Who will win?
The closest yahwe's ever come to a courtroom 6 13.33%
JBG's formula for extra shit 5 11.11%
Nodrog calling it like it is 8 17.78%
s | k's alarmingly rapid trip into insanity 11 24.44%
Dastardy double dda duo of delight Part I 5 11.11%
Dastardy double dda duo of delight Part II 3 6.67%
JBG's only gay for tomkat 7 15.56%
Voters: 45. You may not vote on this poll

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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 14:56   #1
Tomkat
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POTW Voting

(waiting for JBG to turn up and put this into a poll)

Sorry it wasn't on Friday as I promised, I've been a bit busy.

Here we go:

Here are the results from the POTW (slightly late, sorry).

People voting their own posts weren't included (you should know the rules by now, even if I wasn't explicit in them).

Vote away!

Person with the most votes gets a big !
(actually, we should have some sort of prize like that - like the winner gets to choose a new picture to go into the smileys bit)


Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
Originally Posted by Yahwe
The question is proving intent. Watch this:

Prosecutor: Now Mrs SS these bus tickets, you buy one for several journeys is that correct?
Mrs SS: Yes
P: And the conductor he punches through one of these little tags per journey does he?
SS: Yes
P: now you used these bus tickets to get to work didn't you?
SS: Yes
P: And you know that your employers will reimburse you for those journeys?
SS: Yes
P: Why you probably thought that was a perk of the job? (smiling)
SS: Yes (laughing)
P: And you also use the Bus for private journeys is that true?
SS: Yes
P: But you would use the same ticket for private journeys that you would use for work journeys?
SS: Yes ... I ...
P: You must have known that that would cause problems when you claimed reimbursement didn't you?
SS: No ... I ...
P: You didn't know that having private journeys on the same ticket would cause confusion?
SS: no...
P: But Mrs SS how do you prove to the company how many journeys you have taken?
SS: You send in the Tickets... but..
P: Precisely Mrs SS you send in the tickets so surely you must have known that problems would be caused?
SS: Yes I did... but I
P: And any confusion that caused would result in the company paying for all your private bus journeys wouldn't it?
SS: Well Yes
P: how much did you earn in this job Mrs SS?
SS: £xx
P: So very private travel would have been quite a luxury to you wouldn't it?
SS:well yes
P: Isn't that what you wanted Mrs SS? An extra Bonus to your salary?
SS: No... I .... It was a mistake
P: A mistake? And how many times before have you made this mistake?
SS: I don't know... I
P: Look at these tickets Mrs SS! It's not just one time that you made this mistake is it Mrs SS? Look at this ticket dated XXXXXX and this one dated XXXXXX and this one and this one! Are they all mistakes?
SS: Yes!
P: Mrs SS the truth of this matter is that like the employee who steals pens from the stationary cupboard you knew what you were doing and you thought it was such a small offence that no one would notice didn't you?
SS: No
P: Mrs SS you knew that it would cause confusion if you took private and work journeys on the same ticket?
SS: Yes
P:You knew that there were private journeys on those tickets when you submitted them
SS: Yes but I forgot
P: You knew that the result of that confusion would be free private travel for you,
SS: I ...
P: The real truth Mrs SS is that you intended to fraudulently gain from submitting those tickets didn't you?
SS: No... I
P: And the only 'mistake' Mrs SS is the fact that you got caught! isn't it?
SS: no....
P: No further Questions.

see?
from http://pirate.planetarion.com/showth...20#post2945720




Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBeGood
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
To establish a formula, one must have at the barest minimum two nameable objects or quantities (call them A and B) and an operation that compares them. Such comparison must default to either = (which asserts the objects are the same) or <> (which asserts that they are not the same).

Since we don't know whether or not there is more than one nameable quantity, nor the nature of the comparisons, there can be only one nameable quantity which identifies whatever may or may not be contained within the system. I call this quantity "shit".

A similar analysis applied to the concept of a mathematical operation leads one to the conclusion that, in the absence of a definable operation on a system which may or may not be empty, one can only assert that at least one undefined operation may exist. Since the word "exists" fails to imply the dynamic nature inherent in a process as opposed to the simple concept of "being" which can be applied to an operation-free system, I define this operation with the word "happen."

By combining the concept of an undefinable quantity that may or may not exist within the system with the concept of an undefinable operation that may or may not occur within the system, we arrive quickly at the most fundamental of all logical statements that can be made about a system, even when nothing is known about the contents or processes that may be found therein:

"Shit happens."
from http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...4&postcount=11




Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
Originally Posted by nodrog
stop making shit posts you dumb slut
from http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...80&postcount=3




Quote:
Originally Posted by s|k
Originally Posted by s|k
You're a moron. I didn't receive spam you idiot. If you had learned the ability to ****ing read you would have noticed that I received a legitimate email about getting into grad school. ****ing moron.

You're the retard here, you and your little buddies around here. Your threads are consistently unintellectual dribble. Like this one for example. Just what is it you're doing? If you don't like what people are posting you have the choice to not read it, or you have the choice to go somewhere else.

You and all your f*ck buddies have self esteem issues. You, Ste, Deepflow, Yahwe, Dace and others have created A PACT OF SHIT ™ & © 2005.
In capable of finding avenues of gratifying your inherent meanness in your daily life, you have banded together to twist the arms of legitimate nice people like horn, myself, Sigrid, others.

The benefit that A PACT OF SHIT ™ & © 2005 brings you idiots is that you can always rely on each other convince one another of the brilliance of your posting and thread creation and the moral justification of attacking outsiders (despite the reality of your inherent shiftiness).

Your meets aren't 'GD Meets' as all of you that makeup A PACT OF SHIT ™ & © 2005 do not represent the entirety of GD. It's simply members of APOS getting together to stroke each others genitalia. You should call it 'APOSitive meet of shit' ™ and then not bother to show pictures. Because I don't give a f*ck what you people do.
from http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...4&postcount=15




Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
Originally Posted by dda
I hereby proclaim myself a genuine "Hero of the People."

This afternoon I had some legal papers that I want to make sure got to another attorney as soon as possible. The distance to his office and back to mine was 18 blocks, roughly 1.5 miles (in Stockton-on-San-Joaquin not that not-worthy-of-the-name Stockton in the UK).

I know what you are thinking. " An excessively long distance", right?

I weighed my options.

I could get someone else to make the delivery for me because I have this kind of power over the lives of the little people in my office.

I could take a county car and DRIVE to the other attorney's office and drive back.

I asked myself, "What would Zhukov do?" (Actually, I first asked myself what would MM do but the answer was so distressing that I dropped that line of inquiry.)

Would comrade Zhukov use an automobile thus harming the environment and wasting precious fossil fuel? NO, HE WOULD NOT, SIR.

Would comrade Zhukov consume fossil fuels to the enrichment of the filthy capitalists? WHAT MUST YOU BE THINKING, OF COURSE NOT. (Thus I reasoned with myself.)

Fortified with the knowledge that the true courage lay in the direction of walking, I set forth, even at my advanced age to trudge the 18 blocks round trip. My heart was bouyed by the knowlede that somewhere in Norway I would be seen for the true hero of the masses that I was being.

As I trudged along, humming "The Internationale", the air was sweeter, my spirit lighter knowing that I was striking a blow for environmentalism AND socialism at a single stroke. The fact that I was being paid in excess of $50 per hour to complete this task in no way influenced my decision.

I was so overcome with feelings of brotherhood that I even stopped at a park, populated entirely by Negros, to sit a moment and tie my shoe. I knew that this show of acceptance on my part would plant a seed of understanding in their dusky hearts. (I was careful not to make eye contact, however, as I am not altogether foolish and did not want to encourage improper liberties on their part.)

As I sit here typing these words, my head is bowed in awe at the utter humility with which I have achieved this state of nobility.
from http://pirate.planetarion.com/showth...28#post2947728




Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
I was musing this morning (I find morning to be the best musing time) aobut my world view. This is something I try to reasses on a semi-regular basis. Kind of like hitting the "refresh" button.

I am not a world traveler, at least not to this point in my life. Thus my view of other people and other lands is shaped by outside sources. Since I have joined GD (a short 5 months ago) my contact with folks from foreign lands has been greatly increased. That is the good news. The bad news is that my exposure has been to people on GD. So my musings, this morn, were along the lines of, "Well, what do you think of the world now?"

Are the British really the gin swilling, rohypnol using, drug abusing, overly-hetero yet strangely- homo sexual, kiss-up civil servant, football-cheering, American-bashing, oddballs that I have come to know and love?

Are the Norwegians truly all protest-sign-carrying, bomb throwing, tree-hugging communists that have met my gaze?

What of the Dutch. Do the women all know more about football than the men but have trouble communicating in English?

The Swedes have all apparently died and disappeared. Is this a good or bad thing?

Australians seem to be cookie munchers in search of the best place to get coffee. Does this make Australia a desirable or undesirable place to visit?

And though I shudder to think of it, it seems that New Zealand is populated by male law students and teen aged girls who can't tell the difference between Marilyn Manson and Marilyn Manson. How absurd. I know that there are two islands. Does one group inhabit the north island while the others inhabit the south? Do they ever mingle? Why would they want to?

As for people from Texas (yes, even in America, Texas is considered to be a world of its own, not least of all by Texans), don't get me started.

Am I wrong to judge the world by GD standards?
from http://pirate.planetarion.com/showth...ns#post2947458




Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
Stickied so I can have sex with tomkat at a later date.
from http://pirate.planetarion.com/showpo...5&postcount=37





So there we have them.

Will it be Yahwe, roleplaying (I'll be the judge and you're the dirty little criminal who'll just do anything to get off your charges!)?

Or will it be JonnyBGood, being predicatably cynical - this time with extra maths on the side?

Or maybe Nodrog, being his usual welcoming and cheerful self?

Maybe s|k, with his "Hating on the internet isn't cool" post - we're all horrible and now he's in a mental institution? Go GD!

How about dda? I heard when he walked those 18 blocks people stopped and stared from their cars, suddenly realising what legs were for!

If that dda post doesn't float your boat, how about the second? In this one he categorises us all and tells us Brits like drinking tea with the Queen! Pip pip!

Or another JBG post - it got me hot and sticky ;D
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 15:44   #2
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Re: Potw

What, no poll?
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 15:45   #3
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Re: Potw

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
What, no poll?
While you were busy making that comment I had sex with your mother. Twice.
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 16:02   #4
Leshy
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Re: Potw

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
While you were busy making that comment I had sex with your mother. Twice.
You finally got tired of your own mother then?
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 16:03   #5
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Re: Potw

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leshy
You finally got tired of your own mother then?
No.








Edit: urs is hawter
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 16:04   #6
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Re: POTW Nominations

john cooper clarke told a joke about a wedding in burnley.

"you can tell it's in burnley, because all the guests are on one side of the chapel."
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 16:22   #7
skiddy
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skiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so little
Re: POTW Nominations

This should have been called POTW Voting.

It was when a professional done it.

Now JBG and Tomkat broke it
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 16:31   #8
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Re: POTW Nominations

Quote:
Originally Posted by skiddy
Now JBG and Tomkat broke it
orly?
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 16:37   #9
skiddy
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skiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so littleskiddy contributes so much and asks for so little
Re: POTW Nominations

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
orly?
Your blind faith in moderator powers does not scare me, Lord Jonny.
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 16:41   #10
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Cannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus wouldCannon_Fodder spreads love and joy to the forum in the same way Jesus would
Re: POTW Voting

Well it scares me


Voted for s|k because it made me laugh.


Well the others did too...


So really it doesnt matter...
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Unread 23 Oct 2005, 20:45   #11
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Re: POTW Voting

What, no public poll?
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Unread 24 Oct 2005, 23:42   #12
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Re: POTW Voting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Stew
What, no public poll?
i voted 4 ur mum
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Unread 24 Oct 2005, 23:43   #13
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Re: POTW Voting

ITT jonny reveals an obsession with older women
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Unread 25 Oct 2005, 00:00   #14
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Re: POTW Voting

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
i voted 4 ur mum
i bum ur mum then cum on her tum.

huh huh huh huh huh huh
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Unread 25 Oct 2005, 00:08   #15
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Re: POTW Voting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kurashima
i bum ur mum then cum on her tum.

huh huh huh huh huh huh
Even prostitutes have standards.
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Unread 26 Oct 2005, 02:29   #16
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Re: POTW Voting

JBG. You know, when my nomination wins, you're officially gay?
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Unread 28 Oct 2005, 13:56   #17
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Re: POTW Voting

was this a one-off revival?

if it isn't, it really should be renamed POEOW, post of every other week, as while the vote has been running, there hasn't been a new nominations thread

(inserts obligatory "not that we expect competence from a teacher" jibe)
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Unread 28 Oct 2005, 13:59   #18
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Exclamation Re: POTW Voting

Back when I was doing this, the streets were clean, Jonny was sober, and the nominations thread ran precisely on time, and it was waved off by an attendant with a flag and a whistle.
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Unread 28 Oct 2005, 14:03   #19
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Re: POTW Voting

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
Jonny was sober
Ah to be six again. It's up to tomkat if he wants to do the potw threads, I just do the magic poll. Congratulations s|k on your delightfully entertaining trip into dementia though.
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Unread 28 Oct 2005, 14:24   #20
JC
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Re: POTW Nominations

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
john cooper clarke told a joke about a wedding in burnley.

"you can tell it's in burnley, because all the guests are on one side of the chapel."
It's funny because its true
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Unread 28 Oct 2005, 15:35   #21
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Re: POTW Voting

I voted for JBG.
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Unread 3 Nov 2005, 01:52   #22
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Re: POTW Voting

unsticky?
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