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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:07   #1
Forest
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Gay/Lesbian adoptions

On my course tonight, we had to answer a series of questions. We had to say whether we agreed with something or not. Most were basic, and obvious, such as a mother bathing her baby, or a man raping a child.

But then came some cloudy questions.

The question came down. Should gay/lesbian couples be allowed to adopt.

Everyone said yes (all females). Then it came to me. I said no. My feelings are, that working with children a long time, that generally (there will always be exceptions), that children with a male and female parent are more balanced than ones without.
Now, parents split up, and as a society we cant do anything about that. Children end up with no male (or female) to bring them up, and thats not a conscious decision anyone takes.

However, if we allow adoption, then we are making a conscious decision to deny a child a male, or female, to grow up with.
Is that fair on the child? I don't believe it is.

Things got very heated, we discussed for quite some time, then argued all through our coffee break.
We still couldn't come up with a definitive answer, and tbh, I don't think there is one.

What do you guys think?

And please leave the political correctness crap out the thread. I am not interested in hearing just what people think is the right thing to say, I want to hear what your personal feelings are.
Also please dont start with the homophobic stuff, this is NOT a thread for that.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:11   #2
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

I say yes

At least the kid will grow up with a good sense of fashion.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:15   #3
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Good question... It could be argued that a loving home is better than no home at all.
It could also be argued that it isn't an enviroment to raise kids in.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:15   #4
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Well, suppose that a parent wants to put their child up for adoption, but are distrustful of the UK's specialist adoption services. So, rather than using them, they privately locate a foster couple whom they feel will be able to provide their child with the best possible upbringing. This couple happens to be gay. Would you have any problem with this parent giving them custody of the child?

I ask this question because your post uses the word 'allow' on several occassions, which seems to imply that you feel that you (or anyone else) deserves a say in the adoption process - ie that it should be the concern of any parties other than the parents and the proposed foster parents. If this is the case, then what is your reason for thinking that parents require the permission of others when deciding who should raise their child?

The only role the state should play in the adoption process is the same as the one which they should play in the normal child raising process, namely taking the child away from its (foster) parents if it is being abused.

Last edited by Nodrog; 10 Nov 2005 at 23:21.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:18   #5
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

I dont think I should have any say in it. I am also not even convinced that I am in the right.

Is denying a child a mother (or father), not violating there basic rights?
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:20   #6
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
Is denying a child a mother (or father), not violating there basic rights?
If it is, then surely this would mean that single parents should be legally obliged to find a partner of the opposite sex to help them raise their child.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:21   #7
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

In an ideal world, yes.

But a parent splitting up is not something we can control, whereas handing children to a gay couple is.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:21   #8
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Shouldnt it simply be a question of whats better for the child?

Personally i think the same about it as i think about adoptions by "older" people. In germany already a 36 year old wealthy couple is very likely to be denied if they try to adopt a child.

There seem to be quite many children in need for adoption and i think it is safe to say that beeing raised up from a lesbian/gay or older couple is (in general) better for the child then beeing raised up in a orphanage.

There are however bad couples/parents everywhere - so in general the gov. should have a look from time to time about how the childs are doing and that "look" doesnt mean asking the parents. I guess the time comes closer to such a "control" in germany because of the recent bad stuff which happened here.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:25   #9
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
But a parent splitting up is not something we can control
Well it is - we can tell the single parent that they arent allowed to continue raising their child unless they can find a partner of the opposite sex. I'm not sure why this is any less a violation of their rights than telling them that they cannot choose a homosexual couple to raise their child if that is what they wish to do.

Similarly, what if a homosexual couple decides to pay a surrogate mother to bear a child for them? Would there be any problem with this? There dont seem to be any rights being infringed, either directly or indirectly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramihyn
Shouldnt it simply be a question of whats better for the child?
Better in who's opinion? Those putting their children up for adoption, or the government's?
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:26   #10
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

If a young single mother was incapable of looking her her child because she was 16, and her parents refused to help, but she wants to keep the child, should the government have the right to take the child away and give it to a couple who are able to give it a better upbringing?
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:28   #11
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
In an ideal world, yes.

But a parent splitting up is not something we can control, whereas handing children to a gay couple is.
But if you regularly have more orphans then parents willing to adopt them, you are denying the children their right to be raised in a family if you simply deny all lesbian/gay coupls to adopt children.

Now imagine a perfect wealthy/healthy gay or lesbian couple - now think about the parents you have seen around you and your community and their childs. Do you sincerly think that any heterosexual couple are better parents then the aforementioned gay/lesbian couple?

If not - then you cant make the simple sexual orientation the only decisive factor about the adoption.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:32   #12
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer
If a young single mother was incapable of looking her her child because she was 16, and her parents refused to help, but she wants to keep the child, should the government have the right to take the child away and give it to a couple who are able to give it a better upbringing?
If the child is abused, whether it be physical, sexual, emotional or neglect, then yes, absolutely.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:34   #13
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer
If a young single mother was incapable of looking her her child because she was 16, and her parents refused to help, but she wants to keep the child, should the government have the right to take the child away and give it to a couple who are able to give it a better upbringing?
No - the government should try ANYTHING to help the young mother. Only if she is incapable of raising up her child with all the help she can get and that it is clear that the child is getting permanent damage or is in physical or psychological danger - only then should the government be able to take the child from her.

In fact thats pretty much how it is done in germany - there are interesting examples where a "mentally challenged" mother with a child is getting daily help from gov. funded "day mothers" only so she can keep her child. The day mothers also make sure that the child gets the part of education from them which the mother due to her mental disability cant give to her.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:35   #14
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
Similarly, what if a homosexual couple decides to pay a surrogate mother to bear a child for them? Would there be any problem with this? There dont seem to be any rights being infringed, either directly or indirectly.

The childs right is infringed by denying it a mother.

I can walk into any classroom and within 3 hours, tell which children have one parent and which have two. This is quite easy to do with experience, and although there will be circumstances when a single parent will be better than two, in normal circumstances (where there is no abuse etc), will almost always be correct.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:36   #15
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer
If a young single mother was incapable of looking her her child because she was 16, and her parents refused to help, but she wants to keep the child, should the government have the right to take the child away and give it to a couple who are able to give it a better upbringing?
No, of course not. Allowing the government to decide who should and shouldnt be allowed to raise children is an exceptionally dangerous road to go down. Terms like 'incapable' are inherently value-laden, and serve only to normalise a particular idea of what parenting should look like - at the end of the day, youre going to be appointing a government minister to leglislate what makes a 'good parent'. Personally I think that a strong religious upbringing is very detrimental to people in later life and constitutes psychological abuse, but it would be bordering on post-birth eugenics to declare that highly religious people should have their children confiscated. Similarly, its easy to imagine governments at particular times declaring that jews/blacks/sex-offenders/poor people/chavs/despised-social-group-X were 'incapable' of raising children for whatever reasons.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:36   #16
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

I thought this would be a thread in which Forest asks for advice.

Oh well..
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:40   #17
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennifer
If a young single mother was incapable of looking her her child because she was 16, and her parents refused to help, but she wants to keep the child, should the government have the right to take the child away and give it to a couple who are able to give it a better upbringing?
On a sidenote - as the young mother is likely pretty broke - if the mothers parents who refuse to help are wealthy - the government should at least have the option to get part of the funding from the parents. Obviously also from the genetic father no matter where he hides.

Sometimes you have to use gov. power to force people to do things for the good of the weakest member of its society - the child. It wouldnt help anyway if the gov. ignored these childs - in the US there was a research study which found out that every dollar you invest into improving the raising of a child in a difficult situation at home saves 3 dollars later if the child becomes a criminal.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:42   #18
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ramihyn
On a sidenote - as the young mother is likely pretty broke - if the mothers parents who refuse to help are wealthy - the government should at least have the option to get part of the funding from the parents. Obviously also from the genetic father no matter where he hides.
What? People should be forced to support unwanted grandchildren?

Assuming the father didnt want the child and stated this before it was born (giving the mother time for an abortion), why should he have any obligation to support it either?
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:48   #19
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

So now the question goes from a cloudy gay adoption, to an even cloudier abortion subject. Life around children is never simple
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:51   #20
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

A child could be brought up in a much more damaging family than one in which the parents are the same sex. Studies have shown that children need love and affection as a basic human need. They can get this in with same sex parents, they can not get it with 'normal' parents.

So long as they are looked after and receive what they need I don't see any problem with it. Perhaps they will grow up as a more accepting and tolerant person which is certainly a good thing.

Anyway, the choice is not usually between a same sex couple or a different sex couple but between any couple or none.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:53   #21
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
Better in who's opinion? Those putting their children up for adoption, or the government's?
Well i thought that if a person/couple gives their child into adoption, it always involves the government. The government certainly should have a say about who finally is allowed to adopt the child. That may sound "big brother" alike, but otherwise i bet you would have children sold to rich perverts by "adoption" from poor people or even given away to religious "leaders" for "proper" raising. Parentship is a powerful legal position over a child - so be careful who you pass it to.

It may raise concerns that the government decides in such a case if a adoption can take place, but it certainly would be more troublesome to me if the government couldnt interfere.

I dont know if the people who gave their child for adoption can have a say about who gets their child. I doubt it.
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:54   #22
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
My feelings are, that working with children a long time, that generally (there will always be exceptions), that children with a male and female parent are more balanced than ones without.
Do you have any justification for these "feelings"?

And of course gays should be "allowed" to adopt. To say anything else is simply born out of discrimination. I hear it all the time. Numerous people at my work have said things like "I'd never let a gay person look after my children".
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Unread 10 Nov 2005, 23:57   #23
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ste
A child could be brought up in a much more damaging family than one in which the parents are the same sex. Studies have shown that children need love and affection as a basic human need. They can get this in with same sex parents, they can not get it with 'normal' parents.

So long as they are looked after and receive what they need I don't see any problem with it. Perhaps they will grow up as a more accepting and tolerant person which is certainly a good thing.

Anyway, the choice is not usually between a same sex couple or a different sex couple but between any couple or none.
True and i agree, but having a child puts a lot of strain on a partnership and (i believe) same sex couples have a higher separation rate which means they'd be more likely to go through broken homes etc...
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 00:00   #24
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by sniborp
True and i agree, but having a child puts a lot of strain on a partnership and (i believe) same sex couples have a higher separation rate which means they'd be more likely to go through broken homes etc...
I'm not sure any comparison would be meaningful since "a couple" is pretty ambiguous (even where it include cohabitation). It could stretch from a married couple together for 20 years to where a girl allows her boyfriend to crash at his house because he got booted out of his flat or whatever.

But anyway, why are we even allowing sexuality to be a criteria on which tese things are measured. Why not someone's race (e.g. if white people split up more than Asians then they shouldn't be allowed to adopt, etc) or their height (short people break up more...) etc.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 00:01   #25
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dante Hicks
Do you have any justification for these "feelings"?

And of course gays should be "allowed" to adopt. To say anything else is simply born out of discrimination. I hear it all the time. Numerous people at my work have said things like "I'd never let a gay person look after my children".
Absolutely.
As a general rule (again I am at pains to say there are exceptions, but children with a male and female parent are more balanced, both socially and intellectually, than children with a single parent upbringing.
This is something I have been able to observe over a few years, and is not something new that is unknown in childcare circles.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 00:03   #26
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
As a general rule (again I am at pains to say there are exceptions, but children with a male and female parent are more balanced, both socially and intellectually, than children with a single parent upbringing.
Even if that were true (and I think it's dubious since you'd need to control for things like class, age, education, etc) what does that have to do with a gay couple? A gay couple aren't a single parent and wouldn't face the same issues.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 00:04   #27
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Earlier on there was a program called Wanted: New Mum and Dad, oddly enough about the adoption process. Last week they had a boy who went to a gay couple, specifically chosen for him as he still had a very strong attachment to his mother (they didnt go into the reasons he was in care, but he was still allowed to see his mum on occasion). They decided this way it wouldn't be that they were 'replacing' his mum, but they still had a new family for him. As I recall, the boy was about 7 and did not appear concerned about the fact he had 2 dads, laughing about what he had said when children commented on it.

While I would agree there is commonly a detrimental effect caused by being the child of a single parent, I wouldn't be so sure about that neccesarily being caused by the fact that there is only a single gender, especially if the parent and child are the same (a single father with a teenage daughter apparently has it VERY tough). A single parent still has to carry out all the tasks of running a home, things which cannot wait like cooking and cleaning, leaving less time to spend with the child. A two parent family (hetro- or homo-sexual) has negligibly more housework to do, and 2 people to do it, so there is a much greater chance of at least one parent having the time to spend with their child, giving the love and attention that helps them to grow into well rounded individuals. So long as care is taken to be aware of the added possibility of bullying due to being different (though if kids want to they can find something different about ANY child - is fat/smells/has glasses/freckles/curly hair/short hair/sticking out ears/big feet/tall/short/picks nose/crybaby/teachers pet/has no dad/mum...the list goes on...) then I see no reason a homosexual couple should be denied the opportunity to adopt a child they, by the time they actually get as far as adopting them, should certainly have grown to love.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 00:08   #28
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

i would never adopt a gay person.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 00:08   #29
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
What? People should be forced to support unwanted grandchildren?
Yes i think in some cases this should happen. I will explain my reasons below.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nodrog
Assuming the father didnt want the child and stated this before it was born (giving the mother time for an abortion), why should he have any obligation to support it either?
There are people to who killing (aborting) their child - a new live within them - is a impossible ethical choice. I think nobody on this planet should have the power to force a mother to abort her unborn child, because for some people it may well mean that you practically kill them too because of the huge ethical implications.

Financing day mothers and supporting a young single mother is an expensive thing and due to the fact that our government is practically broke (germany), i guess its more fair to get part of the money back from the parents of the mother in case they are indeed wealthy, instead of just having the tax payer paying it all.

The situation changes if the parents of the young mother repudiates her - which can happen in those cases.

My opinion that the gov. should even have the option to get part of the money to finance their grandchilds raising from the mothers parents if they are wealthy is just based on the desperate financial situation of my country currently. Its nice to have high ethics and morales, but you also need to be able to finance them
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 00:31   #30
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
Absolutely.
As a general rule (again I am at pains to say there are exceptions, but children with a male and female parent are more balanced, both socially and intellectually, than children with a single parent upbringing.
This is something I have been able to observe over a few years, and is not something new that is unknown in childcare circles.
Two adults taking care of a child is always better than one. Thats logical.
But lets say a two woman adobt a boy. Now this boy won't have any male parent whom he can ask all those questions about typicaly "male stuff" (everything from how survive within the male hierachi at school to 'bees and flowers"). But why limit this childs contact to just include the parents (even if they are a heterosexual couple living under the same roof)? Surely the boy could get 'male-contact' from others, like grandfathers, uncles, friends of his parents etc.
Why limit the upbrining of a child to the 'familiy" as we know it?
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 00:46   #31
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Having male contact is not the same as having a Dad around all the time, and vice versa for females.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 00:47   #32
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

if the choice is between a perfectly suitable, settled straight couple and a perfectly suited, settled gay couple, go with the straight couple because it is, however negligibly, a better environment for the child.

Of course, that would depend on demand for adopted children outstripping supply, which is patently not the case, so really there's absolutely no legitimate argument for stopping a suitable gay couple adopting outwith homophobia.

of course, Forest, we wouldnt accuse you of petty bigotry would we? No, not at all.



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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:03   #33
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang

of course, Forest, we wouldnt accuse you of petty bigotry would we? No, not at all.



Oh wai

heh.

I dont see how this comes into it. I have stated why I think something. I have also stated I dont know if I am right.
Its certainly an emotive subject, and not one that anyone who has posted here can give a definitive and 100% correct answer. There is simply too many equations to be taken into account.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:04   #34
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
Having male contact is not the same as having a Dad around all the time, and vice versa for females.
You've still not explained why you "need" to have a mum and dad to be a balanced human being. Or even why it's preferable. You've said that two parents are better than one (which as I say, I'm willing to accept for arguments sake) but you've done little else.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:07   #35
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
Having male contact is not the same as having a Dad around all the time, and vice versa for females.
Having a dad isnt always the same as having male contact either.

Just to take my own father as an example. His father was a sailor, often staying abroad for two years at a time (sailing in Asia). And getting contact from several menn should also be better than just relying on one.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:09   #36
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

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Originally Posted by KoeN
i would never adopt a gay person.
What about two 18-year old lesbian beauties who would have wild lesbian sex and let you and your friends watch?
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:21   #37
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

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What about two 18-year old lesbian beauties who would have wild lesbian sex and let you and your friends watch?
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:23   #38
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

What do you mean by balanced? Are children adopted by gay and lesbian parents more likely to commit crimes?
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:24   #39
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

If a person is a paedophile, or an alcoholic, or drug adictied, or a child abuser, or spouse abuser or any number of personal problems, they should not be allowed to be parents. Even if this means having the government rip the child away from the parents.

Whether a person is straight or gay they may or may not have any of the negative traits of character which make them unfit to be allowed to have a child. Whether they are gay or straight has not been shown, by any study that I am aware of, to have a negative effect on a child in and of itself.

Anyone who is allowed to adopt a child shold be watched closely for an extended period of time to make sure that they adopted the child for the right reasons and that the state has not put the child into an abusive or harmful situation.

As to the financial support of a child: grandparents often do take on the responsibility of caring for the grandchild. It might be reasonable to have them contribute to the support of the child until the parent reaches the age of majority but not beyond. The father who says I don't want the baby should have thought about that before he screwed around. He assumed the risk of what he did and he should surely be obliged to provide at least financial support for his child.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:34   #40
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by dda
Whether a person is straight or gay they may or may not have any of the negative traits of character which make them unfit to be allowed to have a child. Whether they are gay or straight has not been shown, by any study that I am aware of, to have a negative effect on a child in and of itself.
It may happen due to prejudice by others that the child gets singled out. Hardly the "fault" of the gay/lesbian couple, but thats what you have to deal with during a period of transition where gay/lesbian couples as parents are something rare and may not be accepted by some other parents. Teachers should be aware of it and make sure to intervene if things get too bad - but thats the same for fat kids, kids with glasses, kids of different color or religion etc.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:37   #41
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
Its certainly an emotive subject, and not one that anyone who has posted here can give a definitive and 100% correct answer. There is simply too many equations to be taken into account.
I think several people in here (including me) have given a very definitive reply. To sum it up:

Gender of parents cant/shouldnt play the decisive role about if or if not a couple can adopt a child.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 01:43   #42
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

I agreeing 100% with dda for a change

Just to add to the last point; In Norway the guy is forced to pay even if he doesnt want too. If he has no income the state will "pay for him". If he doesnt want to pay, the state will take money directly out of his salery.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 02:06   #43
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

I find it hard to imagine being brought up by a dad and a dad. I think I would find it difficult.

I can see the benefits of having a mum and a dad; at least, I can see how my relationship with both parents has helped me mature. I do think that my mother has certain 'female' characteristics that my father lacks, and vice versa. I could hardly quiz my mum on certain (sexual, mostly) things. Perhaps these are partly just individual characteristics, though.
I suppose the issue rests upon whether we see any innate differences between men and women, and whether these have any impact upon raising a child. I think that there are, but I realise that I may be in the minority.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 02:15   #44
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

May I post to say that seeing the thread title I inwardly groaned, but having read all of the posts (well actually i found the crazy german a bit too wordy so i skimmed his a lot) I have to cofess to my own biggotry?

GD I underestimated you and I apologise. You have with only the exception of Forest all posted well thought out and liberal responses.

Now as to the actual topic. I feel I must once again be the voice of boring old reality but:

Single People are already allowed to adopt children.

No distinction is made on the basis of the single person's sexuality. So what the presents law against gay couples adopting does is force one of the gay couple to adopt the child on his/her own. This seems unnecessarilly silly.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 02:18   #45
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Yahwe
May I post to say that seeing the thread title I inwardly groaned, but having read all of the posts (well actually i found the crazy german a bit too wordy so i skimmed his a lot) I have to cofess to my own biggotry?

GD I underestimated you and I apologise. You have with only the exception of Forest all posted well thought out and liberal responses.

Now as to the actual topic. I feel I must once again be the voice of boring old reality but:

Single People are already allowed to adopt children.

No distinction is made on the basis of the single person's sexuality. So what the presents law against gay couples adopting does is force one of the gay couple to adopt the child on his/her own. This seems unnecessarilly silly.
Is precedence given to couples (is marriage looked upon as advantageous?) over single parents?
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 02:25   #46
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Boogster
Is precedence given to couples (is marriage looked upon as advantageous?) over single parents?
we have a shortage of people willing to adopt. not a surplus.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 08:35   #47
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

I have no idea what the (statistically) best parental model is, so on the basis of "who would make the best parents" I won't judge. The one thing that concerns me though, is whether the child would be more likely to be bullied. I think this is quite possible and needs taking into consideration when deciding whether gay couples should be allowed to adopt or not.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 09:08   #48
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

As I said above, children are children, and if they want to bully a particular kid they will find something to tease them about. If they are the most popular kid in school every other kid will go home and whine thet they dont have two dads.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 09:31   #49
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Forest
My feelings are, that working with children a long time, that generally (there will always be exceptions), that children with a male and female parent are more balanced than ones without.
I presume you acquired this feeling under a double blind repeatable experiment with control samples.
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Unread 11 Nov 2005, 13:47   #50
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Re: Gay/Lesbian adoptions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Phang
if the choice is between a perfectly suitable, settled straight couple and a perfectly suited, settled gay couple, go with the straight couple because it is, however negligibly, a better environment for the child.

Of course, that would depend on demand for adopted children outstripping supply, which is patently not the case, so really there's absolutely no legitimate argument for stopping a suitable gay couple adopting outwith homophobia.
I would agree with this though I would be quite worried about how much stick the kids in school would get over having gay parents. I can remember a few kids in my school who had gay parents or were gay themselves and even if until then they had been virtually ignored by most people afterwards their life was made hell.
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