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Unread 23 Jun 2006, 13:20   #1
xtrasyn
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Funeral rites and the likes

A good ladyfriend of mine (god she´s so friggin´ hot, but this on a sidenote) had to go to a funeral service today, where they were forced to sing a song together. She was all ´WTF´ on the phone so I will pass by this weekend to ask ´in-depth´ what the experience was like...

Anyway, this made me think. If I die, I want to be buried. I don´t have any special wishes - for now. However, one time on star trek (okay I lost half the audience now but who cares) I saw the Klingon ritual.

When klingons are about to die it is their best friend that actually kills them ´to save their honor´. Apart from that, the klingons present roar and yell in an astounding way, as to ´warn the spirits in the other world... A Klingon warrior is coming!´. I like the idea behind it.

Before I always wanted to be cast into a plexiglass block so that my offspring can position my waving and smiling corpse in the house or garden without any decay. This way I could still be in the odd family picture, and give them a faint hint of my everlasting presence.

Do you have any wishes or last wants for your end?
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Unread 23 Jun 2006, 13:39   #2
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

I want my body to be wrapped up in some kind of non smelling paper or summet, attached to an open parachute and then thrown out of a plane whilst flying over a beautiful part of an ocean.

I would then float to the ground and just kind of sink to the bottom and be at one with nature.

True story.
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Unread 23 Jun 2006, 15:22   #3
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

Quote:
Originally Posted by pig
I would then float to the ground and just kind of sink to the bottom and be at one with nature.
I can see your body being washed up on the shores of some aboriginal island somewhere and then you being worshipped forever more as some form of God.

If it could happen to anyone...
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Unread 23 Jun 2006, 16:00   #4
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

I don't know much about my funeral but I'm pretty damn sure the A Team music (and possibly a mock-up van) would be involved.
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Unread 23 Jun 2006, 17:06   #5
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

Quote:
Originally Posted by xtrasyn
When klingons are about to die it is their best friend that actually kills them ´to save their honor´. Apart from that, the klingons present roar and yell in an astounding way, as to ´warn the spirits in the other world... A Klingon warrior is coming!´. I like the idea behind it.
If I become your best friend, does that mean I can kill you?
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Unread 23 Jun 2006, 17:35   #6
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

i hope to be rich enough that i can say "all drinks are on me" for the night of my funeral in whatever city i happen to be in.

of course repairs and compensation for the vast quantities of inevitable damages wouldn't be on me, what with me being dead. and LAUGHING. if i weren't dead and all.
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Unread 23 Jun 2006, 18:06   #7
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Exclamation Re: Funeral rites and the likes

I want to be cremated and for my ashes to be scattered somewhere which is speshal to me. (Not telling)

The notion of burial is absolutely ****ing ridiculous. Completely egotistical to the point of disapearing up your own arse and a waste of good land to boot.
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Unread 23 Jun 2006, 18:34   #8
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
The notion of burial is absolutely ****ing ridiculous. Completely egotistical to the point of disapearing up your own arse and a waste of good land to boot.
i agree completely.

that's why if i ever build a house it will definitely be on an indian burial ground.
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Unread 23 Jun 2006, 19:37   #9
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

yeah but burning just kills the enivironment and releases carbon, which is worse than rape, as a final **** you it might be funny but if you're dead you can't chuckle at the misery of others. I think the zoroastrians have the best ceremony with their towers of silence, short of that id like pigs version. But the thought of animals consuming me is somewhat comforting.
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Unread 24 Jun 2006, 03:30   #10
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

"when I forget you can light my funeral pyre and put me on it: dead or alive."
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Unread 24 Jun 2006, 09:06   #11
xtrasyn
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dead_Meat
If I become your best friend, does that mean I can kill you?
Only if you also warn the afterworld of my coming.
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Unread 24 Jun 2006, 09:43   #12
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marilyn Manson
I want to be cremated and for my ashes to be scattered somewhere which is speshal to me. (Not telling)

The notion of burial is absolutely ****ing ridiculous. Completely egotistical to the point of disapearing up your own arse and a waste of good land to boot.
You're contributing to global warming.
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Unread 25 Jun 2006, 01:47   #13
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

I want a funeral pyre, complete with my longboat and some precious posessions.

either that a huge perfect sphere built of some kind of mineral in the middle of some desert with my body inside would be cool.
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Unread 26 Jun 2006, 14:53   #14
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Exclamation Re: Funeral rites and the likes

Quote:
Originally Posted by horn
your speshal place is an athletic man's arse amirite?
Yes because I'm gay I'm a rampant ****ing cockwhore who is completely sex-obsessed.




U hot?

Quote:
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You're contributing to global warming.
Beautiful.
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Unread 26 Jun 2006, 15:00   #15
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

Well I'll probably give anything of use to medical science. I guess the rest of me I'd like buried at sea.
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Unread 26 Jun 2006, 15:02   #16
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Exclamation Re: Funeral rites and the likes

Quote:
Originally Posted by JonnyBGood
I guess the rest of me I'd like buried at sea.
STUCK INSIDE A ****ING WHALE
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Unread 26 Jun 2006, 15:07   #17
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

I'm sure the smell will be appalling but I doubt I'll still have my nose so oh well.










Edit: I'll also be dead
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Unread 26 Jun 2006, 18:31   #18
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Re: Funeral rites and the likes

My thoughts on funerals is to avoid them as long as possible. I don't like going to funerals, though am finding more and more folks I know begining to die off. I do not wish to be present at my funeral. They can go ahead without me. I don't care what they do with me as long as I am allowed to toddle on and not have to sit* through it.

*However, if forced to be present for the funeral I want to be seated in the middle of the mourners, in an upright position with a bored expression cemented into position.
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